Hey guys this is my first ever story.

It is based on events that have happened in my life and I hope you like it

I not really sure of what to say apart from I don't own Sonny with a chance

I hope you enjoy it :)

Sonny's POV

My bed is simple but comfy, it engulfs me. I am standing in my room; I feel confined, lost and destroyed, staring at the simple wall in front of me, the memories this room holds is mind blowing. There are so many thoughts storming through my mind, it's painful, like a never ending headache. What runs through it is my dark past not even my closest of friends know what happened, they shouldn't it would scar them internally, if only they knew.

I reach my hand up and run it along the rough surface of the white washed wall, there are many words written roughly in black pencil, smudged in places where my hand has accidently rubbed against it. They are words of inspiration and quotes of which all have meaning, so when I look up and see it, it will stop me from doing dreadful things again. I avert my eyes away from the wall, they slowly travel down to where my arms sit, as I glance at the fresh sore's and cuts that cover them, the air then turns thick, my breath gets caught in my throat and my eyes begin to sting, because this is my past. I tense my arms and lift my hand to touch the healing cut, I flinch at the contact because it stings like a bitch, and I curse at myself for being so stupid.

All of this happened before I was known, before I was famous, before I was me. I Sonny Monroe have a deep secret so dark so deep that it is colder than the darkest realms of space. It has lead me to do disgraceful things, it has made me think of horrific thoughts and it has made do crazy acts. For I was a- "Sonny love I'm home. Are you in your room" my mom lovingly calls. I'm glad she's back I have been dying to see her all day " yes I am, you can come in if you like" I answer back simply, not a few seconds later steps are heard across the hard wood floor, my mom's boots are slightly squeaking as she walks, I chuckle to myself.

The steps cannot be heard any more, I look up and I see my mom slowly popping her head around the corner, this makes me chuckle she looks so innocent and young, her brows furrow together for a second and confusion crosses her face, you can tell she is thinking "why is she chuckling at me?", I'm fully laughing at her now because she looks like a child that has been asked a question that they don't understand.

"What is so funny missy?" she asks as if she were a five year old girl who did not get the lollipop she wanted.

"Nothing" I reply. She then raises her brow and gives me that look of 'nothing' really? "You just know how to cheer me up mom" as soon as I said that a full blown smile appears on her face. Oh how that smile can light a room instantly.

"Come here" she replied cheekily as she holds her arms wide open for me. I run up and wrap my arms tightly around her, not wanting to let go. My mom is my hero and she helps me with my day to day problems, gosh she is so amazing I don't know how she does it. Her chin rests on top of my head this makes me feel warm in side for I am loved, thinking of this I begin to speak "mom I love you" it comes out just above a whisper but is filled with so much love.

"I love you too Sonny" she says as she pulls back from the hug too look in my eyes "and don't you ever forget that" love and pride filling her voice as she speaks.

"Now I have to go start dinner" her voice turn's childish and fills the air. I shake my head, oh how she can be sometimes, I look at clock the rests on the desk beside my bed, 6:15pm it reads yeah she better start cooking.

"Yeah you should because you need to get in the kitchen where you belong" I jokingly say her expression then turns into glare, her facial expression reads "oh how I loathe you".

"I'm just kidding" I begin to defend myself, I raise my hands up suggesting that I am in fact innocent, so maybe the death glare she was giving me would stop. Gosh if she stares any harder I am going to have a massive whole burning though my head, actually that may get these horrific thoughts on my mind.

"Sure you were Sonny, sure you were" she answered cockily as she walked out the lovely forest brown door. As she left her head was held as if she were royalty and she had a strut in her step like she was queen of the world. Oh mother!

"I was" my voice rose at this, ah crap she is going to think that I was being serious. Come on she has got to think I was joking, like I would ever say that to her.

All I heard was an "Uh huh" that did not sound very convinced with my answer. Damn my stupid denial voice, I was not lying.

I might as well have a shower whilst she cooks dinner. I start walking to the big rustic door that leads to my bathroom, a lovely sign hangs on a nail it says 'Bathroom' simple but lovely, my feet are sinking in to the incredibly plush black carpet, oh god how it makes my feet feel. As I open the door the aroma instantly changes. The Lush soap gives of a very pungent smell that fills my nostrils, fresh and fruity, I love that soap.

My bathroom is quite simple but very modern a lot of people would properly expect me to have bright colours just like my supposed personality but I like to keep things simple and calm because it is basically my get away home away from home sort of. The colour is a lovely blue it does not over power the white tiles that lay on the floor, they inter mix beautifully. I walk in more taking in the simplistic beauty. I look at myself in the mirror closely, my eyes are worn and face tired "well you have been working all day", whoa voice in my head, "you do talk to yourself a lot" "shut up". Why did I just do that?

I slip my clothes of slowly for I am bruised and cut and I really don't want touch one of my sore spots because it stings like hell. I open wet room doors to have a long soak.

Nobody's POV

20 minutes later

Sonny opened the wet room doors she was more relaxed and refreshed her big Sonny smile spread across her face; she grabbed two towels one for her hair and one for her body. She wrapped the soft cotton towel around her body it had recently been washed and felt like the finest silk to her skin, this made her sign deeply how she loved the simple things.

As she walked back in to her bedroom her feet were once greeted by the soft carpet. She looked around her room, it was simple black and white with a massive picture of New York above her bed, a flat screen TV up on the wall, many pictures of her and Lucy, her dad and mum and her cast, also the signed picture of the one and only CDC sat on her night stand and of course how could she forget about her beloved guitar in the corner of the room, she shook her head chuckling and fell on the bed back words.

She just led on her simple bed with her eyes shut thinking about the better times in her life rather than her worst. She started to hum the familiar tune and was bobbing her head to it; she adores her music so much, but that came to an end all too soon when she was called for dinner.

She jumped up slipped on her on her sweats with a plain white tee and tied her hair back in a simple pony tail.

Sonny POV

Ah just sitting here and enjoying the peace and quiet I love it! "Sonny dinner is done, come get it" my mom hollers from the kitchen. Damn it I was enjoying myself but my tummy grumbles in response telling me I'm hungry so I jump up and slip my clothes on and tie my hair back.

I take a look at the picture of me and my father that hangs on the wall, we are both so happy and having the time of our life, it was the really hot summer of 2001 and we had went to the park that day. My eyes start filling with tears it's too painful. The memories of that night start flooding back, the blood curdling screams coming from my father and me and the repeated braking of flower pots and pictures. Tears are fully streaming my face, but I wipe them of quickly and put on my fake smile. I'm not an actress for nothing.

I walk out into the hallway, I can smell food my tummy grumbles again, it smells like mama Monroe's chicken lasagne, that is what my cast calls my mom, mama Monroe. I'm in the living room now and the smell of the freshly cooked dinner dominates the air and in response my tummy grumbles even harder. "Oh my freaking gosh, get something to eat!" Why is there are voice in my head, who are you? "You, jackass".

"Sonny are you okay, you have been standing like that for a few minutes now" my mom asks with concern in her voice.

"Yeah I'm just arguing with myself" I reply causally as if it were a day to day thing. I now look at my mom and her face says it all 'sure you're okay'. "I am okay "my voice rising as I say it, damn my voice again.

My mom smugly replies with "I didn't say anything".

"Yeah but your face said it all!"

"Now come and sit down at eat dinner" my mom said. I went over to the sofa and sat down, low and behold she had cooked chicken lasagne my favourite. I picked up the tray and set it on my lap and dug into my delicious meal.

"So how was work?" I asked my mom."It was good Jill and Darren had their baby" arww Jill and Darren had a child, they are an old family friend of ours and are the most awesomest people you could ever have the chance to meet.

"Really was it a boy or girl?" I asked getting all excited. "Well he was a beautiful little boy, named Teddy". I love that name Teddy.

We chatted for ages and joked about as if we were best friends until she asked the questioned, that changed the mood in an instants and made me feel like crap.