Kurt and Kitty sat on the couch. Kurt suddenly turned to Kitty."Say, Kitty, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure!" Kitty said, turning to face the blue mutant.
"Well...you know Magneto?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well...he's a jew...and you're a jew."
"Right?" Kitty raised her eyebrow.
"You're both Jewish."
"Yeah."
"Are you two related?"
"WHAT! KURT! I'm like totally surprised at you! I find that totally racist!"
"Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!"
"Well,
it's a like touchy subject. No, not all Jews are like related. What are
like you trying say, huh? That we all look the like same to you? Huh,
huh, huh?" Kitty jumped up.
"No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist." Kurt pouted and looked down.
"I should totally say so. You should be much more like careful when you're talking about the like sensitive subject of race"
"Well, look who's talking!" Kurt jumped up.
"What do you mean?"
"What about that special church you told me about?"
"The synagogue, what about it?"
"Could I go there?"
"No! We don't want people like YOU there-"
"You see!"
KURT:You're a little bit racist.
KITTY:Well, you're a little bit too.
KURT:I guess we're both a little bit racist.
KITTY:Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...
KURT:But I guess it's true.
KITTY:Between me and you,
I think
BOTH:Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.
KURT:Now not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from -
KITTY:No!
KURT:No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
KITTY:Right!
BOTH:Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!
KURT:All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
KITTY:Okay.
KURT:There's a plane going down and there's only one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...
KITTY:And a black guy!
EVAN:Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kitty?
KITTY:Uh...
EVAN:You were telling a black joke!
KURT:Well, sure, Evan, but lots of people tell black jokes.
EVAN:I don't.
KURT:Well, of course you don't - you're black!
But I bet you tell French jokes, right?
EVAN:Well, sure I do. Those stupid French!
KURT:Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
EVAN:Well, damn, I guess you're right
KITTY:You're a little bit racist.
EVAN:Well, you're a little bit too.
KURT:We're all a little bit racist.
EVAN:I think that I would Have to agree with you.
KURT/KITTY:We're glad you do.
EVAN:It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -
All right!
KITTY:All right!
KURT:All right!
KURT:All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white
ALL:If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.
KITTY:Oh, Christ do I feel good.
EVAN:Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
KITTY:Who?
EVAN:Jesus Christ.
KURT:But, Evan, Jesus was white.
EVAN:No, Jesus was black.
KURT:No, Jesus was white.
EVAN:No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-
KITTY:Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!
They all laugh. Bobby enters
BOBBY:Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
EVAN:Racism!
BOBBY:Cool!
JUBILEE:BOBBY! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!
KURT:What does that mean?
BOBBY:Um, recyclables.
Hey, don't laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?
KITTY:Oh, come off it, Bobby!
Everyone's a little bit racist.
BOBBY:I'm not.
KURT:Oh no?
BOBBY:Nope!
How many Oriental girlfriends
Have you got?
JUBILEE:What? Bobby!
KURT:Bobby, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!
JUBILEE:I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!
BOBBY:I'm sorry, honey, I love you.
JUBILEE:And I love you.
BOBBY:But you're racist, too.
JUBILEE:Yes, I know.
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power.
And I'm always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!
KURT:Me too!
KITTY:Me too!
EVAN:I can't even get a taxi!
ALL:Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!
They stop singing and frown. Bobby and Jubilee were
down infront of the coffee table, each on one knee, Kurt standing on
the coffee table, legs apart, arms spread wide and Kitty and Evan on
the sofa, Kitty with one leg up at the side and Evan holding her leg
with one arm, the other in the air, Kittys arms in the air also.
"What the hell was that?" Bobby asked standing up.
"Evan, can you let go of my leg?" Kitty asked and Evan nodded, blushing slightly, letting her leg go down.
"We never speak of this again." Jubilee said in a hushed voice and the other 4 nodded.
R&R!