Ok. Well. Someone sent me an e-mail that was all like "What is up with this load of bull about buying Kyo, Hatori, and Yuki off e-bay? Do you really expect someone to buy that load of bull?" And that made me mad! I really did buy them off e-bay! And now, just to prove it, I am going to tell you the whole story in excruciating detail!
Yuki: Oh boy…
Ha'ri: Here we go again…
Kyo: Not again, Kotec…
Kotec: What's wrong with me telling the readers how you all came into my possession and about our first mishap?
Yuki: It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't tell just about everyone you meet this story.
Kotec: But… I…like…telling…this…story…
Ha'ri: Well, don't!
Kotec: Ha'ri, you're so mean! begins to sob
Kyo: Hatori, why the freaking hell did you have to make Kotec cry?
Yuki: Now she'll never stop!
Kotec: I'll stop sniffle if you let me tell sniffle the story.
Ha'ri: NO!
Kotec: Starts crying even louder
Kyo: Just let her tell the damn thing!
Yuki: Please, for the sake of our hearing!
Ha'ri: …I hate this story…
Kotec: Does that mean I can tell it!
Ha'ri: …Yes…
Kotec: Yay! See Momiji? I told you fake crying always works!
Momiji: Wow Kotec, I ought to try that on Tohru so she'll hug me!
Kotec: Ok! You go do that now! I have a story to tell!
Kyo: Just get on with the damn thing!
Kotec: Ok! Well, it all started one fateful day…
Tohru: What day was it?
Kotec: … I'm not exactly sure…I just know it was fateful… anyway…
Momiji: Where was I on this fateful day?
Kotec: …um, making out with Tohru in Kyo's closet!
Tohru: No one was supposed to know that…
Kotec: Hey, I remember what day it was! It was a week after Christmas, when my grandparents from Georgia sent me 3,000 bucks! I was all like, COOL!
Kisa: Is this a true story?
Kotec: Did you not read the beginning! What, do you people think I can just make this stuff up off the top of my head!
Hiro: Are you saying that you have no imagination? Are you saying that not a single original goes through your head? I hate people who can't even-
Kotec: And Hiro was making out with Akito because no one else loves him!
Hiro: I WAS NOT!
Kyo: Me think he doth protest too much.
Shigure: Where was I?
Kotec: You were bought off e-bay by high school super models!
Shigure: Really!
Kotec: Yes, remember, you got to stand in the changing room and tell them which bikini looked better on them?
Shigure: Oh yeah! I loved that! They used to play 'Barbie Girl' in the background and would pretend that they were walking down the runway!
Kotec: What ever happened to them?
Shigure: Their boyfriends sold me on e-bay again. Only, I was bought by Ayame!
Ayame: I now own Shigure!
Kotec: That's…
Shigure: Lucky?
Ayame: An honor?
Kotec: No. Actually, the word I'm looking for is disturbing.
Ayame: Kotec, can I buy my brother from you!
Yuki: Hides behind Kotec, whimpering in terror
Kotec: Um…no…that's ok…I'm quite content with owning your brother.
Yuki: Thank God!
Ayame: I'll throw in a free dress that has black cat ears and a black cat tail and the dress is black!
Kotec: Begins pushing Yuki towards Ayame KITTY CAT!
Yuki: You know, you could always just let Kotec keep me, and give her the dress that you did such a good job making without bribing her.
Kotec: Stops pushing Yuki He's right.
Ayame: Oh…Ok! This way my brother and Kyo can have fantasies about you!
Kotec: Please excuse me while I change into my cat costume real quick. Runs off to change
Haru: Hello.
Tohru: Hi Haru-chan! Why are you here?
Haru: I'm here to fill the silent void that would have otherwise been left until Kotec comes back.
Tohru: Oh…
Haru: So, to fill that void, I am going to reveal a secret to you all.
Tohru: Yay! I get to learn another secret!
Haru: It's about Great Teacher Mayuko!
Kyo: This ought to be good.
Haru: Great Teacher Mayuko likes-
Kotec: I'm back! How do I look?
Sohma boys: Stare and drool
Kotec: Aww, thank you!
Tohru: Kotec, I thought you were going to tell us that story…
Kotec: Oh yeah. Ok. So, it happened that fateful day that I had 3,000 bucks. Instead of being a normal teenager and going to the mall, I went on e-bay. That's where I found Kyo, Yuki, and Ha'ri for sale! I guess Akito got sick of having them around. SO, I paid 2,500 for the three guy and-
Tohru: what about the other 500 dollars?
Kotec: I was getting to that! Anyways, I spent the other 500 dollars on anime.
Kyo: still gawking Kotec, will you be my Kotec?
Kotec: I am your Kotec! That's why my pen name's Kyo's Kotec!
Kagura: KYOOOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOOOOOOOOOOU?
Kotec: Because I have a secret to tell you.
Kagura: Really? What!
Kotec: Your one-sided love for Kyo has officially become even more pointless.
Kagura: HOW CAN YOU BE SO MEEEEEEEEEAN?
Kotec: Because Kyo loves me.
Kagura: What makes you think that?
Kotec: The fact that I'm the all powerful Authoress who has made him fall in love with me.
Kagura: You're not all powerful!
Kotec: Yes I am! Watch! I'll make lightning strike my little brother!
lightning hits the evil one whose name we shall not speak
Kagura: Wow!
Kotec: Told you! Now, I ,as the all powerful Authoress, command you to fall in love with Hiro!
Kagura: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRO CHAN, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!
Hiro: HELP ME!
Kotec: Nyahahahahahahaha! Now, back to the story. So, I had to go to the airport to pick up my newly bought guys and we wound up getting lost for six hours so I got to ride Kitty back most the way!
Ayame: Wow! That was the greatest story ever, Kotec!
Kotec: Wait 'til you hear about our first mishap!
Shigure: OH! Does it involve Kyo being your dirty little secret!
Kotec: O.O
Shigure: Answer me! I must know!
Kotec: I'm sorry. I was stunned by the stupidity of your question! No it did not involve anything along those lines! That was yours and Aya's first mishap!
Shigure: Oh yeah! Aya, you're still my dirty little secret, right?
Ayame: Of course, Gure-san! I won't let you sleep tonight!
Kotec: HELP ME!
Kyo: I'll save you, Kotec!
Kotec: I don't think any amount of therapy can remove those images…
Tohru: O.O
Momiji: O.O
Kotec: Well, anyways ppl that's how I bought my Sohma boys off e-bay. Next chapter I'll tell you about our first mishap!