Title: Grief and Relief
Author: Kate1013
Category: Vignette
Rating: K+ PG
Spoiler: Meridian, Revelations and through to Redemption (1&2)
Summary: Daniels dead, Teal'c is just Teal'c, Sam is pissed and Jack? He just sticks his head in the sand...
Disclaimer: All characters are not mine which is damn unfortunate....

Author's comment: I was actually in the middle of writing something else when this came up and just overtook me. Was thinking of maybe continuing with some other chapters, but who knows, we'll see.... oh and this is not beta'd so apologies for any mistakes.

---------------------------------------

It was three in the morning when he heard the knock on his front door. He wasn't surprised. He should have been, but he wasn't. He rose from the couch, beer bottle still in his hand and opened the door.

"I couldn't sleep," she said, as if that makes it alright to be standing on his front porch in the middle of the night. Her eyes were red and he knew that she'd been crying, and although she came here for some comfort, for some reason she couldn't bare for him to see her tear stained face. "You got another one of those?" she asked, looking away and nodding at the bottle in his hand. Not waiting for an answer, she pushed passed him and headed for the kitchen.

Jack heard the fridge door open, the clink of glass, and then the door close again. Within moments she had joined him on the couch, beer swigging down her throat and her eyes staring blankly at the images coming from the muted TV.

"You shouldn't be here, Carter," he said, not looking at her.

"I know," She whispered, "But everything keeps playing over and over in my head and you..." He could hear the quiver in her voice, "And you won't talk to me so what am I supposed to do?"

He was unsure what it was in her voice that made him meet her gaze, and when he did Jack wished he hadn't. The turmoil she was going through was clear for all to see, and he... he just couldn't bear to see it anymore. Sighing, he got up from the couch.

"Jack don't!"

He hadn't intended to respond but the pure mention of his first name knocked him off guard. She knew how to throw a punch - even a non-physical one. "Don't what?!" He cried back, spinning round to face her. She'd followed him off the couch and now stood a few feet away in front of him.

"Keep running away!"

"From what exactly?!"

"From Daniel!"

Jack winced. "Oh for crying out loud, Carter!"

"What?! He's dead Jack! The sooner you-"

"Daniel is not dead! How many times do I have to tell you that?!"

"You think it makes it any different that he's ascended? He's still gone!"

"No!" Astounded by the volume of his own voice and the eyes that stared back at him, Jack lowered his tone and stared at the floor. "He'll be back... it's what Daniel does..."

His whispers faded out and he stood there motionless for a moment. Beer had splashed onto his hand from his wild gestures and he felt droplets drip from his fingers and onto the floor.

The sound of movement caused him to look up. Sam had shuffled forwards a few paces until she was standing mere inches from his feet. "You may be able to kid everyone else, including yourself, but you'll never be able to convince me that this doesn't hurt you..."

She'd gone back to whispering again and Jack briefly closed his eyes. He didn't know how to tell her, how to explain what he'd seen; what Daniel had said; that he was at peace and happy now. How he'd already said goodbye.

When he opened his eyes again, Jack could see the watery blue orbs staring back at him. He knew in that instant, that he needed to say something, anything, but his words got stuck in his throat and all that came out was a strangled cry. He coughed to cover it up and swallowed the lump in his throat, hoping she wouldn't notice the tears prickling in his eyes.

"He already said goodbye." His voice was barely audible and he watched as Sam craned her head in order to hear. She'd read his report, heard General Hammond's take on the situation, but she still hadn't got Jack to talk to her about it face to face. "He came to visit me... before," Jack waved his hand in the air in some sort of upwards motion. "Told me everything was going to be okay – that he was looking forward to living a new life up there...What was I supposed to do? Make him stop? Make him... Die in that way?"

Sam shook her head, and scrunched up her eyes. "And why you?" She said, and for a moment Jack thought she was upset that Daniel hadn't chosen her. After all she was the one having the most difficulty with it. She was the one who'd cried and spent hours wandering around in his lab, while he'd simply tried to go on with business as usual. But it was the strength in her voice when she spoke that made him second guess her. "Why do you think he came to you?"

Jack wasn't sure if it was a rhetorical question or not, but he didn't have an answer anyway.

"Because he knew you'd have the most difficulty dealing with all this," Sam carried on. "He knew that you'd just shut us all out and not deal with it – "

"Hey, I'm dealing with it, okay?" But his voice was softer this time, no longer angry.

"Then why couldn't you just tell me? Talk to me about it when I asked you to, instead of pushing me away?" Her voice had been strong to begin with, but the quivers had started creeping in again and Jack couldn't help but cringe as she continued. "How do you expect me to grieve when you won't accept that he's gone?"

And with that statement, tears escaped from her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. She reached up a hand to wipe them away, but Jack caught her arm in mid air. She titled her head to give him a look, but he sent it away with his hard stare.

"C'mere," was all he whispered, and tugged on her arm, pulling her towards him.

Sam fell into his embrace with a mixture of grief and relief. Her arms found their way around his back while his just cocooned her to his chest.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into her ear. Her sobs simply wracked through them both in response. Jack just held her tighter and rubbed his hands up and down her back.

He didn't know how long they stood like that, wrapped in each other's arms. But he did know that by the time her cries had subsided, her own shoulder was drenched in tears of his own.

---

Sun was streaming through the blinds when Jack awoke the following morning. His eyes stung and his chest felt heavy, like he was unable to move. He blinked several times, the room gradually coming into focus. It was then he realised he was on his couch in the living room and that weight on his chest had a head of blonde hair that was tickling his chin.

He stared at the top of Sam's head for a few moments, trying to rouse himself. She lay curled up on top of him, their legs entwined further down the couch, and his hands resting on her back. Jack could feel the heat radiate through her t-shirt; the gentle rise and fall of her lungs; it was all somehow a comfort he never thought he'd experience outside of stargate missions or military command.

Although the thought of staying like this forever would make him die a happy man, Jack knew he should get up. He really should get up. Military issues aside, he didn't like to think what Sam would do if she woke to see him staring at her like that.

He lifted her arms up from his chest and shifted slightly to his left. Her hips slipped to the right and Jack angled his own so that the rest of her body would follow them onto the cushions below. He pulled out a spare cushion and lowered her head onto it before creeping out into the kitchen. He automatically switched on the kettle and pulled some mugs from the cupboard before heading for the back door.

Pausing in the doorway, Jack took a deep breath and glanced out at the back garden. It was late. Well later than he normally rose in the morning anyway. From the position of the sun in the sky, Jack stabbed a guess that it must be at least 10 or 11am. But despite the bright sky and lack of clouds, there was a crispness in the air, and Jack felt a chill run through him as a gust of wind circled where he stood.

That was until a warm hand claimed his back.

He looked down at his companion as she moved round to his side. She held a small smile and Jack allowed it to spread to his own lips. Something was different. Emotions had shifted and been rearranged. And despite the troubles he knew they would bring, Jack found himself liking this new place they'd found themselves in. It was warm, easy, and so incredibly tension free.

Her smile spread into a grin, and Jack suddenly realised he'd been staring at Sam this whole time and she hadn't even moved.

"Coffee?" He asked, as the kettle whistled behind them.

Sam nodded and reluctantly dropped her hand to allow him to move. "Are you going to cook me breakfast?" She asked with a slight leer in her voice.

As she shut the door and followed him into the kitchen, Jack simply threw a grin over his shoulder. Daniel, he thought, I owe you big time...