By Lady Trunks
AN: Song fic to Vertical Horizon's Best I Ever Had. Told from Pietro's POV. The lyrics won't really come together until the end. Thanks to the girls at RH for giving thier opinions and a special thanks to Roguechere for beta-ing (even though I *didn't* ask her to ^_^). And for those that are interested the Silver Caress database is up and running so you can upload your Rietro fics now. Address in my profile.
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
It was a habit, nothing more. Really it was just something to pass the time doing, until he had something better to do. Because, more than anything, he hated wasting time. At least that was what he was quick to reassure himself with. He was not sure exactly when it had become a habit, though. The first time it had happened had merely been an accident.
He had been out running, trying to burn off some of the extra energy that always seemed to be pent up inside, making it nearly impossible to fall asleep. The route was not anything special; just one he often found himself taking because it tended to be deserted. He was almost passed the lake when he noticed the person sitting under the sagging branches of the weeping willow in front of it. It would have been easy to overlook her, since she almost seemed to make herself blend into her surroundings in the gathering darkness caused by the sun slowly sinking into the horizon. As it was he did not recognize her for a few seconds, until a stray stream of light glinted off the small streak of white in her hair, immediately providing recognition.
His first thought was to bug her, maybe even push her in the water. She was, after all, the enemy. But he took a second to gaze at the small silhouette, sitting so still with her knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them as if looking for anything to hang on to. He had not even realized what he was going to do until he found himself sitting beside her on the ground. Neither said a word for the longest time, and he was not even sure if she had noticed him or not. Then out of the silence she said in a low tone, barely more than a whisper. "It's beautiful."
"Yeah." Was his agreement, no louder than hers had been. And that was it, not another word was spoken. Both remained silent, sitting completely still until the sun had completely sunk into the horizon when she silently rose to her feet and started walking home in the direction of the mansion. He waited until she was completely out of sight before he too rose to his feet and made his own journey home. And that night, when he laid down in bed, for the first time in memory he fell right to sleep.
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now
The next night his feet led him to the same spot, almost on thier own accord. The whole time he was telling himself that it was stupid, and that she probably would not even be there. However, when he got to the spot he once again found her curled underneath the tree, staring out over the water and once again he joined her.
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
It became an almost nightly ritual, and each time neither one of them said anything. Then over time they began talking. Inconsequential stuff at first; the weather, what was happening at school, and complaining about their respective teammates. But then as the weeks turned into months they began to open up more about themselves; their 'evil' parents, their own feelings of inadequacy, her problems with her powers and her hopelessness of ever finding a way to overcome them. And they both found something that they hadn't even known they needed, a friend. Someone who could relate with what they were going through and not judge them for it.
So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Then she did something to throw the carefully structured routine into disarray. Three simple words that turned everything upside down. "I love you." The words came out of nowhere, and they seemed to take her as much by surprise as they did him, but she did not take the words back. He searched desperately for something to say, and as if sensing his thoughts, she added, "I don't want you to say it back. Not unless you really mean it."
He wanted to tell her that it was not because he did not want too; it was because he could not. Caring about someone made you weak. It left you vulnerable. And he had learned the hard way that that just was not a position he wanted to be in. But instead he simply remained silent and she accepted it, returning back to silence.
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
And as if to prove that the whole thing was not something he needed, nothing more than a ritual that he performed because he had nothing else to do (whether he was trying to prove it to himself or her was debatable) he began purposely avoiding their spot. He would go out with a different girl every night and stay out well passed the time when he knew she would have left their spot and returned to the mansion. And if he found himself resenting the plastic females he was with, it had nothing to do with her. He was just raising his standards. And if when he went to bed he found himself tossing and turning well into the night, it was from restless energy caused by his mutation, not guilt for betraying her.
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had
But eventually he could not stand it anymore and once again found himself returning to their spot. She was sitting there, as he knew she would be. She did not say anything when he rejoined her under the trees and they returned to the utter silence of when they had first begun their ritual. Only this time as she was leaving she once again said the words to him. And this time instead of letting them panic him, he just silently accepted it and watched her walk away.
And so their ritual altered slightly, and every night she would say it, and every night he would remain silent. But even though he could not return the words he took solace in them, finally having someone love him despite everything.
And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right
Then one day she did not say it. He paid no heed to the fact, simply thinking that she had forgotten. But then the next night she once again left without saying the three words and he began to wonder. Then the night came when she did not bother to show up at all and he became worried. Was it possible that her feelings had changed? Had she found someone else?
Not being able to wait for an answer, he took off to where he knew he would find her. He was outside the gates of the institute within minutes, and without breaking a sweat was over the gate and past the defenses before they could register him being there. He easily located her room, having watched and mocked Lance when he tried to serenade Kitty at the window when the girls had shared a room. It was a bit trickier getting enough speed built up to scale the wall to the balcony outside her room, but he managed without too much difficulty.
With a small smirk at his own greatness, he pushed aside the curtains that were blowing in the breeze from the open doors and began to enter the room. A small sound coming from inside halted him. Moving much more cautiously then before he eased open the curtains and stopped short at the sight before him. Laying out on the bed curled up in a small ball she lay, her arms wrapped around herself sobbing the deeps sobs that could only come from someone completely miserable. The site made his heart wrench, and for the first time he noticed how fragile she appeared. She always seemed so strong, as if she could handle anything. But now she looked as if she was broken. He wanted to go to her and offer her whatever comfort he could, but instead he did what he always did. He ran.
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
He continued running until his legs felt weak underneath him and he sank to the ground. What was he doing? He had never lost his cool like this before. Why was seeing her cry affecting him so deeply? Maybe... Maybe he did love her. And as soon as the thought crossed his mind, it was as if a veil had been lifted from in front of his eyes. Of course he loved her. Despite all his effort not to, it had simply been unavoidable, like trying to stop the sun from setting. She was perfect, perfect for him that is. And he suddenly felt like the biggest fool in the world for not recognizing what should have been obvious, sooner. He had put her though all that pain unnecessarily. But he would make it up to her. He would tell her and he would do everything in his power to make it so she never had to cry again.
When he arrived at home he immediately fell into a deep sleep, the words that he would say to her tomorrow running through his head.
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted
The next day at school he anxiously searched for her among the crowd, and was disappointed not to see her among the masses. But he did not give it too much thought. After all, it appeared that none of the X-geeks were there, so maybe they had a mission saving a cat from a tree or something that involved their immediate attention. He would go over right after school and tell her. That decided he headed off to pretend to pay attention in class.
After school he ran to the mansion and easily bypassed the security system once again, and arrived at her balcony door. Pushing aside the curtains he was rather disappointed to find the room completely empty. Shaking off the weird feeling he was getting seeing the empty room, he shrugged to himself deciding that he would have to do it the hard way after all. That decided he rushed down from the balcony and to the front door.
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
Ringing the doorbell he waited impatiently for someone to answer. After a minute with no answer, he pushed the bell again, this time holding it down for good measure. After what seemed like an eternity the door was eased open and he found himself staring into a pair of bloodshot brown eyes. He tried to place a name with the face, but couldn't for the life of him. He thought he remembered her shooting fireworks or something from her hands but he didn't know for sure. But it really did not matter, he was here for a reason.
"Is Rogue here?" He asked her, glancing into the mansion behind her, hoping to catch site of his love. He jerked back quickly in surprise when his words seemed to cause the girl to come apart and she began sobbing hysterically.
"Hey, chill." He said, gazing at her in fright. He was never good at dealing with hysterical females. He had learned early from his sister that they were unpredictable and you should be wary of them. "I just want to talk to her. Could you get her?" If anything his words made her sob even harder and he heard the sound of wheels on the linoleum as the Professor came to attempt to soothe his hysterical student. Seeing who was at the door, his eyes widened in surprise. "Mr. Maximoff. I do not know why you are here, but now is not a good time."
"Hey, man. I am just here to talk to Rogue. It will only take a minute." He said quickly, dodging in the hall before the door could be shut.
"I'm afraid that is impossible." The professor said in a tone that Pietro tried to recognize, but could not. It did not sound mad as much as... But that did not matter. What mattered was that he was trying to keep him from seeing Rogue and he had to tell her.
Before he could be stopped he took off down the hall, glancing in rooms. He saw that all of the students seemed to be gathered in what appeared to be a large living room, but not seeing Rogue he returned to his search, darting from one room to another throwing doors open and allowing them to close with a bang as each room turned up empty.
After he had checked each room, he returned to the living room surprised that the professor had not sent Wolverine to slice and dice him yet. Deciding not to worry about it, he entered the room and all eyes turned towards him. "Will someone please tell me where Rogue is?" He asked in exasperation. It was like pulling teeth with these people. To his shock his words seemed to have the same effect on these people as it did the girl at the door, and there was a lot of hysterical sobbing.
Realizing that something was definitely wrong, he looked for someone who could answer him. He immediately turned to Jean and Scott, since they tended to be the rational (and boring) ones of the group. To his surprise, Miss Perfect was looking far from perfect at the moment, sobbing in Scott's arms. The leader of the X-Men would not meet his gaze.
The professor finally spoke up, "Late last night..." His voice trailed off, and he cleared his throat before continuing. "Last night Rogue took her own life. She is dead."
His brain refused to process the information, rebelling against the words in angry protest. "No. I do not believe it." He said, shaking his head back and forth and backing away from them all.
The professor held up a peace of paper that was in his hand. Not knowing what else to do, he took it and read the words.
I cannot wait anymore.
Rogue
It slowly began to sink in and he felt his legs dissolve out from under him and he slipped to the floor. Without realizing or even caring, tears began to slip down his face. He had lost her.
The best I ever had
The best I ever...
__________________________
I had thought to write a sequel to this, but it just wouldn't mesh well. I think
I may eventually turn it into a much longer and more detailed fic, because there
was actually a lot more going on that I never really got into. Depends on response
and when I have the time. ^^ Anyways, opinions always welcome.
~LT