Title: Inside Mikado
Authoress: Seer M. Anno
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the incredible Sakuraga Mei. I own nothing but the story.
Rating: R
Pairing: mentions of Mikado Shirahane/Towa Aikawa, Kuon Aikawa/Nanao Shirahane
Summary: Mikado promises himself.
Genre: AU. Flangst.
Warning: Slash, possible OOCness, mentions of non-con.
A/N: Written for #platonichallenge, focusing on Nanao and Mikado (since I've done Hisa-Kuon, Hisa-Towa, and Kimiko-Nanao). AU from Warui Koto Bakkashite Gomenasai, Warui Ouji Demo Suki, and a bit on Mujihi series, based on my convo with fuufou. Hope you enjoy!
Inside Mikado
Seer M. Anno
Mikado Shirahane was angry.
He knew he was by the time he saw those peculiar blush on his boyfriend's cheeks, when he saw how glazed over Towa's eyes were, and how his older brother snickered at the sight from his place in the couch.
Nanao Shirahane was the cause of said anger. To be precise, Nanao Shirahane and his endless stock of alcohol. Towa, bless that poor soul of Mikado's dearly beloved, had a very low tolerance to alcohol, and would do funny things once he was drunk.
"What are you doing, Nii-san?"
"I heard drunkenness can help in relationships," Nanao answered easily, as if he were talking about weather. Between them, Towa eyed Mikado with glassy eyes and a lopsided grin.
Towa looked cute and absolutely edible, but it wasn't right. As much as Mikado wanted him, he didn't like alcohol and the way it was induced on Towa was just angering. Mikado was floored, and infuriated.
That was when he made a promise to himself.
"Nii-san, I'll ruin your path towards love."
Mikado Shirahane was disgusted.
Nanao had a weird habit since childhood: crawling into Mikado's bed at night. At first he never minded; Nanao had an insecurity issue, and his nightmares sometimes were too harsh. But after the incident of drunk Towa, he began to rethink his decision of letting his older brother here.
"I reckon you're angry?"
Angry was a serious understatement, but Mikado kept himself silent, his back facing Nanao. He could hear his low, hoarse laughter from behind him, and he wondered what kind of nightmare bothered Nanao's sleep this time.
"Can I ask you something?"
Mikado knew Nanao would never leave him alone if he didn't answer, so he did. "What is it, Nii-san?"
He could hear Nanao sigh in relief. "What would you do if someone you're in love with detests you?"
"Is that what's happening to you?" Mikado asked the wall. He could feel Nanao scooting closer, and the small tremors from him were bothering.
It disgusted him. This had been happening for several times, and Mikado had known the first reason being Nanao's senior, who had taken Nanao's virginity and trampled on it as if it were worthless. What disgusted Mikado was haven't you learned?
"Who is it, this time?" Mikado asked the wall once again. When Nanao tried to circle his arms around Mikado's waist, he had to suppress a shiver that rolled down his spine. He never minded this, why now?
Oh, yeah. Because Nanao Shirahane was a dumbass who never stopped loving someone who hated him.
"It's my junior... Kuon Aikawa."
Well, that shocked Mikado so much he turned his body so now he was facing his older brother. He remembered the coldness he'd got from Towa's older brother, the unmasked hatred he'd seen whenever he visited Towa. Surely Nanao wasn't that stupid?
"You'll never learn, Nii-san."
Nanao eyed him with an uncertain look, and Mikado had never felt so repulsed in his life.
Mikado Shirahane was still disgusted, even after four months since Nanao admitted his stupid liking towards Kuon Aikawa, above all people.
He was even more disgusted this time, if that was possible. He still couldn't get over the fact that Kuon Aikawa wanted to date his brother, and he doubted he would come around anytime soon.
When he came home earlier, he was greeted with silence. That wasn't surprising; his sister was rarely home in the afternoons, and Nanao surely still had classes.
What was weird was Towa was supposed to be here, waiting for him. Mikado had given him the key to open the gate, so he must've been waiting in the porch right now.
Except that he wasn't.
Confused, Mikado walked around the house, his hand holding his phone. No message from Towa; he didn't tell him if he'd be here late. So peculiar.
His confusion automatically turned into repulsion when he heard his older brother's voice from the bathroom... along with Towa's.
"Ah, no, er... Nanao-san—"
"Why don't you let your nii-san eat you up, hm, Towa-kun?"
Mikado shuddered with the image of his boyfriend and brother in the bathtub together. What the hell is inside Nii-san's head?
Even though he knew Nanao wouldn't do anything more than teasing, it was still maddening and disgusting for Mikado. Especially because Nanao was now dating Towa's older brother, who was famous for his possessiveness and brother complex.
He considered barging in himself and kicking Nanao out the tub, but anger and disgust clouded his logical mind—a rare occasion—and stopped him from doing so. Instead he leaned against the wall and pulled out his phone from his pocket.
Kuon Aikawa wouldn't like to pick up his younger brother this early, but Mikado knew there was nothing he could do.
Nanao Shirahane was sad and Mikado knew it.
His older sister cornered him after dinner, asking him where Nanao was.
"I don't know," Mikado replied curtly, preparing to go back to his room, but Kimiko Shirahane was having nothing of it.
"He's drinking, right?"
"Most probably."
"What's happening? He never does that since..." She trailed off, her eyes pensive. "Since he got together with that Aikawa guy."
Indeed he was. The horrible breakup that emerged right after Kuon barged into the bathroom still echoed in Mikado's mind.
"Nanao-san, what the hell?"
"I... I thought you're still in class."
What a wrong thing to say, Nii-san. "So this is what you do when I'm still in class."
Towa looked at Mikado in confusion as he silently stood and stepped out the bathtub. Mikado gave him a towel, and ushered him out the bathroom. Even from his room, Mikado still could hear Kuon's voice.
"Why did you do this, Nanao-san? And to Towa, above all people?"
Mikado heard a loud splash, indicating that Nanao had at least gone out from the tub.
"Aikawa, listen. He needs advice; he's not doing so well with Mikado—"
It was so unlike Nanao, looking for someone to blame, but Mikado could hear the desperation in his voice. It was enough to make him understand that Nanao would do anything to keep Aikawa. Yet, it was a crazy move, putting the blame on Towa, and not only because he was doing it in front of his overprotective brother. Mikado balled his fists in anger.
"I don't know, Nanao-san. I thought you're not what those rumours said."
Well, there's no use crying over spilled milk. Plus, the fact that Towa turned to Nanao to ask about his relationship with Mikado was just unimaginable. Mikado couldn't really blame Towa; Nanao, even without any intent of getting into Towa' pants, was really seductive.
When a still angry Kuon knocked Mikado's room, he'd been ready, even after stealing some kisses from his own boyfriend. Towa was oddly quiet as he walked home with his brother.
Now, that Mikado had succeeded in ruining his brother's path of love, he had to deal with a pang of regret that was rushing inside him. He was sure he could handle it.
"I'm sure he'll turn up later." Kimiko's words cut into Mikado's thoughts. "Now, go upstairs and study, Mikado."
Mikado nodded and so he went. He stopped in front of Nanao's room and made his way inside. On the nightstand was a photostrip of Nanao and Kuon, taken in a photobox. Mikado could never imagine Kuon Aikawa inside a photobox, but that was what he saw. Nanao was beaming at the camera in all the photos, and the last one he had Kuon's arms circled around him as he placed a peck on Kuon's cheek.
They looked so happy.
No, Mikado wasn't sad, not at all.
Mikado Shirahane still wasn't sad right now. Not even when Towa stared at him with a frown, something that looked so out of place for him.
"Ku-nii doesn't want me to come over to your house anymore," he said, sighing. "And I think I don't want to as well. Please understand, Mikado, it's important to me."
Mikado wanted to force him, to say that it wasn't his fault, to tell him that 'Ku-nii' should mind his own business, when he saw Towa's face. He was no expert in reading expressions, but he could see that Towa was serious. Making Towa sad was the last thing he had in mind.
"I understand." That was the least he could say.
"Thanks, Mikado!"
They continued to eat in silence, which was finally broken by Towa's oddly solemn voice.
"Ku-nii was really angry. You know, in the bathtub incident."
"He's still angry?" Even after a month?
"Yeah. He doesn't want anyone to bring up Nanao-san, and he keeps going home later than usual. Once, Hisa-nii had to pick him up from the café in the middle of the night!"
"I see."
Mikado never liked Kuon, and his revenge worked on Nanao. Not to mention he could still keep Towa by his side. So why wasn't he happy now?
"Mikado," Kimiko called later that evening, her eyes fixed at the glass in front of her. Mikado stared at her from his place across the dining table. Without Nanao around, again, it felt empty all of the sudden.
"Yes, Nee-san?"
"Do you remember when Nanao forced you to drink?"
"If you mean the main reason why I hate alcohol in the first place, yes." Mikado took his glass and gulped the entire water inside. He remembered it like it was yesterday.
Kimiko looked at him for a long time without saying anything. If only Mikado wasn't her little brother and used to it, he'd have crumbled right now.
She finally leaned back on her seat with a sigh. "Did he break up?"
That annoyed Mikado. "Haven't you notice, oh dear older sister?" he asked sarcastically.
Kimiko rolled her eyes. "Don't speak to me that way, Mikado. And to answer your question, yes, I have noticed. What makes me wonder is that whether he will go back to the way he was before or not."
Mikado couldn't really answer that. Nanao was famous for his one night stands with older men; and although it'd stopped since he began chasing Kuon, there might be a chance of him to do that again.
Shit. Mikado hadn't thought about that.
If Mikado wasn't sad earlier, he was sad now. Or was it fear he felt? He didn't have any idea.
"He wanted it," the man said hotly from the police's grip. "He kept asking for it!"
That man looked strangely like an older, crueler version of Kuon Aikawa, and Mikado understood why. He stepped forward and pointed at that man. "You sexually assaulted a drunk man."
"You can't put it that way! We were just having fun—"
"And you stabbed him when he didn't want to cooperate." A trembling Kimiko pushed herself forward as well, her eyes flashed dangerously. "Did he ask for it?"
Her voice was quiet, but Mikado knew she was bordering on hysterical, and he had to hold her from lashing out. The policeman apparently sensed this too, for he pushed the man to the chair nearby. The man began babbling and Mikado decided it was enough. He was escorting Kimiko out the police office when he heard the man shouted at them.
"Listen to me! He came to me, calling me with a name I don't know—Aizawa or something! He pulled me to the alley! He asked for it! Let me go! I'm innocent!"
Mikado Shirahane hated to admit this, but he was scared shitless.
Nanao was suffering from three stab wounds on the stomach, along with scars that came from some recent rough sexual intercourse. He was lucky that the wounds weren't deep enough to damage his internal organs, but he needed to be hospitalized for a while. Even though he would live, seeing him unconscious on that bed still scared Mikado.
Kimiko sent Mikado to school, for she thought he needed something to distract himself.
"Maybe seeing that weird Towa boy will make you feel better," she'd said. "After all, this entire fiasco isn't your fault, right?"
Yes, it is, but Mikado didn't dare to speak his mind.
"What is it, Mikado?" Towa tilted his head as he asked. They were eating together on the roof, as usual. "You're so quiet today."
"It's nothing." To cover up his uneasiness, he lifted Towa's chin and landed some kisses on his lips.
That went on for a while, until he felt Towa's hands pushing him away. "Towa?" he asked, baffled.
In his arms, Towa looked very solemn, and Mikado realized something bad was going to happen.
"Is it true that... you were the one who called Ku-nii... back then?"
Mikado knew better than to deny. "Yes."
"I can't believe you!" Towa jumped out from Mikado's arms, his eyes narrowing to slits. He was obviously furious, and Mikado knew he was screwed. "You know what? I just knew that... that Ku-nii dated Nanao-san! And I know you've known it much earlier than I have!"
Mikado stood as well, as calmly as possible. He even took his time to close his bento and straighten his jet black uniform. He didn't want to lose his composure in front of Towa, even though he'd realized that it was futile.
"Mikado, I don't understand why you did that," Towa said painfully, blush coloring his cheeks. "I... I'm stupid, Mikado, and you know that. I don't know how to make things right. Just please, fix this!"
Then he was gone. Mikado stared at Towa's back as he slammed open the door and disappeared downstairs. He sighed while gathering his books and bento before calmly walked downstairs.
This was even worse than his first argument with Towa about that part-time job. He knew Towa loved his brother more than he loved Mikado himself, and he knew he had to make things right.
"Yuki," he called his redheaded friend when he saw him in class. "Take over the meeting today. I need to go."
"Where are you going?"
"I need to talk to someone."
Mikado Shirahane rarely felt any fear, but he remembered the first time he felt like that.
It was when Nanao forced him to drink. He'd smuggled a bottle of sake and kept encouraging Mikado to drink it. Mikado couldn't really resist, for he wanted to as well, but he was scared. All Mikado could remember were his feet at the edge of the balcony and Kimiko shouting. She grabbed him before he could fall and break his neck, and he could see how scared she was.
"You could have died, Mikado."
Those words were enough to keep the eight-year-old Mikado out the reach of alcohol. But Nanao stayed. Mikado always knew his brother's life was more complicated, with those issues of his. Without their parents around and that kind of sister Kimiko was to him, Mikado didn't need to wonder why Nanao turned to alcohol and promiscuity.
"I heard you asked for me?"
The café where Kuon Aikawa worked in wasn't crowded, most probably because the school hours hadn't yet finished. Mikado suddenly felt nervousness crept into his insides, making his hands sweat.
So, this is nervousness.
The sound of Kuon pulling out the chair in front of him stopped Mikado's train of thoughts. "Aren't you supposed to be at school, Shirahane-kun?"
"Aren't you supposed to be at the university, Aikawa-san?"
Kuon narrowed his eyes at him, and Mikado knew where Towa learned that dangerous eye-narrowing stunt earlier.
"I don't have classes today," Kuon replied. He sounded cold, as usual, but Mikado found no trace of anger in there. "Why are you here?"
"I want to tell you about Nii-san." Better to get this over with.
Kuon's expression shifted and Mikado noticed that. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'd like to hear from Nanao-san anymore."
"You won't hear it from me again, but I apologize of what I've done. I was being foolish when I called you instead of solving it on my own."
"Shirahane-kun, I have a question."
Mikado only stared at him, waiting.
"Did you ask Towa to get into the tub with Nanao-san?"
That sounded so repulsive that Mikado had to flinch. "Of course not."
Kuon sighed. "He asked Towa in, I'm sure. That's the kind of person Nanao-san is."
Mikado nodded, remembering the numerous men Nanao had slept with before he met Kuon, and the one who had assaulted him yesterday. He frowned and Kuon had to tap the table to snap him out of his thoughts.
"You know we're over. I love him, but there's no way he can touch Towa like that. Nobody can."
Mikado wanted to snort, for he himself had done more than just 'touching Towa like that', but he refrained himself. That wasn't why he was here.
"I notice you still love him."
Kuon nodded, and Mikado remembered that this was why Nanao fell head over heels with him.
"I love his bluntness and honesty. He's very strong."
"Do you think you still can reconcile?"
Kuon blinked for the first time since he sat down. It was amazing for him to hold his stare for so long. "No. It's his fault, after all."
If Mikado was nervous earlier, he was scared now. He was going to tell him Nanao's recent condition when Kuon spoke again.
"But I think I can try."
"Aren't you angry at him?" Mikado couldn't help but to ask.
"Yes. But I need to stop him from hurting himself all over again. As much as I'm angry at him, he can't just slip away from me like that." Kuon stood and grabbed his apron. "Are you done?"
Now that Mikado's fear had lessened, he was more annoyed than scared to see this guy. "When does your shift end?"
Kuon glanced at the clock behind him. "In half an hour. Why do you ask?"
The younger between the two leaned against the chair and said, "I want you to see my brother, but I'd like to have a glass of lemon tea first, Waiter-san."
Mikado Shirahane wasn't sure if he was happy right now.
Nanao stayed in the hospital for eight days. When he went back home, Kuon was standing next to him, carrying his bags like a true gentleman. If only Mikado's stupid brother were a woman, they would have looked like a perfect picture of a romantic couple.
"Mikado, do you know Aikawa can't drive?"
Nanao was giggling— giggling!— as he said this and Mikado rolled his eyes, even though the darkness didn't let Nanao to see that gesture. They were lying face to face on Mikado's bed right now, as usual whenever Nanao needed his little brother. But this time, Mikado didn't really mind.
"They don't even own a car."
"Indeed," Nanao said, shifting a bit. The bandages around his stomach surely made things uncomfortable for him. It was good that the room was dark, save from the small lamp on his nightstand, so Mikado didn't have to see those. Probably Nanao was opening his pajama's buttons on purpose; to make him uneasy, to remind it was his fault.
"You know, I should hate you for what you did."
Mikado snorted. "That's awfully honest of you. Please continue that kind of act in the future."
"Aikawa is the best teacher in bluntness, I think." Nanao shifted again, and this time Mikado heard him groaning softly in pain.
"Nii-san, you shouldn't move too much." Mikado rolled so he was staring at the ceiling. "You shouldn't be here as well. The doctor doesn't want you to move too much. Go back to bed."
"Shush, baby brother," Nanao chided sarcastically. Mikado bristled; he never liked that silly nickname. "Please put yourself in the level of a servant while talking to me."
"Do you want me to send you flying?"
Nanao burst into laughter, but it was quickly changed to a moan of pain. "I was foolish, wasn't I? This is all my fault."
"Yes, it is."
"That's harsh."
"What?" Mikado sat up. "Do you expect me to just let that go? I know you won't do anything to Towa, but what you did was disgusting, to say the least."
"I know, I know. I went overboard. I'm sorry."
"But at least you got your boyfriend back."
Nanao moved, again, and this time Mikado could see his face. His older brother was smiling. "He gives me another chance. That extremely-possessive-with-brother-complex Kuon Aikawa."
"I hope you don't screw that up again."
Nanao's smile broadened. He looked so happy, which was so weird on him. "I wish so too. And you, servant brother of mine? How does it go with Aikawa-kun?"
"Thanks to your foolishness, he isn't speaking to me."
"He can be pretty stubborn, huh? That surely runs in the family," Nanao replied at Mikado's petulant tone. "Well, he went to see me once, in the hospital."
"Towa didn't tell me that."
"Well, you two aren't speaking to each other, after all. He asked me about you."
"Is that so?"
"Of course. All we both did was for your sake. He was going to ask you out, you know."
"I... I see." Mikado was genuinely surprised at that. Towa was really good at keeping quiet for something like this. "What did you tell him?"
"I suggested a place, he suggested another, and so you two will go on a date to a place we both agreed on. Simple as that. But there are two things you should do."
Mikado waited.
"Act surprised when he asks you out, and call me Onii-sama, like when we were kids."
"Please don't go and make up other people's childhood."
But when Towa cornered him on the next day, stuttering 'wanna hang out in the arcade this weekend?', Mikado felt so happy that he would like to grant his silly older brother's wish.
FIN.
A/N: Why is Mikado so hard to write *crying*
Hope you enjoyed your read!