A/N: I know there are enough how-to-kill-a-sue fics out there, but I just couldn't resist thinking up my own cruel and nasty ways for Sues to die. Gruesome deaths, they're sort of my thing.
So heres my own little MarySue attack. Just in time for Halloween!
And you should know – I toned down A LOT on the violence in this!

Hermione Granger ran up the stairs to the top floor as fast as she could. Getting to the top, she only gave herself a moment's respite, before hurrying away again down the corridor.

The halls were cold and empty, which was strange for a Monday evening. But this wasn't just any Monday evening. This was THE Monday evening. The day they had been preparing for, the day they had anticipated, worried about and feared.

It was the final battle.

Voldemort's forces were just outside the perimeter of the Hogwarts grounds, a writhing mass of dark creatures and things. Even the Death Eaters, once normal witches and wizards, had been so twisted by malice and hate, and unswerving loyalty to the Dark Lord, that they were little more than animals themselves.

But Hermione hadn't expected the final battle to be like this.

The Death Eaters had brought along an unlikely ally, which had sent the Light side, including the cool headed members of the Order, into a panic. They hadn't planned for it, and it was such a large advantage to Voldemort's force. It could be the thing to hit hard enough on the Wizarding world so that it won't be able to repair itself, not like last time.

When they had first started arriving, many in the army of aurors and ex-students couldn't believe what they were witnessing. They had come in such a large swarm, sweeping through to join the Dark Lords forces, and there were more adding to their numbers every moment. Their sheer force of numbers stuck fear into the hearts of the brave defenders of Hogwarts. But those wizards fighting for a free world in which each person was treated fairly stood their ground. Although just barely.

It was hard to not run at the sight of a mob of glitter, makeup, and blinding beauty. Mostly daughters of Snape and Voldemort, there were also long-lost friends of the Marauders, illigimate children, and forlorn mothers.

Hogwarts was under attacked by MarySues.

Coming to the Headmasters office, Hermione slowed her pace and tried to regain her composure. No need to burst in all flustered – the battle hadn't even started yet. She knocked three times quickly and walked in without waiting for a response. Dumbledore's office had been redecorated to resemble a war room; his gadgets gone, large tables set out covered in maps and books, and the lighting dimmed. It was no longer a cheerful room representing Dumbledore's quirky personality; it was there for convenience and necessity.

Several of the large group of people inside looked up as she came in, and a few nodded in acknowledgement. Hermione smiled weakly at her friends Ron and Harry, and came up to the Headmaster.

"Madam Pomfrey says that the hospital wing is ready sir, as much as it can be. Using the supplies we have, we can accommodate maybe 200 people, just."

Dumbledore looked strained.

"Good. Miss Granger if you don't have any other tasks might I ask you to inform Severus that the Minister for Magic will not be joining us?"

"Of course headmaster."

The defending force had set up three main bases; the hospital wing, the owlery and Dumbledore's office. The hospital wing for obvious reasons and Dumbledore's office because the paintings could quickly and easily convey messages. And the owlery because it gave them a perfect look-out point. Snape was in the owlery.

Hermione hurried down another corridor, again noticing the unnatural silence around her. They had evacuated the students before dawn. The only ones staying behind were 17 or older, or part of the group who hid away in the room of requirement until it was too late to send them back. That group consisted of Harry's younger friends who felt they were too involved to just back out then.

Suddenly, there was a loud echoing clang to Hermione's left, and she swung around, her wand coming up, a shield charm already on her lips. Caught off guard, she stumbled, and hit the floor with an "oof!" There was a sharp pain in her left ankle, and she cried out. Looking around, she saw nothing, and hoped that her cry hadn't alerted whoever it was to her presence.

Rising to her feet slowly, she circled, eyeing the windows and the large hanging curtains.

Nothing.

Relaxing slightly, she straightened up, and started walking again, although this time it was more like hobbling.

But then glass of all the windows in the corridor suddenly smashed inwards, and Hermione had to dive away to avoid getting sliced. There were multiple bangs as figures swooped inside the broken windows. They weren't cloaked death eaters, as Hermione had been expecting, but much, much worse. It was the MarySues. Hermione's stomach plummeted in dread, as five girls ran towards her.

Battle-senses kicking into action, Hermione's wand fired out spell after spell, as she flicked it this way and that in complicated patterns, and in no time, three girls were on the floor unconscious.

There were shouts down the corridor, and Hermione was about to sigh in relief, it was probably aurors, when a spell hit the wall opposite the windows, and the stone just crumbled and started raining down, the size of huge boulders. Scrambling away, Hermione's knees were minced on the glass that carpeted the floor. Distracted by this, she didn't notice the Japanese girl until she was right on top of her. The Asian Sue's nails went straight for Hermione's face, and Hermione had to grab her wrists to hold her back, dropping her wand.

The Sues pink hair was messy and wild; she was a far sight from the composed woman of ten seconds ago. In her mindless rage, her amber eyes had turned black, glinting with madness.

Hermione grappled with her, growling as glass cut into her back, and kneed the Sue in the kidney. There was dust everywhere, and Hermione choked, giving the MarySue an advantage. She pulled out her oddly purple coloured wand, and Hermione was thrown across the corridor by the force of the blasting spell. The pain in her ankle worsened.

Just as the Sue was stalking up to her, Hermione heard a mans voice yell;

"FLAGRATE INCARCEROUS!" Ropes of flame wrapped around the Sue, who's glittering eyes widened in surprise. She fell to the floor, twitching, and Lupin came into Hermione's vision.

"Hermione?" There was concern in his voice as he came to check if she was okay. "You need to get out, there are too many of them. No one knows why the targeted this corridor or how they got in but –"

He was interrupted by a zap as another MarySue tried to free its captured comrade. Lupin's Piertotum locomotor sent two suits of armour running after that one, who merely pranced away, cackling. The sound of her voice gave Hermione the shivers – it was unnatural, unhuman.

"You finish this one, I'll go after her!" Lupin called as he ran away.

Hermione limped over the girl still wrapped in fiery rope, and realised how young she was. She couldn't be older than twelve! They were all so innocent, so … misunderstood. They shouldn't be lighting these girls, they should be helping them…

Hermione snapped out of it. Looking away from the MarySue hypnotic eyes, she pulled herself together. They were nothing like their appearance. They were vicious, wild, and destroyed everything they touched. Like many others, Hermione learnt early on in the battle that mercy did not play a part in it.

She killed the Sue quickly and efficiently.

Just as she was about to send a hex towards the MarySue attacking a green-robed auror, there was a roar, a loud grumble that made the walls themselves tremble. Then with a boom, Death Eaters apparated in the corridor. It quickly filled with smoke, adding to the dust, until it was impossible to see more than a few meters ahead.

Hermione dropped like a stone, choking down a cough. That would alert her to her location, and she was still without her wand. There was no way she could find it now, she had dropped it all the way down the corridor….

There was a flash of blazing red light very near where she was crouched, and she scampered away, pushing herself up against the wall, closing her eyes against the tears of panic. She had to get back to harry and Ron, had to get back to … anyone. This was too much to face alone.

Some instinct made her look around, and there to her left, just visible, was a long thin piece of wood. A wand. Huh, that'll do, Hermione thought.

Now, with a wand, her courage was renewed, and she figured that it would be safer outside – it wouldn't be smoky out there.

Hermione checked for traps along the way, the usual traps were bubblegum, a hair tie or two, but you always had to on the lookout nowadays. Their imaginations were stretching.

She had gotten to the Great Hall without running into anyone, which should have been an achievement, if it wasn't for Hermione's terror. She kept thinking – this next corner I turn, this will be my last. Her slight hesitation in entering the Great Hall was what saved her. Just as she was stepping forward, a green beam shot past so close to her she was sure it must have left a burning mark on her cheek. Freezing mid-step, she listened. There was a haggard breathing, and footsteps, someone was coming closer fast. She frantically moved out the way of the entrance, twirling, and tripping, landing on her backside.

A man strode out of the great hall – a Death Eater, and for a moment Hermione thought he would pass by without seeing her. But then he twitched, saw her, and they were dueling in a matter of moments.

"Scrupulosum!" She yelled, getting to her feet, and he deflected it easily with a shield charm. He grinned nastily, his yellow teeth showing, and with a blue (spark) there were daggers flying at her face. Hermione's wand snapped upwards and the daggers redirected themselves to something themselves into the high ceiling.

The Death Eater seemed surprised at her quick response, but recovered and fired spell after spell at her in quick succession, pressing her back until they were almost outside – the Entrance doors had been blasted open. Hermione distracted him with a huge lion made of lightening, and sent a tiny blade flying unnoticed towards his chest. He didn't see the dart until it was lodged above his heart, and he took one shuddering breath, before collapsing.

Panting, Hermione stepped over his body and outside. The wind was biting through her coat, and her fingers were numb around her wand. She gazed across the grounds, seeing a commotion over on the Quidditch pitch, and a group of people running past Hagrid's hut, dark figures in the night.

"Victas Morte." Hermione heard someone whisper, and she turned to see the glow of the Death Eaters last spell die out. Backing away slowly, there was a crunching, a grinding, and a horrible wailing. It was the image brought straight out of a worst nightmare – There were creatures emerging from the shadows, lurching and stumbling their way towards her. She ran for the Forest, she could loose them in the trees, or so she thought.

One of the figures by Hargid's hut had seen her, and was marching towards her. She made it to the edge of the Forest at the same time as Lucius Malfoy did.

"It's a cold night tonight Mudblood," he called, the malice in his voice evident. "Allow me to warm you up a bit."

She pressed her back to a tree, listening as hard as she could.

There was a fizzing noise, a chuckle, and then a whoosh. He had set fire to the Forbidden Forest!

Hermione tried to run back out of the forest, but he had set all of the first line of trees alight. Turning the other way, there was nothing but black, she was trapped. Eyes wild, hair singed, and skin tight against the heat, Hermione ran, ignoring the pain in her ankle, running from the fire, running towards a clear space, any space. Noises were everywhere, animals screeching, humans yelling, inferi moaning, and trees sizzling. There was smoke, so much of it, it filled her lungs, slowed her steps and defeated her hope.

"Erupio!" She croaked, to no avail.

Just as she was slowing, ready to give in to the blaze, she felt strong arms wrap around her.

"Wat'r yeh doin' yeh crazy woman!" Hagrid panted, running through the fire to get them to the other side. He put Hermione down, cursing, and she collapsed coughing. Hagrid was facing her, his back to the castle, and when she looked up at him, something caught her eyes to his right.

He saw where she was looking, and turned around, as she signed

"Oh, Hagrid…"

His hut was on fire, set alight by the now viciously burning forest. Someone was standing next to it, jumping up and down with glee. Bellatrix.

Hagrid was frozen, his face a mask, he couldn't seem to comprehend the situation. His hand twitched, and then his eyes filled with tears. There was a dying howl from fang, who had been locked inside, and Hagrid's hands formed fists, and he shook with barely restrained rage. Hermione stood up, and touched his arm, but he pulled away. He snapped, and with huge strides, followed the giggling Bellatrix towards the Quidditch pitch. She taunted him as she laughed, and he ran after her.

Hermione made to follow, but her path was blocked by someone standing suddenly quite close to her. She jumped; they had come up out of nowhere. At first she thought it was another MarySue, and whipped her wand out, but then she recognized the platinum blonde hair, the cocky stature…

"Malfoy." She spat at the youngest Malfoy.

"Mudblood." He replied with only half the amount of spite he usually had.

Swung her wand around her head, ready to curse him into hell and back, but he raised his arms hurriedly.

"Wait! I need your help!"

"Oh haha Malfoy, funny joke." Hermione said bitterly, wondering if she was delusional from inhaling too much smoke. Without realizing it, she had started crying, and Draco frowned in annoyance. The tears streamed down, and she was angry at herself, for showing emotion in front of him. Where were Harry and Ron? She needed them.

"I don't want to be here anymore than you do Granger," Draco was saying, "But I have to be, and I guess you do to. I need you to tell Snape that –"

"No! I won't tell anyone anything for you!" She interrupted, suddenly filling with anger. She was angry at herself, angry at Lupin for leaving her alone, angry at Bellatrix for destroying Hagrid's home, angry at Lucius… and here was his son, asking her for help.

"You foul little bastard!" She yelled, and screamed "Cruor Vomica!"

He deflected the spell, stepping back, and grumpily sent a spell to counter her next hex.

She attacked him, throwing every curse, hex and jinx she knew, plus the odd punch or kick. She was only half aware of the tears still falling, and of the fact that Draco was hardly even fighting back.

She was standing over him, ready to kick him in the mouth, when a high pitched voice screeched in her ear.

"Dnt tUch him u hore!" And then a MarySue slammed herself into Hermione, and they both hit the ground with a thud. All Hermione could see was a blurr of colour as several girls attacked her, and from what she could make out from their screams, she was in trouble for hurting their 'Slytherin Sex God'.

Shoving away a blonde girl who looked more like an animal then a young woman with her wild hair and evil eyes, Hermione saw Draco scamper off in the confusion.

"Bombarda!" Hermione shouted, and there was an explosion and limbs rained all over the place. Hermione tried to make a run for it, but ran into a girl, who didn't even cry out as she was tackled to the ground, her pretty little face a mask of surprise.

But it was useless, they must have called in backup because there were suddenly more Sues than Hermione could imagine converging on her. They stopped trying to rip her to pieces, and stood around her in a crowd, leaving her in a tight circle.

"Diffindo!" One of the girls was torn right in half by Hermione's spell, and the girls around her didn't even flinch.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Another girl was frozen, and again, her fellow Sue's didn't seem to notice or care.

"Stop!" Called a voice, clear and strong. A woman stepped into the circle, and Hermione immediately noticed that she wasn't like those other girls. She looked normal. The woman stepped right up to Hermione, who stood there, too shocked by her normalness to say anything.

"She want's to see you." The woman whispered.

Confused, but unable to fight back, Hermione's wand was taken away from her, and she was bustled away, to a part of the forest not yet in flames, to a small stone hut, much like Hagrid's.

A feeling of dread was rising up inside her, whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

She was taken inside, and fighting her captors, was dragged by the hair into a cathedral like chamber. Each wall was lined with MarySues – it was extremely hard for Hermione to keep her food down. And right at the end of the room, in a high backed throne, sat a MarySue. No, not a MarySue, THE MarySue.

She had long flowing hair that could be an ebony colour… it was so lovely, her parents probably named her for it. Her eyeliner was so thick, it looked like a mask, and her lips looked stained with blood. Her corset and fishnet leggings finished the outfit to affectively make it terrifying.

Hermione didn't know what to feel – she was filled with disgust, but there was also a forced admiration, for that thing of such terrible beauty. Its very existence went against the laws of nature, a creature like that shouldn't be alive – the damage it could do with such power!

Hermione, wide eyed, was brought to its feet. The woman's glittering rainbow eyes turned to the normal woman who had been the leader of the hoard which had captured Hermione.

"Thnx 4 bringin her Jane." She sang, in a voice that sounded like the ocean tide, which wasn't even possible. Jane? That's such a normal name! Hermione managed to think, why on earth would she work for these…. monsters. Hermione immediately hated that woman, whoever she was. She was a disgrace to wizards everywhere.

"Nao, Hermonie Grunger." The Queen Sue said. "We ave bin lookin 4 u."

Hermione, wanting to avoid saying anything they could use against her, blew a rasberry. In any other situation she would be disgusted at herself, it was such a childish thing to do. But it seemed to infuriate the MarySues standing along the wall, and Hermione was glad she did it.

Ignoring this, the Queen continued.

"Rly, u wer da only fing dat made uz join dis war." The woman leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees and watching Hermione carefully.

"How did you get inside the grounds?" Hermione gave in, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Ezy, u must b invited 2 be alowd thru DUmbldors barrier. And it iz almust imposible to refuze a MarySue." she declared proudly. Makes sense, Hermione thought, Barty Crouch Jr could get inside disguised as Moody because Dumbledore had invited him. Dumbledore... oh she hoped that Harry and Ron had stuck near him, hoped that they were safe.

"I can c dat u r finkin of ur friendz."

Something in the womans voice, some smug pride, made Hermione looked up sharply. "What have you done with them!?!"

"DOnt worree, they will be set free 1nce my girls are done with dem. Besides, we need thum 4 moar fanfics."

"Why are you here?" Hermione demanded.

"U c child, 4 so lung, our authors have Been wishin and wihsing…. But nevuh rlly ownin. Nao iz da time tO take whut shud be ours, wat we diserve moar den any others!"

"Hogwarts doesn't belong to you!"

"Oh buts it shud!" Cried the Queen, getting worked up, but managing to avoid messing up her hair. "WE r da 1s who luv it the Most! Who wud treat it who it shud be treatd! – worshipd!"

She sounded less like a Mary Sue every second, and more and more like the AUTHOR of a MarySue. Although it WAS very hard to tell the difference.

"You don't know anything about Hogwarts! You don't know it like we do, you just love what you IMAGINE it would be like – we love it however it is!"

The Queen of the Sue's squinted prettily at Hermione, assessing her.

"Ave u evuh considered…. Joinin our ranks Mizz Grangre?"

When Hermione spat at her feet, the woman's nose crinkled in slight distaste.

"Hm. 2 bad."

She gestured to the MarySues on the wall. "Well, I can tell shez not gunna change her mInd, destroy her."

Hermione Granger never made it back to the castle.

Her friends mourned her loss, and were never to know the true cause of her death, only that she was lost in the confusion of the final battle.

"Well," The Queen of the MarySues said hopefully, "Therez always Bella!"

A/N: seriously, it HURT me to write the speech for the Mary Sues. I had to write it normally first, and change it later – it took me a while to build up the courage.
Hahah this is what my dad said after reading this:
"Resistance is useless…" they droned through their smiling teeth as they advanced, treading unfeelingly on their fallen colleagues.
Think I could turn it into a sequel?