A/N: Konbanwaaa~ let's just say I'm procrastinating when I'm supposed to be writing up a giant bio lab ^_~ Anyway, here's the first chapter to a story I hope will be long and satisfying enough to those who read it. First chapter might be a little dull, but I promise it'll get better in time, so please R&R and let's hope what everyone has to say is something I can look forward too ^^ CHEERZ!
The great Orihara of Shinjuku.
The Heiwajima beast of Ikebukuro.
Two young men, well-known for what one could do with his mental strength and what the other could do with his physical counterpart.
With with their domineering abilities at first hand disposal, one would thinkthat such individuals were their own men, people who worked for their sole lonesome without having to take orders from the lowly human race; but today was one of those unfortunate days where Orihara Izaya sighed the mother of all sighs as his boss, Shiki, scolded him for botching another job just because he felt like running after a certain blonde instead.
WHAT?!It wasn't his fault was it?! He'd just been in Ikebukuro snitching what little information humanity had to offer him last week, when he'd suddenly been carried off his feet; flying a good three feet high arc in the air when the blonde brute had decided to interrupt the nice little conversation had been having with Mikado and his newly acquired girlfriend, Sonohara Anri - with a garbage can to the head.
Seriously, it wasn't like he'd asked the inhuman monster to come howling after him with a storm of vending machines and whatnot brewing above his head - he'd just been standing there, minding his own fucking business, being the sniffy informant he'd always been when that giant bulk of shit had come flying his way; how he hadn't seen it coming was still a mystery to him to this day - but he wrote it off as being preoccupied with how amusing it had been watching Anri glower the living daylights out of him as if she were trying to kill him with her eyes because she couldn't physically do so in front of her boyfriend.
... Though now that he was thinking the situation over, he was kinda asking for it when he'd first set foot in the idiot's territory anyway; the caveman had kinda told him to stay the hell out of Ikebukuro around a few ten thousand times... but hey! since when had Izaya ever listened to that pea-brained idiot?
A town and a few extra miles away, said certain pea-brained idiot wrinkled his nose, glaring through shattered tinted glasses of violet as his own boss reprimanded him for nearly killing a guy who'd been a month and three late for paying his fucking debt because he kept plundering his cash on drugs and one-nighter sluts and whatnot.
"Haaaaahhhh..."The two sighed loudly in their separate cities, almost unanimously - exasperation and mounting irritation becoming evident in their voices as they both mentally attempted to shut down the building urge of talking back to their bosses; in this case: Izaya back to Shiki and Shizuo back to Tom.
"HEY!" Shiki barked at his ace informant.
"Mou!"Izaya grouched back, yanking his blackberry away from his ear, wincing painfully at the ringing that was still left in his head.
"PAY ATTENTION DAMMIT!" His boss barked back.
"I was until you started YELLING!"The younger brunette retorted moodily, brow twitching when he caught sight Mairu, the megane (glasses) one of his twin sisters, sliding down his staircase railing armed with none other than his favorite switchblade.
Izaya twitched at the sight of it, momentarily letting whatever Shiki was saying go in through his right ear and pour straight out his left as he followed Mairu around with cold, judgmental orbs of ruby.
Fuck, that little monster had been in his room...
He considered yelling at her from where he was sitting behind his office desk, but let the thought slide when he remembered he was currently being scolded by a pissy Shiki - who in NO WAYwould take well to him suddenly shouting out at his damned twin sisters when they were in the middle of a business deal.
"...Shinra... That wimpy kid knows... Yellow scarves... Suspicious... glasses girl..." - the preoccupied brunette picked up a few fragments of what Shiki was worriedly muttering away about here and there as he watched with worried eyes as Mairu began flinging his knife around like a fucking toy.
"...think you can do it?" - Izaya narrowed his eyes - ignoring Shiki's inquiry and glaring pointedly at his little sister when she suddenly flung his switchblade up into the air, fingers slipping from the handle and - oh, thank god- Kururi caught it.
The tensed brunette huffed softly in relief, swallowing as he sat his jumpy ass back down into his chair only to gasp and fly back up when Kururi randomly flicked her arms, experimentally throwing the blade she'd just caught towards the glass barrier between Izaya's office and the city outside.
"My knife!" He yelped, dropping his phone and staring with horrified eyes at the shattered glass his precious weapon had crashed through for an agonizingly long minute as he came to terms with the fact that not only had his knife fallen out into the fucking sidewalk, but had fallen DOWN; on the people walking outside his building; as in, fallen in a way that may have also killed someone during its plummet to the concrete - though that would be pretty funny, Izaya had to admit as he mentally pictured the look of flabbergasted shock on the humans' precious little faces when they witnessed someone fall over after being stabbed in the head with a knife that had fallen from the heavens - his thoughts broke off when Mairu started laughing her ass off like some hopeless psych patient.
"Kururi!" He barked accusingly, turning back to glare at the quieter one of his middle school sisters while she just gave him nonchalant shrug, "I thought it wouldn't go through" she muttered dully, obviously referring to the glass wall behind her stricken brother, before turning and ambling off to the kitchen in search of food with a bouncy Mairu at her heels.
"ORIHARA IZAYA YOU USELESS DOUCHE!" - the brunette the two had left standing behind the desk twitched once more, feeling the tension that had been winding up since the morning ever since his twin sisters had some materialized out of basically nowherein his apartment - pressuring down on his empty stomach.
"MAN, I AM TRYING TO GIVE YOU A FUCKING JOB HERE - AND YOU'RE BUSY YELLING AT SOME DAMN IDIOTS?!"- he heard his boss howl indignantly over the phone as he collapsed back into his office chair with a final thud, reaching out with his foot to press down on the speaker option displayed on his phone so that he didn't have to bend down to pick it up.
"Well, I'm sorryfor having sisters capable of driving my brains to hell..." the irritated informant snarled uncharacteristically, keeping his eyes on the kitchen door - simply WAITING for the moment where smoke would start billowing out of the room because he knew well enough that chaos and catastrophe followed at his sisters' heels wherever they went, much like the way it did his own heels.
Family trait, maybe...?- he absentmindedly pondered over the thought, waiting patiently until Shiki decided that five minutes of yelling was scolding enough for an immature twenty-three year old.
"Now for the job" he huffed hoarsely through the voice he'd just wasted on yelling. "You listening this time asshole?" He inquired.
"I'm listening, dammit - hurry the fuck up" Izaya snapped back, his faint trademark smirk brightening his face as he heard Shiki grind his teeth over the phone in answer.
"Your doc pal Shinra just called me up spouting some shit about he just had to stitch up one of our men not two fucking hours ago" he declared darkly.
"So?" The brunette on the other end of the line scoffed, "you're the YAKUZA, you tend to get busted up a lot, you know? I'd think you'd have gotten used to this shit by now-"
"Except the guy who shot him was a bunch of yellow scarves, idiot" Shiki hissed seriously, making the younger frown and sit up - pulling his eyes away from the kitchen his sisters had invaded as he leaned down to snatch his phone off the floor.
True, the yellow scarves were violent little freaks of nature, but ever since their leader, Masaomi Kida, had left the city with Saki - the girl he was still the legal guardian of - they'd been out of order; as in disbanded... Mostly, anyway - as far as Izaya knew.
So, not only was the fact that these idiots were back in action fairly disturbing, the fact that gangs like them - the yellow scarves, the blue squares, the dollars - were only left surviving in a city infested with larger mafia groups because the three gangs knew better than to mess with them, also irked him.
They knew that they were only allowed to exist so long they didn't get in the way if the yakuza. Except shooting one of their men didn't exactly adhere to that agreement and taking the sitaution from a serious angle, another war might erupt in Ikebukuro depending on how important this wounded Yakuza guy was.
The last gang war had been between the blue squares and the yellow scarves - and the scuffle had caused quite the racket; but seeing as how the mafia would be involved this time...
Abruptly clearing his throat after running the facts over in his head, Izaya rolled his chair closer to the table he'd set his phone down on before speaking up.
"So?" He questioned, "who was the guy that idiot patched up?"
"My boss" the man on the other end of the line growled.
And Izaya groaned like he'd been punched in the stomach.
These knuckleheads had gone and shot the fucking big boss? What were they?! Bigger morons than that stupid brute?!
And here he'd thought Shizu-chan was the dumbest of the utter dumbest. Yet, with this the yellow scarves had just deemed themselves with the dumbass title of 'idiocy maximus.'
What was this? A new species of stupid humans? Did that mean Shizu-chan had bred or something with some other equally stupid woman? Because only children bred from dumb and dumber would be stupid enough to think that they could shoot the Yakuza top and get away with it.
Izaya rolled his eyes at the thought of it, before heaving a tired sigh and letting his gaze wander back to kitchen with the question of how it was possible that his twins had kept themselves civil in his kitchen for more than five minutes, on his mind.
"So?" He asked absentmindedly, "what do you want me to do?"
"That nerdy boy knows something" Shiki replied vaguely, making Izaya wrinkle his nose.
"Subtle, much?" He snorted skeptically, "do I have to remind you that more than half this damn city is made up of -?"
"Oh, for crap's sake, Izaya - that dork who was always hanging out with Masoami!" The elder snapped irritably.
"Mikado" the brunette put in unhelpfully.
"Yes, the kid with the air conditioning company name..."
"Ryuugamine..." Izaya grinned cheesily.
"Fucking SHUT YOUR TRAP AND GET SOME DAMN INFO ON MASAOMI FROM HIM, ORIHARA!"The yakuza yelled infuriatedly from his side.
"GOD! You're pissy!" Izaya yowled back, casting another worried glance to his kitchen - And GOD! the mere presence of his chaotic sisters within a twenty foot radius from him was doing a fucking number on his usually playful attitude...
"Fuck you - just get the info, idiot - you'll be paid loads" Shiki huffed gruffly, before snapping his phone shut while the tired brunette he'd been talking to scowled darkly at his phone before muttering irritably to himself as he locked the screen.
Sitting back in his chair, he pushed it back - shoving his feet against the floor - before getting up and eyeing the kitchen once more as he walked over to the couch to snatch his trademark fur coat off it.
"Mairu, Kururi - I'm going for a bit!" he called loudly as he slipped his arms through the parka, "think you can keep yourselves from blowing shit up?" - As if on cue, a sudden smoky blast of fire and smog exploded through the kitchen door followed up a minute later by a deafening crash which Izaya cringed painfully at.
"Iza-nii" Mairu stuck her head through the open kitchen doorway a minute later as the billowing smoke wafted above her head and out into the older brunette's precious apartment.
"I blew up your oven" she declared proudly with a Cheshire smile identical to the one Izaya himself wore when Shizu-chan came stampeding around town, while her poor brother slowly closed his eyes; gritting his teeth as he refrained from face palming and swearing up to the high heavens in front of the seventh grader.
"Just..." he breathed in deeply, eyes still pressed shut "control yourselves..." he exhaled; a loud, irritated sigh, "...please?" he added in a rare sincere voice that probably came out once every decade and usually only around these insufferable twin sister of his.
Mairu giggle in reply, calling back a "'Kaaay!'"as she disappeared back into the kitchen to join her twin. Behind her, Izaya sighed - hunching his shoulder as her wiggled into his coat, walking off to the door.
Not that he seriously believed Mairu and Kururi would somehow manage to control their violent streak; he'd just been hoping... And just like that; Just as he opened the slab of wood, one foot out of the doorway - he flinched.
Again.
When his sisters blew up what sadly sounded like his new microwave.
"KURU-NEE DID THAT!" He heard Mairu yell accusingly from inside the flat making the young informant roll his eyes as he simply ignored her, quietly stepping out the door and pointedly slamming it shut with more force than necessary.
... God, this unnecessarily fucked up life of his ...
How much more fucked up could it get past this? His sisters had already torn up his kitchen, lost his favorite switchblade and managed to get his boss pissier than an insulted Heiwajima Shizuo - all in under five fucking minutes.
It couldn't get much worse now could it?