I know I have no excuse for not updating my fics this summer and during this spring. Except the reason I haven't was I've been sort of battling depression this Summer so I was just not in the mood for writing, at all-not to mention that my cat has died recently and that really hasn't helped anything either. Just trying to explain why it's been dead basically! I have not forgotten my stories or abadoned them-I hope you guys understand! Again REALLY sorry.

And I know it's been forever basically. And I'm writing this new story to get inspired to update my old ones. I am really very sorry. So in a way I'm back from the dead! lol. This new story is to make up for the LONG break

the fight with Bobby, from trying to prove who he was had exhausted him. But now the only thing he was concerned with was finding out what happened to his brother.

"So Sam-"he started to say, his voice trailing off, unsure of what to ask.

"Oh he's alive," Bobby assured him and he sighed, closing his eyes in relief. "But..."

"But what?" Dean looked at him sharply. "What aren't you teling me, Bobby?"

Bobby's eyes searched for a window to stare at, rather than Dean's face.

"You're not going to like it," he said quietly.

"I don't care." Dean felt coldness run through him and swallowed, his voice feeling dry again.

"He's in a mental institution." Bobby was unable to continue and Dean blinked.

"What."He said it as a setence,not as a question.

Bobby repeated himself and Dean shook his head.

"I heard you." He steadied his breathing. "What...what happened?"

Bobby coughed and grabbed a bottle that was on top of the computer. With shaking hands he poured it into a dirt covered glass. Dean snatched it away quickly.

"I think you've had enough," he said, accusation in his eyes and voice. Bobby opened his mouth on instinct but the look in Dean's eyes warned him not to continue. instead he took in a sharp breath.

"I'm still trying to figure out what happened myself. I think something happened when Lilith blasted that white light onto him. He was in hysterics and became violent with me. But he had just lost you, so I was thinking he had some nervous breakdown. I managed to calm him down, and thought that was it. He seemed fine, well as fine as someone who had just lost his brother, who was going to hell, could be." He coughed again and Dean noticed his eyes were looking everywhere but him. "I thought that was it, but I was wrong. I kept on waking up to him having these strange fits. I told myself that whatever was happening I could handle it. That was my job, to keep him safe. That's what you would have wanted." Tears filled Bobby's eyes as he loked at Dean.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect him better."

Dean lowered his head

"Don't apologize, Bobby. You tried your best, I know you did." He kept his voice soft. So much for his theory that Sammy had made some sort of deal to get him out of hell.

"So...what got him into the mental hospital? I mean, what happened after those fits?"

"I blame myself for that. It was one of his better days. He wanted to go for a drive. I didn't want to upset him so I agreed. Worst mistake yet. Later I got a call from the hospital. I told them he was my nephew. They said he went to a bar and snapped when he was there. Started shouting about demons and monsters and about his brother being in hell. The cops came to lead him outside and that's when it happened?"

"What happened?" Fear lodged in Dean's throat.

"He accidently killed one of the cops." Bobby stared at him. "He was so out of control that they were forced to sedate him and take him to the hospital. The judge than declared him temporarily insanse." Tears trickled down his cheeks.

"And before I knew it," he whispered. "They had Sam locked up. There was no way I could have gotten him out." Bobby sighed finally.

"I'm so sorry Dean, I tried to take care of him. I really did." Bobby's voice cracked.

"I know you did," Dean murmured as he sat down, letting the news slowly sink in and wash over him, drowning him almost. His brother was in a mental hospital...He swallowed again, his throat was still dry.

"You all right?" Bobby finally dared to ask. Dean said nothing at first. He finally sighed and stood up.

"I want to see him."

Bobby stared at him.

"I'm not sure if that's wise, Dean."

"Why?" An edge was on Dean's voice.

"Because he thinks you're dead. It might raise some questions."

"Does he recoginze you?" Dean suddenly asked and Bobby frowned and lowered his eyes slowly.

"No."

"Than he probably won't recoginze me." It pained Dean into saying it, but he knew it was probably true. "We'll just say I'm his cousin."

"So you're my son than?"

Dean was taken momentarily by surprise, but he nodded and grinned.

"Guess so."

"Humph," Bobby grunted. "We don't really look alike."

"I'm seeing my brother Bobby," Dean warned. "With or without you."

"All right, all right, all right." Bobby rose to his feet. "Well go and see him."

Dean nodded, not realizing that he had been shaking. He took a swig of the whisky next to him.

"Let's go."

"We're gonna have to get you an ID first," Bobby added as he grabbed his torn jacket. Dean nodded, his mind still trying to grasp the concept that his brother had now snapped and was in a mental hospital.

"I suppose you want to drive?" A grin escaped from Bobby's mouth. Dean frowned, not understanding at first until he saw the Impala parked in front of them, looking like nothing had happened and like she was waiting for him. As he got in he realized he was worrying too much about Sam to truly enjoy driving again. But for Bobby he plastered on a smile. The keys felt strange in his hands as they scraped against his rather dry skin. He settled deep into the drivers seat and a sense of normality washed over him. Half expecting to see Sammy on the passengers end he looked at that direction, but instead he was greeted by Bobby nodding at his direction. That's when reality really struck home. They drove in silence as a lump formed in his throat.

"Dean," Bobby finally dared to ask. "Do you know what...how..."

"How I got out of hell?" Dean's knuckles tightened against the leather.

Bobby nodded.

"No.I thought maybe Sam did..."Dean's voice started to trail off. "But now that's out of the question, so no, I don't know."

Bobby nodded.

"We should find out why soon."

"I know, but first we see Sammy."

There was no other option in Dean's voice. It warned Bobby not to protest. Finally they arrived at the store.

"Let me do it," Bobby volunteered quickly. Dean slowly nodded. He kept his hands grited to the wheel as he looked around the empty car. His throat ached. It felt so empty. He felt like a strange in his own car. He swalllowed, fighting back tears.

"What am I supposed to do without you?" Sam's voice haunted him.

"Oh Sammy, what happened to you?" He whispered. He jumped when Bobby finally opened the door.

"That was fast."

Bobby smiled.

"The man inside owes me a few favors." He handed Dean the card. Dean felt strange seeing his own face again.

"Dean Springer," he said, trying it out.

"Something wrong with that last name?" Bobby asked, his eyebrows arched.

Dean grinned. It felt good to smile again.

"Nope, just testing it out, on how it sounds."

"Good,"Bobby grunted and strapped in his seatbelt. "Well than let's go see your brother."

Dean nodded, relief flooding him, relief at seeing his brother again. But terrified of what he'd see...

They drove in utter silence. Slowly Dean got out of the car and stared at the hospital building where Sam was apparently living at.

"He lives by himself, in his own room," Bobby told him. "He's only allowed out for therapy sessions. Other than that he's locked up by himself most of the time. They say he's too dangerous for other people to be around him."

"Too dangerous?" Dean stared at him. "Bobby this is SAM we are talking about."

"You don't know this Sam," Bobby said. "This Sam has snapped. Has become dark and violent. I've witnessed it."

As Bobby talked his voice trailed off to a memory of one of Sam's first fits.

Bobby groaned as he got up, a noise and woken him.

"What the..."He stumbled over a cord in the dark. "Sam?" Sam was sobbing in the other room. "Sam?" He pushed open the door and stared at Sam withering on the floor, his body slamming against the wall. Bobby stared, gaping, until he rushed forward and forced Sam's squirming body onto the floor. He struggled for control as Sam opened his mouth and let out a bloodcurdling scream. "Sam, what the hell?!"

"Bobby?" Dean snapped his fingers and Bobby blinked.

"What?"

"You spaced out," Dean told him.

"Oh...sorry." He looked into Dean's eyes. "Look Dean, I don't want you scared to see your own brother...I just want you to be prepared."

Dean swallowed.

"Okay, let's get on with it."

Bobby nodded and led him to the entrance of the drab looking building that laid in front of them. Dean was still trying to grasp the fact that Sam accidently killed someone and had apparently snapped somehow.

Quickly they walked to the front desk. The nurse behind it smiled.

"Hello Bobby, here to see Sam?"

Bobby nodded, Dean sensed that he was a regular visitor here. Good, at least Sammy wasn't alone.

"Who's this?" The nurse strained her neck to see Dean. Dean stiffened.

"This is my son. He just got back on a buisness trip. He'd like to see Sam."

Dean had forgotten what a smooth liar Bobby was.

"Can I see some ID?"

Quickly Dean showed her his. She looked at the two of them.

"You two don't look related."

"Everyone says that," Dean finally spoke up. "I look more like mom."

"It's true," Bobby quickly agreed. She frowned.

"I have to warn you...he's having one of those days."

Worry creased Bobby's face.

"What happened?"

"He was having one of his episodes. We had to give him some more drugs than usual. So he may not respond to you at all today."

Bobby nodded, this was probably for the best-though he saw the pain etched in Dean's eyes.

"We'd still really like to see him." She nodded and stood up as she grabbed a set of keys.

"All right, let's go."

Dean studied her. She was hot, and in another lifetime he'd be hitting on her already. But now he wasn't the least bit interested. He only cared about seeing Sammy.

His breath quickened at each step he took, as he was getting closer and closer to his paused at the door.

"You two ready?"

"Yeah." Bobby glanced at her. "Felicia, could we see him...unsupervised?"

She studied the both of them slowly and nodded.

"All right." She handed him the keys. "Hollar if you need anything."

Bobby nodded again.

"Well do."

He glanced at Dean.

"Ready?"

"Yup." Dean kept his eyes glued to the door. The door slowly pushed open and Dean stepped through wondering what the hell would greet him when he did...

Again I'm SOO sorry for my long abscense! But I'm back! And I'm really excited about this story!