No

Chapter One

Rick stares at the door, the door where just three years before she had sworn she only wanted him. How she begged for his forgiveness. Four years he fought for her. Four years he followed her and stood beside her. He watched her die five years ago. The shrill sound of the smoke alarm brought him out of his anger. "How where they suppose to be married, a couple, partners, if she constantly shut him out and jumped feet first into the rabbit hole that consumed her after her mother's death. He didn't believe Bracken knew Kate better than he did. Blindly he turns and flips the switches of the burner he'd lost his appetite for food the moment she walked out on him.

He wants to gets rip roarin drunk, but the look on her face if she found him like that stops him. He wasn't going to be his father-in-law. Granted Jim had a viable reason for drowning himself in the bottle, but Kate wasn't dead. She was just running, like she always does when she feels cornered. And how many times was she going to do that. And how many times was he going to go running after her. It's not that he hates his propensity to devotion. It's the metaphor that is usually associated with him running after her that he dislikes. He isn't a lost puppy, chasing down his owner. He is devoted and he loves her as much as he loves his mother and Alexis. It's just that why can she not have the same devotion to him.

On autopilot, he walks across the living room to his loft. Walking over to his desk, he pulls his phone from his pocket. He has no idea whom he's going to call or if even he wants to call anyone. He's not thinking about his writing or that she's his muse or how her walking out will affect Nikki and Rook. He simply wants to be back in his kitchen an hour before, cooking his wife a smorlette and maybe they would cuddle up on the couch together. He's not even thinking about sex. He just wants his wife back and the world to be bright again.

After the packed up her place, Kate had listed the apartment to be sublet. Fortunately the last tenant had moved out about a week ago. She knew the place was empty but she couldn't face going there. While there were mixed memories at the apartment for her and Rick, she just didn't want to go back there. She felt like she would be taking one giant step in reverse and that thought made her pause. Wasn't she already doing that, she left him. For no other reason than, she felt responsible for the deaths of her team because of the search she had done, looking to find her mother's killer. All of this ran through her mind as she rode the elevator down to the lobby.

Reaching for his phone, he thumbs across the screen and enters his pass code. Going into his settings, he finds the find my Iphone feature. He linked their accounts after he was found last fall. They talked about it and agreed that they needed to be able to find each other at anytime considering their line of work, or more Kate's line of work. Clicking on the screen he waits for the feature to search for her. He isn't strictly stalking her, he told himself. He simply wanted to make sure she was safe. It was because of this last case, that's why he was looking to see if his wife is still alive and in a safe place. He pushes the thought away that if she had stayed with him, he wouldn't have to do this. He would know she's safe because she would be right there beside him.

Finally the screen pops up and he stares at the screen. She's downstairs. She never left the building. Sitting back, he stares at the phone. When Keera left him, she went to England. She had wanted him to follow her. Was he going to do that again? Let the woman he loves leave because he is too proud to go after her. But then again, he has been going after Kate for eight years now. How much longer would he do that? Reaching for his rarely used home phone, he dials Kevin's number. For a moment he thought that maybe he should call Espo for this, but Ryan is always a little easier to convince to go outside the line of police protocol. And he could make Ryan trust him without too much explanation as to what is really going on and this would require some explanation. After a couple rings, Ryan picks up. "Hello." He says, in the background he can hear a lot of noise.

"Hey Ryan, it's me. Are you busy?" Rick says.

"No, just out with Javi, celebrating the end of this case. You and Beckett want to come join us."

Rick pauses for a moment but not long enough for Kevin to question the silence. "No, I think we'll stay in tonight." He says, hoping his voice sounds normal. And he assumes that it does because Kevin doesn't question him.

"Alright, that's cool. What did you need?" He pauses again. This time it's for a longer period. It's long enough for Kevin to question if the call dropped. He's about to check when Rick says. "I need to know if you would know or be able to find out what Dr. Burke's number is, his after hours number."

"Are you and Beck… the captain okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine." Rick sighs before he puts it all on him. "I want to talk to him about this case and…" He swallows. "…how Kate just left me in the dark. I'm still a little upset about that and…." He trails off.

"I don't know it right off the top of my head Castle. Can it wait till tomorrow?"

He glances at his phone. Her phone still shows that it's in the lobby. "Actually no, I need now."

"Alright, give me time and I'll call you back." Kevin says.

"Thanks Ryan." He says, still staring at his phone. He feels tears start to well up. Maybe he could save this marriage yet. "Just call this number when you call back." He says. He doesn't want to stop the app for any reason.

"Alright." Kevin says. "I'll call you back."

"Thanks again Ryan." Rick says before he hangs up.

Kevin looks at Javi. "Who was that?" Javi asks

"Castle, he needs me to find out some information for him. He said it can't wait till tomorrow."

"What kind of information?" Javi asks.

"I don't know that he would want me to tell you actually. Just hang out here and I'll be back." Kevin says as he stands up.

"Ryan…."

"I'll be back and we'll go another round." Kevin says, slipping past him and through the crowd hanging around the bar at the Old Haunt. Once he's outside, he moves out of the way of some people coming into the bar as he scrolls through his contacts until he finds the person he's looking for. Pushing the contact, he leans back against the building while he waits for his contact to answer.

After three rings, she picks up. "Hello?"

"Hallie, it's Kevin."

"Ryan, why are you calling me a nearly eleven o'clock at night?"

"I know it's a little late, but can you get some information for me. I need it for a friend actually."

"What do you need?"

"I need the emergency number for Dr. Burke."

"Dr Burke."

"It's for a friend."

"Are you sure? You're not in trouble are you?'

"No, I'm fine. Really it's for a friend." Kevin says. "So can you get the number?"

"I'm going to office. You're lucky you called now. I was on my way to bed and some nice relaxing alone time with a certain detective."

"How's Demming?"

"Oh, he's great, just finished a major case."

"Yeah, we did too."

"Heard about that one, your captain was involved. She's okay?"

"Yeah, she's good."

"Good. Alright, I'm logging in." Hallie says

"Can you text me that number?" He asks.

"Sure." She says, as she looks up the information. When she has it, she reaches for her cell phone and sends the text. "Alright, I just sent it." She says, as he hears his text notification come through.

"Thanks Hallie, Tell Demming I said hi."

"Will do, talk to you later Kevin."

"Sure." They hang up. Opening up his messages, he opens Hallie's text and then forwards it to Castle with a note. "Hey I know I said I'd call back but I thought this would be easier, got this from a contact at 1PP, didn't tell her who it was for. Are you sure you and the Captain are okay?" He sends the message and then goes back into the bar. Javi is still waiting for him. "Alright, this is the last round, I gotta get home to Jenny." Kevin says, walking up. Javi looks at him and then nods. They reset the dart board and Kevin goes first.

Ten minutes later, Rick is still sitting at his desk staring at his phone when he gets a text notification. Picking up the phone he reads the message that flashes. He grabs his home phone and quickly dials the number Kevin forwarded him before the screen goes black. After a couple rings, a very soft spoken man answers. "Hello, this is Dr. Burke." His tone is a bit hesitant.

"Dr. Burke, this is Richard Castle. I'm sorry to bother you this late. I'm not sure you know who…."

"You're Kate's husband. How is she? I heard that she made Captain of the 12th."

"That's true and I think she's in a bit of crisis Dr. Burke."

"What happened?"

"It's really a lot to get into over the phone. I know it's late but I was wondering if you could speak with us and emergency session if you will."

"Rick, I'm her doctor."

"I need you, please. Please, I'll pay you triple what 1PP pays you, just help me."

"I'll be in my office within the hour. Can you be there then?"

"We will be." Rick says, glancing at his phone. It still shows that her phone is in the lobby downstairs.

"I will see you both then."

"Thank you, Dr. Burke." He says, hanging up. Grabbing his cell phone, he walks to the door. He grabs his keys off the table. He slips into his pocket with his phone as he opens the door. "Mother." He says, coming up short.

"Hello darling." Martha says, as she looks up. Seeing his face for the first time, she stops. "Is everything okay?"

"Mother, I don't really have time to talk right now. I promise I'll explain everything to you as soon as I take care of this." He says, brushing past her.

Now that Kate's apartment was open, Rick had thought about asking her if she would mind letting Martha take it. It would give them more privacy. Alexis was still there, but her room was upstairs. And if he had to he would soundproof the ceiling between the upper and lower floors of the loft. He's thinking about that as he walks down the hall towards the elevators. He didn't think to stop and ask Martha if she saw Kate downstairs.

Pushing the button for the elevator, he steps back. Martha is still in the door way watching him and he's not his usual jovial or impatient self as he stands there. His head is bowed and his shoulders are slumped but look like they're full of tension as well. As the doors open, and he steps on, she slips back so that he won't catch her watching him. Something happened tonight and from the look on his face and how he looks at the elevator it was something bad. Pulling out her phone, she pulls up Kate's number and dials it.

In the lobby, Kate feels her phone going off in her pocket. She didn't want to talk to anybody so she ignores the call and lets it go to voicemail. She's sitting behind the security desk, next to Eduardo. She wouldn't let him call Rick to tell him that she was down there. She really meant to leave she is gathering her courage to actually walk through the doors to the street.

Impatiently, Rick is staring up at the ceiling of the elevator, watching the floors go by and hoping that the elevator doesn't stop on one of the lower floors. He didn't want to take the chance that in the time that the elevator stopped Kate would decide to leave. He releases the breath he's holding in a deep sigh when he reaches the lobby. As he steps off the elevator he catches Eduardo's eyes. He knows that's he's right, she didn't actually leave, which makes him feel just slightly better, but he's still angry that she would walk out in the first place, on top of the lying to him about the case.

She's halfway aware of Eduardo lifting the counter to let someone in to the security area. And she hears him whisper. "She wouldn't let me call you." Rick nods and Eduard slips out and walks quietly across the lobby. Rick clears his throat and the gets Kate's attention. She looks up. She feels a punch in her stomach, seeing him standing there. "I…."

"No, you don't get to say anything Kate. Come with me." Rick says, turning away from her.

"Come with you, Castle!"

"I'm not saying anything right now. Come on." He says, lifting the counter and stepping through. He stands to the side and waits for her to get up. She sits there for a moment, watching him. She wanted to argue with him to make him see it's best if… "Kate I will pick you up and I will carry you out." He says, staring at her.

Slowly she stands up. She walks over to him. He lets her go before him as he closes the counter. When they reach the door to the lobby, Eduardo opens it for them. Outside there's a cab waiting for them. Reaching into his pocket, Rick pulls out some cash and slips it into Eduardo's hand. Closing his hand around it, Rick looks the man in the eye and then opens the door on the cab for Kate. Once she's inside, he follows her closing the door behind them. Kate sucks in a breath when she hears the address. He hears her but doesn't acknowledge her reaction.