Rating: PG (language)
Couple: Cyanide/Skids
Summary: I'm not good at summaries but hmm... Cya admits his
feelings toward Skids *this has been done many a time before*
Disclaimer: These wonderful boys do not belong to me! They belong to
the goddess known as Sandra Delete!
~
Leave Me in Peace.
~
I love you.
There, I said it, I can't hide it any longer. I need you, want you, love you.
And sometimes I think you loves me too. But I'm scared, I've never felt this way
towards another man, or anyone for that matter. Sure I liked Ronnie, but it
wasn't the same. I didn't have this deep burning passion for her. I don't
want to say I used her, no, I would have never done that. But she was a
distraction, something to take my mind off of my true love.
You're so beautiful to me. I want to touch you, feel you, I need to satisfy my
desire with one simple kiss. That's all it would take to send me completely
over the edge. No, not as in climax, but to send me completely head over
heels in love with you. Sometimes I think I'm already that deep in the
depts of love, and it should be a wonderful feeling, but it's not. It's a horrible
feeling because I will never be sure if you love me unless I act on my
emotions.
Oh, I want to so bad, but like I said before I'm scared shitless over it. If I
confessed my love to you and you do not feel the same then I would die.
Our friendship would never be the same again. We would never have
those small tender moments that we have like a quick hug
here and there, the occasional short cuddles when we're to tired to care
that we're touching eachother in a sensual way, or the playful wrestling
matches that always send us into insane bouts of laughter. We would never
be able to do those things again.
It's not fair, I don't want to feel like this, but I can't help it. Life isn't fair as my
mother says. I'm supposed to be the hetero one dammit! Maybe I should
confess to you, I'll never know until I try. I feel like crying over this... but I can't
cry, I won't, I don't cry, and nothing will change that. I have to stay strong for my
family. It hurts so much though. I sigh, it is a sad sigh, a hopeless sigh.
I need some fresh air, maybe a walk will help clear my head.
It's cold outside so I grab a coat and slip it on before running outside.
I sigh once again and look up at the star filled night sky. It's beautiful,
almost as beautiful as you... I shake my head to clear my mind of such
thoughts, this walk was intended to clear my head, not to confuse me
even more then I already am. But my mind will not wander away
from the thought of you.
I walk aimlessly through the empty streets, not really noticing or caring where
I'm going. It doesn't matter too me. Why can't I forget you? Leave me
in peace for christ's sake! That's it, I've decided, I will tell you before
it eats me alive, it's already started nibbling at my senses.
Some how I end up on the door step of your dorm, how I got there I don't
remember. Well, here goes nothing. Hesitently I quietly knock on your
door, I hope you don't hear it, maybe I can put this off for another day,
but then I might loose my nerve.
You hear it.
Slowly your door opens just a crack so you can stick your head out too
see who's knocking at your door at this late hour. You look
exhausted. What are you thinking? Are you angry that I woke you up
from your blissful slumber? Or are you happy to see me. I haven't
talked to you in a few days, maybe you missed me... I hope you
missed me... Because I missed you.
Thank god, you smile brightly and open the door wide, ushering me
inside with one of your happy-go-lucky hellos. God I love the sound
of your voice. You never seem to be upset, but I know you will be
after you hear what I have to tell you tonight. You ask me what I'm doing
here, but it's not in an angry tone, it's in a friendly matter. You begin to
say something else but I cut you off. I have something important to
tell you I say and you go quiet. You stare at me expectantly, your
curiousity sparked.
I'm nervous, suddenly words escape me. How do I tell you? I hadn't
thought of that before? Should I be straight forward? Or skirt around
the subject until you finally figure out the true meaning of my conversation?
I decide to be straight forward. I mutter a quick "Iloveyou" but you don't
seem to hear it. Louder I say it . "I. Love. You." Your eyes light up
but then you frown. I wait expectantly for your answer, knowing it will be
nothing but a rejection. And then you say it. "I'm sorry... I don't feel the
same..." I turn away from you, this time not sure if I can hold back my
tears. I feel one slip from it's confines and run down my face. No!! I'm
not supposed to cry! But I can't stop it.
"I have to go now..." I quickly make my way to the door but you stop me
with a hand on my shoulder. "Don't touch me!" I want to scream, but
no words pass from my lips. And then you say: "But maybe in time
I can return your feelings. Don't leave me."
I gasp as you envelope me in your arms, hugging me from behind in a tender
embrace. Unable to stop myself I lean back against you, relishing in
the feel of your arms around me. "I don't want to force you into anything..."
"You aren't."
I sigh and nuzzle him. Finally I have set myself free and now I am in the
arms of my beloved. My Skids.
FIN.
Couple: Cyanide/Skids
Summary: I'm not good at summaries but hmm... Cya admits his
feelings toward Skids *this has been done many a time before*
Disclaimer: These wonderful boys do not belong to me! They belong to
the goddess known as Sandra Delete!
~
Leave Me in Peace.
~
I love you.
There, I said it, I can't hide it any longer. I need you, want you, love you.
And sometimes I think you loves me too. But I'm scared, I've never felt this way
towards another man, or anyone for that matter. Sure I liked Ronnie, but it
wasn't the same. I didn't have this deep burning passion for her. I don't
want to say I used her, no, I would have never done that. But she was a
distraction, something to take my mind off of my true love.
You're so beautiful to me. I want to touch you, feel you, I need to satisfy my
desire with one simple kiss. That's all it would take to send me completely
over the edge. No, not as in climax, but to send me completely head over
heels in love with you. Sometimes I think I'm already that deep in the
depts of love, and it should be a wonderful feeling, but it's not. It's a horrible
feeling because I will never be sure if you love me unless I act on my
emotions.
Oh, I want to so bad, but like I said before I'm scared shitless over it. If I
confessed my love to you and you do not feel the same then I would die.
Our friendship would never be the same again. We would never have
those small tender moments that we have like a quick hug
here and there, the occasional short cuddles when we're to tired to care
that we're touching eachother in a sensual way, or the playful wrestling
matches that always send us into insane bouts of laughter. We would never
be able to do those things again.
It's not fair, I don't want to feel like this, but I can't help it. Life isn't fair as my
mother says. I'm supposed to be the hetero one dammit! Maybe I should
confess to you, I'll never know until I try. I feel like crying over this... but I can't
cry, I won't, I don't cry, and nothing will change that. I have to stay strong for my
family. It hurts so much though. I sigh, it is a sad sigh, a hopeless sigh.
I need some fresh air, maybe a walk will help clear my head.
It's cold outside so I grab a coat and slip it on before running outside.
I sigh once again and look up at the star filled night sky. It's beautiful,
almost as beautiful as you... I shake my head to clear my mind of such
thoughts, this walk was intended to clear my head, not to confuse me
even more then I already am. But my mind will not wander away
from the thought of you.
I walk aimlessly through the empty streets, not really noticing or caring where
I'm going. It doesn't matter too me. Why can't I forget you? Leave me
in peace for christ's sake! That's it, I've decided, I will tell you before
it eats me alive, it's already started nibbling at my senses.
Some how I end up on the door step of your dorm, how I got there I don't
remember. Well, here goes nothing. Hesitently I quietly knock on your
door, I hope you don't hear it, maybe I can put this off for another day,
but then I might loose my nerve.
You hear it.
Slowly your door opens just a crack so you can stick your head out too
see who's knocking at your door at this late hour. You look
exhausted. What are you thinking? Are you angry that I woke you up
from your blissful slumber? Or are you happy to see me. I haven't
talked to you in a few days, maybe you missed me... I hope you
missed me... Because I missed you.
Thank god, you smile brightly and open the door wide, ushering me
inside with one of your happy-go-lucky hellos. God I love the sound
of your voice. You never seem to be upset, but I know you will be
after you hear what I have to tell you tonight. You ask me what I'm doing
here, but it's not in an angry tone, it's in a friendly matter. You begin to
say something else but I cut you off. I have something important to
tell you I say and you go quiet. You stare at me expectantly, your
curiousity sparked.
I'm nervous, suddenly words escape me. How do I tell you? I hadn't
thought of that before? Should I be straight forward? Or skirt around
the subject until you finally figure out the true meaning of my conversation?
I decide to be straight forward. I mutter a quick "Iloveyou" but you don't
seem to hear it. Louder I say it . "I. Love. You." Your eyes light up
but then you frown. I wait expectantly for your answer, knowing it will be
nothing but a rejection. And then you say it. "I'm sorry... I don't feel the
same..." I turn away from you, this time not sure if I can hold back my
tears. I feel one slip from it's confines and run down my face. No!! I'm
not supposed to cry! But I can't stop it.
"I have to go now..." I quickly make my way to the door but you stop me
with a hand on my shoulder. "Don't touch me!" I want to scream, but
no words pass from my lips. And then you say: "But maybe in time
I can return your feelings. Don't leave me."
I gasp as you envelope me in your arms, hugging me from behind in a tender
embrace. Unable to stop myself I lean back against you, relishing in
the feel of your arms around me. "I don't want to force you into anything..."
"You aren't."
I sigh and nuzzle him. Finally I have set myself free and now I am in the
arms of my beloved. My Skids.
FIN.