A/N: This is a pretty old one-shot I found when cleaning out some files on my computer. I apparently wrote it shortly after Snow-klahoma came out, although I don't think there's any big inconsistencies with canon since I tried to be as vague as possible with what direction the show's plot would take.

This story contains Heidi/Morgan and some Randy/Julian, although both ships are discussed more than shown.

Randy Cunningham was confused.

Howard Weinerman hadn't tried to take his lunch. Heck, it didn't even look like the redhead had touched his own!

Instead Howard was scowling at something in his lap, refusing to acknowledge Randy no matter what he did. The only sounds that came out of the sophomore's mouth were exasperated sighs and angry grunts, but whether they were directed at him or the mysterious object, Randy couldn't tell.

Why was Howard upset? The ninja wracked his brain for answers. Was it because he flirted with Julian earlier on their way to the cafeteria? Yes, he had promised his best friend that lunches were exclusive to just the two of them, but technically they weren't at lunch yet and the goth was the one that started it, not him-

"Oh, COME ON!"

"What's the matter?"

"THIS!" Howard slammed a yearbook onto the lunch table, his shout catching the attention of nearby students.

The book in question was opened to a page plastered with pictures of Heidi and Morgan. In the center was one large photograph taken of the two girls at prom. Heidi's head rested on Morgan's shoulder while the other girl's hand was wrapped around her waist. It was the only time Randy had ever seen a photo with the dancer smiling, even if said smile was rather small. Printed beneath it was 'Cutest Couple' in pink, flowing letters.

"What the juice?"

"I know right? This is so wonk!"

"How come they get a whole page?" Randy cried. Although if he thought about it, it did make sense. Both of the girls were insanely popular, Heidi especially because of her me-cast, so it was plausible the yearbook team would give them a lot of attention. But still.

"What-no, Cunningham! Why is that what you're focusing on?" Howard smacked the page with an open hand. "The whole them being a couple thing shouldn't even be in the yearbook!"

Randy had to hold back a laugh. Howard had never been happy with his sister dating his crush. "Dude, calm down, knowing Heidi it was going to happen somehow."

Heidi, though embarrassed at first, had quickly become very proud of her relationship as evidenced through her vlogs. For the first two weeks after they started dating interviews with Morgan and her team of dancers became much more frequent, along with coverage of their performances, but those finally dwindled down when Morgan made her annoyance clear.

Nowadays Morgan would occasionally make a guest appearance on the show, serving as an assistant hostess that commented dryly on whatever was happening. When she wasn't there, Heidi would sometimes excitedly report on something her girlfriend had done or gush over her whenever she thought appropriate.

Instead of getting upset or sick of it like Howard hoped they would, most of the students at Norrisville High loved seeing the two together. Of course many boys were disappointed at first, but they quickly got over it because as Bash eloquently put it, "Hot girl on hot girl's hot."

"They shouldn't be dating in the first place," Howard snapped. That earned a few gasps from those that were still listening in on their conversation. "It's not going to last! They'll probably break up by next month."

Randy smirked. "That's what you said six months ago."

Howard groaned in frustration. "So I was a bit off, but it's still gonna happen! They aren't right for each other, it's like trying to stick together a cat and a dog, or me and the school's chili! It might be fun at first but it's going to end up ugly!"

"Just like with me and Julian, right?"

Howard's frown deepened. "Dude, we're not going there."

"But you said the same thing when I told you we were dating."

After abandoning Julian and thus freeing an evil mirror version of him to wreak havoc on Norrisville, Randy had felt incredibly guilty. So guilty in fact that he started spending time with the goth after school without Howard because the redhead couldn't stand the guy. However, what had started off as only guilt and pity evolved into tolerance, then actual friendship, and finally romance.

The redhead sighed. "I know, but... ugh! Why'd you have to twist it around like that? You know I still don't like that freak but you have to go and make me feel like a total shoob over it!"

"Because you're acting like a shoob! You need to get over Morgan," Randy said.

"I am over her! I just don't want my sister dating her. There's a big difference, Cunningham." Seeing his friend's skeptical look, the redhead leaned across the table as if to emphasize his point. "There is! Think about it, if you and Lord Creepy broke up you'd be mad if…" Here Howard hesitated and turned a bit green, as if the thought of what he was going to say next was enough to make him sick. "If I started dating him, right?"

"Yeah, but you and Morgan were never a couple."

"There was tension!"

"Let it go, man!" Randy threw his hands up in the air in an overly dramatic manner. "She's not interested, she never was!"

Howard was seething at this point. "Fine, let's say she wasn't. But what about Heidi? The minute Morgan breaks her heart who do you think has to protect her in such an emotionally fragile state?"

Randy frowned. Was Howard talking about Heidi getting stanked? If so, there wasn't a problem. "The ninja?" He suggested hopefully.

"No, idiot! Me! I'm her brother, if somebody besides us makes her cry I have to 'teach them a lesson about respecting a young lady's feelings'." Howard's voice changed in pitch to match his father's. "I can't do that if it's a girl!"

Randy blinked, and then a huge grin broke out on his face. "That's it?"

"What do you mean that's it?"

"That's why you're upset? Because you can't touch Morgan if she breaks up with Heidi?"

Howard's only response was a scowl.

"Dude, that's actually kind of sweet," he laughed.

"Sweet? Sweet? There's nothing sweet about this-"

A load rumble echoed through the cafeteria. Both boys turned to see a stanked Bucky lifting a table over his head as he let out another roar. Students started to scream and run, Julian amongst them Randy noted with some relief, and soon enough the cafeteria was almost entirely deserted.

Randy pulled out the Ninja mask, but before he could put it on Howard grabbed him by the arm. "This talk's not over yet!"

"I know buddy, I know," Randy replied with a smile before pulling the mask on.