Howdy! :D ok, quick little blurb before we get started here…first story so bare with me, always open to reviews/ideas, opinions welcome yadda yadda. Disclamer: I soooo do not own any of Joss's characters, obviously noone here does lol. Strictly for fiction-fun Blah Blah Blah.
Reads like a Script, kinda easy to grasp. easiest way to make you visualize it without having to say as many things. not as creative i admit but its effective.
Okay enough of my voice…Lets hear someone elses that we all know and love :D ENJOY!
Checkout the opening Credits sequence for the series: www. youtube .com/watch?v=Oza2pVP4r1w
GILES (Voice Over)
Previously…on Buffy the Vampire Slayer
SUMMERS HOME - DAY
Buffy giving her speech to the Potentials and Scoobies
BUFFY
'In Every Generation, a slayer is born…' because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful, but this woman…
CUT TO: Willow with her silver hair and glowing aura looking skyward
BUFFY (V.O)
…Is more powerful then all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power…
CUT TO: Kennedy sitting up, smiling, embracing her new-given power
BUFFY (V.O)
…Should be our power.
CUT TO: Vi, Ronna, and Amanda close their eyes and breathe in with a start.
BUFFY (V.O.)
Slayers…every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?
PRINCIPALS OFFICE AT SUNNYDALE HIGH – DAY
Willow fades back to normal after awakening the slayers.
KENNEDY(amazed and proud)
You…are a Goddess.
WILLOW(smiling)
And you're a slayer.
HALLWAY AT SUNNYDALE HIGH - DAY
Bringers have made their way to the fight and are attacking Andrew. Anya fights them off, but there are too many. While she stabs one with her sword, another slices diagonally though her torso from behind, killing her.
HELLMOUTH - DAY
Spike gasps and stumbles backward away from the
fight as he clutches his chest, then his burned hand.
SPIKE
Oh, bollocks.
A bright blue light shoots up from the amulet, knocking a hole in the ceiling, going up through the floor of the Principal's office past Willow and through to the open sky. The light turns a warm orange color.
CUT TO: HELLMOUTH - DAY
BUFFY and SPIKE, holding hands.
BUFFY
(softly, looks into his eyes) I love you.
SPIKE
No, you don't. But thanks for saying it.
There's another earthquake; Buffy lets go of his hand.
SPIKE
Now go!
Buffy runs up the stairs.
SPIKE
I wanna see how it ends.
Spike stands in the crumbling hellmouth with light shining down on him from above, grinning from ear to ear and laughing as he burns up from the sunlight. He dusts slowly—first his skin singes, then his muscles, then his bones—then he's gone. The hellmouth crumbles in around him.
CUT TO:
SCHOOL BUS - DAY
Buffy is still staring at the canyon that once was Sunnydale. Dawn stands beside her, then Giles joins them, as do Xander, Willow, and Faith.
FAITH
Looks like the hellmouth is officially closed for business.
WILLOW
I can feel them Buffy, all over. Slayers are awakening everywhere.
FAITH
Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?
DAWN
Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?
As the others chatter around her, Buffy just stares straight ahead at the hole formerly known as Sunnydale. As she contemplates what's next, she smiles.
BLACK OUT
REFUGEE SHELTER – MORNING
Citizens of the late Sunnydale gather in an emergency refugee shelter after the apocalypse. Some are sleeping or talking, other are gathered around the few televisions spread about the facility.
NEWS ANCHOR
In other news, work is still taking place to help refugees from Sunnydale adjust and find new homes after the earthquake that left their city in nothing more then a crater. The effort is going smoothly with about half of the city finally being put back on their feet and relocated. Geologists are baffled as to how something like this could happen while its citizens say things in their area had been strange from its founding and only got worse in the months before the tragedy….
The anchors voice fades out as Buffy walks away from the television set and towards her friends sitting around the cots they chose. Xander is still asleep while Willow and Kennedy are having a conversation of their own. Faith is leaning against the wall seeming exhausted and frustrated, Giles is on the phone. Dawn looks up from her book as her sister approaches.
DAWN
Hey Buffy, everyone still think it was an earthquake?
BUFFY
Yep. Well everyone besides the potentials still here. They actually think its hilarious how people just peg a giant crater forming out of nowhere as just a good 'ol fashioned California rumbler.
FAITH
Hey I don't blame 'em! Back when I heard about this crap I started thinking everything was some bad guy coverup. I actually tried checkin' how the fricken dinosaurs actually kicked the bucket.
BUFFY
(sarcastic)You actually tried to learn something that didn't involve kicking someone?
FAITH
Ha Ha. Very clever B, least I don't sleep through hell like Captain Ahab over there. (motions to Xander) remind me how I got stuck with the bunk next to him? He snores like a damn lawnmower!
Faith throws a pillow at Xander hard enough to frighten him awake and knock him off of his cot. He gets up quickly and adjusts his eyepatch while looking around tiredly
XANDER
I'm up! Im up!
WILLOW
That's because we all know he snores like crazy. Why do ya think we stayed far away from his bunk?
FAITH
'Cuz you and the newbie wanted to get freaky and wanted to make sure Xander didn't get a peak at what he missed out on in Highschool?
XANDER(suddenly awake)
Woah woah woah. Willow and Kennedy are getting freaky! Theres like a thousand people in the room! Geeze Will…never pegged you for the kinky type.
KENNEDY
Oh please. Like we would do anything with that guy over by the pool table around. We would probably drive him off the deep end. Seriously, every time some hott girl walks by its soo obvious he notices. The fact he only wears boxers doesn't help the situation either. (she shivers)
WILLOW
Kennedy! (she playfully smacks her girlfriend)
KENNEDY
What? Its true! And everyone here was thinking it. (Buffy smacks Kennedy in the back of the head) OW! Hey what was that for?
BUFFY
For talking about the creeper by the pool table and getting freaky with my best friend around him with my little sister sitting five feet away from you! And you're a slayer now, man up.
Willow and Dawn both laugh while Faith and Xander tease Kennedy for being the only one in trouble.
KENNEDY
Oh comeon! Faith started it and Xander was the one talking about being kinky, why don't you smack them?
XANDER
Because I am a civilian. Therefore not allowed to be physically abused by a slayer, plus I've known her and Will longest so I get to tease them all I want, comes with the territory of being the comedic relief and sarcastic Scooby.
FAITH
And even though B won't admit it out loud, (motions to herself in a cocky manner) the new good-guy Faith is startin' to grow on her. She shows it by not smackin' me down.
BUFFY
Nah. I just feel sorry we stuck you by Xander and you've probably gotten like no sleep so if I smack you I could see you falling over or something.
Before Faith has the chance to respond Giles' voice raises to who he is on the phone with. The gang turns their attention to him as he finishes his conversation.
GILES(on the phone)
I don't care if you can not under stand her Andrew! Just get the girl on the plane and back to China! (He pauses as Andrew talks) God Man! How many times do I have to tell you, we did not stick you with the complicated jobs because of your 'Road to Redemption' Just make sure you give her the emergency phone in case she needs to contact me before I can get the council running again. Now get her on that flight before she misses it…AGAIN! (He hangs up quickly) Bloody Idiot. Will someone please explain why we kept that moron around!
DAWN
Because we can pretty much turn him into our slave if we say its for his redemption. Plus I kinda feel bad for him since he doesn't have anyone.
GILES
Well we better find him someone before he tries coming back to England with me to run the Council. (the group looks away from him with guilty eyes) Dear Lord! You have got to be kidding me! What did I ever do to you people that you would curse me with that bloody imbicile!
BUFFY
Well nothing, but think about what Dawnie said Giles, he could be like your slave! Plus if the rest of us are gonna find somewhere else to live together then we sure as hell don't want him under the same roof as us again!
WILLOW
Speaking of that…we kinda need to decide on some things. Kinda important things too.
DAWN
Like what? Don't we just need to find a town and a house big enough and the refugee people will give us some money to help settle in right?
WILLOW
Well yeah…but the pick a town part kinda has another question to it.
Everyone looks at her with a questioning gaze except for Faith who is looking unattentive thinking the conversation doesn't apply to her. Buffy looks away knowing the question and wanting to avoid it.
WILLOW
Oh comeon guys…I know I'm not the only one thinking it. (more silence) Or maybe I am.
XANDER
What are you talking about Will?
WILLOW
Do we still wanna be in the fight? You know. Good. Evil. We have all of our experience, and knowledge. It would almost be a waste to not atleast be somewhat a part of it anymore right? I mean we have Xander and Dawn who clearly can kick some bad guy booty, whatever the heck I am anymore because after that spell I'm not sure anymore, plus three slayers. (Faith's gaze shoots up) and one of them has just started her part in the fight and the other two are the originals.
FAITH
Hold up there Red, backup…I think I heard you say three slayers?
WILLOW
Well yeah. Buffy, Kennedy, and You (she points to each in order as she counts them)
FAITH
Hate to tell ya this Red, but I'm kinda supposed to be in prison ya know? After you guys got things settled I was gonna go back and finish my time. Get outta you guys' way and all that.
KENNEDY
Why? Whats a prison gonna do for you anymore? You kinda made it obvious you changed with the whole fighting for us and risking your life for us and all. Might as well pull an Andrew and try for hands on Redemption.
FAITH
Its not that easy shrimpy. Course your gonna say that, but…well you don't know the story of why I need that Redemption (She looks away ashamed) I just… The stuff I did…kinda got the feeling that I've overstayed my welcome.
Faith turns and walks away guiltily. The group looks at eachother shocked. Kennedy stands up to go apologize to her but Buffy stops her and gives her an assuring look and goes after Faith. She finds her standing by a window. She walks up to her but Faith doesn't look at her while she speaks, they both just look out the window
FAITH
Sorry B.
BUFFY
Why are you sorry? Kennedy is just like that, shes new to everything but tries not to act like it. But the Slaying, Scooby Gang, all of it is kinda crazy to take at once when you think about it. She was gonna come over here to apologize but I thought I should talk to you first—
FAITH
I don't just mean that Buffy! (Buffy is shocked by the use of her name as Faith turns around, almost in tears) I mean for everything! Damn…I tried to kill all of your friends, your mom, and I was this close to actually taking out Angel! I helped the stupid Mayor just 'cuz he acted like a dad to me. No one was ever like that to me, no one was ever nice to me except for him and you guys. I was just too damn stupid to see you guys bein' nice first and….after everything I did…its like you guys just forgot about it. At first I thought it was just the crazyness with Big Bad but…we've been here for like three weeks now and you haven't tossed me out on my ass like I deserve, or called the cops to have me dragged back to prison! I just don't get it…I don't deserve it.
BUFFY
Faith…(she hugs the other slayer, as she pulls back she is completely serious as she responds) Listen to me…the reason I haven't said anything is because you made up for it. Everything you did or almost did, you made up for it the day back in L.A. when you turned yourself in and went to prison willingly. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that sooner but…I forgive you Faith. Now if you even think for a second that your gonna get out of being stuck in the Good fight that sure as hell isn't over then you really are just too damn stupid and should go back to prison. (she smiles to show shes teasing)
FAITH
(smiles unsurely before responding) Thanks B. But listen to me… the second you don't want me around just tell me and I'll leave kay?
BUFFY
Fine. Deal, but I know I wont have to. You've changed Faith, and you proved it by saving Angle and then helping us. Now you just have to keep proving it. And if you ever think I am ever going to let you forget that you said my actual name you're crazy.
Faith laughs and pulls herself together as they walk back to the group where they see Willow meditating and everyone waiting patiently. Willows hands are hovering over a map of California and her hands begin to glow. Soon her entire body has a gentle aura glow and her hair begins to turn silver again. Xander and Giles quickly pull up a shade to hide her from the rest of the shelter while the map begins to glow with a gentle hum. The Glow slowly fades and her hair returns to normal. She lets out a sigh when back to normal and Kennedy puts an arm around her shoulder
KENNEDY (Smiling)
Check it out. My girlfriend's a Goddess.
WILLOW
Well I don't know about that (she blushes) but here (she motions to the map) every dot on this map represents an area with a noticeable amount of evil. The brighter it is then the more there is and vice versa. (she holds the map to Buffy and Faith) I say we let the original slayers pick what evil city they wanna be the saviors for this time (she smiles and winks at Faith who smiles back knowing she is welcome)
BUFFY
Are we sure we wanna actually do this again? Cant we just go to a city with no little light?( everyone is shocked by her remark) What! There's a ton of other people to fight for us…why cant we just let them do it! I'm sick of it, I've never had a choice and now I do.
XANDER
Yeah but Buff…its in your blood.
BUFFY
Then I'll get some dialysis or something and get over it! (she collects her thoughts knowing everyone is against her) Fine. Look you guys pick any town. I'm fine with it just don't expect me to fight the good fight. Call me when were ready to go I'm gonna start packing. (she walks off)
FAITH
(to break the silence) Well….anyways….So Red…uhh…what city is most like SunnyD? With the evil and nice town junk.
WILLOW
Well…there is a town almost exactly like it named Moonview. Apparantly they used to be sister towns back when California was first founded, about a weeks journey apart in those times. So about a three hour drive now adays. Its totally similar minus the hellmouth, even though it's the brightest dot on the map besides L.A., San Francisco and cities like that but those are giant cities and Moonview is just a suburban place like Sunnydale.
DAWN
Sounds like home to me!
FAITH
Good deal! Hey can ya set us up with some of that endless Council cash you found G?
GILES
(as he cleans his glasses) Shouldn't be a problem
FAITH
Good deal. Hey Red its your turn for a Heart to Heart with Blondie. We all know I'll screw it up, and after what she just did for me….well…I don't wanna do that.
WILLOW
Yeah sure, I'm on it. Why don't you and Kennedy go out back and spar or something? You both are getting a little stir crazy—I can feel it.
FAITH
Not gonna lie Red…creepy with the whole feelin' my slayer side stuff.
KENNEDY
What? Afraid to get your ass whooped by the new girl?
FAITH
(full of pride) OH AS IF! Think you can take one of the Originals? I've been slayin' since you been in diapers!
KENNEDY
Damn…I knew you were old but you gotta be older then my mother! (she gets a smirk)
FAITH
(mock anger) Oooohhhh she's a firecracker this one! (looks at Willow) I'll try not to break your toy Red, no promises tho…shes askin' for it!
WILLOW
I dunno…my slayers got some tricks up her sleeve (with a sly grin)
KENNEDY
(moves next to willow and puts her hands on her waist) And you would know it too (mimicks her grin and kisses Willow)
FAITH
(mocking a cough and gag) Save it for after I beat you down shrimpy, by the way…the fact your whipped gives me the advantage!
KENNEDY
(Kennedy breaks her kiss with Willow and blushes, soon turning to frustration) THAT'S IT!
Kennedy runs after Faith and chases her out of the complex outside to spar. Willow laughs at the entire ordeal then gets serious to talk to Buffy. She walks over to find Buffy packing up some things. Shes hesitant to speak, Buffy breaks the silence
BUFFY
Please don't try and change my mind Willow. I'm waiting for the guilt trip from Giles, Xander probably wont say much else. Dawn is gonna ask what the heck is wrong with me. Kennedy will think I'm crazy to turn my back on the power that she finally knows about. Faith wont say anything but she is gonna try and make me realize I'm wrong in her subtle Faithy way. But I just don't think I can handle any of that from you because it is gonna make sense then.
WILLOW (confused)
I wasn't gonna say anything like that…but out of curiousity why would it be different from me?
BUFFY
(turning to face Willow) Because you're my best friend Will…everything means something else coming from your best friend. It always makes more sense for some reason.
WILLOW
Yeah that makes sense. Guess that's how Xander got me to…well you know. (looks away guilty)
BUFFY
Exactly. I just can't do it anymore. The slaying took over my life for over seven years. Now that I finally have the chance to stop and not have all hell break loose (she pauses realizing the pun) wow that was bad….
WILLOW
(laughs) maybe the whole slaying did take a toll on you. Your puns used to be a lot better.
BUFFY
Yeah sad time when I canlt pun anymore…this is serious Willow (she sits on her bunk, Willow soon sits next to her)
WILLOW
I know it is. What I meant was…its ok that you don't wanna slay anymore. (Buffy looks at her confused) Seriously, its okay! What kinda best friend would I be if I wasn't ok with your choices Buffy? (she pauses waiting for a response but starts talking again to break the silence) We decided on a new town, its kinda chop full of evil but you don't have to worry about it. The reason we picked it is for a return to normalcy…sorry but we can't deny that we lived on a hellmouth most of our lives, who knows it might be a shock to our bodies if we lived without evil under us!
BUFFY
(lets out a little laugh) You never know nowadays. Okay, so new city huh? With tons of evil?
WILLOW
Yep! Its called Moonview…back when California was founded it was a sister town with Sunnydale. Things go pretty much the same there so its normal that way too. Not a lot of Crime but a giganto death rate. Right up our alley! (Buffy gives her a look) and no…you don't have to slay anymore. Just live like normal, get a job, maybe find a boyfriend and leave the slaying to us!
BUFFY
Fine. Just one problem. (Willow gives her a confused look) Dawn is gonna want to slay now too…
WILLOW
You aren't gonna let her are you?
BUFFY
Well I don't want to…but I just cant force her not too or else she is just gonna do what I did, sneak out.
WILLOW
I could probably put a magical protection on her room to stop her from leaving when her intentions are slaying. Then again it could mess up and that would be a fire hazard….
BUFFY
Thanks Will…but I think I'll just have to compromise with her. She can go out and slay—(she is interrupted by Dawn's scream of joy as she runs up to her sister and hugs her)
DAWN
Thank you thank you thank you! I swear I'll be careful Buffy! I'll only go with other people and always have a weapon and be back before its too late! (shes extatic and hugs her again) THANK YOU!
BUFFY
Dawnie, calm down. You didn't let me finish. (Dawns excitement fades as she looks at her sister) You can go out and slay, but you have to agree to let me train you. A lot.
DAWN
That's it? We were already doing that!
BUFFY
I know, but its going to be a lot harder now okay? More intense stuff and you have to train with Faith and Kennedy too, get some variety.
DAWN
DEAL! (she hugs Buffy)
BUFFY
Theres something else I'll add to the mix but I need to talk to Willow about it first. Much, much later tho. (when they finish hugging Buffy continues talking) Okay so where is everyone at? We should probably get everything sorted out before we leave.
WILLOW
Well Giles is on the phone getting money set up and finding a computer to get us a house in Moonview. Xander and Dawn were talking when I left…
DAWN
Yeah….he's snoring again. You can't hear him?
WILLOW
Shoulda figured. And Faith and Kennedy went out back to spar a bit, they were getting restless.
BUFFY
How do you know? (pause) oh right…freaky Goddess-instinct-feeling-the-slayer-aura stuff
WILLOW
Do you and Faith plan your comments on my confusing little issue? And I know Kennedy keeps saying it but I seriously doubt I am a Goddess! She's just being sweet. (Willow looks down in thought)
BUFFY
Well I think she was on to something…I don't know about Dawn, Xander and Giles, but I feel a need to…I don't know…respect you more or something
WILLOW
(shocked) What?
BUFFY
I mean….dang it what am I saying…I think it's the Slayer side of me. It's not like I wanna worship you or anything. Its just…the slayer in me is…I dunno…respecting you more? Not like I didn't respect you before! Just …..ugh what am I saying…
DAWN
(trying to save Buffy's blundering) I think I get it. (turns to Willow) That spell you did to awaken the slayers! You touched the essence of the Slayer itself. It must have connected you to it or something. So, your like, Goddess of the Slayers or something! Or at least their Guardian. That's why you can feel them.
BUFFY
That's it! Like when I was in that temple thing back in Sunnydale! There was a woman there who told me about the scythe! She had long silver hair too. I felt it with her too. Only it's stronger with you, more of the respect demanding. I think its because you are more powerful then she was.
WILLOW
Was?
BUFFY
Oh yea…Caleb kinda…well killed her. So maybe there was a job opening and your spell kinda gave it to you!
WILLOW
So what.. now I'm a Goddess or guardian of the Slayers?
DAWN
That's so cool! Only kinda lengthy…I'd pick to go with either Goddess or Guardian. Goddess feels more powerful and legendary. Guardian feels more serious and true. Kinda opposites if you think about it. Either way your no longer just Willow the Super Witch.
BUFFY
Not gonna lie to ya Will. The Slayer in me is screaming that Dawnie's right.
WILLOW
That's kinda scary…
BUFFY
(changing the subject seeing Willow's unease) Well oh great master of the Slayer, whaddaya say we find the other two slayers around here before they beat each other to a bloody pulp?
WILLOW
Good plan, Kennedy looked like she was gonna kill Faith. It would be funny to watch them sparring after how they were talking (she laughs as they go off to find their friends)
OUTSIDE THE REFUGEE COMPLEX – DAY
Kennedy and Faith are circling each other waiting to make the next strike. Both changed into tanktops and jeans with wrapped knuckles and are barefoot in the grass. They are both panting, Kennedy a little more then Faith given shes new to her abilities. Faith gives Kennedy a smirk and laughs
FAITH
Whats up shrimp? Not getting tired on me already are ya? Come on I'm just startin' to get pumped up! (Faith hops up and down showing her excitement)
KENNEDY
In your dreams! (taunts Faith forward) Bring it on Obi-Wan, time to show you what the next generation can do.
FAITH
Fine, but you asked for it!
Faith lunges to Kennedy who throws Faith over her shoulder to the grass. She backs up and holds her stance while keeping light on her feet.
FAITH
Not bad squirt. One problem tho…
Faith rolls on her back and spins her legs, tripping Kennedy then she pounces on her pinning her to the grass.
FAITH
You stood too close when ya awakened the tiger (she gives an evil grin)
KENNEDY
Tiger? (she flips Faith over her head and jumps up) more like a little pussy cat!
FAITH
Alright enough talk! Show me whatcha got shrimp.
Faith attempts to roundhouse kick Kennedy who ducks it and elbows Faith in the back before she regains her balance. They exchange punches and blocks until Faith finds an opening and spins Kennedy around putting her in a Full-Nelson. Kennedy flips Faith over into the grass only to be brought down with her. They both summersault backwards and take similar stances against each other. They glare at one another and charge full speed, they are at a deadlock pushing at eachothers shoulders.
FAITH
(struggling) Gotta admit, Slayer Skills are crazy in ya squirt. Reminds me of back when I first got called.
KENNEDY
(also struggling) Thanks, now imagine when I have my power for a bit longer, I'll be kickin' your ass in no time (she grins)
FAITH
Maybe…but then again…
Faith pushes against Kennedy making her stumble backwards and then kicks her in the back causing her to fall to the ground. Faith stands over her ready to give her more when she moves. Knowing she was beat, Kennedy stays down.
FAITH
I'll have my power for longer too. (She grins) But don't worry Mini-me, one day ya just might have me at a stalemate….keyword there is might by the way.
Faith holds out her hand to Kennedy to help her up. Kennedy can't help but smile as she takes Faiths hand and stands up. They notice Buffy, Dawn, and Willow when they start clapping. Faith bows with a cocky attitude all her own while Kennedy seems embarrassed.
KENNEDY
Uhhhh…how long have you guys been standing there?
WILLOW
Long enough to see you hold your own against Faith!
Willow runs to hug Kennedy who has a confused look on her face. She looks at Faith who smiles and walks over to Buffy and Dawn.
KENNEDY
Hate to tell ya this baby, I got my ass handed to me on a snazzy silver platter.
WILLOW
(pulling back from the hug) Ken, Faith has been a slayer for years! She's used to her power that you've only had for a few weeks! The face that she complimented you like that means you did awesome but she wont admit it. (looks at Faith and grins) And that she has seriously changed.
KENNEDY
True. So whats up guys? Even though Willow probably enjoyed it I don't think Buffy and Dawn wanted to watch us getting all down and dirty rolling in the grass.
FAITH
Yeah right! 'Cuz id ever try going after Goddess' girl! I like all my insides inside and my outsides outside thank you! (catching what she said) No offense Red…but you're the one chick I ain't planning on crossin'….ever.
WILLOW
Oh comeon guys! Do I really make your Slayer Senses go all tingly that bad!
BUFFY/FAITH/KENNEDY
Yes.
Willow makes a defeated look as they all laugh and walk back to the complex.
REFUGEE SHELTER – DAY
The Scoobies are all sitting around talking while Giles walks over to them with a pleasant look on his face.
BUFFY
Ooohh look at Giles. Either he found a way to kill Andrew and get away with it or he found us a pretty house with a nice picket fence.
GILES
God please don't tempt me. But a yes to the house, although I am afraid you'll have to do with out the picket fence.
XANDER
Awww! But we could just throw the Vampires on the fence and they'd be dust in the wind! (realizing the thought) Hey….anyone think that's why they invented picket fences?
DAWN
Makes sense. What kinda perfect neighborhood home would be without some kinda vampire protection even if they don't know it?
XANDER
See what I mean? It's Genius! Probably why in the olden days people always carried their crosses around too! Man. Old people knew how to live…literally.
DAWN
Maybe instead of carving pumpkins on Halloween people should widdle funny faces in Garlic. (everyone is silent) Or not…
XANDER
S'okay Dawnster. Not everyone has it in 'em to be the sarcastic one.
FAITH
Guess we better find someone with it then huh? What kinda Scooby gang would we be without one?
XANDER
Ooooo and she comes out a'swingin! I tip my eyepatch to you, but I warn you…I'll keep my place in this group as the sarcastic one even if I have to fight back with bad puns about funny garlic faces!
DAWN
Hey!
GILES
Funny faces in garlic…quite…more to the point, I found you all a respectable sized house. Four bedrooms, two and a half baths, full size kitchen and dining room, along with plenty of space for relaxation and so forth.
BUFFY
Four bedrooms? No offense Giles..but theres six of us.
GILES
Yes, well…I umm…(clears his throat.)…sort of assumed that…
FAITH
Red and Shrimp were gonna shack up together so they can get their grove on without sneakin' into each other's rooms at night?
Willow blushes while Kennedy gives her a grin. Buffy slaps Faith jokingly
FAITH
What? S'not like we weren't all thinking it! I just said it so Big G over there wouldn't explode by his blushing.
BUFFY
Whatever. That still leaves one person. And don't look at me! I'm way past sharing a room with my little sister.
DAWN
Hey!
GILES
Well yes, however a Basement can easily be turned mildly homey. With the right provisions and work at least.
XANDER
Easy for you to say…
WILLOW
No offense Xander…but a monkey could have made your little "home" under your parents house homey.
XANDER
(faking being struck in the chest) Ouch, im hurt Will. And here I thought you liked my little underground condo.
WILLOW
Uhhhh no.
XANDER
Well don't think I don't know where u guys are goin with this! No way on this Earth am I getting stuck in the basement just 'cuz I'm the only guy!
FAITH
No worries Black Beard, dibs on basement. We can turn it into a killer training spot too. I always feel all warm and snuggly inside when I sleep next to the weapons and a punching bag.
WILLOW
That…and we don't wanna hear when you come home from Slaying to get your little Double H's.
FAITH
Speak for yourself Red! Your dating a Slayer now…whatcha think she's gonna wanna do when she gets home from getting all hot and sweaty with a vamp (she smirks and walks away talking with Xander about what to do with the Basement)
BUFFY
She's gotta point Will. Hate to say it, but the Double H's are kinda true. Come on Dawn lets go pack up what's left before we go. (Buffy and Dawn walk off)
GILES
Well I'll take all that as a (mocking a California girl voice) "Thank you for buying us a brilliant new home Giles! Your so fantastic and smart! What would we do without you!" (Kennedy and Willow look at him unimpressed) (Giles cleans his glasses) Right then, I'll go complete the transaction.
(Giles walks off leaving Kennedy and Willow, Kennedy looks confused)
KENNEDY
Double H's?
WILLOW
Don't ask…
BLACKOUT