A/N: Looking forward to the new epi after seeing this sneak peek, oh who am I kidding I'm always excited for AoS. Hopefully there'll be more FitzSimmons than in the last three episodes.
Spoilers: Everything up to and including the Simmons and May sneak peek for 3x14 Watchdogs.
Disclaimer: I'm not prepared for what TPTB hurl at us, ergo I can't be the owner of the rights to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Even through the earmuffs the sounds were deafening. Bang, bang, bang. Her index finger was numb from the constant exercise. But she didn't flinch, she hadn't for a while now. The old her would have run screaming from anything even resembling the slightest sign of a gun, but not this person. This person, that was supposed to be her, just held the tiny machine in her hands and repeatedly pulled the trigger, then reloaded and started from the top, over and over again. She was still trying to remember to exhale like May had told her to do, but she wasn't relaxed enough to do that automatically, yet. Holding everything in was her specialty, so holding her breath was no different. That was her way of remaining in control. She just had to keep practicing - practice made perfect, right?
Eventually she would be able to hit the target without hating herself for turning into this person. Someone who relied on guns to defend herself. As a principle she had always held science in higher regards than brutal violence, which was why she had justified choosing to enter Shield Academy in the first place. It was supposed to be a place where she would be able to help the world become better, without the use of violence.
Yet here she was deliberately shooting a gun. Although only at a flat and unmoving paper target for the time being. She concentrated everything she got on hitting the centre of the white outlined, slightly oval circles drawn on the black silhouette, that indicated where her bullets would cause the most harm, and in worst case scenarios, death. If she actually ended up pointing and shooting it at someone in the future, it would be with intent. There'd be no such thing as claiming it to be a stupid accident, as it had been the time she shot Agent Sitwell, even though he turned out to be Hydra, so he deserved it.
Even now she hated herself for thinking that way. She used to believe that all lives were precious, now she was willing to shot on sight. Shield had broken her, she was sure of that, but it was too late to fix now. The moment of regret had long since passed her by. And this was the only way she could think off to not turn into a victim, to stay alive and not depend on anyone else to save her. Killing had never been her choice, it had been bestowed upon her. She knew however that she would never be a killing machine, like many a field agent, but she'd never be defenceless again either. She wasn't going to let anyone else fight her battles for her. Put anyone else at risk at her expense.
This was who she was now. Jemma Simmons, armed and prepared.
A/N: Just a few thoughts at 2 am.
Also I saw this clip without the first part that shows the target she's shooting at, so if you've seen it, my description obviously doesn't fit, sorry if that annoys anyone.