Note: THIS IS A HUMOROUS ONE-SHOT! I hope it is funny, though it may not be - it's sort of hard to write humor sometimes! This is what happens when you bet against Alice - lesson learned! I made this Emmett slightly more goofy than the real one for obvious reasons.
Emmett's POV
When you're immortal, life can become pretty boring sometimes - even if you do have a super-hot vampire wife, so I decided to have some fun one cold, rainy day in the lovely, tiny town of Forks.
"Alice! Is the future set in stone?" I asked suddenly while she was watching some chick-flick called The Notebook.
"No…why do you want to know?" she shot back suspiciously. Ah, little miss Alice knows me all too well. Of course, she should, considering the fact that she can see my soon-to-be actions.
"I am making it my sole mission to prove one of your visions wrong. Yes, you heard me - WRONG!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, making sure that everyone in the house could hear me. "Le gasp!"
"I wouldn't do that, Emmett. You know what they say…"
"Never bet against Alice," finished Edward, smirking.
"Do you mean never ever, because that's a very long way from now - it's not like I'm going to die anytime soon! I have all of eternity if I wish!" I exclaimed.
"Yes, I meant never ever," he replied.
"Never ever ever?" I said in a sing-song voice.
"I meant never to infinity!" Edward said through his teeth. I laughed - it was so much fun to tease him!
"What about infinity…and beyond!?"
"I am choosing to ignore that," he muttered under his breath as he headed off to find Bella.
"Never walk away from a challenge, Eddie - it's not manly!" I called after him. "Any way, back to the matter at hand. It will be my goal to prove you wrong, Miss I-Know-It-All. Oh, wait - that's Edward's nickname. OK, Miss Know-All, then!" Yeah - that works!
"Fine!" Alice huffed. "I bet that you can't go without a month for playing any type of video game or even laying a finger on your X-box! And, when I win, which I will, you can't eat chocolate any more until I say so!"
"You're on! And, when I win, you can't look into the future voluntarily for a whole year unless it's a dire emergency!" You might find it weird that a vampire is eating chocolate, but I'd tasted it and found it really good! Yeah, so I can't exactly digest it, but that doesn't mean that I don't like it!
"OK. See ya in a month!" Too bad for her - it's February first…during a leap year! HA!
Week One:
Oh - the agony! It's killing me! I can hardly breathe…even though I don't have to, really! And the reason why I'm dying inside? I am FUN DEPRIVED, I tell you, and is it a terrible disease that is affecting children everywhere! My life has been nothing without my precious X-box, and not even Rosalie can cheer me up. I am depressed to say the least. Oh well: Keep holding on, Emmett! You can do this! You're in the army now!
Week Two:
I swear that Jasper and Edward enjoy torturing me. They were playing Halo, one of my all-time favorites, and really battling it out for three reasons: both love that game just like I do, Jasper is probably tempting me to help out Alice, and Edward is finally getting his 'long overdue revenge'.
"Pick up a game console, Emmett. It's so much fun!" Edward taunted.
Lord, take me now!! WHY ME??
Week Three:
"OK, people! That's IT! I, Emmett McCarty Cullen, forfeit!" I announced, plopping down on Esme's best sofa and beginning to play my X-box with a vengeance.
"HA! I knew you couldn't do it!" Alice cheered.
"Wimp," Rosalie mumbled.
"Excuse me, but I can do eight hundred bench presses in one sitting! Is that not man enough for you?!" I exclaimed, thoroughly insulted.
"Of course it is. There's nothing unusual about a vampire that can lift a billion tons but isn't capable of staying away from video games for just one month. No, that's completely normal!!" I heard a voice yell from down the hallway - one that sounded distinctly like…
"EDWARD!!" I shouted, jumping off the couch.
Note: Not very good, I know, but I was bored, OK?