Disclaimer: This story was written for comedic purposes so please don't take it seriously.
Fred: Now where's that microphone? *microphone is on the ground, Fred picks it up* Aha! *yells into microphone* IT'S SNACK TIME!
Mr. Greenrind: *juice coming out of ears* Aw, geez! That hurt! FRED! I'm going to his house to teach him a lesson! *runs through the field*
Bingo: *climbs up to the Nut Hut* What is it? Sugar Booty?
Slip: *comes out of fridge* Chocolate fudge?
Slide: *comes out of fridge* Incestuous pornography?
Fred: No, much better than all of those! Come out!
Melanie: *walks into the room*
Bingo: *gets tongue-tied*
Fred: Okay, keep yourself occupied while I go grocery shopping! Bye! *exits Nut Hut*
Mr. Greenrind: *enters Nut Hut* Where's Fred?!
Bingo: He went grocery shopping.
Mr. Greenrind: Wait, where'd you get Melanie?
Bingo: Don't ask me.
Rockdump Helicopter Pilot: This is the Rockdump pilot. I need a place to dump these here rocks.
Rockdump Commander: Go 5 meters forward, and that'll be perfect.
Rockdump Helicopter: *goes 5 meters forward and dumps the rocks, the rocks trap the tributes in the Nut Hut*
Mr. Greenrind: *grabs Melanie's arm* Melanie, you're coming with me! *runs to the door and bumps into a large rock blocking the door* What the heck?
Bingo: I guess we're stuck here.
Slip: I'm bored, Slide.
Slide: I know! We'll commit incest!
Slip: *shows Bingo's face* Get it in! Get it in! Exercise that banana! Yeah! Woo hoo! *splat*
Slide: I think I've got EbolAIDS! *gets spots* Aah! Spots! *runs around and collapses, dying*
Slip: N-n-no! Slide!
Slide: *does a post-mortem fart that melts Slip*
Melanie: *sits in a chair* This chair is taken.
Bingo: I have an idea, Mr. Greenrind! We should get in that bed!
Mr. Greenrind: What are you, gay?
Bingo: Come on, we can exchange body heat!
Mr. Greenrind: I knew you were gay!
Bingo: I'm not gay! I'm straight!
Mr. Greenrind: Get over here, homo! *Bingo and Mr. Greenrind fight while he repeatedly spouts "Gay!" and Bingo repeatedly spouts "Straight!"*
Bingo: Oh come on, Mr. Greenrind! Yo know how much I wanna drill into Melanie!
Mr. Greenrind: WHAT?!
Bingo: ...'s house and give her a present!
Melanie: *takes out headphones* What did you say? I was chatting with toxicbunga243, okay?
Bingo: I didn't say jack shit! You're only insulting me for being gay because you might be gay yourself.
Mr. Greenrind: HA! So you ARE homo!
Bingo: NO! What I meant was-
Mr. Greenrind: GAAAAAY. *sets tape across the room* Okay, I'll have this half, you'll have that half.
Bingo: Bullshat! You have the bed, the girl, and the fridge!
Mr. Greenrind: WHY would I commit incest?! We already have Slip and Slide for that!
Bingo: But they're dead!
Mr. Greenrind: They'll come back when the game resets. Besides, you get that sexy table! Ooh, I'm so jealous!
Bingo: But I'm also trapped with Slip and Slide's corpses and I think one of them shat themselves.
Mr. Greenrind: Oh, cry me a river. Speaking of which, I need to head to Fred's bathroom to drop one myself. And I might be in there for a few hours because you know why. So no shagging my niece while I'm gone?!
Bingo: Yes, sir. *approaches Melanie*
Bingo: So, Melanie...whatcha watchin'?
Melanie: One Direction videos.
Bingo: *blushes* Do you...like that band?
Melanie: Of course I do, silly!
Bingo: Really? So do I! We have so much in common!
Melanie: I know right? Harry's so cute, I wanna kiss him.
Bingo: So do I! We have so much in common! *realizes what he said* Wait! I didn't mean-
Melanie: Hehe. You're so cute.
Bingo: *gets tongue-tied*
Mr. Greenrind: Focus...*loud defecation noises and whimpering from Mr. Greenrind*
Bingo: Mr. Greenrind! We can hear you!
Mr. Greenrind: Fine! I feel like my ass is tearing! *more defecation and whimpering* O-okay, I'm done. *flushes*
Bingo: What was going on in there?
Mr. Greenrind: *comes into the room with toilet paper clogging a crack in his butt* Bingo, get back to your side!
Bingo: This is MY side now! You can have the rotting banana twins!
Mr. Greenrind: Why I oughta! *Bingo and Mr. Greenrind fight, Bingo grabs the TP out of the crack in Mr. Greenrind's butt* Aah! What the fack?!
Bingo: Your ass is leaking!
Mr. Greenrind: *crouches down on the Slip and Slide corpses, Mr. Greenrind's juice comes out of the crack in his ass* Yeah! That'll drown out the unholy smell!
Melanie: Sometimes, I really love Kyle Lipton's magic stick.
Coconut Fred as narrator: Meanwhile...
Lemon Wedge: *humming while hammering a board in a house, sees some weed on the ground* Hmm, what's this?
Bunga Berry: Alla!
Wedge: Weed, huh? Let me see how the basement is. *goes down to basement, sees that there's a hole in the house, and a broken pipe is spewing out weed* Oh my god! It's flooding with green stuff!
Bunga: Gial alla!
Wedge: Still weed, huh? *a pipe explodes and weed leaks out of it, suffocating Lemon and Bunga in it*
Mr. Greenrind: So, what did you say about Kyle Lipton and magic wands?
Melanie: I was just babbling. I think it must have to do with this house having a long cock.
Mr. Greenrind: *pictures the Nut Hut having a cock and balls, wimpers* Ew.
Bingo: I need to drown out my mind with some music! *turns on radio, sets it to song 59*
Song: I f!ck yo b!tch! I f!ck yo b!tch! Ooh, I f!ck you b!tch!
Bingo: *sets it to song 1021*
Song: Shrek is love, Shrek is life, Shrek is screwing your wife...
Bingo: *sets it to song 256*
Song: I gettin' turned on! *repeat*
Bino: I guess this is good.
Song: I havin' sex with someone else's wife!
Bingo: I give up.
Charlie Brown: *wedgied over a tree*
Butchy: You better say "God Bless You" next time I sneeze, you bald-headed bitch! Or your ass is toast!
Charlie Brown: Alright, it won't happen again! I promise! Good grief! Are you gonna let me down now?
Butchy: Mmmm, nope.
Charlie Brown: AUGH! THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Bingo: HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE!
Butchy: What the hell?! *pulls out Blackberry* Blackberry! I need to decipher those noises coming from that ugly-ass hut!
Blackberry: I'm pretty sure you can already tell what's going on in there.
Butchy: Tell me now or I'll make a smoothie out of your dick! *sweetly* And I'll also buy you tickets to the opening day of the next Star Wars movie.
Blackberry: *sigh* Fine. According to my calculations, there are people trapped in there.
Butchy: HA! Trapped in that puny house? What a bunch of dipshits!
Coconut Fred: Alright! I've got all the ice cream sandwiches I need! When I get home, I'll shove them up my dick!
Bowser: Dude! You should check out this rad hotel! You can ask for whatever you want and they never say no! Come with me! *takes Fred to the Peanut Towers*
Violette: *opens the door* Allo.
Bowser: *comes into the Peanut Towers* I'd like to book a room for two.
Linus van Pelt: I'd recommend Room 10,234.
Bowser: Okay, I'll book that. *runs with Coconut Fred into the elevator, it goes up to floor 1,023*
Violette: Welcome to space!
Bowser: How did you make it up here?
Violette: Screw the laws of physics!
Bowser: *goes on a chair in Room 10,234* Violette?
Violette: What?
Bowser: I'll have one blowjob please.
Violette: What?!
Bowser: The plaque. *points at plaque* "We shall never deny a guest. Even the most ridiculous request."
Bowser: And one for my friend Walnut Pete.
Coconut Fred: *on bed* Actually, it's Coconut Fred. *gets his schlong out*
French narrator: At ze hut...
Bingo: I'm so bored. *stomach growls* And hungry as well.
Melanie: *stomach also growls* I am too.
Mr. Greenrind: So am I.
Melanie: Is there anything in here to eat, Uncle Mel?
Mr. Greenrind: I'm sure Fred must keep some food in here. *opens up a nearby mini fridge, it is full of jars of coconut milk* GROSS!
Bingo: Well that settles it. We're gonna starve to death.
Melanie: *crying* I don't want to starve! I got so much to live for! I never road an airplane or kissed a boy!
Bingo: Wait, you never kissed a boy?
Melanie: Sure, I had sex with lots of boys, but I never did kiss one.
Mr. Greenrind: Wait, what?!
Melanie: Never mind.
Mr. Greenrind: There's only one thing we can eat. *glances over at Slip and Slide's corpses*
Bingo: NO! No way!
Melanie: Why not? That's the only thing edible in here, and looks like it's our last resort.
Bingo: Do you know why we find corpses disgusting? We are evolutionarily disgusted by corpses because they are fertile breeding grounds for so many diseases, and improper disposal of them has lead to some of the worse outbreaks of disease in history. If we eat Slip and Slide's corpses, we might suffer from brain damage or our tongues might get infected.
Mr. Greenrind: Bingo, did you memorize all that information off Wikipedia?
Bingo: Maybe.
Melanie: No you didn't, you Enterbot.
Bingo: Hey, it isn't my fault I streamed Smash 4 two seconds after it was released!
Mr. Greenrind: What does that have to do with anything? *juice stops coming out of Mr. Greenrind's butt* My melon must have emptied. *dehydrated* Someone get me some tape and water!
Bingo: Coming right up, Mr. Greenrind! *brings Mr. Greenrind some coconut milk and tape*
Mr. Greenrind: *tapes up his butt, then chugs the coconut milk down* Aah. *cringes* What was that? It's way past salty.
Bingo: It's coconut milk.
Mr. Greenrind: *vomits*
Bingo: I know! I'll tell a joke! Why couldn't the 11-year old see the pirate movie?
Mr. Greenrind: Why?
Bingo: Because it was rated Mama Luigi! *laughs, the others are not amused*
Melanie: Bingo, Ruben ain't paying you to do SpaDinner.
Mr. Greenrind: *goes into another room* My cock is hard. I can already feel it. *unzips pants* Cum, papa! *his cock cums on the floor*
Bingo: What're you doing? *a plane heads for the Peanut Towers, which is beside the newly installed Merio Tower. It hits the Merio Tower, and the top of the building comes off and unblocks the debris, at least the stuff that covers up the door*
Mr. Greenrind: *running out of the room* It's not what it looks like, Bingo! *trips and falls out of the Nut Hut, repeatedly hitting rocks as he falls, all this happening while his schlong's out*
Mr. Greenrind: *no response*
Bingo: Melanie, I think your uncle's dead.
Melanie: It's fine. He'll come back to life once the game restarts. In the meantime, I just wanted to say that I thought you were really brave staying in this hut.
Bingo: And just so you know, no I'm not gay. Nor do I watch Mr. Enter's videos all the time!
Melanie: I would've figured. Wanna have sex?
Bingo: Sure!
Bingo and Melanie: *groaning in pleasure, as sexy music plays*
Mr. Greenrind: *holds head, which is cracked open as juice leaks out, as he enters the Nut Hut* Ugh...my head...*sees Bingo and Melanie having sex* WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU MOTHERFUCKER, THAT'S MY NIECE YOU'RE BANGING!
Bingo: Mr. Greenrind, I can't expla-
Mr. Greenrind: *pulls out shotgun and shoots Bingo dead*
Melanie: Uncle Mel, you just killed your own assistant!
Mr. Greenrind: MELANIE, YOU'RE GROUNDED UNTIL COLLEGE
Melanie: SCREW YOU, YOU'RE NOT MY DAD! *pushes Mr. Greenrind out of Nut Hut*
Mr. Greenrind: *cracks head open against rock, watermelon juice splatters everywhere, dies*
Melanie: *stares back and forth at Mr. Greenrind and Bingo's deceased remains* Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me?! *cries as Coconut Fred approaches her*
Coconut Fred: Hey, Melanie! What happened to Bingo? And Mr. Greenrind?
Melanie: *stops crying* They died.
Coconut Fred: Hey, since Mr. Greenrind's not here, want me to shag you?
Melanie: I have nothing else to do.
Coconut Fred: *shags Melanie*