A/N: Welcome to my first ever story, yay (not so much). Anyways I don't think this chapter is too bad for angst, but others might think so, and it's only going to get worse later on. Just a heads up, it might get violent or disturbing, but I'm not sure yet. I'd like to thank The-blackfirewolf for betaing this. I am not in anyway connected to Disney, Dreamworks, or any other producers of children's movies. The summary is a retelling of Frozen, Rise of the Guardians, and a few other animated movies that have not been introduced yet. Rated T.
The ice breaks suddenly beneath my feet, sending me careening into a world of ice and darkness. My sister's voice, calling my name, echoes in my ears as I fall into the freezing water. Trapped beneath the surface of the ice, I indulge in a useless struggle for air that makes my throat and lungs burn. There is numbness as I sink down into the depths of the murky water. For what has to be centuries, I wait in a state that isn't quite dead, but is definitely not alive. I wonder constantly what holds me frozen in this mental purgatory, and yet, there is no clear answer I can find in my cage of water and weeds. The cold and dark drive away my memories day by day and I wait so long that eventually they vanish completely. I think I can remember someone calling my name; then again, it could have been the gurgling water being mistaken for things I want to hear.
Then I'm suddenly awoken, and strangely enough, it's not by warmth or thaw as one would think. I am awoken by a strange sort of cold I've never felt in all my years beneath the frozen pond. It's more intense than anything I can remember feeling before and it forces my eyes open before shoves me up towards the surface. It is horribly uncomfortable, and yet, when I feel it I know I am free.
My fingers tingle with numbness as I joyfully sweep them towards the back wall of the ballroom, creating a mountain of snow. "Come on, Anna," I call to my sister as I run up the hill and I can hear her giggle as she runs after me. We run laughing straight to the top as wind and snow blows through our hair and tickles our noses. Ice swirls beneath my fingertips, causing more numbness to pinch at my palms. The crystallized-water coalesces into the sleek shape of a glorious sled; gilded with the twisting design of frost flowers.
"You first," I say gleefully as I gesture for Anna to sit on the sled. She giggles some more as she places herself on the sled, then bursts into hysterical laughter as I push the sled as hard as I can down the hill. I send a gust of wind out from my hands to urge her sled faster down the hill, but as I do an icicle bursts involuntarily from my hands. In this exact moment, she turns her head to smile enthusiastically back at me and I watch helplessly as the fragment strikes her between the eyes.
Her eyes widen in shock and a bolt of lightning seems to flash through them, changing them from sparkling aqua-green to piercing blue before they close. She slumps sidelong off the side of the sled, which carries on down the hill without her. My heart pounds as I run down the hill in a panic, yelling "Anna! Anna!" when I've reached her body, she's as cold as the ice on a mountain's peak. A pure white streak shoots through her reddish-brown hair, then another, and another.
Pulling her into my arms, I place a hand upon her brow and attempt to reclaim hold over the crystals of ice I've imbedded in her skull and cast them out, but it only seems to make it worse. Her lips slowly begin to turn blue, starting from a pale colour like the sky, and then darkening to a blackish-blue resembling spilled ink. A layer of frost begins spiraling like vines over her body and flourishes into a flowery pattern like the ones on the sled.
"Mama! Papa!" I shriek, feeling sick inside as I burst into tears. Snow spins wildly around the room while frost and ice scale the length of the walls. Mama and Papa burst into the snow-capped room just as the last of Anna's russet hair turns completely white.
"What have you done!?" booms Papa as mama snatches Anna's cold form away from me.
"It was an accident!" I cry desperately before they rush out of the room, taking a frost-covered Anna with them. I stay where I am, with the wind blaring in my ears and curl up in the snow to sob sullenly in the flurry. I never knew my powers could be harmful until now. I've never feared my powers before now, but now the fear was everywhere.
I can feel that fear turning into something real and monstrous before me. This monster becomes something material, taking the shape of a tall menacing figure that melds from the hoarfrost on the walls. Black sand flies around it and mingles with the snow, and I swear that among the whistling of the wind I can hear faint screams of terror. I want to scream with them. I hate it instantly and want it gone, but no matter how I shriek and cry I cannot will it away. Then it begins to fade away, and slowly blends in with the sand in the storm. It's cruel, glowing eyes and wide malicious grin hang in the air a moment longer than its body, then it too vanishes into dust. The dust continues to mingle with my snow and I know it is still there somewhere watching me, and even as I try to block it all out, I can still hear my own wind whispering to me.
I hear it tell me the name of the creature: Pitch Black.
Nine Years Later
I stand on the surface of the frozen pond just like I do every night. Looking up to the full moon shining brightly down on me, I flashback to the night my brother met his fate, for on that night the moon shone just the same. Tears prickle in my eyes and I take a deep consoling breath of chilly air before kneeling on the cool surface of the pond. Slowly I cast my eyes down upon the sheet of ice, knowing that somewhere beneath its exterior my brother lays in frozen captivity. I remember standing upon the ice while it splintered beneath my feet and Jack trying to coax me gently off. He told me it that it was all just a game and I'd accused him of playing tricks. Most of all, I remember him telling me to believe in him, and how I so completely had.
Cool wind whisks through the tree branches and sends an arctic chill through my body. Shivering violently, I pull my thick cloak closer around my shoulders. I close my eyes and whisper the age-old words, "I believe" and then I sit patiently and wait for him to surface. When I open my eyes he'll be crouching in front of me smiling as if he never left. I'm sure of it; all I have to do is listen for his voice making a joke.
When a decent amount of time has passed, I peel my eyes open cautiously and am disappointed when he's nowhere to be seen. It's the same thing that happens every time, but this time it's too much to bear.
For a moment I just sit there as warm tears streak down my face and I bow my head in calm resignation, but then I catch myself. After all these years of believing I can't let my faith slip away so easily.
I slam my fists into the pond's face, sending a stinging sensation through the sides of my hands. For a moment I just stare at its white surface, and then I begin to yell.
"Jack, you promised me everything was going to be ok!" Tears fall rapidly down my face. "This isn't ok, and I expect you to keep your promise! I expect you to come back!" I gasp and whimper a little as I place my forehead against the smooth ice.
"Please don't tell me this is another one of your tricks, Jack. I've believed in you for nine years and it's time for you to keep your promise. Papa's leaving tomorrow and I have to go with him, you know I do, because I can't keep doing this. I can't put my life on hold for you; I've been doing it for too long. I've missed so much for you and I know there is so much more than this." My voice cracks and I swallow hard before lowering my voice. "I want to experience life and I can't because I believe in you... and I can't do it anymore. I have to go, Jack, and this is your last chance, because if you don't come back tonight, I'm gonna stop believing in you." I wait quietly for an answer, but it never comes, so slowly, I sit up and wipe my tears away. Lifting a heavy heart, I rise bit by bit to my feet and turn to leave.
Feet frozen to their place on the pond, I stare forward down the path to home, unable to make myself move. I know the moment I leave, I'll stop believing, and somehow, after all these years, I don't feel ready. I turn myself around viciously and throw myself down to the pond again. I wail my fists angrily against the ice, and then halt the blows just as suddenly as I started them. I gasp urgently for air as I begin to sob violently.
"This isn't fair Jack," I tell him with more tears streaking down my face. "I don't like this game, Jack. I need you, I need you to come with me, I need you in my life, and-" My voice cracks but this time I don't stop it. "I need you to come back." I swallow hard and stare at the ice for a moment. "Please, Jack, I'm begging you." The wind buffs against my skin but I don't think that's why I'm shaking. "Come back." and when there is still no response, I begin to sniffle. Collapsing against the ice I begin to weep deafeningly. "Come back!" I howl, "Jack, I believe. Come back." Then my words break down into blubbering noises, and soon after, not even that. I stay where I am long after the gasping sobs stop and the last trickle of tears have frozen to my face.
When the cold seeping into my hands and face from the pond finally force me to decide I must leave, I find that I am extremely bitter. He has not risen from the pond because he does not care how I hurt. I turn my head towards the sheet of ice and mutter, "I see," then I gradually push myself upright and stare back at the pond as coldly as it stares up at me. "It was a trick after all."
I smile sourly feeling waves of resentment rise and crash within me. "You played games right to the end." I drop the smile into a frown and close my eyes in resignation. "The games didn't end though, did they?" When I open my eyes I find that there is one more tear to shed and I feel it travel leisurely down my face. "Well, I don't need your games, Jack." I tell the pond softly. "I don't believe in you, not anymore." And with that, I stand and walk home.
I've killed what I love most: my sister. My parents tell me that they rushed my sister off to a village of magical trolls, living in the mountains. They say that by the time they arrived, it was too late. Her condition was too critical to ever handle such traveling again, and so she would never come back. I know now that this isn't true, it was just a nice way of saying that I turned her into a block of ice.
I sit in my room as I usually do, for it's now hard for me to be around other people, even with my gloves. When I'm around other people I'm filled with fear, and when I'm afraid, he appears. I divert my attention from him, not wanting to conjure forth his haunting image. I fidget uncomfortably with the white gloves, for the frost that gathers in them scratches at my skin. Perhaps it is time to exchange them for another pair and drape these ones by the fire.
I reach over to pull open the drawer of my nightstand and fish around for a new pair of gloves. I spread the silky new gloves out on the bed before me then tug nervously at the fingers of the frosty gloves on my hands until I've pulled them off. I set them down beside the new ones and reach to make the transition.
"Concealing again, are we?" I freeze at the sound of his voice and slowly raise my eyes to him. "Don't look so surprised, Elsa. You didn't really think I'd ignore your attention's call, did you?" My eyes dart fervently back down to the gloves and I begin to reach for them again, but his hand whisks out and snatches both pairs away. Panic fills my heart and I can already feel the ice scaling the wall. Force it down; don't feel it! I command myself determinedly as I draw myself up and lunge towards him.
"Give it back!" I yell as I make a grab for the gloves. My hand hits air as he disappears then reappears on the other side of the room, next to the roaring fireplace. He gives me an all-knowing smile but I only frown at him and turn away to reach for the nightstand again. I tug at the drawer but it doesn't open. I pull at it again, and again, but it doesn't budge. Upon closer inspection I realize the drawer has been stuck shut with ice. In utter horror, I spin back towards Pitch who's still giving me that twisted smile.
"Let me guess," he says gloatingly, "You need these gloves." I pick up my skirts and begin storming towards him.
"Pitch, give me back-" He throws them into the fire before I'm done speaking. I stop in my tracks, not even half-way across the room. My mouth hangs open as I stare stunned at the fire.
"Or do you?" he says mockingly, and my eyes flick back to him. Rage explodes within me and I quickly turn away from him as I try to hold it in. Stay down, stay deep, deep down. Don't let it show.
Using most of my energy to hold my powers in check, I stagger weakly away from him and head back towards the bed. "There's no need to hide your rage from me, old friend. I already know you're a monster." I shake my head in denial and continue towards the bed.
"Go away," I snap harshly back at him.
"Or what? You'll blast me with snow? I'd like to see that."
"Enough, I don't want to talk."
"Why? Are you afraid of what I might tell you?"
"No."
"Do you really think you can lie to me, old friend? If there's one thing I know, Elsa, it's what you fear." I can hear the wind whistling as it quickens around me. "You're afraid I'll tell you why you're a monster."
"Shut up." I'm almost to the bed; I can stick my hands in the pillow case and wait this out.
"You're afraid because you'll know it's true."
"I am not a monster."
"Of course you are. What other kind of person would kill their own sister?" At these words I come to a sudden standstill. I stare at the bed knowing I should continue my progression towards it, but I can't bring myself to do so. I don't move because I know if I move, I'll lose control, and I need to keep myself together for Anna. Conceal it; don't feel it. I take deep reassuring breaths in a feeble attempt to ease my erratic heartbeat. I then tell myself as firmly as I can, don't let it show. I can't cry, I can't scream, I can't move – for any action I make will let loose emotions I can't control. I can't prove him right, I can't let myself believe what he tells me; I have to be strong for Anna.
"Do you want to build a snowman?" I hear Anna's voice clear as day behind me, and I spin around quickly to look at her. My heart sings as I stare down at her face smiling up at me with a snowball in her hands.
"Anna," I whisper as all my attention is stolen by her presence. I crouch down and reach my hands forward to cup her face. My hands are just about to touch her skin when it vanishes and is replaced by Pitch's.
"Boo," he says and I shriek in horror and disgust. My fingers prickle with numbness as ice shoots from my hands, but he disappears before it touches him and it sails across the room instead. In alarmed dismay I watch as it hits the fire and obliterates the heat. Frost curls around the bricks of the fireplace into the same flowery pattern that engulfed Anna.
"Look at what you've done, Elsa." His pitying voice sounds behind me and ignites a bought of rage too strong to hold down. I soar to my feet and spin towards him.
"It was a mistake!" I shriek as I fire crystals of ice towards him. He vanishes, but I know he'll reappear behind me, so I spin, blasting magic all around the room in the process. He has indeed reappeared behind me, but he dodges away from the frosty blow. He moves to the left and I follow him relentlessly with my powers, but he keeps moving to the left, away from the splinters of angry magic. He laughs at me manically the entire time and I furiously quicken my pace, but so does he.
We continue like this until we're both running in circles around the room and then he disappears. I stop blasting my magic and stare in shock as I realize what I've done. I did not feel the wind quickening around me, but I now realize that it has escalated into a full-blown storm. A blizzard of ice and snow swirl around me and the walls are caked in rime and slate. The windows and doors are iced over and the fireplace is filled with slush. Panicking, I try to rein in the flurry, but to my fright it only flies more wildly out of control.
"You're never going to change who you are, Elsa," Pitch says from somewhere behind me, but I block him out. "What's it gonna take for you to see you can only ever destroy?"
I don't answer him; I just close my eyes and lower myself to my knees. Placing my head in my hands I cry with the wind. When the raging storm finally settles, I stay where I am with my head buried in my hands, even though I am no longer crying. Pitch is right; I only ever make a mess of everything, but did that really mean I was a monster? I think of Anna with her joyful eyes and high energy. That little wonder was no more because of me. I miss her so much it hurts; I miss her all the time. I begin to sob softly as I sit up and look at my snow-frosted room. I couldn't hold it together for her: I failed.
I tell myself it will never happen again and pretend I haven't told myself that same thing several times before. I turn my eyes down toward the soft sparkling white snow I'm kneeling in. Slowly I poke a finger into the snow and a small laugh breaks through the sobs, despite myself, but then it's gone. Tears trace lines down my cheeks as I draw a circle in the snow and mimic my sister's words. "D-do you wa-want t-to build a sn-snowman?" I stammer over the whole thing and swallow hard before trying again.
"Do y-you want t-to build a sn-snowman?" I draw two more circles below the first and give the top circle some eyes. Pain radiates from my heaving chest as I gaze at my snowman picture for a moment before answering myself in little more than a whisper.
"Y-yes, I do." I swipe my hand over the picture; effectively destroying it, then lay down in the snow, shuddering with silent tears.
Today Papa and I will leave forever. I stand on the pond once more, holding my brother's staff over my shoulder. I look at the pond forlornly, regretting my behavior from last night.
"Jack?" I whisper hesitantly to the pond. "I'm sorry, I see now that it's not your fault. I've been blaming you because I didn't want to face the truth. It was my fault you died; I should have been more careful. I couldn't accept that you were gone forever because of me." Tears begin to stream down my face, but I keep going.
"It should have been me, and yet you traded your own life for my mistake. I understand now that I need to move on and I swear I'll spend the rest of my life trying to live up to your heroism. I promise you this because it's the least I can do after the chance you've given me." I smile genuinely through the tears and place his staff on top of the frozen pond. My fingers linger on the wooden edge of the staff for a moment before I withdraw. "Good-bye, Jack," I whisper while wiping away my tears. I smile again, and then walk away from the pond for the last time.
I wipe my nose on my sleeve then look up into the scowling eyes of my nurse. I try to cover it up by pretending I was reaching to rub at my eyes the whole time. Beatrice rolls her eyes at me and shakes her head, but says nothing.
"I must say, Anna, it's very brave of you to get up every day," she says as she places a cup of cocoa on the nightstand beside me. "Most people as sick as you would mope in bed their whole lives." I smile as I lower the blanket to reach for the cocoa.
"I have to be ready for when Elsa visits," I explain buoyantly before taking a gulp of cocoa. It's hot and burns my tongue and throat. I yelp, and without thinking, spit it out while dropping the cup into my lap. The spilt cocoa scalds my legs and I yelp again, this time jumping from the bed. Beatrice makes a startled face that quickly melts into something more tired. "S-srry," I slur, half sticking out my blistered tongue.
"It's alright, dear," she says sighing. "Go change your dress while I clean this up."
When I walk out of the dressing room my sheets have been changed and Beatrice is gone. I walk into the kitchen to find her making a new cup of cocoa. I stroll to the window on the far side of the room and peer out hopefully at the sun-lit landscape.
"Beatrice, it's so nice outside. Do you think I could-?"
"No Anna, you're not going outside."
"But I won't relapse. Look, its warm!"
"That's not a risk I'm willing to take." She puts the cup of cocoa into my hand. "Be careful, this time," she warns and I sigh and hold the cocoa closer to ease away the cold in my body.
"Anna, we need to talk." I raise my eyes in alarm.
"Have I done something wrong?"
"No Anna, sit down." She gestures to the table and I move hesitantly over to sit down in one of the chairs. "It's about Elsa."
"Is she ok?" I ask nervously.
"Well yes, but the thing is I don't think she's going to be visiting you."
"Of course she is, we're best friends."
"You were, but she hasn't visited you since you fell ill."
"She's just been busy," I reply, without a trace of concern, as I wave her off.
"For nine years?"
"Hey, I know it's been awhile, but she's my sister." I smile and shrug. "She wouldn't just forget about me." Beatrice gives me a pitying look; it's one I've seen before. She's never said so but I've known for a long time that she has doubts about Elsa. I can't say I've never wondered about her absence, but I remember playing in the snow with her in winter. We built snowmen, rode sleds, and she smiled as happily as I felt. This is why I can't accept that an illness would tear us apart. Still smiling, I stand with my cup in my hand, and look down at Beatrice.
"She'll come," I tell her firmly "you'll see."