it's a snow day today so I decided I should write a story :)

enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kogan.

There is something about him.

Maybe its the green eyes.

Or maybe its the smirk that makes me fall for him.

I don't know why I spend my days like this.

Sitting in the coffee shop, as I stare at the beautiful blonde man while he works.

God, I wish he was mine. I would do anything for him. anything.

Now I sound like a prostitute, which I am.

But I never acted this bad before.. ever.

So what is it about this man that makes me act like a total slut?

I stared at him with Love.

I know its crazy.

I'm in love with a man who doesn't even know me, he serves me coffee, but that's it, that's all we have.

I've been coming in here everyday for a month, that's when I first met him.

I fell so hard, and so fast.

I slapped myself. 'Ugh, get a hold of yourself Logan!' I told myself in my head.

It was no use though, I was doomed to love this man.

"Hey. Don't hurt yourself, You Don't deserve to be hurt." My heart stopped. He's talking to me. Kendall fucking knight is talking to me.

shit. shit. shit. I mentally cursed to myself.

"Umm..I just. uhh." He chuckled at me.

I am such an idiot.

"What's your name?" He asked from behind the counter? "You come in here a lot."

"Yeah I do. I guess I come here to think.." I lied. "I'm Logan."

He smiled at me.

My heart fluttered.

"Beautiful name. I'm Kendall."

I blushed.

he called me beautiful!

'No he didn't, he said your name was beautiful' My thoughts took away my confidence.

"Thanks. yeah I know your name." I chuckled as he raised an eyebrow. "Your name tag" I said pointing to his name tag.

"ohhh yeahhh." He slapped his forehead.

"Hey. Don't hurt yourself, You Don't deserve to be hurt" I said in a mocking voice.

He stuck his tongue out at me.

I laughed. I love this man.

We stared at each other until it was time for me to leave. I grabbed another coffee, then said goodbye.

He gave me his number before I left. I was in shock.

but wait.

Does this mean he likes me or does he know I'm a prostitute and just wants sex?

I sighed as a tear slipped from my brown puppy dog eyes.

He just wanted to use me.

The guy I love..

I quit my job. well, kinda.

I didn't actually tell my boss I quit, I can just call him later. But right now, I just feel like drowning in my sorrow.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought he felt the same? He's Kendall Knight, he doesn't love me.

Not like I love him.

I ripped his number up and put it into the small trash can.

I plopped down onto my bed and groaned.

Maybe I deserved this..

I hated it, but maybe I should've seen this coming.

I laid down and rested my pounding head on the soft pillow, crying myself to sleep.

When I woke up the next day I didn't feel like going back to the coffee shop, so I went to the park.

I continued to do this every morning.

I tried getting the green-eyed boy out of my head, but I couldn't.

After months of going without seeing him I decided to suck it up.

I found my way to the familiar coffee shop.

When I stepped through the door I was met with a pair of hurt eyes.

"Hey..." I whispered, not sure if he heard.

"Logie, where have you been? why haven't you called me? I've waited for you for months." He said with a look of pain.

"I didn't want to be a one night stand..." I looked down at my feet as I spoke.

"dammit Logie, I would never hurt you like that. I don't care what you do, or did in the past. I wanted you forever. I wanted you to be mine. I wanted to grow old with you.. I wanted you to feel the same.." He softly spoke, like I was going to break or something.

"I do. I want the same." I looked up at him. Tears where in his eyes. This was breaking my heart.

"It's to late.. I moved on." He said sternly.

"You can't do this.. I chose you"

He shook his head. "You should go."

I shook as tears poured down my face. "No. No, you can't do this! Who?! who are you with?" I yelled, pushing him back.

"It doesn't matter! you didn't call Logan! you left me wondering."

"It does matter, It does! I didn't want to be a fuck Kendall!"

"I would never use you like that! Logie, I loved you the moment you first walk into this stupid coffee shop. I wanted to quit this stupid job! but I stayed, so I could see you." He looked into my eyes. "I moved on, and so should you"

"I can't Kendall! I finally found someone who I love, and he moved on. I am so stupid. Why couldn't you wait? why couldn't you come find me?" I asked backing away from him.

"It isn't that simple. I thought I scared you away.." He trailed off.

"So you moved on?" I sounded hurt, I was.

"Logan.. I'm sorry okay. She's a nice girl and if you could just-" I cut him off.

"I can't do this." I ran out of the coffee shop.

Tears streaming down my face.

How could I have been so stupid? Why didn't I just suck it up and text him.

My vision became blurry and I dropped to my knees.

My hands covered my face as I cried.

Love is so complicated, so pointless.

He said he loved me.

But he moved on so fast, how could he just move on like that?

I screamed in pain.

My heart ached, I hate this feeling.

I pulled my hair as I shook.

'Stupid. stupid. stupid' I told myself.

I slapped myself, remembering the convo I had with Kendall the first time we talked.

I missed that. But it was nothing anymore.

Not to him, maybe to me, but to him.. it was a joke.

I got up off of the ground and ran to my apartment building.

I rode the elevator up to the roof.

Walking to the edge of the building an image of Kendall flashed a crossed my mind.

This isn't how I picture it.

I didn't think that at the age of twenty-one I'd be committing suicide, but here I am. Up here on top of the world with tears pouring down my pale face. Ready to jump, and end all the suffering.

"I can't move on Kendall. I can't do it." I whispered. I took a deep breath, then jumped.

I didn't fall.

Why wasn't I falling?

I turned my head to see Kendall holding onto me.

He pulled me back and we fell to the ground. "I can't either." He was shaking, and so was I.

"You did though." I cried out.

"No. I could never move on from someone so perfect." He whispered.

"What about her?" I asked.

"SHE, is my mom." He chuckled.

"Your dating your mom?" I asked with a look of confusion.

"No. Gross, I moved on for my mom. She hated seeing me broken." He laughed. "I'm dating you" He captured my lips with his.

That's the moment I realized Love isn't nothing.

Its everything.

Kendall Knight, is my everything.

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