Hello everyone!
I decided to upload the first chapter of 'You Know I Love You' today as a birthday gift to myself. :) This is my first serious foray in fan fiction since I usually write original stories.
It's also an Alternate Universe story and some elements may not fit with the canon characters, places or episodes. Like in the preview I posted, it's a soul mate story with a happy ending (I think? :D)
Warnings will be posted before each chapter if there's something that may be triggering (You never know!). Chapter word count won't be posted but at the time of uploading Chapter one, it's over 60,000 words!
Here we go: Chapter 1: Senior Year.
Warning(s): references to past minor character death, brief language and reference to teen sex
Review and comments are more than welcome.
Third week of August, 20XX
Kurt Hummel was officially a senior, waking up on his first day of senior year at William McKinley high school and already dreading it.
Shoving off the light blankets, it was still warm weather and luckily it was going to be a cool day, Kurt dragged himself to the bathroom then to his closet where his uniform was hanging. Plain grey trousers, not pleated thank goodness, white button down and a cardigan bearing the school's shield stitched with red and white thread. Of course, if you had your soul mate tattoo on your wrist, you were able to a band to cover it. Or you could break with the practice and show it off which many students did.
He didn't like the uniform and wish he could wear something different. Even the Cheerios, the cheerleading club at the school, were able to wear their cheer uniforms on game days; a lucky break from the rather ugly uniform the school board voted on nearly two decades ago.
Apparently, or so Kurt gathered from the few times he heard from classmates' parents during Open House in elementary school, the idea of gangs and gang violence in innocent little Lima, Ohio was enough to start implementing the use of school uniforms. To Kurt, it was just a way of institutionalizing school life and he didn't like that part at all. He preferred his fashionable clothing and had a closet full of clothes and a large dresser filled with accessories. Privately he kept a locked online blog that had all of his outfits complete with detailed listings on each item worn. It was tedious work but he was happy to experiment with different articles of clothing.
Kurt yanked on his trousers, zipped and buttoned them up and slipped a brown leather belt through loops then expertly knotted the tie under the up turned collar. There was no wrist band for him since he had yet to get his 'mate's name. He looked like he was ready for church or to head to an office job. He made a face in the bathroom mirror as he styled his hair.
Upstairs, the house was quiet and almost eerie if he wasn't used to it.
His mother had died when he was in third grade and his father never remarried. Kurt missed her desperately in the beginning and with the start of high school, he had no one.
Kurt, despite his somewhat feminine appearance and well spoken ways, had no one to call a friend much less a best friend.
It wasn't that he didn't try, it was hard to be honest with himself about what he was and it was hard to be that way with a stranger. They will judge and make snap decisions and that made Kurt physically cringe.
His father Burt Hummel, owned his own business a tire repair shop where he worked long hours. Burt left early in the morning, the only sign of him left behind was an empty coffee mug and a plate with some toast crumbs. Being a small business owner meant that he had to work long hours, getting there early and working late into the evening.
To Kurt it felt like he and his dad were two people living in one house. Kurt missed talking with someone; he had no siblings and with his father out of the house for most of the day and part of the evening. There were times where he wondered what it would like to have a sibling whether they be older or younger.
What Kurt did want aside from friends was someone to love him for who he was. There wasn't exactly a bustling gay community here and he was sure that he was the only gay guy in the entire high school student body. He didn't hide who he was but he made sure to keep it to himself. If someone asked, which no one ever did, he would be reluctant to admit it because of he was scared of being hurt because of it.
He liked musicals, fashion (despite the stupid uniform mandate) and cooking and baking though he had no one to cook for except himself and his dad.
His small circle of acquaintances at school rarely came over and he hardly went over their house for anything other than homework.
Kurt was a loner and after his mom died, he tended to keep to himself. He couldn't blame his friends too much and would honestly have done the same. What does a person do when a friend's mother dies? What do you say? It didn't really help that he was just that different compared to the rest of the boys in his grade. All they talked about was their erupting soul mate's name on their wrist and how they were sure it was going to be the hottest girl ever. He didn't care, he had a plan that didn't immediately involve his soul mate whoever they were. It'll happen when it happens.
Such thoughts rolled around in his mind occasionally when he thought about his mom especially on the first week of school.
Entering the kitchen, he made himself some toast and strawberry jam and a mug of coffee with French vanilla creamer, his one indulgence.
He wasn't really hungry and wanted to strip off his clothes and crawl back into bed and wake up on graduation day. But his dad would be pissed and at any rate, he would be stuck in high school for another year.
Dumping the half-eaten toast in the trash and leaving the dishes by the sink, he went to brush his teeth and grab his school bag leaning against his desk.
With his loafers on and giving himself one last once over in the mirror by the front door and his keys in hand, Kurt sighed and tried to give his reflection a smile.
Him smiling a failure, he locked up the house and got into his seventeenth birthday present, a pre-owned ("It's a used car, Dad.") Ford Escape sitting in the drive way. He sits in the car for several minutes before turning the ignition and backing out into the street.
Burt Hummel was a guy's guy, he liked cars and a beer with his football games. Kurt wasn't exactly the ideal son but he loved him just the same which Kurt was inwardly thankful for. And when it came time for Kurt to learn how to drive and maintenance his own vehicle, Burt took off a couple of days to teach him the basics.
That was the last time the son and father had any time together where it was just the two of them being guys despite Kurt's own personal interests.
Kurt could look after his car and himself and that worked out for Burt well. Kurt was after all, a male version of his dearly departed wife with his chestnut locks, blue-green eyes and pale skin that would burn in the heat and rays of the sun. It hurt to look at his son sometimes but the majority of the time, he was ever grateful for his Kurt.
Pulling into the student parking lot parked with a gum covered metal sign courtesy of the local kids, Kurt found a space far enough away from the newbie drivers fresh from the Department of Motor Vehicle's licensing area. He didn't want some kid to dent his precious car.
"Hey Hummel!" Mercedes shouted side stepping some kids heading inside to catch up with him and nudged him with her elbow. She was a pretty girl that had dark skin, hair and eyes and a fabulous sense of what looked good on her despite her generous stature. 'Cedes, as she sometimes referred to herself, had an amazing voice and loved the stage as much as him; she was a good friend and Kurt trusted her enough that they used to have sleepovers in elementary school and in middle school. Somewhere between eight and ninth grades, those happy times dropped off. They were still friendly with one another and it was nice to see a familiar face. It was a dark time for Kurt and inwardly shivering, he pushed those thoughts away.
"Good morning, Mercedes." Kurt offered a smile that fell flat but Mercedes was already looking in another direction where some more of their fellow Glee Club members were standing.
"What classes do you have? You never emailed me what periods you were in." Mercedes dragged him over where the short brunette girl and tall boy were by the school entrance.
"Oh, I totally forgot, there were some things that came up and I just forgot." Kurt grimaced mostly at himself at the terrible excuse he was giving.
"Whatever, so what are you in?" She asked giving the boy, Finn Hudson and his girlfriend Rachel Berry a nod.
"Um, I've got Math every day, gym three days a week and…" Kurt glanced between his schedule and Mercedes. "I don't think we have anything together."
"Darn, I need someone to help me with my Spanish." Mercedes didn't quite pout. "Unfortunately I'm sticking with just French this year." Kurt shrugged and was admittedly disappointed when he saw his pal only had Spanish on her the cuff of her navy blue cardigan, he spotted the pink zebra striped wrist band instead of the black leather band with white crystal detail she had last year. Did she find her soul mate? Before he could compliment her about the new accessory, Rachel Berry popped up.
"Well, I'm looking forward to this year's musical performances put on by our club." Rachel said brightly thrusting Finn's schedule, wrinkled and creased from his constant handling, in his direction without taking her eyes off Kurt.
Kurt remembered that Rachel hated the idea of uniforms but managed to look like an innocent virgin in hers. It was a bit ironic considering that most girls their age lost it and lost it quickly to their first boyfriend. Rachel was no different but didn't flaunt it like she was cheap. Her dads were firm believers in not throwing yourself around.
Kurt got the 'talk' from his dad as well, over the phone one awkward Sunday night when he was going over some important paperwork. Then to make matters worse, Burt had called up the school physician and nurse so that they could explain the mechanics of how 'it' went.
Mortifying didn't being to cover how he felt that night, week and moment in his life.
He was fifteen at the time and thought there couldn't be anything worse than his own father calling up the school so the token gay kid could be educated. There was the Internet but there was no convincing his father otherwise. It wasn't like Kurt didn't have a clue. Boys talk in the locker room, loudly in fact. They gossip as much as girls do but Kurt wasn't about to tell any straight guy they blabbed as much as a girl…
The first warning bell rang a sharp sound in the air and the four students headed for their lockers. Luckily for Kurt, he had the same numbered locker since he started here, number 315B. The locker next to his was vacated and didn't have the shiny new lock like Kurt's was about to have. He liked shopping and getting new things. His first purchase at the office supply store was a new combination lock; he had too many jerks scribbling profanities and disgusting slurs on his locker.
He unlatched the door and shoved in his math book, history book and tucked his science book and English textbook under his arm. Kurt slipped in his two notebooks into his book bag and slammed the locker shut.
Turning on his heel, he stepped into the river of students, bumping into a few slow straggling freshmen until he reached his English class room.
And so begins a monotonous day, he thought sliding into the first empty seat.
After a slow morning of teacher introductions and homework assignments for his English and Science classes, Kurt made a mad dash to the cafeteria for lunch and nearly mowed down a freshman in the process.
Ignoring the kid's curse, Kurt slipped into the line and picked out a boxed salad and an apple juice. Normally he liked to pack his own lunch but lately he was feeling anxious about returning to school.
The cafeteria was already sectioned off by the various cliques: Asian study group sat around two tables in the far corner by the wall of windows, the cheerleaders with their hair pulled back in pony tails gathered around three tables pushed together in the center of the room and the athletes of various teams commandeered the corner opposite the first group.
The Glee club members, Finn and Rachel were saving seats at a single table far enough away from the rowdy group of jocks. Normally Finn was with them but apparently was strong armed into sitting with his girlfriend.
Rachel Berry was vocal, emotional (but then she was a girl so…?), and surprisingly intimidating in some aspects. A self-proclaimed star of the stage, she was Kurt's rival for solos and songs. They both had powerful voices, attention grabbing stage presence but Kurt always lost out the solos and roles he wanted to her or Finn.
Sometimes he hated her luck and other times, he was ashamed to admit that she was better than him. Not that he would tell her that, she really didn't need the ego boost.
Now, should he go out to the theater and shovel down his lunch there or risk his ears with Rachel's shrill voice?
Dammit, he thought and winced as someone pushed by him to their own seat. Rachel spotted him and was standing up and waving to him.
Might as well make this awful day continue with a not so great lunch, Kurt made his way to the Rachel and Finn table and sat down.
He cracked the seal on his juice and carefully removed the lid from the small container of vinegar dressing. The uniforms weren't cut to be figure flattering but Kurt knew that fitting into his everyday clothes on the weekend was important to him. He made sure to eat relatively healthy at school whether it be bringing his own food and snacks or picking the least visually offensive healthy choice in the lunch line. There was no way on Earth would willingly eat the tater tots or lunch special of the day, the latter being a 'grilled' burger patty with mashed potatoes and gravy.
Even then the lettuce leaves were a bit wilted and the carrots had a little crunch to them. He managed to choke them down as Rachel rambled on about her classes and the possible songs she could sing at the school's talent show every winter.
Me, me, me, Kurt rolled his eyes up to the ceiling as he sipped his juice. He could see Finn out of the corner of his eye with his head down submissively.
Geez, does she even stop to breath, Kurt speared a soft red beet and bit into the sugary vegetable.
"So, Kurt, what happened over the summer with you? I heard you went traveling with your dad." Rachel interrupted the parade of thoughts in Kurt's mind.
Kurt shrugged, "Oh you know, busy with homework, cleaning the house and whatnot. I did hang out with my dad while he was in Columbus for a few days. It was nice to spend time with him."
"Oh, well at least you got to spend time with him not everyone gets that." Finn chewed his cheese pizza with his mouth open.
"Finn, gross!" Rachel made a face. Finn looked ashamed and dropped the cardboard thin pizza on his tray. "Sorry, baby."
"Are you coming to the club after school?" Rachel quickly changed the subject; she was aware of how Kurt felt about his father working all the time; it was difficult for a single parent to raise a kid and probably even harder when they're self-employed. She was incredibly lucky to have two parents that gave her attention and were financially stable.
"I guess, I mean, I can't miss the first meeting." Kurt replied slowly pushing around the pale tasteless lettuce; he tried to get the best looking salads but with school budgets it was impossible. Hell, most of the students ate tater tots and soda for lunch. Finn's disgusting looking pizza was one of the better choices.
"Good. Whoops, there's the bell! I'll see you there!" Rachel chirped grabbing her tray with a half eaten veggie wrap she brought from home. Finn obediently followed her, lumbering behind the tiny girl where it was almost hilarious.
"Hey fairy boy!" A jeering voice startled Kurt out of his trance.
Of course, the stupid jocks that thought they were total comedians. He stood up and gave the ringleader an exasperated stare. "Spare me from your bullshit." Kurt said flatly marching off to dump his salad and tray at the bins.
The shouts and calls trailed after him as he headed to his math class. He had study hall for the rest of the day after that and he was looking forward to heading to the theater to practice his scales. Until Rachel came in and interrupted him with how she sounded and how she could help Kurt with his own voice, etc.
He hated to sound so bitter but frankly he was tired of Rachel's overbearing moments like that and he had the rest of the school year to put up with it.
But he should not be like that when other people have less than him and were in less pleasant situations.
Pushing open the door into the math lab on the south block of the campus, he found a seat on the far side of room where he could see the board. The entire first row was occupied by the Asian students and the odd non-Asian girl. Surprise, surprise, Kurt thought getting out his notebook, calculator and pencil from his book bag.
The teacher, Mr. Tsuchida, came in a few minutes later, extremely bright and cheery about the first day of class to the point where Kurt wanted to chuck his heavy textbook at the man's head. Math wasn't his strong subject and Tsuchida's overly perky smile was kind of annoying and made him daydream to the point of slumber.
Math was another long boring class to stay awake in.
Covering a yawn then stretching his arms over his head, Kurt stood on the stage in the theater imagining the audience in their very best outfits giving him a standing ovation.
At the moment he didn't feel like singing. He wasn't in the mood and the feeling that this year would be just like the last was making him feel depressed. The chance of getting the lead or a decent part in the couple of musicals the school had money to produce was slim to none much less getting a headline in the winter talent show held in mid December.
It was times like this where he wished he had a different life and not the one he was stuck in at this very moment.
One where his mother was still alive and his dad kept regular hours at the car shop down town. A close group of friends and maybe, just maybe another gay boy that he could befriend and talk about what it's like to be gay and living in Lima Ohio.
But he doesn't have any of that and…
Only ten more months of high school and you're done with it, Kurt reminded himself not hearing the door open to the seating portion of the auditorium.
"Kurt!" Rachel called loudly, her voice echoing in the large room's high ceilings. She ran down the low level stairs to edge of the stage.
"Hi Rachel." Kurt said pasting on a small smile. Shoving his hands into his trouser pockets, he had a sinking feeling that Rachel wanted them to sing a duet. In reality that meant that he backed her vocals whenever she pointed at him or gave him a look when they were practicing. She was a little overbearing and there were times that Kurt wished he had the confidence and mean-ness inside him to say something but every time he looked at her face, those brown eyes looked so innocent, he couldn't do it and just rolled his eyes. Rachel was Rachel.
"Did you finish study hall early? I've heard something really interesting!"
She hurried around to the short set of stairs on either side of the stage so she could tell Kurt properly.
"How interesting? I doubt there are any good rumors that top the one about
's customized lawn mower that nearly ran down the mayor's tiny dog, which he does not deny." Puck was on the football team last year with Finn and was a tall, slightly intimidating fellow who happened to get roped into glee club with Finn by Mr. Schuester.
Rachel beamed brightly before clutching her hands together so hard that her knuckles were white. "I heard from a very reliable source that there's going to be a new student transferring here. Rumor has it that they were kicked out of their old school for fighting!" She bounced on the balls of her feet knowing that she had a great bit of gossip.
Kurt blinked a few times. "Isn't that a typical reason for moving to a new school? I mean, aside from having to move or other more personal reasons."
The brunette frowned and shrugged her blazer covered shoulders; the female students had the same dress shirt and tie with the option of a blazer or cardigan. "I suppose but it's interesting because the gossip says they were coming here because they were so attractive it caused hourly scuffles."
"Now that is just ridiculous." Kurt rolled his eyes and began to walk across the stage his black loafers clicking lightly on the wood. "I doubt there was such a thing."
Rachel trailed after him with a bounce to her step. "Well it's fun to think about, school does get boring after a while even if it is the first week."
Rachel all but dragged him to the choir room where the Glee club met not long after she finished chattering about the new transfer. Kurt was sure that Rachel was barely aware that he was listening and she would probably carry on a conversation (one sided of course) with an inanimate object. He would never admit it aloud much less to Rachel herself but he felt sorry for Finn. It was good that Finn was so easy going despite being part of the football team. Well, sports tryouts were going to happen eventually and Finn was bound to make the team again. Aside from football there was the baseball team, girl's softball, among others. Kurt tended to avoid all sports related extra curricular activities and clubs; he valued his face and appreciated the way it was arranged.
The choir room was almost twice the size of a regular classroom and had a variety of musical instruments, music stands, sheet music and variety of books about music and composers in a few bookcases. On the opposite side of the room was tiered levels where hard plastic chairs were spread out.
Most of them were occupied with students from the previous year but there were a couple new faces in the front row. "Hey, Kurt, welcome back." Mister Schuester greeted as Rachel took her own seat in the front row next to Finn.
Kurt nodded and tried to put on a pleasant face. "Let's get started," Mr. Shuester said clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. "We have some new members of the Glee club, Sam Evans and Mike Chang!"
Everyone applauded except Rachel did it half heartedly, she was giving the new kids a look that read 'You better not be trying out for Finn's solos!'
Kurt was happy there was new blood but it meant it was twice as likely he wouldn't be getting a solo. He had no idea if Sam or Mike were decent singers and only knew they were on the football team with Finn. It was alright, he already learned not to get his hopes up over silly little things like getting a good part in musicals or solos in the club.
"Welcome, guys." Rachel popped out of her chair and stood with her hands by her side. "It's nice to have more people in the club, especially since most of us will be graduating in June!"
Sam, the tall blond with a generous mouth, glanced at Finn who gave him a tiny shrug. Mike, the tall Asian fellow looked confused. It wasn't the first time Rachel's oblivious to other people and their opinions; she once wore a deer sweater to one of the biggest parties in the summer and everyone thought it was the ugliest thing they ever seen. And Rachel thought everyone like it.
Schuester began talking about the upcoming programs the Glee club was going to put on; Kurt's mind began to drift. He thought about the amount of reading he was going to do, the upcoming projects that will be assigned and it was kind of sad that he was excited over things like that.
Boys his age were interested in more material things even gay kids like himself. He should be obsessed with fashion and music and getting a boyfriend.
It could be possible he was depressed.
"Kurt?"
Snapping out of his depressing reverie, Kurt gave a weak smile. "Sorry, I was day dreaming."
Schuester continued on. "I'll put together a few choices for musicals and next meeting we will all vote on them, alright." Mercedes and Tina let out a cheer and laughed at each other.
Well, I'm sure this will be fun, Kurt kept his smile on his face as Rachel volunteered to sing first.