You're scared. Not for yourself, but for those around you. For Toni, who is the last person to judge you for your condition or your intelligence. For Clint, who is easy to talk to and understands what it's like for your brain to be scooped out unwillingly and have your will replaced by a monster's. (Hulk isn't a monster, Toni had told you, he's more like a child. He seems to listen to me, and I'm trying to introduce him to the others. So far its a success. He won't hurt us.) But she doesn't know. The guilt weighs you down at almost killing Black Widow.

You scream as the monster roars in anger.

~*Avengers*~

You wake up in a cold sweat. The sheets puddle around your body as you sit up slowly, a wave of nausea hitting you. You got out of bed immediately and run to the bathroom, fortunately making it to the toilet as you puke out what remains of your dinner. Bile scratches at your throat, making you gag at the horrible flavour on the back of your tongue. Once you finish, you rest your head against the cool porcelain, trying to breathe through the fear. Fear leads to anger, and only disaster happens when you get angry.

Finally you find the nerve to get up, flushing the toilet as you go to the sink to wash out your mouth. When you look up in the mirror, for a second you see a flash of green in your eyes. Green. The color itself makes your stomach churn in unease. It passes quickly as you look closer and gratefully see dull brown eyes stare back at you. You leave the bathroom and crawl back into bed. Its hours later when you fall into a dreamless sleep.

~*Avengers*~

"Dr. Banner, you have a visitor."

"Who is it, JARVIS?" you ask the AI, one of your only companions is your self-imposed exile.

"Agent Romanov, Doctor."

You feel the blood drain from your face. What does she want? you ask yourself, worried. "What does she need?" you ask JARVIS, hoping he can get an answer from the ex-spy.

"She refuses to speak to anyone but you," JARVIS responds.

You sigh. "Let her in, please," you ask the AI. You hear the doors to your lab (you were willing to share with Toni, but she insisted you have a lab for your own work) hiss open. You don't turn around to greet your visitor, instead continuing to work on your research. You know there's no more hope for getting rid of the monster, but you will do everything in your power to try and control it (even if it kills you).

"Dr. Banner," Agent Romanov said, standing right behind you. You don't even flinch anymore. "Dr. Banner." You continue to ignore her. "Bruce." That makes you freeze. There's emotion spoken in your name. That's when you realize that Black Widow is showing you a part of herself that is seen by a rare few. This is her way of showing that she trusts you.

And it scares you more than anything.

You turn around to look her in the eye. Her eyes really were a pretty shade of green— "Is there something you need, Agent Romanov?" you ask cooly, trying to keep your emotions in check.

"You haven't left the lab in weeks. You need to get out and be with your team."

You huff and look down at your shoes. "I don't think they really want to be around me."

"Sure they do. I know for sure Clint likes you—"

"He has Phil—"

"—and Toni—"

"—she has her bots and Steve—"

"Toni and Steve aren't together."

You snort. For a spy, she didn't see the most obvious thing. "They have this... attraction. At the moment, it's in the form of friendship. But I'm willing to bet anything that they will end up together at some point."

Natasha nods thoughtfully, eyes never straying from your face. Your natural reaction is to blush. You never had someone as attractive as Natasha look at you for as long as she has. You remember the bullies who tormented you throughout life, making fun of your intelligence. The popular girls always cheered them on, their spite outshining whatever outer beauty they had. But it was different with Natasha. She wasn't vindictive; she just had some darkness within her, but it only made her more beautiful in your eyes. It made you want to be like her, with her—

Before you can stop yourself, you reach across the minimal space to cup her face. She leans into the touch, maintaining eye contact. What is in her eyes gives you the courage to close the gap and brush your lips against hers. Her lips are warm and pliant against yours, but you pull back after a moment to look at Natasha, to make sure this is what she wanted. You want to continue, but you needed to be positive. You knew that once you have her, you'll never let her go. One look at her and you know that this is what she wants too.

~*Avengers*~

Later, when you leave the lab to go the common rooms to eat dinner (with your fingers entwined with Natasha's), everyone greets you with a smile and a clap on the back. As you sit down next to Natasha, you squeeze her hand, hoping she'll understand the message. She confirms this with a squeeze in return.

You were right.

I know.