Chapter One: Newfound Freedom
Luke barely slept the night after the battle of Yavin.
His life had been completely turned upside down in a matter of days; it was all one big blur of excitement and adventure – adventure he had only dreamed about while watching the twin suns set on Tatooine.
He could not believe that he had just gone from being a boring-old-nobody (his greatest worries being whether or not he could get to Tosche Station before they closed shop) to flying in actual combat with the Rebellion - all without attending the Naval Academy with his friends. He laughed to himself, remembering his own incessant whining about leaving farm to attend, each time Uncle Owen shooting him down. Maybe his uncle was right, in the end.
It was best that he hadn't gone to the Academy, even if it meant losing every friend he had on Tatooine. Though he had hated slaving away for his Uncle on that dustball of a planet, and had prayed for the chance to leave home forever, Luke was glad that he had not gone, because he now knew he'd have been working for the wrong side. Knowing what he knew now, it was well worth the wait.
He wondered if it was Fate that had kept him from joining the Empire. Perhaps destiny had a mysterious way of guiding one person towards and away from things that ultimately had far-reaching and disastrous effects. He was never one to believe in destiny, but lately, he wasn't sure what he believed in anymore.
Luke only thought he knew what was happening out there, but now that he was caught up in the middle of it - and was probably the Empire's most wanted man by now- he began to feel that maybe he was in a little over his sandy-haired head. Thanks to his recent awakening to the present level of intergalactic turmoil (all of which was still terrifyingly new to him), Luke decided that he would try his best to curb his level of complaining, instead turning his ear toward his new colleagues and allies so that he could learn all he could.
Afterall, Luke was now alone. He had survived, and he wanted to keep it that way. If he had to remain alone for awhile, he could deal with that.
Despite all that he'd been through recently, Luke was genuinely happy that the Rebellion had succeeded tonight. His new friends were safe, he was safe for the moment, and that at least other planets could now be spared the horrible fate of Alderaan, which reminded him…
Stars, he even managed to rescue a REAL princess, for Force sake! Luke laughed silently at himself. He couldn't believe his own gall, marching into the heart of the mechanical hive of evil that was detention block of the Death Star, rescuing her like some fabled knight. He was lucky to be in one piece. Leia could really shoot that gun better than he could.
Maybe Han was right about luck being on their side that day, though the more he thought about it, he couldn't help but feel that ol' Ben was right about the Force being stronger than luck. Gods, he missed him. There was still so much he needed to learn from Obi-wan, so many questions left unanswered.
He said that Luke should learn the ways of the Force, but so far, the only sure thing that he knew about the Force was that it made him seem crazy, even to himself.
Though he had not told anyone for fear of being told he needed to pay an emergency visit the med ward for a cranial examination, he knew that he had heard Ben call to him through the Force during the battle. There was no way that he could have made that shot without some kind of aid, and it was indeed almost crazy that he had shut off his targeting computer at the last minute – yet he had done it. The mystery and excitement of it all had him wide awake despite the late hour.
Ben had said that the Force was like a mysterious thread that bound the galaxy together. Luke wondered if he were somehow bound to Leia through the Force; somehow, from the time he saw that holo, he was drawn to her, as though he were meant to rescue Leia…it was simply too astounding that he had succeeded in doing so. It really made him wonder, as it all seemed beyond probability and logic that a farmer would rescue a princess from a military stronghold, then blow up the very same station within hours, with zero preparation.
Luke paused and wondered if Uncle Owen would have finally been proud of him for a change, risking his life to help others of greater importance than he.
All his life he had wished to leave Tatooine to fulfill a greater purpose far beyond his present circumstance, though what that was, he did not know. This feeling had tugged at him from the time he was young, making him restless and impatient with everyone around him. He also couldn't help notice that his Uncle had grown to resent him for his great desire to leave the moisture farm, saying that he was just like his father – yet, never telling him more about the other Skywalker.
Luke sighed. If only he had been there sooner, he might have saved his Aunt and Uncle. A few silent tears began to fall in the darkness as he lay awake in his bunk, thinking upon the only family that he had ever known, now taken from him forever. He was now alone and a true orphan, and his thoughts took a somber turn, eclipsing the happiness he had felt just hours before.
There was indeed a dark side to his newfound freedom, a freedom overshadowed by tragedy and loss, the gravitas of which weighed heavy on his young heart. He was happy that he had almost single-handedly brought down the Empire with the destruction of the Death Star, but was overwhelmed with the thought of so many innocent lives lost at his expense.
It was now dawning on him that in addition to all those on the space station, perhaps his Aunt and Uncle had also died because of him. After all, he had been the one whom had suggested that they exchange the defunct R-5 droid for Artoo, the source of all this trouble to begin with - though he didn't blame his new best friend for being burdened with carrying the Death Star plans.
The dank and humid cabin deep within the Yavin base seemed to grow warmer and more stifiling as the night went on, and Luke removed the thick flight shirt that he had been given to sleep in, feeling sicker by the minute. He had arrived on base with only his tattered farm clothes, and how he was stuck with scratchy military-issue duds. This Yavin humidity was almost too much for him; it was nothing like the dry desert cool of a Tatooine night. He wasn't sure if it was the humidity, or the crushing weight of his upended life and the possibility that he had just committed a heinous war crime – either way, the young man did not feel well.
Luke got up and looked at himself in the mirror; despite his pallor, he was still very tan from the Tatooine sun, and the Viridian stone in his necklace shone bright green against his skin even in the dim light. Luke clutched at the pendant, realizing that it was his only meaningful possession aside from his supposed-father's lightsaber.
He had worn the long necklace for as long as he could remember - and never removed it, concealing it always beneath the folds of his tunic. He thought perhaps it had belonged to his mother, or someone that had once loved him, unconditionally. He was content knowing that he'd never know, as with everything else in his life at the moment: all uncertainty.
His stomach lurched further as he thought of his mother, whom he had never known. Though he wasn't certain, he had surmised that she too had died because of him, losing her life just as he was born into his.
Tears dripped down his face as the young Skywalker grieved.
For his mother and father that surely had loved him before they died. For his Aunt and Uncle that had sacrificed so much to care for him. For Ben, a man that had singlehandedly changed the trajectory of his life in one day. For sweet Leia whom had now just lost not only her parents, but her entire civilization. For the men and women that he had just killed hours before and all of the children that were now orphaned. For the families he had just broken. All this was for justice, for the good of the galaxy. He was supposed to feel good about it, but right now, it felt like there was little to be happy about. For all Luke knew, he was an expendable rebel soldier - a kid without family, documentation, and property - and they'd throw him over to the Empire for the right price. There'd be nothing he could really do about it anyway. He didn't really know these people well, and he hoped that he could continue to trust the good that he somehow sensed in all of them.
There were still so many questions unanswered. Luke wished he'd had the chance to ask Obi-wan more about his true family and the Jedi Order before he had unexpectedly surrendered himself to the Force at the hands of Vader. It was the most surreal vision he had ever had, seeing a man disappear into thin air. Maybe he really was losing it.
Though, the way things were looking, (if he was already beginning to lost his mind) Luke had nothing more to lose in seeking out the ways of the Force as Obi-wan had suggested…maybe even become a Jedi like his father someday.
But, that could wait, at least for right now.
Luke was too wound up to sleep and realized that he had not eaten, nor drank anything in hours. Being upset added nothing to his already stressed system. If there was one thing he learned on the farm, it was to always drink your water any chance you got. He was ignoring his one rule, and he rose to immediately amend the situation.
On his way to the base mess hall and kitchens, Luke stopped to look in on poor Artoo's repairs. Though he knew that everyone on base would be asleep at this unholy hour, he thought Artoo would appreciate the company if he were somewhat functional again after his battle-damage from earlier that day.
He wondered if droids ever became frightened or could feel pain, and then he remembered how Threepio was afraid of almost everything. It made him very sad to think of how few people thought about the feelings of droids. Maybe these two were the exceptions - perhaps they were programmed to have emotions somehow. They seemed to, at least. Artoo was the brave one, he thought. Like a best friend, Luke could tell him anything, and he knew the droid wouldn't judge him. Someday, he thought, he would learn to understand his language of beeps and whistles - this much he owed the little guy.
Luke stopped by the window looking into the repair bay where many other unfinished droids were partially dismantled. It looked like a scary place to be a droid. He could see that Artoo was not on standby reserve power, but shut down completely, his inner circuitry hanging out of his power core, half repaired.
"Awww. It'll be ok, Artoo, I know they'll fix you up, and if they say they can't, I'll do it myself" said Luke to himself, knowing Artoo couldn't hear him.
He paused, then said with a smile,
"You wouldn't want old Threepio to have all the fun bothering Han all by himself now, would you?", he laughed, then noticed the reflection in the glass of someone behind him, watching. Luke was mortified that someone had heard him talking to no one.
Waving at him through the glass of the med ward across the hall was a young woman that he had never seen before, covered in bacta patches and hooked up to various IV units. She must have sensed his momentary bewilderment at seeing her, and calmly gestured for him to come in.
There were so few women on this base – just Leia and Mon Mothma - he was sure that he would have remembered her…then it hit him – he vaguely recalled seeing someone being taken off of the Falcon on a med-stretcher after they had returned to base from the trench run earlier that day. Their excitement was so great that he completely forgot about the injured passenger.
He now recalled that Leia had told him that the woman had been the one who had delivered the Death Star plans to her aboard the Tantive IV. Her escape pod had crashed and sent a distress signal to the base; as Rogue Squadron was dispatched into battle, Leia convinced Han to check the crash site before he'd be given his full reward. It was a good thing she had sent him (and a good thing that he likes his credits), because this woman looked as though she might not have lasted another day without medical attention, so pale and weak was she in appearance.
In a way, she saved Luke's life that day – had Han not been sent to rescue her, he never would have had any reason to turn back toward Yavin to assist Luke in the final moments of the battle.
"Wonderful", he thought to himself as he approached the airlock, "the night a beautiful woman decides to talk to me, alone, I'm out roaming around shirtless and feeling grungier than the floor of the Mos Eisley Cantina". He suddenly gestured for her to wait a minute, remembering why he left his cabin in the first place…and quickly ran to the kitchen, returning with two glasses of cloudy water.
The medical droid allowed Luke entry into the medical bay, and he offered the woman the glass. "You can never have too much water, you know…even if it is base water", he said with a goofy smirk.
"Thank you, Commander Skywalker, that is very true – I found that out the hard way. My name is Rue Gunari", said the woman who Luke could now tell was about his age, but maybe just a bit younger.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, please call me Luke….may I call you Rue?" he asked.
"Yes, please do. It seems that my escape pod landed on Tatooine, and I was stranded there for a few days after I escaped the ship." She paused looked at her IV tubes, covering the IV bruise on her unbandaged hand so that he might not see it.
"The pod was from the Tantive IV and the distress signal was luckily sent here, though I had no idea who might receive the signal. I don't think the Imperials would have bothered to come and get me had they intercepted it anyway. If they had, they probably would have killed me, despite my status as a Lieutenant on the Star Destroyer Vengeance. Anyway, I saw what these plans were really all about, and I did what I thought was right – I didn't get into this to kill people, but I guess that was going to happen no matter what I did that day. It almost ended up costing me my own life on Tatooine."
Luke listened to her. She seemed to really want someone to talk to right now. He figured that she had probably been alone for days, not to mention that her solitude was on Tatooine. It was the worst…and something he understood far too well.
"I'm so sorry to hear that", said Luke, "but I'm glad that you're alright. Tatooine is the last place you want to be stranded alone and without water!"
"Alone, without water, and sliced to the bone…" said Rue, a somber look running across her beautiful but blood-drained face.
She continued, "The pod had crashed into a craggy and desolate area of the planet - "
"Beggar's Canyon?" interrupted Luke.
"Yes, I believe that's right, how'd you know that?!" said Rue. Luke just smiled a little smile before she continued telling her tale.
"The landing was rougher than the older pod was designed for and much of it was crumpled around me when the landing cushions did not fully deploy. If I tried to move, the broken edges just cut deeper. My hand was crushed beneath heaviest part of the pod, and unfortunately a large portion of the debris pinned me into my seat. I could not free myself, so I activated the distress signal, and waited… and after a few days…prayed to die, to be quite honest." She put a heavily bandaged hand to her chest where Luke guessed her wounds were also most severe, judging by her bulky bacta dressings.
Luke winced at thought of crashing in Beggar's Canyon. He surely had cheated death each and every time he raced there with Biggs, threading the eye of the needle in his T-16, brushing within an inch of death certain destruction. "How stupid," he thought, reflecting on his younger, naive risks. Yet, had he not taken those risks - he thought - the trench run would have been impossible for him, and the Empire would still be ruling the galaxy. It's funny how some things end up being blessings in disguise, he mused.
Sometimes certain risks are worth taking.
Snapping him back to the present, Rue continued. "Had Captain Solo not come to my aid, I would have soon died from blood loss, or dehydration, surely."
"Or…you'd have been eaten," added Luke, immediately regretting the addition of this information.
"Yeah, I didn't even think of that, but I'm glad I did not become lunch," said Rue. "You know, I don't even want to know!" said she, with a dismissive swat of her good hand at her new acquaintance. It was quite cute, and Luke chuckled at her gesture.
She continued, "Thanks to a bacta submersion and these patches, they say I'll make a full recovery - though these med droids say that I'll likely be permanently scarred. They sure have a way of being blunt about it…"
She looked away from Luke and his perfect tan skin and the beautiful green stone he wore around his neck, catching the light and refracting beautiful patterns.
"So much for beauty," she said with a sigh.
"Lieutenant…please don't talk like that… you are…if I may say with all due respect - ", Luke hesitated…"an attractive woman. I know you must not feel that way right now, and though doesn't mean much at all coming from me, please don't bring yourself down like that. I -"
"-Well…" she smiled, meeting his concerned gaze, "if the hero of the rebellion thinks I'm ok…well, now, that almost makes this whole fiasco worth it," she laughed, a little color returning to her wan cheeks.
"Oh I don't know about this whole hero thing", said Luke, sheepishly. "I'm just here to be a pilot, really," said Luke, suddenly much more excited. "I always dreamed of attending the Naval Academy while growing up on Tatooine…but my Uncle wouldn't allow it." Now he stopped himself. He was complaining again.
Rue thought about interjecting about the Academy, but it was his turn to talk. There'd be plenty of time to talk about that later…she hoped.
"Sadly, he and my Aunt were murdered by Imperial troops looking for my little comrade, Artoo-Detoo, over there across the hall, "
"I'm so sorry, Luke, said Gunari. "I must admit though, it was very touching hearing you speak to Artoo through the glass – I've never seen someone with so much devotion to a droid before. It's very endearing."
Luke's cheeks were now the ones turning crimson.
"Aww well, he's as much of a friend as anyone I've ever known, he said with a smile that quickly faded. "...now that Biggs is dead too", said Luke, as his brilliant azure eyes becoming sadder.
"We bought Artoo and Threepio , the talkative gold droid, to help out on the farm – we were moisture farmers, you see- not knowing that they were both stolen property….and definitely not suspecting that Artoo was carrying your stolen plans", Luke explained.
"I stumbled upon Leia's message, and soon after, Artoo set off across the desert to carry out his mission to deliver the plans, and I followed him with Threepio. Had I not done so, I'd have been killed too. It is all one giant coincidence that I am here at all."
Rue didn't know what to say.
It was ultimately because of her actions that Luke's family had died.
Had she chosen to be a good Lieutenant and follow the rules, this would have never happened.
Had anything come of the years of empty promises fed to her at the Academy and within the Captain's private quarters, perhaps she'd be the First Officer by now, and could have put a stop to this. Somehow.
This was wishful thinking, she knew.
There was no room for a female commander in the Imperial ranks, despite years of thinking she'd succeed. The only thing she could have done to affect anything was to do what she had already done. If she had not acted, who knew how many other systems would have suffered the fate of Alderaan. It was just wrong, no matter what side you were on.
"Luke….I know that nothing I say can change what happened to you, but I want you to know that I am incredibly sorry for your loss…a loss that happened ultimately because of….my actions -"
"-No Rue", said Luke matter-of-factly as he grasped her non-bandaged left hand. "You could not have known that. You did what you did for a very good reason, and because of you, the Death Star is no longer a threat to the galaxy. I know that the loss of my aunt and uncle is still nothing compared to the loss of entire planets and species, though I am just as devastated as Leia at the loss of her entire planet."
"Please, don't be sorry for me", he said softly with a sad smile that could not hide sad eyes… and then yawned, breaking the tension in the room.
"Well I know one thing's for certain, looks like you need your beauty sleep…farmboy!", said Rue, teasingly. "You just destroyed the galaxy's most fearsome super weapon…what in space are you doing up at this hour anyway?!"
Luke gave her a tired little smirk and rolled his eyes, jestingly. "Well, for one, I'm talking to you, Miss Gunari. I'm a restless sleeper these days, but maybe that was because you needed someone to talk to…that's my job now, talk less, listen more."
"Ooh well then, Skywalker", she replied, somewhat flirtatiously, "I'm flattered that you would think that. I'll be here all week if you are dying to be an ear for more late night Imperial gossip!"
"Yes ma'am!" said her visitor with a grin and a mock salute.
He was acting like a real moof-milker, but she thought it was insanely cute.
"You're in luck, because we aren't going anywhere just yet", said Luke as he stood up to leave.
"The loss of the Death Star was enough of a crippling blow to buy us a bit of time before the base demands relocation…. I'm, ah, not really sure that I should be talking about this particular aspect with you though, I'm sorry…" Luke trailed off, a bit caught off guard, remembering her Imperial affiliation.
"Luke, it's ok. I know you have no reason to fully trust me. I am an Imperial Lieutenant…well…a former one, at any rate."
He regained his composure, and took a step closer to her, taking her hand in his again.
"Well, Imperial or not…" said Luke, as their eyes met.
He gently lifted her hand toward his lips as he leaned down.
"I'm not afraid…"
And kissed her hand.
"…of the woman that saved my life. Twice."
Rue did not know what to say to that, so instead she felt content to turn to an even greater pile of mushy gush than she already was in this med ward.
Turning to leave, Luke said, "Goodnight, Miss Gunari".
"Goodnight, farmboy", said Rue, cocking an eyebrow at him, which was about all she could manage do after that very unexpected and sweet kiss.
Rue watched him leave the room, and caught him glancing back through the window with a gleam in his eye, just as he walked out of view. Rue let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding, bit her lip, and then allowed herself to smile. If that was how one recovered on the rebel base, she might not mind staying in here an extra few days afterall, she said to herself, her thoughts now racing despite the drugs she was being pumped with.
She suddenly felt so tired, which was odd - she hadn't felt worn out at all while Luke was there. Maybe he is a good distraction from all of the pain. Maybe he is more than that…no, she couldn't go there, not with all that was at stake.
As tired as she now realized she was, there was still no wiping the smile off of her now rosy face.
That kiss.
And it was just on the hand.
"Oh, pull yourself together, Gunari."
As good of a lover as he had been, Captain Thrawn had never kissed her like that before.