Nothing is worse than knowing you MIGHT die in the near future. Not knowing if you'll be dead in an hour or so, or if you will be simply forced to continue the torture that is living.
I've seen simply too much for a sixteen year old to handle.
I watched my best friend die. Found his broken, bloody body. Cried over it for days. I lost another friend just shortly after, too. She was the closest thing to MY John I'd had, but then I'd lost MY Jade too.
I had to fix it.
I was the only one who could.
We had no chance in my timeline. The thing was, to save our Session, I had to leave my sister- MY ROSE- behind.
I don't even know if she's still alive.
I CAN'T know.
When I got here, to this timeline, things didn't get much better. No, they got worse.
Damn it…
I watched THIS Dave's Bro be MURDERED. Right... In… front of me.
And I couldn't stop it.
I felt so pathetic…
So useless…
When Jade Ascended on the Battlefield and saved our Session by starting this journey, I felt like extra baggage. Hell, I still do! Just a useless bird Dave weighing down the ship as we go wherever the hell we're going. I don't get their god powers.
I don't belong here.
All I've been able to do is let people down.
Now, three years into our journey, I'd almost convinced myself that I was useful. That I was MEANT to fucking EXIST. Now though…
Now I'm not so sure…
Just another Sprite out here, going to another place I don't belong. I'll be farther from MY Jade… MY Rose…
MY John.
We've all lost something because of this shitty game. John and Rose lost their parents. Alpha Dave lost his Bro. Jade died twice.
No one has lost what I have.
No one's lost their world twice.
Now here I am; staring up at the next Session's Skaia. John and Jade aren't even looking for me. They're all looking forward to seeing their friends again.
I can't ever see mine…
Sitting here, staring at the speck that may or may not herald my death, I've gotta be honest…
Fading away is sounding like a pretty sick deal…
A/N: Shit guys... I Sadstuck... TT^TT
I literally cried while I was writing this... dammit...
I gotta go fix my feels now...