Elizabeth stared at the wall across from her as she lay in the somehow increasingly uncomfortable bed of her hotel room. The longer she stared at the wallpaper, the more it seemed to swim in her vision. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. It had been a week since Ella was in the hospital, but it somehow felt as if it was all still happening. Ella began to move at her side and Elizabeth's eyes snapped back open. She sat up gently to examine her daughter who had begun to cough softly.
"It's alright sweetheart." Elizabeth cooed softly as she slowly lifted Ella so her head was resting on her shoulder. "You're just fine." She said, trying to convince herself more than anyone. She reached over to the drawer in the nightstand and pulled out a pediatric pulse oximeter. Ella began crying as Elizabeth spread her fingers apart to put on the monitor. She gently rubbed Ella's back as she watched the numbers on the monitor. Sighing in relief as she read the results, she took the monitor off from Ella's finger. "Everything is fine." She said again, now trying to comfort her daughter more than herself.
An hour later Elizabeth woke up to the phone ringing. She woke abruptly before realizing she had fallen asleep with Ella in her arms. Quickly she reached for the phone, "Hello?" She asked tiredly.
"Doctor Corday this is your six o'clock wake up call." A perky voice sounded through the receiver.
Elizabeth sighed. "Thank you." She said softly before hearing the receptionist hang up.
She looked down at Ella who had fallen asleep on her chest. Today was her first day back at work since the before incident, and she hadn't seen Mark in almost as long. She hadn't wanted to stay away from Mark this long, but she couldn't bring herself to take Ella back home while Rachel was there.
She stroked Ella's cheek as she gently placed her down on the mattress before heading into the bathroom.
She turned the water on, hoping that it would get anywhere near warm by the time she got into the shower. Looking into the mirror she saw her own face and couldn't believe how tired she looked. Sighing she pulled her hair from the plait she had secured it in the night before. She ran her fingers through her hair as she checked on Ella once more before getting into the shower.
Everything's going to be fine. The worst is over. Everything is going to be fine. She thought over and over as the hot water numbed some of her pain.
"Mark!" Susan called down the hallway of the ER, but Mark kept walking towards trauma one. "Mark!" She tried again, louder. Mark stopped but didn't turn around. Susan caught up to him quickly and put her hand on his shoulder. "How was New York?" She asked him, as she pulled him so he was facing her.
Mark shook his head. "I somehow didn't see as many Broadway shows as I wanted."
"Mark." Susan sighed as she pulled him into the suture room. "What did the surgeon say?"
"Susan, I don't want to talk about this right now." Mark said as he crossed his arms.
"I don't exactly think you're going to want to talk about it at all, but since I'm the only one who knows…" Susan began before Mark cut her off.
"Really." He insisted. "I have to meet Elizabeth in the Pediatric ward in twenty minutes for Ella's check-up. Now isn't the time."
Susan's eyes softened slightly. "How's Ella doing?" She asked, concerned.
"Last I heard she was doing fine." Mark replied as he headed for the doorway.
Susan followed him quickly. "Have you not seen her?" Mark shook his head. "Elizabeth took Ella home five days ago."
Mark sighed. "Home is a strong word."
"What's going on Mark?" Susan asked, grabbing his shoulder to stop him once again.
"Elizabeth isn't exactly on the best terms with me right now." Mark said softly. "Look, Susan, I really don't want to talk about this right now."
Susan nodded. "Alright, but you need to take it easy." She insisted before walking towards admit.
Mark stretched backward as he checked his watch. "Dammit." He muttered before running to the elevator.
"Doctor Greene can you check on my osteosarcoma patient?" Gallant asked him, holding out a chart expectantly.
"I'm off Gallant, try Doctor Lewis!" He said as he slipped into the closing elevator.
Elizabeth sat on the exam table with Ella sitting on her lap. She looked up at the clock just before a knock sounded at the door.
"Hello Doctor Corday?" A woman asked as she came into the room.
Elizabeth nodded.
"I'm Doctor Penny Underwood." She said reaching her hand out towards Elizabeth. "Doctor Olsen wasn't able to be here this morning so I'm taking over his cases." She explained quickly.
Elizabeth nodded, before looking at the clock once more.
"Are we waiting for someone?" Penny asked as she looked over Ella's chart.
Elizabeth sighed before shaking her head. "He must have forgotten. I have to get back to surgery soon so let's just get this done."
"Alright." Penny nodded. "Ella's bloodwork is showing no signs of amphetamines, which is an excellent sign. Have you noticed any symptoms since the incident?" She asked, looking up expectantly.
"She's been coughing, but I believe that's because of residual pain from her intubation." Elizabeth replied quickly. "I've been monitoring her pulse and oxygen levels at home and she's been doing wonderfully."
Penny nodded as she made notes in Ella's chart. "Well if you don't mind I'd like to do a quick physical just to rule out any possible problems, but it looks like Ella is doing better than we could have hoped." She said with a smile toward the little girl.
Elizabeth nodded as she stood up, handing Ella to Penny. Ella began squirming as Elizabeth stepped back. "It's alright sweetheart." Elizabeth said comfortingly as she turned to the opening door.
Mark stepped into the room, smiling at the sight of his daughter. "Look who it is." Mark said happily as he moved so Ella could see him. He gently grabbed her foot as Penny continued the examination. "How is she doing?"
"Doctor Corday has filled me in on your home monitoring and I don't see anything wrong so I'd say we're in the clear for now." Penny said with a smile. "Doctor Penny Underwood, I'm filling in for Doctor Olsen." She said as she shook Mark's hand.
Mark just nodded, looking at Elizabeth who quickly averted her eyes from his gaze. "That's wonderful." He said, smiling at Penny. "Thank you so much."
"I would make a follow-up appointment for a month out just to make sure we keep on top of any long-term health problems, but honestly Ella is doing better than we should be expecting… all things considered." Penny said, making final notes on Ella's chart, looking at Mark expectantly.
Mark quickly moved to pick up Ella from the table. "Hey Ella." He said with a smile as he kissed her forehead. "You are my little champion." He whispered softly into her ear as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Well I'll let you two get Ella dressed." Penny said awkwardly, sensing the increasing tension in the room.
"Thank you." Elizabeth replied curtly.
"Feel free to go as soon as you're ready." Penny said before quickly making her leave.
Mark watched the door close before he turned back to Elizabeth. "Home monitoring?" He asked her quietly.
Elizabeth quickly crossed the room to take Ella from him. "Just checking her oxygen and pulse, nothing drastic Mark." She replied crossly.
Mark sighed. "Elizabeth you don't have to be doing this…" He started before she cut him off.
"Of course I need to be doing this she's our daughter Mark!" Elizabeth replied indignantly.
Mark shook his head. "I was trying to say you don't have to do this alone." He corrected softly. After they sat in silence for several minutes he looked up at her, finally making eye contact. "When are you coming home?" He asked her quietly.
Elizabeth sighed, reaching for Ella's diaper bag.
"Elizabeth!" Mark said, quickly grabbing the bag from her. "We have to talk about all of this."
"Mark there isn't anything to discuss." Elizabeth replied. "I'm keeping our daughter safe, no matter what that means for us." She said before heading out the door.
Mark quickly followed her, the two of them stopping once they reached the elevator. "Elizabeth I want you to come home." He said earnestly.
"I want to come home." Elizabeth replied honestly.
Mark looked at her expectantly. "Then what…"
Elizabeth shook her head. "I want to come home, but I can't. Ella needs stability, now more than ever."
"That's why she should be at home, that's why you should both be at home." Mark insisted.
"Mark, I'm sorry." Elizabeth sighed as the elevator doors opened on the surgical floor. "If you want to see Ella try to work out your shifts with Katherine's schedule." She said softly, taking the bag from Mark before quickly walking to her office.
Mark watched as the elevator doors closed in front of him. He stood there for several minutes before pressing the button for the top floor. When the doors opened he quickly made his way up to the roof. He threw open the door, running onto the roof, feeling the cold air slam into his body. He walked directly to the edge, leaning over the brick wall staring into the ambulance bay. He didn't know how long he stood there before a voice called out to him.
"Mark!" Susan's voice reached his ears. "Mark if you jump I swear I will make sure you survive." She said as she quickly walked towards him.
Mark stood up straight and turned around toward her. "I'm not that depressed." He said quietly.
"Then come back here." Susan insisted as he pulled him back into the hospital. "Mark?" She asked quietly. He stood there, resting his back against the door. "Mark?" She tried again. "Come on Mark, what's wrong?"
Mark rolled his eyes. "Susan I'm dying." He said angrily. "I'm dying and I'm not even sure it's because of this damn tumor, because my family is falling apart and if I don't get them back I will die anyway."
"Mark." Susan whispered quietly. "You have to tell Elizabeth."
Mark shook his head. "I'm not making her come back to take care of me. If she comes back because of the tumor nothing will be real."
Susan sighed. "Mark what did the surgeon say?" She tried again.
"I need gamma knife therapy and chemo." Mark replied, staring at his shoes.
"What's your prognosis?" Susan persisted.
"Four to five months." Mark said, still staring at his shows.
Susan took a deep breath. "When do you start?" She asked, trying to keep the tears in her eyes.
"Surgery is tomorrow, Chemo starts Sunday." Mark replied quietly, finally looking up.
Susan nodded. "Does Rachel know?" She asked after a few minutes.
Mark shook his head.
"Mark…" Susan began.
Mark shook his head once again. "I can handle this."
"Like hell you can." Susan replied. "You need someone to stay with you tomorrow night."
"I'll be fine." Mark insisted beginning to go down the stairwell.
Susan followed him quickly, managing to pass him. "Mark, either you let me stay with you or I'll tell Elizabeth to." She threatened.
"Fine." He replied harshly. "If you insist you can come over, watch me vomit and sleep my life away."
Susan smiled. "Thank you." She said quietly. "What time is the surgery?"
"It's at the end of my shift." Mark replied as they headed down the stairs.
"You're working?" Susan asked him incredulously.
Mark sighed. "Susan I really don't have time for your judgement."
Susan shook her head. "Mark I wasn't…"
"I'm just not ready for everyone to know yet." Mark cut her off. "Please, just give me this."
Susan nodded as they reached the first floor.
"Doctor Greene, Doctor Lewis, we have a mass casualty rolling in!" Chuney called toward them.
Susan looked at Mark. "Are you sure about this?" She asked him quietly.
Mark shrugged. "It's hard to be sure of anything in this place." He replied, grabbing a pair of gloves before heading out to the ambulance bay.