Old People! Yuck!
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender. If I did, Toph would've been waaaay awesomer than ever. Also, I might've made her and Aang together instead...
His old bones, half dust, ached as he climbed out of bed streneously. The turk rooster had made it's morning cry as soon as the sun rose, and old man Zuzu along with him. And that, was hours ago.
"Aaaaahhh, I am deader than meat..." Sokka grumbled as he shuffled towards his toiletries.
Toph had reminded him last night, to wake up early and... His memory failed him again. Without Suki, he was hopeless.
He had forgotten the rest of Toph's demand, but never her threat.
Sokka vaguely remember her threat.
"If you ... Yada yada yada... I WILL SHOOT YOUR OLD LAZY ASS INTO THE SERPANT'S PASS! YOU HEAR ME? SNOOZLES?"
Even at an old age, Toph was still healthy and vigorous, earthbending like the mad woman she is. It was like the reincarnation of dear King Bumi. And she kept the nicknames as souveniors of her youth.
Ah, good times.
The sun was at it's peak when Sokka awoke, and already, he could hear Katara, screeching at the poor maids.
"WELL? WHERE IS HE?"
They were never paid to put up with this sh*t.
Old man Sokka then dwadled towards the door, yawning as he went and opening it a crack. Throught that gap, he could see the unspeakable things people had done so actively to his lawn. And still dared to do it.
"HEY YOU YOUNG KIDS! GET OF MY GRASS!"
The crowd of teens dispersed at his outburst, snickering as they went.
He sighed deeply, and reached to grab his walking stick. It was the latest model of walking sticks, only twitched to his needs by none other than himself. It was something to be proud of! The Boomerang Holder!
Years, no... Decades had passed, and Sokka still carried his beloved boomerang, which he stopped using when arthritis struck. A long time ago. It was chipped where Toph stole it routinely to do various things, from training the previous Avatar, Aang to play 'whack a rock' and as substitute for his staff and crack nuts with it.
Every time she took it, Aang would get upset and his manhood brought into question.
But that stopped almost 16 years ago... Today.
"OH DEAR LA! I WAS SUPPOSE TO VISIT AANG'S GRAVE!"
It was an annual tradition to visit Aang with the old Gaang, and more recently, with his current reincarnation, Korra.
God, he hated that girl, like every old person should. She had the bossiness of Katara, the attitude of Toph and the goddamm temper of Zuko. It was hell rolled into one.
The Gaang still had get togethers often, but it wasn't right without Aang.
Life had been unbearably annoying since. Toph, Zuko and espescially Katara now like to pick on him for fun. Sure, they stop abusing him physically, for the sake of his life, but boy do the insults and name calling keep coming.
"OI! OLD MAN RIVER!"
Joy... Here comes Toph...
"Who you calling old man? If you haven't noticed, you're not exactly young yourself! Ever looked into the mirror and see your bags and wrinkles?"
Old habits die hard.
Toph had to restrain herself from inflicting harm in Sokka, who so stupidly forgot that blind people do not need mirrors.
"If you haven't noticed, I am blind!" Toph flopped her hand in front of her cloudy never changing eyes.
"Don't talk nonsense."
"Also, Old Man River, that I am TWO years younger than you, and therefore you are my elder!"
"Then shouldn't you treat me with respect?"
"Pfft, hell no!"
"Watch your language!"
Over time, Sokka had transformed into the stereotypical old man. Grumpy and pointlessly rude.
"Katara'll get you."
"What did you say, you little loudmouth?"
"If you don't hurry your old wrinkly butt, Katara will get you!"
"Nonsense."
"Well you prove me wrong, Snoozles."
"Don't back talk!"
As Sokka and Toph made their way across the road to Katara's, people stared at them, like they had never see old people before.
Everyone continued to stare, which hadn't bothered Toph the slightest, even though her keen senses recognized them looking at them. Sokka got paranoid and shook his clenched fist at them.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? NEVER SEEN AN OLD MAN WALK?"
Passerbys continued to stare, even when they reach Katara's. And Sokka had no clue what was going on.
Toph banged on the door rhythymically, and Katara answered.
"Sokka! Where were you? I thought we had to leave without you! And OH MY SPIRITS! You haven't even changed! Look at this! What is it? Are you out of your mind?"
"This isn't some dress up party, woman!"
"WHAT? OF COURSE NOT! I THOUGHT YOU WOULDV'E AT LEAST COME OUT WITH CLOTHES ON!"
It finally hit Sokka.
Oh Spirits! He forgot to put on clothes! Of all the people staring at him! At his loin cloth! Sokka had tumbled out of bed in his underwear and bare wrinkly butt flashing the world. How he made God cry! And Toph didn't even tell him!
"TOPH! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"
"I AM BLIND, JACKASS!" Toph retorted.
Zuko hobbled up from behind Katara.
"What is-cough-all this rack- OH SWEET AGNI! WHAT IS THE TRAGEDY I SEE BEFORE ME!" Zuko clenched at his chest, stiffened, breathing raspily before collapsing on the floor unconcious.
Zuko had a heartattack.
"Holy sh*t! The Firelord has died in Sugar and spice's house!" Toph gasped.
"HE'S NOT DEAD!" Katara snapped at Toph.
"... What will Mrs I Feel No Pain be doing in her ash jar?"
Katara and her magical bending at work, relaxed Zuko's feeble heart, and managed to make the blood flow through his veins again, reviving him some how...
"THAT IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!"
"Really, I thought it was the fourth..." Toph scratched at her head.
"No, one when Korra tried to shock me, one where Tenzin landed on my PERSONAL garden and just-cough- now."
"Oh yea, you peed your pants when Korra did that!"
"HEY! I'M OLD AND NO LONGER RESPONSIBLE FOR MY BLADDER!"
"... I'll bring you nappies tomorrow."
"WHAT! NO!"
"Fine! Pee on your pants! Firelords do it all the time!"
"You shut your mouth!"
One would earn himself a one way ticket to death if he spoke to the firelord in such manner, and Toph had many unused tickets.
She was that awesome.
They argued until...
"Sup!" Korra entered the scene, Meelo, Tenzin and Wei Bei trailed behind her.
"Hi, Mom." It was a touching moment where mother and son embrace lovingly.
Korra wished to visit her past life's grave, no matter how weird it may be to see her previous incarnation buried six feet under.
Tenzin naturally as his son, wanted to visit Aang's grave with his mother and her friends.
"I'm surrounded by old people! Is this another old people gathering?" Meelo piped up. And Wei Bei and Meelo merely tagged along.
"Yea, welcome to old people party." Toph retorted sarcastically.
Off topic but, The Order Of The White Lotus was an ancient society, dating back generations. Their association like to recruit three main types of people. The wise, the experienced and their most favourite, the old people. This order was made up foremostly of old people, and no, they do not have naptimes and spongebaths or play Bingo. They prefer a more sophisticated game the works the brain. Pai Sho.
The remaining Gaang were prestigious and high ranking members of this order, wise old pants wetting Zuko as their grand lotus. But he still sucked at Pai Sho.
Getting back to the point, the Gaang and Korra's crew and ready to commence their annual tradition. They were going to visit Aang. Everybody was here and ready... Oh wait...
"SOKKA! CLOTHE YOURSELF!"
And when Old Man River put on some pants, they were finally ready head off to visit their dear old friend, Aang.
A/N: It's not that good, isit?:( Ah well... Anyway in case you were wondering, Suki and Mai have passed on, and Wei Bei and Meelo are in fact, are actual characters. Er... What else... Oh! And I wanted to put in the children of the Gaang, but didn't want to add new characters because it might be cheesy and far fetched. I hope the Korra show will feature the Gaang to some extent, and see their children in it, espescially Sokka's and Toph's, if she had any as she didn't really have a love interest. Cabbage Merchant's legacy will live on, so that is a hoot an a half! And so much more! If you have any other questions, pm or leave a comment and I'll answer it as best as I can!