I watch the way his chest rises and falls, as my long brown hair and head rests upon it. His heart seems to beat far too fast for someone who is asleep. It amazes me how he seems to be aware that I am here, half asleep myself, on his chest snuggled next to him. He is truly the most amazing man to me, the curve of his cheek, the touch of skin against me, the way he moves. These are the thing I want to memorize so that when our work pulls us apart again, I can close my eyes and go back to this moment where I am just lying here watching him sleep. So that in those rare missions when we are apart I can lie on the floor of the tent, wearing a shirt of his, I can close my eyes and pretend my head is resting on his chest once more, and the smell isn't simply a fading linger but the real thing.
We are not often part on missions, team gai works best when we are togethor, and not many people can put up with Gai or Lee the way Neji and I do. So unlike other couples in our line of work we don't a lot of time apart. Not that our realationship is public, it is very much not.
We have clan rules to think about, our team to consider, our village, these all come first.
However, I do love him, I've never told him, not once. I'm too scared he might not love me back. That this might be just another one of his things he does.
He rolls over in his sleep, so now his body is curved aorund me in a spoon shape, and I am tucked into the curve of his arm, where I feel safe and warm. I can feel the warm air of his breath on my cheek, and can't help but smile, knowing that at the very least my paranoid sparring partner feels safe enough to fall asleep with me on him, or in his arms.
Sometimes he talks in his sleep, just mumbles little incoherent things, orders sometimes. Once he asked me where I put the mission report. Tonight seems to be a talkative night, I have heard my name several times now, not really surprising since we spend all our time togethor. Training, sex, sleeping, like an old married couple without the marriage, or the old, or the love...
His arms tigheten around me, he's woke up, I've made the desicon to pretend to be asleep, easier to explain than telling him the truth that I was watching him sleep. less creepy too. His arm has moved, I wish I could see him, or know what he is thinking as he watches me 'sleep'. All I can really tell is that he has lifted himself onto his arm, the one I am half snuggled onto at this very moment. His hand is hovering above my face and I can feel his fingertips on my cheek, now his palm, his whole hand is just resting on my cheek, gentle like, as not to awaken me I imagine.
"I love you," he whispers hestinatly, and I know that he knows I am awake, I can tell. Besides, i was a fool to try and hide something from Neji, after ten years togethor as a team and six months as lovers' I should know it is impossible. So I turn and face him, what else could I do? He is blushing, I can tell even by the moonlight streaking throught the blinds in my room. I lift my head up, as the seocnds pass beginnign to feel like years I kiss him gently. As strange as it sound safter six months of being lovers I have never once kissed him, he has kissed me, but not the other way round. I pull away breathless,
'I love you too,"