I wrote this little one-shot for FelynxTiger's birthday. Which as it happens, is also my birthday! Which is also today! She's the biggest Beast Boy fan out there! She's also the founder of the BbxRae club on Deviantart, as well as admin of the Teen Titans club and a couple others. She wanted this fic to be a summer day at Titans Tower, and I happily obliged. Hehehe...

Tiger rampage.


It was a normal day at Titans Tower. Dogs were yapping, cats were meowing, and goats were bleating. The Titans couldn't figure out how all these animals got on their island, but that didn't matter, because it was summer! And as is tradition with every summer fan fic, the Titans' air conditioning blew up into a million pieces. Cyborg tried to fix it, but his tech was too primitive to deal with the awesome might of the suethor. So instead, he blew up.

"Yo man! Why am I blowin' up?!" He shouted as he blew up. Cyborg chunks rained down, cooling down the other Titans momentary. But it still wasn't enough and the oppressive heat continued to oppress the poor Titans.

It was HOT. Like 175 or something. All of the animals stranded on Titan Island were dying. Beast Boy tried to care, but they were pretty annoying, so he let it slide.

The Titans decided that they were too hot and needed to find a way to cool down. Beast Boy suggested a group bath with the ladies. Robin eagerly agreed and pulled the shrieking changeling to the bathroom, leaving the female Titans alone in the common room. Several disturbingly long hours later, a traumatized Beast Boy came back into the room. Robin followed behind him.

"Well, that didn't cool me down at all!" Robin said, his body covered in sweat. "Now I'm hotter than before!" Beast Boy was curled in a ball in the corner, rocking back and forth and weeping.

"Friends, why do we not just go swimming in the ocean?" Starfire asked.

And so it was settled. The Titans were going swimming. They all piled into the T-car and drove the 50 feet to the shore right in front of the tower.

"Yo! No one touches my baby!" Cyborg shouted, resurrecting from his previous accident. He proceeded to beat Beast Boy to a pulp for driving his car. Even though Robin drove. The other Titans ignored the two and set up their beach supplies.

"Boys." Raven said, rolling her eyes as she received her first line of the story. Behind her, Beast Boy was bleeding heavily and screaming bloody murder while Cyborg continued to pummel the young teen.

SUDDENLY, a form appeared out of the water. "Don't you touch him!" The mysterious form shrieked. It shoved Cyborg into the water, where he instantly rusted. The other Titans pushed him out to sea. Aqualad kidnapped him to add to his collection of oddities.

"Who are you?" Raven asked in an awed monotone.

"My name," the form said dramatically, "is Felynx!" Upon the mere mention of her name, Beast Boy was instantly healed.

"Wow, thanks!" Beast Boy exclaimed, examining his newly healed body. "I feel much better!" Felynx sauntered in close, giving him her best bedroom eyes. She looked stoned.

"I know how you can repay me," Felynx purred in a low voice, giving Beast Boy a clawing motion with her hand. "Raaawr!"

"Uhhh, n-no thanks," Beast Boy stammered out, backing away. "Raven could have just healed me anyway." Suddenly, Felynx's eyes were filled with rage.

"It's always about Raven," She said the name with contempt. "You never have time for me anymore!"

"What?" Beast Boy asked confused. "I've never even met you before!" Felynx gasped.

"How could you say something like that?!" She sobbed. "After all we've been through!" She held up dozens of pictures of Beast Boy. He snatched them out of her hands and his eyes went wide.

"DUDE!" He shouted, flipping through them.

Beast Boy in his swimsuit *Flip*

Beast Boy changing into his swimsuit *Flip*

Beast Boy in the shower *Flip*

Felynx posing next to a sleeping Beast Boy *Flip*

Beast Boy unconscious, slouching next to Felynx on a Ferris wheel.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Beast Boy shouted, backing away from the sobbing girl. She looked up at him with a tear stained face.

"I know, Beast Boy. We've become so distant, it's like we don't even know each other anymore." She shook her head sadly. "It's my fault, I haven't been making enough effort to spend time with you.

"Uh, no. You've made plenty of effort. Way too much effort, in fact." Beast Boy said, looking around in terror.

"Oh, you're just trying to cheer me up," Felynx said, sniffling. "That's so sweet of you Beasty Boo. But I'll just have to try harder. From now on, I wont leave your side, not even for a second!" She jumped up and clung to the struggling boy. Beast Boy tried to push her off himself, to no avail. She wrapped herself around him tighter, restricting his movement.

"S-stop!" He shouted. "Help! One of you help me!" Raven looked over at him with obvious sympathy in her eyes.

"Sorry, I still have to set up the umbrellas," she said flatly. "My skin always gets so burned in the sun." She poked her already reddening skin and took in a short intake of breath through her teeth. "Damn, I'm already burnt."

Beast Boy desperately tried to change forms to escape, but Felynx's grip was too tight around him. He started to panic and his breaths came in short bursts as he began hyperventilating. Starfire flew over and pried the incredibly strong girl off of Beast Boy. Felynx began foaming at the mouth as she grasped at the air, trying to get Beast Boy back. He ran away and cowered behind the nearest rock.

"You should not harm friend Beast Boy," Starfire said, anger present in her voice. "Or I will harm you."

Felynx stopped her struggling and turned her head a full 180 degrees to look Starfire in the eye. Starfire winced as she heard the bones in her captors neck scrape and pop against each other.

"You." Felynx said in a deadly whisper. "You're trying to steal Beast Boy from me. I knew I couldn't trust a whore like you." Starfire's eyes glowed with fury and she dropped Felynx onto the hard, rocky shore.

"YOU DO NOT CALL ME A WHORE!" Starfire screamed as she let loose a powerful starbolt aimed right at Felynx. The force of the impact shook the entire island and pieces of rock were sent miles into the air. Still Starfire did not stop, unleashing a powerful torrent of energy at the girl. After a full five minutes, she dropped to the ground, breathing heavily.

"Whew, thanks Star, she was really freaking me out," Beast Boy said, appearing from behind his rock. Starfire gave him a nod before collapsing on the ground in exhaustion. Slowly, the smoke and derbies cleared, revealing a 20 foot deep hole in the bedrock. In the center of the hole laid a crippled and bloodied Felynx. She coughed a few times before crawling out, her broken legs dangling behind her.

"If you ever try to steal my boyfriend again, I wont go so easy on you." Felynx coughed again, spitting out several bloody teeth.

"Dude! What?!" Beast Boy shouted, ignoring the collapsed Starfire. "I am so not your boyfriend!"

Felynx stood up, seemingly oblivious to the fact that her legs currently had shattered bone sticking out of them. She turned to Beast Boy with sadness in her eyes. "A-are you breaking up with me?" She wiped away the blood flowing from her eyes like it was tears. "I knew it! I knew you still weren't over HER!"

"Who, Starfire?" Beast Boy asked, confused.

"Don't play dumb!" Felynx cried. "Terra! It's always been Terra!"

"Who told you about Terra?" Beast Boy started to grow angry. "No one outside the Titans knew about us!" Felynx ignored the question.

"She was always the only thing between us. That home-wrecking bitch just couldn't accept our love!" She sobbed into her hands. "You told me you were over her and I forgave you!" She continued quietly. "I just don't know if I can trust you anymore Beast Boy..."

"Good! Fine! Leave!" Beast Boy shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "I don't even know who you are, you psychopath." Felynx looked him deep in the eyes, her sobbing stopping for the moment. Finally she spoke.

"Perhaps you're right Beast Boy..." Beast Boy's face brightened upon hearing that. "We can work this out! True love like ours doesn't come around often." Beast Boy's expression darkened once again. "Like you said, 'It would be a shame to ruin such a beautiful thing.'" Felynx finished, smiling brightly up at him.

"AAAHHHUGG!" Beast Boy screamed to the heavens. "You're insane!"

"I love you too Beast Boy!" Felynx replied excitedly. "I know it's a big step to say that in a relationship and I'm so glad that you had the courage! I have loved you for such a long time, but I didn't want to make things awkward." She explained.

"What?!" Beast Boy shouted. "Dude, I did NOT say that! Somebody, help me out over here!" Beast Boy looked over to his teammates, begging for help with his eyes. Robin nodded and walked up to the girl.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or why you're here, but I think it's best of you leave," Robin said, putting on his best leader face. Felynx turned to him with murder in her eyes.

"Oh, I see how it is!" She shrieked, standing up to her full height. "You just want to have Beast Boy all to yourself! To hold him and stroke his hair. To kiss him and sing him to sleep at night!" A look of confusion crossed Robin's face.

"Wha-? I don't-"

"WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU BUDDY!" Felynx screamed, raising her fist. "I DON'T SUPPORT YAOI!" With that, she brought her fist down and struck Robin with all her might. He easily blocked the clumsy shot, but unfortunately her strength was too much and his arms collapsed under the weight of the assault. With a resounding crack, her fist made contact with his head and Robin fell to the ground, dead. There was a stunned silence, the only sound that could be heard was Felynx's heavy breathing.

"What have you done?!" Beast Boy broke the silence, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"I'll miss that gel-head," Raven said, displaying the appropriate amount of sadness for the tragic death of her leader.

"It's OK Beast Boy," Felynx said soothingly. "He can't stand in the way of our love any more." Upon hearing all of the commotion, Starfire groggily propped herself up.

"Friends, what is with all of the ye-" She froze when she saw Robin crumpled on the floor. She looked over and saw Felynx standing triumphantly on his body. Instantly, she became filled with a blinding rage. Letting out a warriors cry, she shot at Felynx, a sonic boom rippling behind her.

Screaming, Starfire slammed into Felynx full force, shattering most of her remaining bones. Felynx let out a grunt as she smashed into the tree behind her. Blood poured down her head and several fractures ran visibly across her skull. Starfire continued to scream with fury as she beat the helpless girl into the ground. She kept pouncing and pounding for what seemed like hours as tears streamed down her face. Eventually, Felynx lay still, her body covered in blood and broken bones sticking through her skin.

Starfire dropped to the ground and began weeping. She walked over to Robins lifeless corpse and held it to herself as she cried. Beast Boy came up behind her hugged her, trying to comfort the alien. From behind them, a faint gurgling noise could be heard. Both Titans were too preoccupied to notice it.

"Star...It's OK. We'll get through this." Beast Boy said, still holding the alien tight. He gently loosened her grip on Robin's body. She collapsed in Beast Boy's arms and cried into his chest, her arms wrapping around the changeling. She continued to sob as he comforted her. The gurgling grew louder and louder until finally a piercing shriek broke through the air.

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF MY BEAST BOY!" The mutilated Felynx charged at Starfire, the speed of her movement too quick to follow. With a quick motion of her hands, she grabbed Starfire's head and twisted hard. A loud snap echoed across the bay, followed by a thud as Starfire's lifeless body hit the ground. Beast Boy let out a cry and scrambled over to Starfire's body.

Raven put down the book she had been reading and stood up. "Alright, now you've done it." She said, her voice filled with monotonous anger. "I liked her!"

Felynx looked over at Raven casually. "Well, I actually support BBxRae, so I don't want to hurt you. You guys are my OTP!" Felynx exclaimed. "So, how about we forget all this and have a threesome!" She squealed with delight.

"Not on your life," Raven said coldly. "Which, as it happens, isn't going to last much longer." She raised her hands and her eyes began to glow white.

"Aw man, Rae! I really wanted us to be friends!" Felynx said sadly, raising her bloodied and broken hands into a sloppy fighters stance. "I would have shared Beast Boy with you."

In response, Raven surrounded Felynx in dark energy and raised her high into the air. With devastating force, Raven slammed her into the rocky shore, creating a small crater and fissuring the rocks below. Raven walked slowly toward Felynx, her dark magic pushing the beaten girl deeper into the rock with every step. Felynx cried out in pain as her body was pressed into the unforgiving rock. What few unbroken ribs she had left fractured under the pressure. Sharp bone fragments pierced her skin as Raven closed the distance. Raven stopped within inches of Felynx. She looked down with contempt.

"You don't get to 'share' Beast Boy with anyone. He's not your lover and he's not your toy. You're just a sad, obsessed little girl, and I think I'm done with you." Raven encased a nearby boulder in black energy, and raised it into the air above Felynx's head.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Felynx yelled out, contorting her neck to look in the direction of Beast Boy, who was still holding Starfire's body. "Beast Boy loves me! What we have is special! You're just trying to get rid of me so you can have him all to yourself!" She screamed out in frustration as she tried to struggle against the magic that held her.

Raven let out a short, hollow laugh. The emptiness of the tone ringing eerily across the island. "Beast Boy doesn't even know who you are. You came here and wrecked his life. You killed his family and took away what little he had left in this world. He doesn't love you; he doesn't even like you. After what you did, he hates you." She lifted the boulder higher then let it drop, giving one final statement before Felynx's death. "He could never love someone like you."

Felynx let out a shrill, piercing shriek at Raven's comment and ripped her limbs free from the magic that held her. She lunged at Raven just as the boulder collided with the spot her head had been moments before. Raven stumbled back, caught off guard and Felynx tackled her to the ground. With a loud cry, she pulled out one of the bone shards sticking out of her chest and plunged it deep into Raven's heart.

Raven let out a short gasp as her body went limp. Summoning the last bit of energy she could muster, she looked over to Beast Boy and rasped out "It's not your fault." With that, her eyes closed and her head fell back as death took her.

"RAVEN!" Beast boy shouted out as he dropped to his knees. His whole world had been shattered and all his friends had been killed. There was nothing left for him to live for. Feeling the weight of depression, he collapsed. He curled into a ball and cried. The pain inside of him only grew as his sobs got louder. He started to hiccup with the effort of his sobbing. A comforting hand rested itself on his shoulder.

"It's OK Beast Boy" Felynx said. Beast Boy scrambled away in revulsion, but Felynx grabbed him and held him tight, her blood soaking into his clothes. "They're all gone. They wont bother us anymore." He tried to speak, tried to scream out in frustration and anger, but the only thing that would come out was his choked sobs. As she ran her hands through his hair and hummed softly to him, he felt the urge to vomit.

"I'm here for you Beast Boy" Felynx whispered softly in his ear. "I'll always be here for you. Because it's just you and me now...Forever and ever. "


Yeah, I know. The story kinda degraded (or upgraded) from an outright parody to something more serious along the way. It just goes to show, you don't need superpowers to kick ass. Fangirls can persevere through insanity and dedication alone.

If you liked this one, check out my series of ridiculousness entitled "100 ways to a readers heart"

Anyway, give me birthday reviews!