The Competition
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I'm not making any money and everyone will be offended! I win!
"So, you dinint fuck 'er, didja?" Joe slurred his words.
"No. We did not fuck." Ranger enunciated carefully.
"HA! I knew she wunnint fall fer all that Mysterioso Manoso crap! Turned ya down, did she? Toldja I was the better lover!" Joe laughed as he took a swig of his beer, choking on it.
Ranger gave him a drunken smile and snorted. "We made loooooove and it was goooooood." He held up his glass of whisky and saluted Joe. "I'm the better lover."
"Booshit, Manoso. Balls to the wall sex that's what, the woman loves it! Can't get enough of me! Screamin 'More!' and 'Harder!'"
Ranger leaned across the table at him, waving his finger. "See Morelli, that's where you made yer biiiig mistake. Balls to the wall is all about wha choo wan. Makin' looooove is all about whad she wans. Ladies firss!" He sat back in the booth nodding his head sagely. "Make her beg to cum!"
"An then, annnn then she'll do anythin' ya wan her to do. Yup! 'Ats whad she likes bess. I'm the winner."
"Naaaah! Hot sweaty, the guys need you, the guys miss you, and then ya pound her into the mattress sex! An THEN she does anythin' I wan. Almos … so I win." Morelli stuck out his tongue at Ranger and blew a raspberry, blowing beer all over the table.
"It's juss a difference in approach!"
"Egg-Zackly! Idz all how ya come at her."
"Yeah ... long as is not from the back," Morelli snorted at his own joke. "She still doesn't do doggy ..." He sighed, suddenly sad.
Ranger grinned into his whisky glass and snickered.
"Wha?" Joe demanded. "Oh nooooo, you're not gonna tell me ..."
Ranger looked at his glass. 'To the sweetest lil' puppy in all of Trenton! An I win!" He drained his glass and reached for the whiskey bottle.
They were interrupted by Tank, who walked up and relieved them of their drinks. "You two are the stupidest sons of bitches on the planet! In case you haven't noticed, you two 'winners' both lost!" He dragged them out of the booth and out to the parking lot, pouring them into the back of a RangeMan SUV.
"Come on boys, you missed the wedding AND the reception. Time to go see Lester and Steph off on their honeymoon! In case you haven't figured it out yet … he's the winner."