Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! If I did, Sasuke would probably be dead by now...
A blond ninja was frantically running around, papers in hand, muttering words under his breath. It was in the earlier afternoon, the sun high in the sky, and other people minding their own business, passing by the boy without even batting an eye. That is, except for one. She stood a few feet away, looking at the boy with a look of both confusion and anger at the stupidity of what he was doing.
"Naruto," she began, "What the hell are you doing?" Naruto looked at her, hands still working on hanging a paper on the wall in front of him.
"Nothing, Sakura," he said and looked away quickly.
Her fist collided with his head and he was sent to the ground. Rubbing the bump that was forming on his head, he looked up to the fuming pink haired girl with a look of irritation. "What was that for?"
"Do you think I'm stupid?" Sakura yelled, "I know you're up to something, so tell me!"
"Geez, Sakura," Naruto muttered, "No need to get all angry."
Sakura's face turned red as her anger rose. Naruto backed away from her, fear in his eyes but also a look of admiration. She's so cute when she's angry, he thought. She stood with her arms crossed in front of her, patiently waiting. "So what are you doing?" she asked a little more nicely.
"Well, it's kind of hard to explain," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head. Sakura snatched the paper from his hand, reading it much to Naruto's regret. She frowned, looking at her fellow ninja as if trying to measure the amount of stupidity that made him make what she was currently reading.
The flier read:
WANTED: sidekick, must have a depressing backstory and be smaller than me.
"Naruto," Sakura said, handing him back the paper, "What is this?"
"Well, after the fights we've had with Orochimaru, Zabuza, Itachi and Raiga, I found they have one thing in common: They all have sidekicks!" Naruto explains.
"You have got to be kidding me," Sakura face palms and Naruto waves his hands in front of her.
"No, no, let me explain," he says, "Zabuza had Haku, Orochimaru had Kabuto, Itachi has Kisame, and Raiga had Ranmaru. They all get sidekicks with cool abilities. Even Kiba gets Akamaru and Grandma Tsunade gets Shizune. Shouldn't I get one?"
"Naruto, I don't think I can explain this to you without hurting you," Sakura says, "Follow me."
Sakura and Naruto began walking down the road to where they knew an open field was. Many ninja went there to train every day and there were probably many there now. Finally, they approached a familiar ninja. He had shocking hair that jutted out in one direction, a mask pulled to the bridge of his nose, and his headband pulled to cover his left eye. He stopped what he was doing, which was reading a book, and gave his attention to the two who were coming toward him.
Sakura and Naruto bowed. "Hi, Kakashi-sensai," Naruto said and Kakashi smiled, although you couldn't realy tell from under his mask.
"Hello, Sakura, Naruto," he said, "And what brings you here?"
Sakura, without saying a word, handed Kakashi one of Naruto's fliers and their sensai read it over. "Naruto," Kakashi began, "Why do you want a sidekick?"
"Because…" Naruto explained what he said to Sakura and what Sakura had said to him.
"Naruto, the show is called 'Naruto'," Kakashi explained, "You don't get a sidekick."
"Why not?" Naruto whined.
"Because," he began but thought better of it. Better to end this quickly than have to deal with his pupil's stupidity, "Why would you want to share everything with a sidekick. That just means that you wouldn't be the absolute highlight of the show." Naruto nodded in approval and Sakura face palmed again. "Anyways, why the depressing backstory?"
"Oh because both Haku and Ranmaru had depressing backstories of their childhood and it seems like everyone that I know has one so I thought they should fit in," Naruto explained.
"What goes on in that head of yours?" Sakura asked. Naruto shrugged and both Sakura and Kakashi walked away.
Later, Lady Tsunade called Naruto into her office where she told him that he had to take down every flier from the village. When Naruto complained, she began to yell at him and he yelled back, complaining about how "Grandma Tsunade gets a sidekick" and so on. Throwing him out of the office, Tsunade sat back in her cha, rubbing her temples, drinking, and complaining about stupid boys.
~AN~
Hope you liked it! I didn't get a chance to proofread this so I hope there aren't too many mistakes. Why doesn't he have a sidekick with a depressing backstory anyways? The world may never know. Notice how there is no Sasuke whatsoever. Liked him in the beginning, don't like when we have to spend ten episodes chasing him around. Not. Fun. But now I'm playing the Wii game and I get to beat up Sasuke which makes me smile..