A/N: My last new multi-chap for awhile, I promise. From here on out, it will just be updates for already started multi-chaps or the occasional one-shot. It should be noted that while the Eddie/Iris & Barry/Linda relationships will be present - and initially the fic will revolve around Eddie's struggle - this is a westallen story.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

Chapter 1—

It had been a great evening.

Terrific in fact.

He'd always been a mama's boy, always enjoyed spending time with his mother. But tonight with Iris – the three of them together, it just felt so right.

Iris was charming, his mother indulgent and shamelessly boasting to him, her son, of every compliment Iris dished out to her. He'd never seen either of them look so radiant as they did bouncing off of each other with wit and tales of their early beginnings – his mother had also started out as a barista and then gone on to her dream that, while it didn't involve journalism by any stretch of the imagination, had included rising above the male peers in her company until she was assistant to the VP.

"Why not go further?" Iris had asked. "Why not go straight to the top?"

"Because, my darling girl, it is so very exhausting having to make all the decisions."

They'd smiled and laughed and almost forgotten to eat. Eddie hardly said a word, but neither noticed. He just enjoyed being in their company, and was in a very heady space when he and Iris finally returned home.

The sex that night had been fantastic. Mindblowing. Romantic too somehow. Everything was as it should be. So much so in fact that he had forgotten to go through his pre-bedtime ritual of placing the ear plugs in his ears. He didn't even think to do it because the night had been so great his subconscious clearly forgot there was any need for it anymore.

The truth was – well, he'd told Iris he'd had a particularly bad case a couple months back, shortly after she'd moved in with him, that had really hit him hard. Of course she was visibly upset he hadn't told her right away, but before he could try to find a way out of that one, she justified him in that he probably didn't want to start off their living together on a depressing note. He let it go at that, agreeing with her that should another bad case come along, he would tell her the moment it happened so she could help him through it.

He felt terrible lying to her, but somehow the truth was so much worse. He didn't want to make her feel bad, especially if it was something she couldn't remember. He also didn't want her to be well aware of it and harboring supposed feelings for someone other than him.

So, every night he put in those ear plugs and she never brought it up again. He didn't know if she asked Joe about what case had bothered him so much, if there had been a noise involved, if he'd been close to a gun when it went off, how in the world having ear plugs in helped… But since the subject never came up again he assumed she didn't, or if she did, that she was satisfied with what Joe told her.

The latter seemed unlikely given he knew he'd at least have Joe looking at him strangely from a conversation of that nature, if not confront him directly. But the possibility that something had been spoken between them and both parties had chosen to keep him in the dark. Well, he didn't like that either.

So, he just put it out of his mind, popped those ear plugs in his ears every night for the past two months, and everything was fine. The fact that he'd skipped over the easiest of tasks on a night as perfect as tonight would have him scolding himself for days, because…

"Mmm."

Iris moaned. He held his breath, hoping foolishly that this time it would be different.

"Oh, Barry," she purred.

Eddie's eyes flashed open. He felt Iris shifting on the bed and turned just in time to see her hand dipping beneath the cover. He saw the continued movement, knew where it was going; not to him – to her.

Iris gasped and visibly shivered. He knew she'd slipped probing fingers beneath the waistband of her panties.

If he could only block out some select words in her current vocabulary, this would be an incredible turn on.

"Barry, touch me," she whimpered urgently.

Off with the blanket, the sheet, and his body on his side of the bed, Eddie, as silently and slowly as he could manage, got off the bed and went into the bathroom, where he shut the door to put another barrier between them. He could still hear her – across the room and through the closed bathroom door, which only bode trouble. He hadn't realized it'd gotten this bad, this intense.

He turned on the water in the sink on high. He washed his face, mistakenly with red-hot water, immediately shifting it to cold, and then roughly shutting it off when the temperature approached icy figures. He grabbed a towel roughly and wiped his face free of the wet substance. Then he gripped the rim of the sink and, breathing heavily, tried to block out the noise.

After awhile, Iris's moans and cries of pleasure couldn't be heard through the closed door. He didn't want to go back to bed though. When he closed his eyes, he didn't see Iris masturbating in her sleep. He saw her having sex with Barry and he felt threatened. He also felt a sense of loss he hadn't felt even when he'd unnecessarily envisioned Barry as a legitimate threat early on in his relationship with Iris.

Was he now? Probably not.

Over and over Eddie told himself Iris would never cheat on him. And, while loyal, he didn't see Barry pining in any way over his best friend. Whatever supposed evidence he'd gathered of Barry's true feelings regarding Iris around Christmas seemed to have completely disappeared. He worried now though if he was just seeing what he wanted to see.

After all, when he'd confronted Iris with the possibility that her best friend might just like her in a different way, she'd brushed it aside like it was impossible. He couldn't deny there appeared to be some tension between Barry and Iris in the week leading up to her moving in with him, but it was smoothed over now. Smoothed over and with no clear indication that that was because they had feelings for each other and were sneaking around behind his back.

Besides, in the light of day, Iris's romantic affections very clearly shined only on him – Eddie Thawne, her boyfriend who she shared an apartment with.

He needed to get over this or things would start going downhill in his relationship with Iris, and he'd only have himself to blame. Iris probably didn't even realize she was vocalizing her sex dreams with Barry, if she even remembered she was having them.

"You are a terrible boyfriend," he whispered to his mirror self. "You probably also need therapy."

Eddie shook his head and blew out a puff of air. He pulled out a new set of ear plugs from a drawer under the sink, stuck them in his ears, opened the bathroom door and made the trek across the bedroom. Iris was no longer in the grip of unconscious night passions, and when he lay down beside her, she automatically curled into him. He sighed in relief and wrapped his arm around her.

Maybe there was nothing to be worried about after all.

"Barry," Iris murmured, but Eddie didn't hear her.