I was looking through a magazine rack and smiled happily as I skimmed the latest fashion magazine. I longingly stared at the dresses and cute shoes that would probably look amazing on me. I heard a group of girls coming in the shop and I heard giggles and whispers.
"Look at the cute boy at the magazine rack..."
"...he has a girl magazine I wonder if he has a gf"
"...He looks so hot"
I could hear the dreamy sighs and I lightly growled crushing the magazine in my hand putting it back roughly before shoving my hands in my pocket and leaving my head bowed down ignoring those fangirls. It was time for class and I didn't want to be late. I entered the classroom the first one there as usual and sat at the far back hidden away. I rarely spoke and I ignored everyone for the most part. Slowly the classroom began to fill and Iruka-sensei began the lesson. I slowly glanced over at another kid who was trying to follow the lesson but struggling. He looked utterly confused. He always seemed as lonely as I was but was always smiling and joking and loud. I went back to the lesson and took my notes of things I needed to study and zoned out for the rest of the class.
At lunch I went outside and sat alone. I glanced at the popular blond chick Yamanaka-san who always seemed attached to Uchiha-san like a second skin. He seemed annoyed but couldn't shake her off. Uchiha-san was dreamy and I sometimes wished I could be carefree like her, but that is not how a boy is to behave I thought bitterly. Especially a boy who had to make their parents proud and be a good ninja. As I slowly ate my lunch my eyes glanced over to the far tree on the other side of the school ground with a lone tire swing. My eyes met blue lonely eyes of Uzumaki-san. I quickly glanced away feeling odd as they seemed to suck me in. I was warned by my parents not to interact with him but I didn't know why. Sure he was super hyper at time, but he also genuinely seemed lonely and sad too. That was no reason to hate him. Everyday I took a glimpse of him and each time our eyes would meet. I longed to be his friend. As soon as I got up the bell rang signaling lunch was over. I didn't realize how long I sat there thinking. Tomorrow I promised myself. Tomorrow I would go over and talk to Uzumaki-san out of everyone there. He's eyes reminded me of mine. Lonely and Sad. So did Sasuke but I had a crush on him so that was a no go.
At home I layed in my bed my parents weren't home yet so I had some time to myself. Before I would crack open my books and study I decided to have some me time. I went into my closet and cut my thumb feeling it bleed and swiped it across the wall. The wall opened and I smiled softly to myself as I pulled out a suitcase. I slowly opened it feeling my heart swell as I looked at all my female clothing I collected over some time. I slowly picked up a light yellow sundress and a pink wig that matched my exact hair color and I put them on after changing out of my male clothing. I even had pink Ninja garb that was so adorable. I smiled in the mirror and slowly brush the wig out and fixed it. I looked like an ordinary girl and it made me happy, yet sad. Happy to seem myself in it but sad that I couldn't wear it in the house or anywhere but in my secret alone time. I twirled around and giggled.
"Oh Sasuke-kun I think you're super cute. I totally think you should choose me over Ino-san for sure" I said softly into the mirror.
I was so busy enjoying myself that I didn't hear my door open until it was too late.
"SAKURA-KUN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING"
I jumped in pure fear and slowly glanced at my mother like a deer caught in the headlights.
"NO SON OF MINE SHALL WEAR THOSE THINGS! WHAT ON EARTH WOULD YOUR FATHER THINK?"
I shrank back and shivered in fear, embarrassment and anger
"...but I'm a girl I whispered brokenly"
"EXCUSE ME WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
I couldn't take it anymore and I exploded.
"I'M A GIRL MOM I WAS BORN A GIRL I WASN"T BORN A BOY I DON'T HAVE PENIS I HAVE BREAST NOW AND I HAVE A FUCKING VAGINA I AM NOT YOUR DEAD SON!"
I shuddered tears pouring down my cheeks and it wasn't until I struck down I realize what I said and the tears wouldn't stop. I heard the door signaling my father had come in my mother already out the room. I quickly gathered my books and suitcase and left out the window in fear and anger. I didn't stop running even as I heard my father yelling after me hearing my mother rant to him the moment she heard the door. My face was throbbing from the hit but my heart hurt more. For years I had to be their perfect son to replace their dead son that I never even knew. I just want to be their daughter.
I ended up at the park thankfully no one was there and I crawled into one of the tunnels and just cried and cried until I drifted off to sleep in a fitful sleep full of sadness and nightmares.
"...Sakura-chan wake up"
The next time I awoke I would be shaken out of sleep by the blond boy with lonely eyes matching mine.
to be continued...