Shared Memory

by Pastelcupcakes

A YabuNoo/ Jump anniversary fic

"Oretachi wa Hey! Say! JUMP!"

It was the finale of our first concert. Loud cheers can be heard that I could almost feel my skin crawling off my body. We were panting from exhaustion yet I could feel that we can still go on for another encore. Although my vision was blurred with the non-stop flow of my tears, I clearly know that you were also feeling overwhelmed by the crowd. After all, isn't this what you've dreamed of?

At that time, you noticed me looking at your ridiculously grinning face. I can still remember. You were sparkling under the limelight, embellished with tears and sweat. The tears and sweat that will look gross in any other day but somehow at that very moment such embellishment made you shine the most. I was in awe. It was the fruits of your hard work as an acting leader, isn't that right? You properly looked after these children… no us! to come up to this stage and finally have our dreams to be realized and properly acknowledged. We finally took that one step and be ahead of others. It was our first step to be known and recognized.

"We did well, didn't we?" is what I told you.

You took my hand and said. "Our gratitude was well received!" You've grown yet your smile is still the same as always. It was the most rewarding thing that I could ever receive that day.

With a tight grip on your hand I gladly nod. "Un!"

13 years ago, we met in a not so ordinary day. That was when my mother took me in an audition. It was mostly my idea and something I decided for myself on a whim. My mother who was not quite inclined to idols although young at age, simply gave me a push and said, "Go ahead". When the first phone call from the agency came and announced that my application passed, I jumped with joy. I could totally recall my sister cheering on me while saying,"We can now eat lobster as much as we want, right? Oni-ni?" Then everyone in the room burst from laughter. She was cute back then. Unlike today, she's grown into someone who would say, "Ah~ My brother's famous now, Lucky~ I can brag something to my friends" something like that or maybe it's just me and my perception towards her current attitude. She's still sweet from time to time, I think.

The feeling of getting on the real place is nothing similar to talking over the phone when I was called for a personal appearance. The tension was greater. Dozen… no probably a hundred of children were walking down the hallways. From time to time we've come across a group of youngster running in weird costumes. My mother would giggle and teased me a little. "Oh! I might see you wearing something like that in the future!"

Passing by the big lounge at the middle of nowhere, we followed a group of children who seems to be also taking the same audition. It was then I first met you. You appear to me as a boisterous kid who would whine and, from time to time, tug his mother's skirt just to get assurance that you'll get your reward at the end of the day. I heard it was for a soccer badge. It made me laugh a little thinking how childish you were. But I'm in no position to say it out loud and point finger at you because as a glutton as I am, I also wished for something simple. After all we were just kids back then; looking forward for something simple would make us happy. Who would have thought such simple goals could take us further beyond our thoughts?

We arrived in a wide room, a plain looking one where we were led by a kind assistant. Seats were properly aligned for parents and guardians alike to be sat on. Children of various age spread across the room getting all friendly with each other. The sight before me made me feel smaller. So, this is the world I'm about to get myself into?

Attendants are mostly just mothers and sisters squealing and cheering on at their lovable son and brother. They were cheering with full enthusiasm that one might get too embarrassed and just walk away or throw tantrums. I'm relieved that my mom is not that kind of a mother. She would just nicely smiled back at me and push my back when it's my turn.

I could recall myself observing children of the same age as mine with my diligent young eyes. It was then my eye caught a glimpse of you. You looked determined and without a doubt aiming for a homerun. If I were to group the children in that room, there would be the ones who would be complaining and wanting to go home as soon as possible and there are the ones who are eager to make themselves stand out. You're the latter while me on the other hand is neither.

My reason to take part on the said audition is something one could laugh about, anyone can achieve it anyway with a proper job. I did not complain either as I wanted to try it out myself. I've always thought I'll just play along and go whatever goes. But then at that time when you passed by my side, you tapped my shoulder and gave me that small push.

"Hey! Let's do our best! Okay!"

You were trying to release the tension building up in you and that tap can be given to anyone. But did you know that little push from 13 years ago helped me get by up to this day?

A rush of excitement went through me. I decided to do my best and cheer you on from behind. I admired your determination. Even though, at the end of that day, the reward was small, I believe it's something that you will still treasure and remember on the day you stand up on your own spotlight.

Do you remember? I nod back at you and you gave me the best smile that you have. It was toothy, wide and cute. Your eyes almost turned into a line of lashes. Before you went back to your line you gave me a last look and said, "Hey you have a nice hat!"

I felt butterflies in my stomach. "R-right…"

Not long time ago, a rumor was spread and eventually made it to the papers. I was in shock when Yuto brought it to the dressing room. Everyone felt the awkward air inside the room when it was finally out in the open. "Ah… I-I didn't mean to bring this uh… ha…ha-ha-ha" Yuto laughed nervously.

"Maa… Whatever. It's there. Right?" Hikaru tries to brighten the mood and put his arm around Kota's shoulder.

Smiling awkwardly, the older man replied playfully. "Desu yo ne~ Right? Right?" A hint of gloom can be seen in his eyes but he tries hard to put up a smile. No one wants to ruin their mood anyway because today is going to be long day for them. He picked up the magazine that is almost full of lewd pictures inside. "But I wonder why Yuto-kun bought this. Ah~! Could it be puberty?"

"S-sou! Sou da yo! I'm also a man you know! Your 20 years old full grown adult! R-right?" Yuto exclaimed following his elders while taking the boke role. Everyone laughed from the cheap joke while teasing the taller man that all that is 'grown'in him is his height. At some point Yamada and Daiki followed up a comment about the difference of their height and appearance in terms of being a grown man.

I sighed in relief. We somehow managed to skip that awkward moment. I once again glanced at Kota, he seems to be enjoying himself now. Better than the other day when he was called out in the President's office to be told off about the arising issue. Better than the last few months, when I accidentally saw him bawling for the first time. Probably calling it bawling was too much but he was taking it all out to Hikaru.

Sometimes I wished I was that person he could open up easily about this kind of things. Well, they say our phase match well when talking about random things and random ideas. But I hoped for more. Sometimes I wonder what if my name has a letter 'Y' at the beginning. Would I be chosen to be in the same group as Kota and Hikaru? Would he talk to me just like how he talks to Hikaru? Will I never feel left out whenever they talk about their previous members and group? I know it's nothing that I should sweat about. I knew Shoon and Taiyou from when we were juniors. Our groups almost always met. But memories from the time they were together can't be matched. Or so what I think.

I sighed again for the third time. This time, it caught Kota's attention. He has the tendency to notice small things especially regarding the members. After all he stands as the leader of the group even though it was not written or said, everyone looks up to him. "What's up today?" He approached me with care and dropped his bottom to the comfy sofa.

"Ah… ~" My voice pitched up as usual. Not that he really mind that. "I messed up the routine today. I just can't get that step." I lied. Deep inside I was waiting for him to point out my real worries. But he's no ESPER or a mind reading hobo, he's just Yabu Kota. I knew that.

"Maa maa… I did not do well today. Also…there's that h-hahaha!"

"That? A-ah!" I suddenly felt the weird aura from earlier. He was referring to the magazine. Kota probably still haven't gotten over it yet. He even brought the awkward thing to the conversation himself. Maybe… just maybe this could be a chance.

"Say… Want to go Karaoke later?" From out of nowhere, Kota asked.

It's a lie if I did not get surprised from the sudden invitation. My eyes widen for a while. Can he now read minds? "Eh? A-ah uhn"I disposed the previous idea and agreed to come along anyway.

"What? It's been a while since the last trip we went right?" He laughed at my silly reaction.

"Oh! A trip! That sounds good~" Chinen prop his head up from behind the sofa.

I turned my head to the cute little man. His face has matured a bit but he still looks like the same old kid who sits on everyone's lap. "Chinen, want to tag along? Though we're only going out for Karaoke."

"Ii na~ but don't mind me, I understand. It's a man to man talk right? I understand! This 20 year old fully grown adult understands." The little man declared while imitating Yuto. Which somehow earn him teases and praises from Yuto and Keito. Among the member of 7 he's probably the one who thinks maturely and can quickly get the atmosphere the most.

The practice session ended well. We managed to get back on our pace and got the right rhythm. Hikaru and Yamada's advice sure helped a lot again. When it comes to dance performance, I wouldn't doubt about Yamada's skills and Hikaru's accuracy to point out which part is right and wrong. On the other hand, Kota has his own ways doing those steps so I did not bother asking him.

We exited the building and went on separate ways with the other members. Takaki must be taking out the rest of the members to some fancy restaurant again. As for us, Kota and I, we made some sort of arrangement to take different roads and meet up on a certain Karaoke bar. I heard he and Chinen usually does this as part of the entertainment, to know who gets there first on which road. His childish side is still there, isn't it? Well it's not like my childish heart has left me already. But this silly arrangement made me remember those days when we were in a certain variety show.

Back then, we run around that large field and later found ourselves hiding in the same spot. Back then, I always wished we'd bumped into each other. But time certainly flies fast. We've grown a bit older and even though we are now on the same group, we took different courses along the way. I never really had a chance to tag along as much as we used to before. I went to University and got some friends, you went on your own and made friends of your own. You even got a girlfriend which I never thought myself of having one.

Time sure flies fast. You were a bit different from what I used to know you. Sometimes I may even dare say that I feel alienated, feeling indifferent whenever I see you around with someone else. Do you remember? On our second meeting, you managed to remember me as the kid with a nice hat. We got along well and ever since we thought we'd stay close together. I wished so too.

"Oi!" The familiar small face with those almost disappearing eyes called out to me from a distance. I arrived a few minutes earlier than him.

"So how was Road B?" I inquired assuming it's longer than the one I took.

"It's actually a shortcut, I did a little detour."

"You knew that beforehand didn't you? Mou~ you actually made me walk longer." I slapped my knees while giving a soft laugh.

He whistled as if trying to pretend that he didn't knew. "Of course not~ No way I would do that" and then he smiled warmly back at me. Unlike the wide smile he used to give, it was gentle and relaxed.

"More importantly, did you not forget your hat today?" He placed a rather simple black hat on my head and patted my head lightly. "Oh~ it looks better on you than what I thought, Inoo-chan!"

This time, my heart skipped a beat.

Sometimes a little memory that is known to only the two of you is more than enough than look back on the missed chances that you failed to be with each other on the past. And it is more than enough to make your heart race even just for a little bit.