WHY?
I come back to you,
I would have thought you would embrace me,
Welcome me back home.
But instead you just hit me,
Tackled me to the ground,
Punched me in the face,
Then you head-butted me,
Starting streams of blood down my face.
Then you stormed off without me...
And I walked home defeated.
I thought you wanted me back...
Did you not?
Why did this all have to happen, John?
For once I don't understand,
I can't deduce,
I don't know why...
I apologized, did I not?
No...no I didn't,
Here you see a man who cannot express any word of sympathy...
Who can't prevent from sounding stuck up and rude...
It's not your fault...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Please forgive me.
I am incapable of emotion...
I cannot express in words what I really have to say.
I don't know how to explain the small things that you cherish.
I can't see...I'm blinded from simplicity.
I'm not a happy man,
I have a storm inside that cannot be calmed,
A storm of foreign feelings I do not understand.
I am at the flat...but it is not home...not without you...
As I lay here I try to deduce...
What are these droplets falling from my eyes?
What is this nagging feeling lodged in the heart that I never knew that I had?
What is this horrid yank I feel in my gut upon seeing the pained expression on your face?
Why do I suddenly feel empty inside?I
Why do I feel the need to protect you?
Why do I wish you were in my arms now?
What is this sudden flash of anger I get when I see you holding hands with that woman?
Why are my cheeks wet with the running waterfalls from my eyes?
Why am I second guessing and lamenting my two-year holiday?
Why is my stomach fluttering uneasily?
Why do my eyes run when I think of you?
Why do I wish I never said some of the things that had escaped my tongue?
Are these strange things the "emotions" you speak of?
They don't make any sense...
Why do I have them?
Why are they hitting me like your punches?
Why do they hurt, John?
Why do they hurt?
OH GOD, THEY HURT!
Is it possible that I actually care about someone?
I don't know...I don't know...
I feel lost. I feel as though I don't belong anywhere.
Come back and save me John...
I'm terrified,
I cannot solve the mystery of simplicity of life...
Of this strange emotion that rips at my insides.
I need your help,
I need you friendship,
Please come home...
Come back to me before it's too late,
...I said I was sorry...