Cold…
Empty…
Alone…
That was the feeling that pervaded the great hall in the main Sohma estate that lonely New Years Eve. Outside the wind blew violently, a rare winter storm making itself known and adding to the forlorn atmosphere within the dark, chilly room.
At the head of the room sat a solitary figure. Barely visible in the darkness of the chamber, the figure sat unmoving, the only signs of life being the even breathing and slight shiver that periodically made its way through the slight frame.
Alone…
That was it. That's what it felt like. That's what it had felt like ever since the Junnishi had been freed from the curse of the zodiac. But tonight, on the eve of the great banquet that had always existed for those with the bond, it was especially sharp.
The figure slumped forward slightly, blank eyes staring out unseeing into the room. Memories of the past flashed through her mind, the former god of the zodiac remaining in silent reminiscence about banquets long passed. Junnishi in beautiful robes danced across her vision, changing out as the different years played out. Memories of watching the individuals connected by the bond recreate the cycle of the Zodiac each year, joining her one night a year, silently reminding her that she had a purpose; she had meaning; she was loved.
But that love didn't last…
"They'll come…"
A lie.
"They always come. It's part of our bond."
A false dream.
"They won't all leave me. I know they'll come."
Hopeless wishes.
"Why don't they come? It's getting late."
Delusion.
"If they don't hurry they'll miss the banquet completely."
Realization.
Akito drew her knees to her chest, the burgundy coat slipping slightly from her shoulders as she hid her feet beneath the oversized Yukata. She didn't bother to reset it. Pale hands came to rest on top of her knees, her eyes transitioning to the tatami mats directly in front of her. Outside the wind raged, shaking the doors and creating a harsh rattle that echoed through the house. Akito didn't seem to notice.
Looking out into the room again, her eyes were clear and she silently scanned the empty space, her gaze moving across each area in front of her and then coming to rest on the empty space at her left. Instead of one of her precious Junnishi, all that rested on the mat was a small tray with a set of thirteen tiny, round, wooden animals; one for each year of the Zodiac plus the cat. The small collection had been a parting gift from Shigure; the last thing that he had given her before he too had left her.
He had stayed longer than the others, which is why his departure had hurt so much. Akito honestly wasn't surprised by his actions. He had done the same thing for as long as she had known him. She knew it had been foolish to think that anything would have changed when he decided to stay with her at last. But knowing didn't make the pain any less.
Gently, Akito reached down and withdrew one of the small animals from it's place among the others; resting the tiny rat on her knee.
"Yuki…"
A gentle finger ran lightly over the head of the wooden rat affectionately; sadly.
"You were the first to come and the last to leave. Thank you…"
The rat was held a moment longer before it was placed among its companions once again. Shortly after, a second was withdrawn. This time it was the cat that came to rest on her knee. A remorseful look overtook her gaze as she looked at the small figure. It's painted smile looked back at her without any of the hate and resentment that the former cat had held. Her grip tightened around it, her head lowering quickly.
"I'm sorry." With haste the cat was returned to sit amongst its companions again.
With difficulty, Akito rose to her feet, carrying the small tray with her. Her movements were hesitant, though not out of any physical difficulty. Tears threatened to break from her eyes, but she held them back, not wanting to cry on what was supposed to be the greatest night for the zodiac; the night when god and the animals got together and celebrated the bond.
Without a word she made her way over to the door, sliding it back to meet the icy wind that entered the dark room. The tray shook in her hands at the cold, but she made no movement to close the door as she watched the swirling snow blowing past her on the wind.
She remained as she was, shivering against the chill, although she didn't register the cold, until an unexpected voice startled her, the tray of animals clattering onto the floor and small outer deck that stretched beyond the doorway.
"What are you doing Akito? You're going to catch your death doing that."
A hand quickly drew her back, closing the door and wrapping the discarded coat around her narrow, shaking shoulders. She watched numbly as the maid kicked aside the small animals on the ground in her haste to close the door and tend to her master. Like the former god,they had been discarded; forgotten. Lowering her head, she mutely followed the commands of the maid, who was bustling around her chastising the young Sohma leader for her reckless behavior. She followed as the maid returned her to her place at the head of the room before dismissing the maid to spend the new year with her own family.
As she sat alone in the room once more, the day dawned on a new year. No one was there to celebrate; to wish; or to remember. In the solitude of that dark room a silent phrase was uttered, Akito's eyes closed and turned toward the floor as a single tear fell from her eyes.
"Happy New Year."
No one heard her…
No one came…
She was alone.