The Melanchanoloy of Haruhi Suzumiya aka Gender Bend

Girls Bravo

Authors Note-So far I am a big fan of the whole gender bend of the Haruhi series but I find all the gender bend stories remix of the whole story unnecessary. I do like the concept of the gender bend of the female versions of the brigade but in my opinion that is unnecessary. I think the male characters of the gender bender are good enough and this is my vision of how the whole entire male casts were gender bend. I hope you enjoy since this is totally different from the novels and its original work from me. This is what I think and vision of what the gender bending of Haruhi should be.

Brief summer

Haruhi nearly gets raped. Because of this incident Haruhi has lost hope for men and decided to create a world with just women. Kyon becomes a girl and Kyon in the only one in that girl's world who realizes that everybody turned into a girl. Now he must find out what caused Haruhi to do this and what really happened to this so called rape story and what really happened to Haruhi.

Major spoilers ahead if you have not read the novels.

The Innocence of Haruhi Suzumiya

Prologue

Well to start off, let me say that this is far worse than when Haruhi vanished and created that alternate world. But let's just say the current event right now is similar to that event. Oh why oh why does Haruhi have to do this to me? Honestly what have I done? What I have I done to provoke this incident? I mean that alternate world freaking me enough why do I have to go through something like that again? Well maybe not like that but let's just say it is like that and it's far more worse. It's even worse than repeating that summer vacation 15,498 times. No, far more worse then that. Even worse than that ski trip. Why must I suffer? Why must I suffer for what Haruhi has done or created? I understand what kind of person she is. I understand what she is capable of. But, to me, Haruhi is Haruhi. She is just an annoying little energetic brat who does not know the meaning of 'stop'. But after what l learned from this incident, I finally understand the hardship Miss Asahina goes through. As for Yuki, my opinion did not change. Koizumi? Let's not mention that name for now. Where do I begin? I guess I should begin when things were actually peaceful. The time when Haruhi's stupid imagination did not run wild and the world I knew was at bay. Yes, it feels real nice and nostalgic thinking back to the good old days. The day before "That" happened.

Chapter 1

It was a typical school day. Nothing unusual happened when I arrived in the class room. Haruhi did not arrive yet so I decided to sit down and enjoy the moment of peace before that idiot mongering Haruhi comes in bursting into the classroom. I know that she was going to be extra energetic. How do I know that? Today was Monday and that means that all the stuff Haruhi was conjuring during the 

weekends all explode on that day. The more reason to hate Mondays. Can Monday get any worse? But, I found something weird today. Haruhi was a bit late. Late than usual. I know she comes in late time to time but today was different. Well no matter, to me it was the most peaceful Monday of my life. Well, before I got into Haruhi whole brigade that is. Right when the bell for first period rang, Haruhi still did not show up. Why was she so late? Wait? Am I worrying about her? Nonsense. Maybe Haruhi won't show up for the day? Maybe she is sick? Oh boy would that be great! Maybe for once I can enjoy Miss Asahina tea with quite and peace without Haruhi. But my hopes were crushed to pieces when Haruhi came barging into the classroom. Well there goes my little time of peace.

I could tell that Haruhi was not acting normal. Wait a minute? When did she ever act normal? Haruhi came barging right toward me and started yelling. Did she not know that already class started? I could see our home room teacher Mr. Okabe bewildered by what he was seeing. He knew all the antics Haruhi did but this was probably his first time seeing Haruhi all bursting up. I could tell by her fearing eye filled with firing rage that something must have happened to her. Ugh, why was she so pissed off? I would like to find out whom or what cause Haruhi to be like this. Anyway the first thing Haruhi said to my face was "I hate men!"

"Hate men?" I could not help myself looking dumbfound at her. What did she mean by that? Has she lost all respect for all male counterparts? "Wo Wo settles down, what do you mean by that?"

"Did you not hear me Kyon?" She pointed her index finger right at my face. Does she not know that it's rude to point?

"Calm down Haruhi! What is the matter with you today? Did something happen?" I don't know why I was being so nice. I guess I just wanted her to calm down and shut up. Haruhi quickly sat down on her chair pulled her chair close to me and started blabbering out like a machine. If I put a box over her head would she stop yelling? Even amidst all this everyone was shocked at what happened to Haruhi. Even Mr. Okabe was interested in her quirky story. So, the entire classroom was glued to Haruhi and Haruhi only.

"Ok this is what exactly happened. Yesterday, since it was Sunday I was just bored sitting around my house. So I decided to go for a stroll. Well, at first I was going to call the Brigade members so we could do something but Mikuru was busy so with Yuki. I called Koizumi after that but he said something about his part time job. Then I tried calling you but you never answered. What's up with that? I called you at least 10 times."

Huh? Funny I don't remember Haruhi calling me on my cell. Maybe because I knew that you were going to call me so I put my cell on silent. I at least want my Sunday to be free from your wretched hands. I guess it was a wise decision but if I knew Haruhi was going to be all acting up I might as well answered. Oh well can't do anything now.

"Never mind about that." Haruhi flanged her hands as she said that. She always does that when she just wants to continue her conversation. "Anyway while I was strolling around I saw these two guys. You should have seen these two guys. They were hitting on every girl they saw! And for some odd 

reason when they gave eye contact with me they started following me. I mean I have no trouble taking care of two scum like them but I don't like to be followed. I don't like it when someone is behind me. Beside they could have got hurt if they got in my way."

Who do you think you are Haruhi? Golgo 13? But I was a bit surprised to hear this story. Those 2 guys must have some balls to try to hit on Haruhi. Well they probably did not know who or what Haruhi was or what kind of person she is. Yeah from a stand point of a guy she's good looking but once you get to know her. You'll change your mind.

"Anyway they still kept on following so they really got on my nerves."

"So what did you do?"

"What did I do? I did what any girl would do. I confronted him, started yelling at them saying stuff like "Get away freak" or "Freak of nature like you polluting the earth" or "Guys like you are the reason why the polar ice caps are melting" or "If you come any closer you're going to get a divine punishment." You know the usual stuff."

Umm Miss Haruhi those are not the typical things a girl would do if a guy is following you. Usually you scream or call for help, you don't provoke them or threaten them. But, this was Haruhi; she's not your typical girl.

"Well guess what happened next? He friggin tried to rape me! Can you believe that?"

Wo Wo Wo a guy trying to rape Haruhi? No one in the world would dare to try to rape Haruhi. Man, those two must have been out of their minds.

"I mean he tried to touch me, he tried to attack me! So I did what any girl would do."

Oh Haruhi I wonder what that is? Your quote "Any girl would do" will not work for you Haruhi. You're not an ordinary girl Haruhi. Actually, you're not even an ordinary high school girl either.

"I kicked him right in the balls, both of them! You should have seen my kick Kyon. It was like a Falcon Kick, except 10 times more powerful and cooler."

I can tell that Haruhi was overdoing the story a bit. I wonder which part of the story is truth or which part of the story is false? Well if it's coming from Haruhi mouth it must be truth, I guess. "So what happened after words? I mean did these two guys go down that easily?"

"Well the funny thing is Kyon." From here and on she looked pleased telling her story. Whatever happened to that burst of anger just a moment ago? "Right when I beat the living hell out of them the cops showed up. Some kind of timing you know? So I told the cops that these two scumbags were trying to rape me and the cops took them away."

"Well thank god for that good timing Haruhi. I'm sure if those two tried their hardest they could have raped."



"What are you talking about?" Haruhi confidently spoke out loud. Were in a middle of class you know? "I am the almighty SOS Brigade Chief! Do you really think two measly scumbag can touch me? Who do you think I am!"

Geez she did not have to yell out so loud. But, she should consider herself lucky. There are many people in this world who actually get raped. But, I can't even imagine seeing Haruhi getting raped. As a matter of fact I can imagine Haruhi being the one raping.

"So is that it?"

"Is that it? Kyon were you even listening? I mean sure I'm a beautiful girl but no guy should try to rape me."

Something was fishy about this story. Did that actually really happen? I mean did Haruhi tell us the whole truth? Was she just being strong headed? Well she is always strong headed to begin with. I got a gut feeling that she was not telling the whole truth. "So that is your reason why you hate guys?"

"Yes."

Wow that was a blunt answer. Can't she give a better excuse? "So because you were almost raped you hate guys. How about me? I'm a guy."

"Oh you don't count Kyon."

I don't count? What does that supposed to mean? Does Haruhi even acknowledge me as a male? Well at this point I did not care. Maybe it was a good thing she did not acknowledge me as a guy. But when she said that. I can't help but to feel that her words just stuttered there for a moment? Nah maybe I'm just imagining things.

"Anyway I had enough with this story." I could tell that she looked over at our home room teacher and the classrooms peers. "What are you all looking at? Shouldn't we be studying or something?"

The whole entire class room just froze for a moment. This has not happened since the first day of school when Haruhi said her introduction. Well, after that class resumed. No one seemed to want to praise Haruhi for her bravery. Maybe they were a bit afraid. They could already tell that Haruhi was stressed out. Maybe it was for her best to just leave her alone for a while. At least, that's what I thought. Anyway after the first period everybody seemed go back to their normal routine. But, Haruhi, she still laid her head on that table. Was she tired or something? I have not seen her like this since beginning of the school year. I remember that faithful day when Haruhi was like this. We were both transported that that damn closed space and this world was nearly destroyed. On that day at school Haruhi was like that too. What's wrong Haruhi? What happened to that burst of energy just a moment ago? Did she want something? Did she want comforting words like "Are you ok" or something? But what did I know. Haruhi was too hard to read. It's impossible to read her like a book. Sometimes I wonder, what is going inside that head of her?

Chapter 2

The school day actually went by quick. Haruhi was still just laying her head on that table. Man what is up with her today? All of a sudden she was bursting with anger and now she was still like a stone. Was she sleeping? Either way I went on ahead to the SOS Brigade room. It was Haruhi turn to clean the chalkboard today so I knew that she was coming in late. I felt a bit stressed out from the morning so I hurried toward the club room. I really wanted to have some of Miss Asahina tea. The only salvation in my life at the moment was that tea and seeing Miss Asahina in that cute maid outfit. But right when I came into the room something happened. It took me off by surprise. Miss Asahina came bursting out from the door in a hurry. She bumped right into me.

"Owww. OH Kyon!" she rubbed her cute face as she tried to tell me something. I felt horrible hurting that angelic face of hers. Stupid me! What have I done? "I'm so sorry Kyon but I'm in a hurry."

"Are you ok Miss Asahina?" She seemed quite in a hurry. I wonder what happened to her. It's been a while since I saw her this panicky. Something must have happened. "What's wrong Miss Asahina? Did something happen?"

"No nothing happened." Her soft musing voice was like music to my ears. "It's just that something suddenly came up. I have to go so I'm very sorry Kyon."

I tried to stop her but she just dashed out the room. I wonder what happened. Did something happen to her? If so something big must have happened. I never had seen Miss Asahina run so fast. She was never fast to begin with. I had no choice but to go into the room all disappointed and grungy. I was expecting Miss Asahina warm welcoming when I knock on that door. Opening that door and seeing a majestic looking Maid welcoming me as if I'm the master. OH Miss Asahina come back!

Once I regained my consciousness from seeing Miss Asahina go I retained myself and entered the club room without Miss Asahina welcoming voice. To my big surprise, no one was in the clue room. Nagato or Koizumi is nowhere to be found. To my shock I sat down silently. Were the hell was everybody? Usually Nagato is always sitting in the corner of the room reading a book. But, today, that chair is empty and all the board games Koizumi brought are untouched. What the hell is going on here? Well maybe they were coming in late. Besides if I left early I'm sure that Haruhi will be nagging about it the next day. I stayed in that club room all by myself. Even when the sun started to go down and the sky went orange no one showed up. Did everyone forget that today is a school day or something? Well there was no point in waiting anymore. I decided to leave school and head home. I was pretty tired to begin with. I would have taken a nap but it would be too risky taking a nap in the brigade room. If Haruhi saw me taking a nap she would surly do something. Like draw on my face or put cream all over my face, or do something to my face. I headed home as usual.



Once I reached home I skipped dinner and went straight toward my bed. My idle sister who still insists calming me "Kyon" wondered why I was so tired. I did not answer her. I would have answered her if she called me big brother. I miss those days when she used to call me that. I don't know why I felt so tired honestly. I mean yah I felt tired during school but not this tired. It felt as if someone forced drug me into taking sleeping pills. My body just felt incredibly heavy and my eye sight started to blur. Yep, I was tired all right. I put my bag on my desk and plummeted toward my bed. I was way too tired. I quickly covered the bed sheet over my body. I felt incredibly comfortable for some odd reason. My bed started to feel like marshmallow and my pillow felt like a stream of clouds. Wait! How do I know how clouds feel? Ah forgot it. I slowly and slowly went into deep slumber.

During this time I should have noticed that Koizumi, Miss Asahina and even Nagato called my cell phone. But, my cell was still on silent from yesterday because I wanted to doge Haruhi call. So I never got their call. From that day on I regretted putting my cell on silent. I should have never done that.

I could tell that morning came. The bright sunshine beamed out from my window and shunned at my face. I can hear the birds chirping, telling me to wake up. My alarm clock started ringing loudly. Ugh, I hate that alarm clock. Sure, it's effective but none the less, I hate alarm clocks. That is why I don't want to wake up. Because I hate that alarm clock for waking me, the more I want to sleep. I'm fighting against that damn alarm clock for waking me and to counter the alarm clock I try to go back to sleep. But the damn alarm clock has back up. And that back up is my little sister. My little sister came barging into my room. I can hear her loud squeaky voice "Come on wake up! Wake up!"

As usual she started pounding on my head, jumping on top of my bed, which hurts quite a bit you know? Then finally she would drag me out of bed. Ugh I hate her for doing this but I should really appreciate her. Without her I would probably be late for school every day. I was still dizzy and drowsy. Every time I wake up sometime I feel the other half of my body is still asleep. I got up slowly like a snail. My body refuses to work at full function in the morning. My sister kept on yelling and yelling. But she was saying some real funny stuff. "Come on Kyon! You better wake up and treat your hair! It looks like a mess! Do you need help with your hair again Kyon?"

My hair? What on earth was this girl talking about? As I was walking toward the sink I noticed that it was only 7:00. What the hell? School does not start ill another hour and a half. Give me a break little sis did you wake me up at the wrong time? I tried to crawl back toward the bed because my little sis woke me up at the wrong time. I could at least sleep for another half an hour. I need that extra half an hour!

"What are you doing Kyon? Come on hurry up and get dressed already!"

"Shut up! It's only 7:00."

"I always wake up you up at 7:00. Besides it takes at least an hour to prep you up."

At least an hour? What the hell was she talking about? Seriously did this girl bump her head or something? But, my little sister insisted that I get up and go to the sink. Man, what is up with her today? 

My peripheral vision was still hazy so I could not see clearly. I got up to the sink and open the mirror cabinet to get my tooth brush. As I started washing my face my little sister got out something that totally took me off by surprise. It was a girls uniform. But not any girls uniform it was the North High girls uniform. What the hell was that doing here? In my room?

"What the hell is that?" I pointed my finger right at that uniform. I don't ever remember collecting school uniforms. I mean I'm not one of those creeps who collect sailor uniforms and dress in them.

My little sister looked a bit confused. "What do you mean Kyon? This is your uniform?"

Wait what? Go back there for a second. My uniform? When did I ever wear a girl's uniform? When did I ever cross dress? Is my little sister really ok? Did her brain just disappear or something? "What are you talking about? Why would I need a girl's uniform? Are you ok?"My little sister glared over at me. Looking at me strangely. Why did she look at me like that? It looked as if she is the one who thinks I'm crazy.

"But Kyon. You're a girl. Girls wear girl's uniform."

Did I hear that correctly? Was I spacing out? Did my ears just magically decide to lose its hearing? "What did you just say?"

"What? Girls wear girl's uniform?"

"NO! The one before that."

"You're a girl?"

When I heard her say that and made her repeat it at least 3 times I quickly looked over at the mirror in the sink. Usually I don't take a close look at the mirror since I'm all hazy and drowsy in the morning so it's hard for me to see. To my biggest most utmost shock and surprise I glared into the mirror and saw a small looking cute girl with long hair. I started to rub my eyes. I looked again and the same girl was in the mirror. I rubbed my ears harder and I saw the same cute majestic silky hair girl standing before me. I looked down at my hand and noticed they were small and frail. Just like a girl's hand. Then, I noticed some kind of lump between my chest. Could this be? I slowly laid my hands on it. It was soft and small. I don't remember having these. I slowly looked under my shirt and noticed something horrible. Well, maybe not horrible but still shocking at that point.

I had breasts! Friggin breast! Boobs! Whatever people call it these days. I have something that I'm not supposed too. I quickly covered my shirt. I could not believe my eyes. Maybe this was all a dream? Maybe I'm hallucinating. But once I checked one more thing. I knew this was no dream. I took my hand and touched down "There". If I'm missing the most important part of the male body, it means I have turned into a female. I slowly put my hands down there and to my surprise I had nothing! Nothing down there. I slowly pulled down my pants and noticed I was wearing panties. Panties! Oh you gotta be kidding me. I could not help but to be aroused by this. I quickly pulled up my pants because I could not 

handle the situation. I looked over at the mirror again. There standing a cute young teenage girl. "WHATE THE # SHIT # IS THIS!!"