The Never Ending Deep Dark

Henry stood leaning against Vicki's door with his head in his hands. His friend and former lover had died tonight and the only place he could think of to grieve was with Vicki, but he had slammed a door in her face. He needed her and that was the thought that drove him as he started banging on her door until she looked out the peephole exclaiming, "You!" Then she opened it saying, " Do you have any idea what time it is? This damn well better be important." She stood in the door way wearing a thin tank and sleep shorts and snapped, "I should slam the door in your face and go back to bed. I owe you that."

Henry looked tired and if possible, very old and said, "Perhaps you should." He added softly, "May I come in?"

Vicki stepped back and he entered the small apartment. He didn't take the time to look around before pulling her into his arms saying, "Hold me. I need you."

Vicki's arms wrapped around him and she held him close as he lay his ear on her shoulder with his hair rubbing her cheek. She ran her hands up and down his back and rocked him. Finally taking a deep breath, he stepped back saying, "I've no right to be here, but I have no where else to go, no one else to share this with. My long time friend and one time lover died tonight. My life's falling apart and no matter which way I turn, I'm losing someone I care about."

Vicki, whose usual approach to life was a smart answer and a joke, looked into Henry's heartbroken eyes and led him to the couch. "Sit. I'll be right back." She went into the bedroom and pulled on yesterday's top and this week's jeans. She came back out, sat next to him, took one of his cool hands into her warm ones and said, "Tell me."

Henry looked down at his pale hand and compared it to hers. The life that pulsed through it reminded him of his lover's hand until death changed it. "You know what I am. I've had many friends and a few true loves over the years. Jeffrey was one of my true loves. I've known him since he was eighteen when he was a lost soul wandering the streets. I helped him and he offered me his blood and his love. I accepted both and encouraged him go to college. Later, he found a job and a life. We remained close, but never lived together. His choice, not mine. I've watched him succeed in life, and we loved in secret. Tonight we were together talking, his hand went to his chest, I felt his pain and his heart stopped. There was no use in calling for aid, the whole heart was gone. Vicki, I had to leave him alone in his home, to be found in the morning by a housekeeper." Henry stopped talking then added, "I needed to tell someone that would understand and that is you."

Vicki sighed. During her years as a cop she had to tell families about the loss of a loved one. She had sat beside them and watched them cry. The one thing she could offer was an ear to listen and she could give Henry no less, "Tell me the rest. How long were you together?"

Henry thought about earlier that evening when he sat across from Jeffrey in his study:

Jeffrey had asked, "What's on your mind?"

"I've made a miscalculation. I've met my soul mate and slammed a door in her face."

The old man shifted in his chair trying to find a way to ease the pain in his chest, "Why did you do that?"

"She made me angry. She refused to leave with me. I've told you about her and the continuous messes she seems to get herself into. She's fought for me, with me, and I've fought for her and with her. She's everything I've ever wanted in a lover, but we've never had sex. She's given me her blood. I feel her inside me."

"Why are you leaving here?"

"The forces that are attracted to her have found me and where I live. It's far to risky for me to remain here. Besides, too many people are aware of the existence of vampires. Even you may be at risk."

"Well we've been extremely careful over the years. No one can connect us. Henry, if you love her as much as you say you do, don't be a damn fool. Tell her and stay with her until she realizes how much you care for her. Don't make the same mistakes we've made. I've loved you my entire life and never admitted it to anyone. What good is love if it is kept to yourself?"

Henry answered, "We were together over sixty years. I haven't shared his bed or blood in the last few years, but I often visited with him. We'd talk, remembering the good and the bad. We'd argue religion, politics, the meaning of life and love. He was a good man and lived in the closet with regard to sexual preference even after it became popular to be gay. He lived a scholarly life and as far as I know, I was his only lover."

This was not her joking, laughing Henry, nor the angry Henry see had seen in recent weeks. Tonight she saw a loving, caring, hurting Henry. He was what he was. She could either accept him or not, but she couldn't abandon him in his time of need. She held him close and whispered, "Tell me more."

"He was a teacher and tomorrow you'll read in the papers how one of Toronto's most beloved educators died in his home sitting by a fire drinking a cup of tea. They'll talk about his books and his contribution to future generations. No one will ask about his personal life because so many friends will step forward talking about how he helped them. He enjoyed a good meal, a play, a sporting event, or a musical. He was good for a laugh or a loan. The only secret he had was me." Henry didn't say more for a long time then asked, "Will you let me stay here today?"

Vicki saw her hurting friend, "You'll have to cover the window."

Vicki found an old blanket and some tacks, handing them to him she said, "I can't find a hammer, so use the heel of your shoe."

He took the blanket and used his thumb to push the tacks into the woodwork. When the window was covered he asked, "Will you hold me until morning?"

Vicki nodded and asked, "Do you need to feed?"

"No. I need a friend. Vicki, we need to talk. I can't lose anyone else. Think about what I asked you. I want you to come with me."

Vicki pointed to the bed and said, "Get in and scoot over next to the wall. We'll talk later."

They lay together like two spoons in the drawer, him facing the wall, and her, as close to his back as she could get with her arm draped over his waist and their fingers locked together. She fell asleep as he let go of life for the day.

Henry wasn't sure if it was the loss of a beloved friend, or the sense of Vicki being near that had his emotions in an uproar. Sitting straight up in bed, fighting for breath with eyes dark and fangs visible he needed to feed. He turned his head and saw Vicki. He lunged, sank his fangs into her throat and felt the hot rush of her blood on his lips and tongue as he gulped. He drank deeply with his passion out of control as his hands explored her body, ripping away her clothes. Moving hips from side to side he forced her legs apart and his cock was rammed deeply into her cunt while his hands continued there muscle bruising massage. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she felt his desparate need wash over her. She gave him all of herself as he continued to demand more.

Henry fought the vampire and regained control of his actions. He licked the wound and felt her slip into unconsciousness. He pushed himself back off of her, out of her, and looked at what he had done. Her breathing was uneven and her color a waxy pale except for the purple bruises.

"Oh God, what have I done?" He gathered her up in his arms much they way she had held him the night before and said, "Don't die. Don't leave me."

Vicki took a deeper breath, "Cut the crap. I'm not dead."

Henry, relieved and annoyed said, "I could've killed you. As it is, I've taken too much blood and raped you."

"You're an idiot." She sat up and leaned against him, "I knew you'd stop, and it's not rape when the other party is a willing participant. The thing you carry around inside was hurt and angry and I felt it's hunger. It needed to feed before the sun came up but you held it back. Tonight it would have been out control and you would have killed during the hunt. I wanted to be here for the vampire so it could feed without killing."

"Most likely that's true, but how could you be so sure I would stop feeding in time? As for the other, you've said no often enough."

"Because I know my vampire. There's orange juice and cookies in the kitchen, get them for me. Then we're going to have that long overdue talk."

Henry pulled on his boxers and went to Vicki's kitchen where he found the juice and a box of cookies. He also saw that day's newspaper on the table. The above the fold article was about Jeffery Dawes, his sudden passing and contributions to the city, the country, and as a scholar of history. Vicki had also left a DVD labeled televised biography of Jeffrey Dawes.

Henry took Vicki the juice and cookies and placed the disc in the DVD player. He watched it through twice before speaking.

Vicki ignored the juice and cookies as she studied his face. She watched him smile, then shake his head and once or twice laugh out loud mumbling to himself, "I remember when that happened." The end of the recording gave the date and time of the formal memorial.

Henry hit stop and said, "You're the most remarkable person I've ever known."

Vicki had slid back down under the covers during the replay. She turned to her side and raised herself up on an elbow saying, "Why say that?" She pointed to the newspaper picture of Jeffrey, " He's the remarkable one. I attended one of his lectures. He held the auditorium spell bound for over 90 minutes and made history come alive."

He kissed her frown, "You've fought for me, you've fed me, you've watched over me, and you've given me your understanding. How can I even begin to tell you what you mean to me?"

"I can't give you the one thing you want. I can't leave with you."

"Why? Can't you feel it? We belong together. Jeff said that the last time we talked. He told me I was a fool if I let you get away."

"I've felt your desire since the first time I met you. You've asked me if I've felt any different after drinking your blood. I've always said no. I lied. I've felt a great deal. I feel your vampire. I know when it's hungry, or angry or needs passion. Henry, I love the vampire in you and it takes a continuous effort on my part not to beg you for more. I want you to stay in Toronto."

"It's not that simple. We've made too much noise in the world of humans and the others. Those marks on your arms, my use of magic, Sinead, the loss of Raymond to Astaroth and even Christina's meddling in my life has called attention to me and mine. I can't hide for much longer in this city, neither can you." He reached for her adding, "If you feel the vampire's call, it's too late to turn back. You're changing."

She pulled back and whispered, "I know, all I can think about is tasting your blood ."

Henry started to bring his wrist up to his fangs and Vicki placed her hand over his mouth, "Not yet. Give me time to settle at least a few issues. I can't leave this life without some arrangements being made."

Henry looked at her, "You're not the least bit afraid, are you? I'll do what I can. I'll wait until after Jeff's memorial and the emptying of the condo, then you'll have to drink my blood. I'm staying here during the days, and staying close during the nights."

"Henry you're a pushy, irritating, spoiled son of a king, who's used to getting his own way."

Henry pinned her down on the bed, "I want some loving without the vampire's help."

Vicki brought her legs up, wrapped them around Henry's waist and crossed the ankles, "That's a plan I can live with."