A/N: I haven't written in a long time. I think this is legal. It has no last names. But I guess I'll be putting it somewhere else if it gets deleted. I'm a little rusty I think… lemme know.

BREIF SUMMARY: Miley's at the AMAs. She runs into Nick who is strangely kind to her. Her useless boyfriend invites him to the private birthday party they are holding at Miley's house after the show. All of the kids are there and there's so much tension you can cut it with a knife. The worst part is that Miley's best friend has found a very informative collection of diary entries on Miley's computer detailing everything that she's been through in the last eighteen months. These entries may hold the answer to bringing the old Miley back.

xo


Chapter One: The Best Part

The best part about being famous and going to awards shows was the gift lounges. Rooms, filled with things that you could take for free to use at your own consumption with only one condition: you had to be seen using or wearing the gifts the companies had selflessly bestowed onto you. For Miley, of course, that wasn't hard. She had cameras in her face all the time. She didn't need to try and get herself seen wearing certain merchandise… all she had to do was stand outside her front door and smile.

She'd heard on the grapevine of all her famous friends that the AMA gift lounge was going to be obscene with the amount of freebies they were handing out to their guests and nominees. She'd heard that they were up there with last years Oscars gift baskets with all kinds of things she didn't need in her possession. She would have killed to get some of those freebies. Someone had said that there had been a diamond watch or something in there. She loved watches. She would kill for a diamond watch. She had her Rolex, but that was it. A diamond watch would totally sort out her necessary watch needs.

If only she could get her lazy boyfriend off of her new white couch and out of the door so she could get there…

Let's stay in… let's watch a movie… he'd said when she'd given him the opportunity to get his hands to get on a helluva lotta free stuff for doing nothing but standing next to her and looking pretty. The idiot that she was, she had agreed and she had returned home from rehearsals to the piles of ten DVDs he'd rented from Blockbuster and popcorn which he knew she couldn't eat because of the effect it had on her teeth. He was lying across her white sofa with his dirty socks and his hands were greasy from the butter on his popcorn. The grease covered the leg of his sweats and there was a smudge she knew she'd be scrubbing off later from her couch he'd put there with those disgusting hands. He was really making himself at home, just like he had been slowly becoming more accustomed to over the last two months that she'd known him.

She was now regretting ever telling him to.

"Do you have any milk duds?" he asked as he looked into the deep empty bowl of popcorn he'd eaten all to himself, "I'm still a little hungry."

She stood up and walked to the kitchen, "You do realise that there is a complete full buffet at this gift lounge thing don't you?" she sighed as she opened up the cupboard and pulled out the required item, "There's gonna be loads of cool industry people there… and loads of people we already know… it'll be fun…"

"We've already been out like… four times already in the past two weeks…"

She rose her eyebrows and paused in the doorway, "But we've spent every other spare moment in here watching movies… why don't we go do something different…?"

He shook his head and rolled onto his side to see the television better, "I'm not in the mood…" he screwed up his face and shifted, "Something's vibrating against me…" he moved over and looked around, his hands roaming the couch, "It feels like one of those weird back massager things…"

Miley shook her head and stepped forward, shoving her hands behind his body and pulling out the object she'd spent the last hour of Back to The Future looking for.

"It's my phone, stupid…"

She grabbed the phone and shook her head at him. By the time she had removed the phone from between his ass and the back of the couch he had resumed his previous position and was now laughing his head off at that weird doctor with the white hair who, all in all, wasn't really that funny.

"Hello?" she mumbled as she stepped into the kitchen, throwing a look of annoyance at her younger brother.

"Hey bestieeee!" said the happy voice that Miley had longed to hear for days. It brought an instant smile to her face and she did a little jump in excitement. It was nice to talk to a relatable female for once instead of the ever so wonderful boyfriend she had that had come out of no where. It was amazing what a trip to the Cheescake factory could do for a girl's love life. "What time are you coming to pick me up?"

Miley frowned, "Pick you up for what?"

Mandy laughed, "AMA gift lounge silly!" she giggled and sighed, "So what time are you and the momma coming to get me so I can get me some new free kicks?"

Miley closed her eyes and looked around. Randomly, as though to stop herself from screaming, she knocked Braison's baseball cap straight off his head with one full swat against the peak. He jumped as Miley smiled in relief. She had been getting weirder and weirder as the days went on. It was worse than when she was with Nick. At least then she was just goofy in love, not painfully in like.

"We're not…" she mumbled guiltily, "Mom and dad have gone to get me emergency extra birthday gifts or something… and Justin says that he doesn't want to go… plus… Jason has the night off because tomorrow's going to be a busy day for him. It's one of the biggest awards shows of the year."

Mandy was silent, "So… no free stuff?"

Miley covered her eyes guiltily with her hand and shook her head, even though she knew that Mandy couldn't see. It was more out of desperation and guilt than stupidity. She hated it when she had to let Mandy down. Mandy had planned this gift lounge escapade since Miley had known she had been performing on the stupid awards. Now, Miley was breaking her heart and separating her from the opportunity to totally drain all the companies out of their free merchandise.

"I'm sorry… it's just… there's no one to take me and I need to sleep before my birthday and stuff…" Miley explained weakly, "I promise you that the next awards show with a gift lounge… we will go and you can have my pair of free kicks and your own…"

Her best friend said nothing. She just remained on the line, silently trying to read each breath and pause of her young friend and what the heck could possibly be going on in that head of hers. They hadn't spoken in days and when they had done it had been very brief and scarce of detail. They had been to Europe and even though the plan had been to spend as much time with each other as humanly possible, they had spent hardly any time together as Miley had zoomed around London, Paris and Berlin every days like it she was simply hopping in the car to Target and back. The only free time they had when she wasn't travelling the continent had been when she had returned back to the hotel, and that time had been solely reserved for the sleeping Miley was desperate to do. All in all… it had made them more pissed than they had wanted to be…

Miley and Mandy were soon realising that one of them having a boyfriend and the other an up-and-coming career wasn't the best thing for their relationship… in fact it was struggling…

"Do you want me to drop by so we can talk?" the elder girl asked in hopes that Miley would tell her what the hell was going on with her, "We haven't talked in what seems like years…"

"Justin's here…" Miley said to her like it was an explanation. She sighed, "I don't think he'd be impressed if I just blew off our private time to see you…"

She cringed. That sounded rude and it hadn't meant to. She had just tried to explain that Justin wasn't too impressed by someone interrupting their relationship with things he didn't understand. He and Mandy hadn't really got to know each other at all since Miley had been hanging out with him. Mandy hadn't been to sure of his reasons for wanting to be with Miley and Miley had failed in assuring her that they both really liked each other.

If truth be told, she was scared that Mandy's opinion would be more solidified into a negative one if she dropped by and saw him scratching his ass on the couch they had once shared all their secrets on. Mandy had always been so protective and so knowing of every which way that Miley thought, felt and understood things. They were like two peas in a pod, Miley and Mandy… they knew everything about each other without even saying anything. It was hard to find friends like that. Miley couldn't stand anything getting in the way of that, including Justin. So she tried to prevent it…

"Is something wrong, Miles?"

See? She knew everything. She was like… superhuman or something.

"What? Why?" she laughed, "Why would anything be wrong?"

"You sound different…"

"I had the flu… I'm still fighting off the cold…"

"Its not that… it's your tone…" she paused, "Is something bothering you?"

Miley laughed yet again, only this time it was less convincing, "I'm fine, Mandy… there's nothing wrong with me. I just…" she was interrupted as Justin wrapped his arms around her waist, his lips falling onto her shoulder, causing her to silence instantly. She closed her eyes as he caressed her shoulder with his lips. She tried to open them and found it impossible. Her skin seemed to buzz strangely with each kiss and her whole body went on alert.

"Are you still there?"

Her eyes flew open and she coughed to clear her dry throat, "Yeah… I'm here." She turned into Justin as he kissed along her throat, "I was just… making dinner…" she covered her mouth trying not to sigh breathlessly into Justin and cause all kinds of trouble, "Are you still coming by in the morning so we can go to rehearsal together?"

"Yeah… that was the plan…" Mandy laughed, "Where's your head at?"

"I don't know," Miley said as she wrapped her spare arm around Justin's neck, "I gotta go… the delivery guys here…"

She hung up and forced her lips onto Justin's for a moment before she pushed him away successfully in one movement. She panted and shook her head at him as he attempted to kiss her again. She wanted him to… but she knew she shouldn't. It wasn't the time or the place for them to be having a full make-out session.

"You should go…"

"Why?"

"I have the AMAs tomorrow and I need sleep." She explained plainly, picking up his jacket from the kitchen counter and thrusting it towards him, "There's a lot of things I need to sort out too… I'll IM you later… or I'll call you. Whatever is easier…"

He stared at her confused as she opened up the door and pushed him out, "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Sure…whatever…"

She slammed the door in his face and turned to rest her back against in exhausted.

She couldn't keep this up much longer.

A/N: whadaya think?

Reviews? Please… little bit of feedback?

Beth

xo