Hey everyone! This is my very first Deidara fanfic so I hope you all like it! Note, this is not a yaoi, I hate that! Dei-chan was born and raised a girl and Sasori no Danna was born and...created? a male puppet. Also, I love inserting Japanese phrases, so deal with that too.

Me: Dei! Do the disclaimer for me!

Deidara: No way! You're making me a girl in this story!

Disclaimer: Fine then. I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, although it'd be super cool if I did.

Chapter One: Welcome to Otonashi

I landed my clay bird near the edge of the forest, and it shrunk down in size. It jumped into my hand and I stuck it in my pocket before Migi(right) ate it.

My name is Deidara, ex-Iwagakure ninja, age 14. I'm not your ordinary ex-ninja, zenzen (not at all). I just finished blowing up some booming business factory down south. I'm sure no one saw me, but it didn't hurt to get as far away from the scene as possible. I just landed outside a tiny village called Otonashi (meek). Well, okay, it's not really that tiny, but smaller than I'm used to. "Okay Migi, Hidari, ikuzo!" I said, looking at my right and left hands respectively. Migi smiled at me but Hidari stuck out her tongue.

I stuck Hidari in my pocket and began to stroll towards the village. From the looks of it, it was a merchant town. As I passed, a bunch of guys stopped to stare at me, NOT unexpected. I stopped by a group of three girls. "Hi," I said. "Hi! I'm Megumi," said a particularly perky-looking girl with brown pigtails. "May I help you?" she asked. "I'm looking for a place to spend the night," I stated, carefully avoiding saying "un" (Yes, the wanted posters actually specify my speech patterns). The girl peered at me curiously and suddenly, her face lit up. "You're a ninja!" she exclaimed. Crap! I forgot to take off my forehead protector.

"Uh...yeah! I'm on my way to Amegakure, my village. You see, I just came back from a mission, and I'm too tired to make it back today," I said quickly, coming up with a lie on the spot. I shook my head; letting most of my hair cover most of my forehead protector. Luckily for me, Megumi and her friends didn't seem to know what Amegakure's insignia looked like, or that the line across my forehead protector meant that I was an ex-nin.

"Wow!" the blue-haired girl next to Megumi said. "I would've loved to be a ninja! You're sooo lucky!" I decided not to say anything to that. I smirked. "Follow us!" the last girl, a redhead said. I let them lead me to the very outskirts of town. "Here we are!" the blue-haired girl named Kira said.

I looked up at the tall building. A sign said Yado: Ichiban no Ichiban. The best of the best? Puh-lease! "Arigatou," I said to Megumi, Kira and Akemi. "Pleased to help!" Megumi said. "Konbanwa!" they called as they left. I rolled my eyes at them and retreated into the forest in front of the "hotel". "Konbanwa? It's still noon!" I complained to Hidari. She snickered. I let my backpack drop to the floor and put my forehead protector in it. I took out a pink flowered kimono that the General I worked for gave me. Not my style, but it'd have to do. I quickly brushed my long golden hair and smoothed the dress.

Those girls were really idiots. That hotel was ninjas only. I needed an ID to get in, which I had, but if they found out I was Deidara, I was doomed.

Okay, you're confused. Lemme back it up a little. My name is Deidara, genius female artist-ninja from Iwagakure, who trained directly under the Third Tsuchikage Onoki of Both Scales. I possess the Explosion Release Kekkei Genkai, and I was quite popular. However, I desired more. So I stole one of my village's kinjutsu which allows me to knead my chakra into substances. That's how I got three extra mouths.

Well, long story short, my ex-village tried to capture me, but I got away, giving them a spectacular presentation of my art, un. Heh, there's no way those idiots could've caught me anyway. So now, I go from place to place, blowing up stuff for whoever coughs up the money. But the last person I worked for only gave me this scratchy kimono. At that time, I only wanted to put my art to work, so I didn't really care. I probably should've thought about the fact that I blew all my money on clay. Seriously regretting it, but hey, all's well that ends well...eventually, un.

Since I had not an ID card that wouldn't get me killed, nor enough money to bribe, I had two options: seduce or destroy.

Yay! I'm done! It's short, I know. Just take it as a prologue or something. Oh yeah, I probably should've mentioned that it's Dei's point of view. I'll update as soon as possible (like, this weekend). And please review. I'm desperate to know what you think! I'm also up for a little constructive criticism. Jaane (later) for now!