Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X belongs to Square-Enix.
Argh. I never believed I would write a story for FFX. Wait, actually I did- but it had a different plot. And it was going nowhere fast. So, combining my..sadistic pleasures of the perverted-bastard-Seymour character some authors write about, I created this. But Seymour's probably not as evil and perverted and bastard-like as I portray him to be...I just have this thing for writing that type of thing :o.
Tidus POV XD. Psycological torture XD!!
Implied rape, yaoi - SeymourxTidus, AuronxTidus
Dead Waters
by Sakura Blackwolf(Doc)
I feel like a caged up bird. They can't keep me here! They can't! Auron is telling me to calm down, but he knows. I've always been the kind of person to like open places. And here, it felt so limited. What kind of prison system did Bevelle have anyway? They could've just had thrown us into a larger cell. But no, Seymour enjoys locking people up like they were his little pet birds. The sound of water rushing through Bevelle's buildings. I need to get out of here.
I let my gloved hands slip along the metal bars. I knew Auron was observing me as I slumped to the metal floor, pressing my forehead to the cold steel. He said nothing, as usual. Just watched from behind his small sunglasses. I didn't feel like moving my mouth either. Something we shared in common, for once. I wanted to scoff at that thought, but I couldn't muster the will to even snort.
The Maesters still could not make up their minds on what to do with us. We'd been waiting for hours. I knew I was hanging above a high bridge with Auron and all, but what about the others? I especially hoped Yuna was okay. After being accused of being a traitor. I wonder if she's taking it badly, or just hiding so we wouldn't worry. I think, she likes to do that. I think she's been doing it this whole time. When I found out her fate, back at Home..I wanted to scream. Not like in Kilika, more like a roar. Destroy random things, a crate, a fiend, whatever. I'd decimate it. How could people believe in something like that? That was what I was wondering at that time. How could they be happy about throwing away one's life for peace, especially someone like Yuna? It was wrong, at least in my eyes. But people think I'm crazy anyway. The toxin, they would say, is messing up your head. Screw the toxin. Screw Yevon.
It was selfish of them. But what am I saying? I'm selfish too.
I sighed and fell back a bit, catching bits of Auron's red kimono. It helped reassure a bit, to see that Auron was still with me. Whether it was the tip of his finger, or the tiny beads of that jug he carried around with him, it let me know I wasn't alone. Maybe my old man was right. I'm just a stupid crybaby who needs his hand held at all times. But, I suppose that losing parents can do that to you. I was always told that boys grown up under a good father figure's influence become less dependant on their family. Maybe, if things were different...
Well, if things were different I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met Yuna, or Wakka, or anybody else. I wouldn't have met Auron. And I must admit, I was pretty glad I did.
When did it happen? I forget when I first became drawn to him. It just..occurred. I didn't want it to happen though. I mean, Auron just seemed so...I don't know. Auron-ish? He would never want to know of this. I don't even know why he bothered to watch over me. I bet he was forced to, and he's getting paid under my nose. That sneak.
It doesn't seem like him though. But even so, he can't know. He just can't. He would be horrified, no, petified in that Auron-sort of way only he can pull off. He would hate me. That would be even worse than dying a thousand times. I just...no.
Movement under the cage brought me back to my senses. I sensed a shift in Auron's position as he gazed down to the guard that appeared. I peered down too, gripping the edges of the cage, even though I knew I wouldn't fall off.
"Son of Jecht, Maester Seymour wishes to speak with you." I felt my eyes narrow.
"Why?"
"That is between you and Maester Seymour alone." I looked back to Auron. A reflex I had developed in my earlier days of childhood. I would sometimes look back to Auron for approval, whether it was to get an ice cream cone or go off to practice. I don't do it as often these days, as he knows that I am old enough to take care of myself. At least, in my Zanarkand. Not in Spira. I don't know why I used to want his approval. He was a parental figure, in a way. But also not. Or maybe, I just wanted his respect. Maybe it started then, those feelings. Is it possible? It must've been a silly boyish crush back then.
Auron nodded his head, silent but firm. As if saying, "Go on." I turned back to the guard, who was expecting an answer.
"I accept."
I must've been crazy.
------------
"Ah, Son of Jecht, you've arrived. Please, be seated." I looked around what seemed to be Seymour's office in Bevelle. It wasn't nearly as fancy as the mansion in Guadosalam. I turned my eyes back to the maester, a chill crawling down my skin when I noticed how ice frozen his irises were. And they kept staring at me, expecting. I frowned.
"I'll stand." He chuckled.
"Very well then, Tidus." I must've flinched visibly. That was the first time he'd used my first name. I didn't even know he knew my first name. But it sounded so different when he said it. Like my hand was caught in the cookie jar for once. It just didn't piece together correctly with my mind.
"Perhaps you should seat yourself. You're looking a tad pale."
"Well, you're the one who had me and Auron dangling in the air in a cage." That was actually a thought, but I slipped up and said it aloud. I shouldn't have said anything at all. I saw his eyes narrow a slight bit, before he stood up.
"Really, I insist. I fancy looking out for my prisoner's well-being before punishment." He smiled, and I must've shivered, especially when he placed his dead hands upon my shoulder. It was like ice burning into my skin when he gently forced me into the leather clad seat. But he lingered there a little longer, searching into my eyes for something I couldn't understand. I'm sure confusion was written all over my face as his face dipped closer. His forehead touched mine, and his smile widened at the growing fear that made my lips tigthen and eyes scrunch a little. But then he pulled away, and it was like heaven.
"What do you want?" I had managed. practically squirming like a worm in the office's chair. My whole back was pressed against leather.
"I want to make a deal with you."
"Heh, with me? You probably should've gotten someone more reasonable like Auron," I joked out, strain tipping the ends. He remained silent, but he kept that smile.
"Oh, but it's a very special deal. Only for you." Only for me?
"You seem to care about that man, Auron, quite a bit. How would you feel if I ordered my guards to let the chain holding his cage collapse? He would surely fall into the waters below and without the key, he would drown." I started at that, mouth open wide to protest but he just silenced me with a tap on the nose.
"Ah, ah, ah. I'm not finished yet. I could do the same to the rest of your party, to Yuna. They would all die a watery death, except you of course. Which is why I brought you here." I stared at him expectantly. What was I supposed to say?
"I want you, Tidus. I want to be inside of you." He grabbed my shoulders and brought me close to his ice cold chest. "You don't know how long I have waited to have you like this. Helpless, in need of escape. If I could, I would've married you, but how would Spira think of me then? No, Yuna was just for show. It's you I desire."
If it wasn't the chill of Seymour's dead body, then I must've been shaking out of fear. Fear, shock, and confusion. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. It's sick, it's disgusting. I don't want Seymour, of all people, to say this to me. I can't. It's wrong. Right? I can't..do it, with Seymour! But then again...
No! No, no, no, no, NO!
"You..you bastard." I whispered. But I knew he heard it.
"So, you'd rather have your friends killed?" I looked up at him.
"How do I know you won't just kill them, even if I agreed?"
He laughed. "A point there, my lovely bird. But are you willing to take a chance that I won't? Let me be embraced by those golden wings of yours." He pressed his face to my cheek, and I winced pathetically.
What if he's right? What if he won't? There's no harm in trying. No harm, except to me. And I know I would rather take this pain, instead of anyone else. I'm such an..idiot. But I couldn't imagine being the cause of anyone's, Yuna's..Auron's deaths. I must be insane. Thinking this way, I have to question myself on why? I could be as selfish as the people of Spira. Just sacrificing, and sacrificing summoners and their guardians. Only so they would live on.
I never decided to be like them. I sighed.
"All right...I accept." It felt like I just accepted a ticket to hell. Seymour smiled down on me and cupped my cheek, pressing cold lips to mine. I closed my eyes. There was no other way. He forced his tongue into my mouth. I thought I would weep right then. When he pushed me back against the carpet floor. When he robbed me of my clothes. His touch against my skin, it was so frightening. I never wanted to feel that touch again.
And he just smiled at me, whispering words of love and lust. Or maybe a combination of the two. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to know. I just want this to end, because it hurts. It hurts me, it's killing off my soul. It's stabbing and petrifying my heart. I just want to die. I just want to die. Why doesn't he kill me? Just kill me.
I wanted to greet oblivion. I wanted so such to just blank out. I didn't want to see this, those eyes that grinned as well. I wanted to run to somebody, I wanted to scream. I wanted, no, I needed... Please, please, please, please.
I didn't want this, but what else is there? He kissed my lips again, and I wanted to vomit. I think I was whimpering because he lightly caressed my hair in a caring fashion. But, if he cared, he wouldn't have to force my decision to do this.
Auron, where are you? I want to see you. I need you here, because I'm still scared. Scared like before. I'm so pathetic. Auron..Auron! I wished this was you. Then maybe I wouldn't be so frightened. I wished it was you, I really do. It would be bliss.
But then.
No, I don't want you to see me. Don't look at me, I'm disgusting. I'm a whore, for just giving in so easily. Auron, don't look at such a wretched boy like me. I know that you'll hate me for it. You get angry and probably slap me. But I deserve it. I really deserve it. Auron, I wished this was you.
I could only be left wondering if there was another way I could've handled this. But no, I couldn't think at all. I wanted, I needed...
I'm so selfish. I should stop denying it.
Don't look at me. I'm nothing special. Just a slut on the streets waiting for service. I don't know. What is there to know? I wished this would stop already. But it won't. It hurt to feel ice all against my skin.
I must've sobbed when Seymour pushed inside of me.
"You're so beautiful, Tidus. But I am surprised. Are you still a virgin? Were saving yourself for that man? Touching, but he's too late. You're mine now." He kissed me again. I was weeping. But he just kissed those tears away too.
I must be joking to think that anyone would want to look at me again after this. All those eyes, baring cold, bitter anger. Hatred. I wouldn't be able to handle. I'm fairly sure I would crack. If I didn't right now.
"So beautiful." There's nothing beautiful about me. Seymour pulled my arms up and wrapped them around himself.
"Let me be embraced by your golden wings." Stop it.
There was so much pain in me. But I didn't care one bit. I deserved it. That all I could think about. And...Auron would know. He would know. He would take one look at me, and know. But that's just like him. I suddenly wished it wasn't.
Auron would know. He would know, and he would hate me. Like everyone else.
The truth is, yes, I was saving myself for him. For the slightest hope he would want me too. And if he didn't, then there was no one else. But now, I've broken my vow. I had hoped Auron would be the first to kiss me, to take me. But he wasn't.
A burst of fluid ran inside of me, and I was a broken man. No, not a man. A sobbing boy.
------------
I was dressed back into my clothes and thrown into my cage. I collapsed immediately, heat still flushing my cheeks, my breath still gone from my lungs. Tears still marking my skin. I did all I could do to avoid an amber gaze. I shut my eyes desperately when the cage shifted. Boots clicking against steel. I concentrated on the cool mist of Bevelle to distract me. But he sat down beside me and lifted my body to rest against the bars. I still had my eyelids sealed.
Don't look. Don't look.
"Look at me." No.
"Tidus." A line of firmness added. I found myself obeying automatically. As I cursed myself for my stupidity, he just observed. Just like him.
-But you know what? There's a time when you have to stop crying and move on.-
Who would've thought I'd take advice from my old man? Silly, but it worked. So, I shifted to straighten myself and looked back at the red-clad warrior in front of me. Mustering up all my strength, I took a deep breath and gave him the best smile I could give. A strained, weak, and unconvincing smile. He just nodded.
But he knew.
And I wanted to cry.
The End
Ummm..odd story ^^;;. OOC Tidus, indeedily! But it's the first FFX story I've ever written ^^;;. Tells you a lot. I don't do first-person POVs a lot, so yeah. This sucks. And the Jecht quote is from the first Jecht sphere you see.
Argh. I never believed I would write a story for FFX. Wait, actually I did- but it had a different plot. And it was going nowhere fast. So, combining my..sadistic pleasures of the perverted-bastard-Seymour character some authors write about, I created this. But Seymour's probably not as evil and perverted and bastard-like as I portray him to be...I just have this thing for writing that type of thing :o.
Tidus POV XD. Psycological torture XD!!
Implied rape, yaoi - SeymourxTidus, AuronxTidus
Dead Waters
by Sakura Blackwolf(Doc)
I feel like a caged up bird. They can't keep me here! They can't! Auron is telling me to calm down, but he knows. I've always been the kind of person to like open places. And here, it felt so limited. What kind of prison system did Bevelle have anyway? They could've just had thrown us into a larger cell. But no, Seymour enjoys locking people up like they were his little pet birds. The sound of water rushing through Bevelle's buildings. I need to get out of here.
I let my gloved hands slip along the metal bars. I knew Auron was observing me as I slumped to the metal floor, pressing my forehead to the cold steel. He said nothing, as usual. Just watched from behind his small sunglasses. I didn't feel like moving my mouth either. Something we shared in common, for once. I wanted to scoff at that thought, but I couldn't muster the will to even snort.
The Maesters still could not make up their minds on what to do with us. We'd been waiting for hours. I knew I was hanging above a high bridge with Auron and all, but what about the others? I especially hoped Yuna was okay. After being accused of being a traitor. I wonder if she's taking it badly, or just hiding so we wouldn't worry. I think, she likes to do that. I think she's been doing it this whole time. When I found out her fate, back at Home..I wanted to scream. Not like in Kilika, more like a roar. Destroy random things, a crate, a fiend, whatever. I'd decimate it. How could people believe in something like that? That was what I was wondering at that time. How could they be happy about throwing away one's life for peace, especially someone like Yuna? It was wrong, at least in my eyes. But people think I'm crazy anyway. The toxin, they would say, is messing up your head. Screw the toxin. Screw Yevon.
It was selfish of them. But what am I saying? I'm selfish too.
I sighed and fell back a bit, catching bits of Auron's red kimono. It helped reassure a bit, to see that Auron was still with me. Whether it was the tip of his finger, or the tiny beads of that jug he carried around with him, it let me know I wasn't alone. Maybe my old man was right. I'm just a stupid crybaby who needs his hand held at all times. But, I suppose that losing parents can do that to you. I was always told that boys grown up under a good father figure's influence become less dependant on their family. Maybe, if things were different...
Well, if things were different I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met Yuna, or Wakka, or anybody else. I wouldn't have met Auron. And I must admit, I was pretty glad I did.
When did it happen? I forget when I first became drawn to him. It just..occurred. I didn't want it to happen though. I mean, Auron just seemed so...I don't know. Auron-ish? He would never want to know of this. I don't even know why he bothered to watch over me. I bet he was forced to, and he's getting paid under my nose. That sneak.
It doesn't seem like him though. But even so, he can't know. He just can't. He would be horrified, no, petified in that Auron-sort of way only he can pull off. He would hate me. That would be even worse than dying a thousand times. I just...no.
Movement under the cage brought me back to my senses. I sensed a shift in Auron's position as he gazed down to the guard that appeared. I peered down too, gripping the edges of the cage, even though I knew I wouldn't fall off.
"Son of Jecht, Maester Seymour wishes to speak with you." I felt my eyes narrow.
"Why?"
"That is between you and Maester Seymour alone." I looked back to Auron. A reflex I had developed in my earlier days of childhood. I would sometimes look back to Auron for approval, whether it was to get an ice cream cone or go off to practice. I don't do it as often these days, as he knows that I am old enough to take care of myself. At least, in my Zanarkand. Not in Spira. I don't know why I used to want his approval. He was a parental figure, in a way. But also not. Or maybe, I just wanted his respect. Maybe it started then, those feelings. Is it possible? It must've been a silly boyish crush back then.
Auron nodded his head, silent but firm. As if saying, "Go on." I turned back to the guard, who was expecting an answer.
"I accept."
I must've been crazy.
------------
"Ah, Son of Jecht, you've arrived. Please, be seated." I looked around what seemed to be Seymour's office in Bevelle. It wasn't nearly as fancy as the mansion in Guadosalam. I turned my eyes back to the maester, a chill crawling down my skin when I noticed how ice frozen his irises were. And they kept staring at me, expecting. I frowned.
"I'll stand." He chuckled.
"Very well then, Tidus." I must've flinched visibly. That was the first time he'd used my first name. I didn't even know he knew my first name. But it sounded so different when he said it. Like my hand was caught in the cookie jar for once. It just didn't piece together correctly with my mind.
"Perhaps you should seat yourself. You're looking a tad pale."
"Well, you're the one who had me and Auron dangling in the air in a cage." That was actually a thought, but I slipped up and said it aloud. I shouldn't have said anything at all. I saw his eyes narrow a slight bit, before he stood up.
"Really, I insist. I fancy looking out for my prisoner's well-being before punishment." He smiled, and I must've shivered, especially when he placed his dead hands upon my shoulder. It was like ice burning into my skin when he gently forced me into the leather clad seat. But he lingered there a little longer, searching into my eyes for something I couldn't understand. I'm sure confusion was written all over my face as his face dipped closer. His forehead touched mine, and his smile widened at the growing fear that made my lips tigthen and eyes scrunch a little. But then he pulled away, and it was like heaven.
"What do you want?" I had managed. practically squirming like a worm in the office's chair. My whole back was pressed against leather.
"I want to make a deal with you."
"Heh, with me? You probably should've gotten someone more reasonable like Auron," I joked out, strain tipping the ends. He remained silent, but he kept that smile.
"Oh, but it's a very special deal. Only for you." Only for me?
"You seem to care about that man, Auron, quite a bit. How would you feel if I ordered my guards to let the chain holding his cage collapse? He would surely fall into the waters below and without the key, he would drown." I started at that, mouth open wide to protest but he just silenced me with a tap on the nose.
"Ah, ah, ah. I'm not finished yet. I could do the same to the rest of your party, to Yuna. They would all die a watery death, except you of course. Which is why I brought you here." I stared at him expectantly. What was I supposed to say?
"I want you, Tidus. I want to be inside of you." He grabbed my shoulders and brought me close to his ice cold chest. "You don't know how long I have waited to have you like this. Helpless, in need of escape. If I could, I would've married you, but how would Spira think of me then? No, Yuna was just for show. It's you I desire."
If it wasn't the chill of Seymour's dead body, then I must've been shaking out of fear. Fear, shock, and confusion. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. It's sick, it's disgusting. I don't want Seymour, of all people, to say this to me. I can't. It's wrong. Right? I can't..do it, with Seymour! But then again...
No! No, no, no, no, NO!
"You..you bastard." I whispered. But I knew he heard it.
"So, you'd rather have your friends killed?" I looked up at him.
"How do I know you won't just kill them, even if I agreed?"
He laughed. "A point there, my lovely bird. But are you willing to take a chance that I won't? Let me be embraced by those golden wings of yours." He pressed his face to my cheek, and I winced pathetically.
What if he's right? What if he won't? There's no harm in trying. No harm, except to me. And I know I would rather take this pain, instead of anyone else. I'm such an..idiot. But I couldn't imagine being the cause of anyone's, Yuna's..Auron's deaths. I must be insane. Thinking this way, I have to question myself on why? I could be as selfish as the people of Spira. Just sacrificing, and sacrificing summoners and their guardians. Only so they would live on.
I never decided to be like them. I sighed.
"All right...I accept." It felt like I just accepted a ticket to hell. Seymour smiled down on me and cupped my cheek, pressing cold lips to mine. I closed my eyes. There was no other way. He forced his tongue into my mouth. I thought I would weep right then. When he pushed me back against the carpet floor. When he robbed me of my clothes. His touch against my skin, it was so frightening. I never wanted to feel that touch again.
And he just smiled at me, whispering words of love and lust. Or maybe a combination of the two. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to know. I just want this to end, because it hurts. It hurts me, it's killing off my soul. It's stabbing and petrifying my heart. I just want to die. I just want to die. Why doesn't he kill me? Just kill me.
I wanted to greet oblivion. I wanted so such to just blank out. I didn't want to see this, those eyes that grinned as well. I wanted to run to somebody, I wanted to scream. I wanted, no, I needed... Please, please, please, please.
I didn't want this, but what else is there? He kissed my lips again, and I wanted to vomit. I think I was whimpering because he lightly caressed my hair in a caring fashion. But, if he cared, he wouldn't have to force my decision to do this.
Auron, where are you? I want to see you. I need you here, because I'm still scared. Scared like before. I'm so pathetic. Auron..Auron! I wished this was you. Then maybe I wouldn't be so frightened. I wished it was you, I really do. It would be bliss.
But then.
No, I don't want you to see me. Don't look at me, I'm disgusting. I'm a whore, for just giving in so easily. Auron, don't look at such a wretched boy like me. I know that you'll hate me for it. You get angry and probably slap me. But I deserve it. I really deserve it. Auron, I wished this was you.
I could only be left wondering if there was another way I could've handled this. But no, I couldn't think at all. I wanted, I needed...
I'm so selfish. I should stop denying it.
Don't look at me. I'm nothing special. Just a slut on the streets waiting for service. I don't know. What is there to know? I wished this would stop already. But it won't. It hurt to feel ice all against my skin.
I must've sobbed when Seymour pushed inside of me.
"You're so beautiful, Tidus. But I am surprised. Are you still a virgin? Were saving yourself for that man? Touching, but he's too late. You're mine now." He kissed me again. I was weeping. But he just kissed those tears away too.
I must be joking to think that anyone would want to look at me again after this. All those eyes, baring cold, bitter anger. Hatred. I wouldn't be able to handle. I'm fairly sure I would crack. If I didn't right now.
"So beautiful." There's nothing beautiful about me. Seymour pulled my arms up and wrapped them around himself.
"Let me be embraced by your golden wings." Stop it.
There was so much pain in me. But I didn't care one bit. I deserved it. That all I could think about. And...Auron would know. He would know. He would take one look at me, and know. But that's just like him. I suddenly wished it wasn't.
Auron would know. He would know, and he would hate me. Like everyone else.
The truth is, yes, I was saving myself for him. For the slightest hope he would want me too. And if he didn't, then there was no one else. But now, I've broken my vow. I had hoped Auron would be the first to kiss me, to take me. But he wasn't.
A burst of fluid ran inside of me, and I was a broken man. No, not a man. A sobbing boy.
------------
I was dressed back into my clothes and thrown into my cage. I collapsed immediately, heat still flushing my cheeks, my breath still gone from my lungs. Tears still marking my skin. I did all I could do to avoid an amber gaze. I shut my eyes desperately when the cage shifted. Boots clicking against steel. I concentrated on the cool mist of Bevelle to distract me. But he sat down beside me and lifted my body to rest against the bars. I still had my eyelids sealed.
Don't look. Don't look.
"Look at me." No.
"Tidus." A line of firmness added. I found myself obeying automatically. As I cursed myself for my stupidity, he just observed. Just like him.
-But you know what? There's a time when you have to stop crying and move on.-
Who would've thought I'd take advice from my old man? Silly, but it worked. So, I shifted to straighten myself and looked back at the red-clad warrior in front of me. Mustering up all my strength, I took a deep breath and gave him the best smile I could give. A strained, weak, and unconvincing smile. He just nodded.
But he knew.
And I wanted to cry.
The End
Ummm..odd story ^^;;. OOC Tidus, indeedily! But it's the first FFX story I've ever written ^^;;. Tells you a lot. I don't do first-person POVs a lot, so yeah. This sucks. And the Jecht quote is from the first Jecht sphere you see.