Why am I still with Ben? Do I actually love him? He is so clingy, and I hate clingy people!
These were some of the many questions that ran through my mind on a regular basis, and this was the third night i have stayed up to the wee hours of the morning thinking about the answers to these questions. I knew that i really loved Ricky but I always wondered why I was still with Ben. And to top it off, my mother kept nagging me about what i was going to do with my baby. Suddenly I was interupted by a faint knocking at my door, I stood up to see who was on the other side. I slowly opened the door being careful not to wake up my mother, the person on the other side was Ashley.
"What do you want?" I said.
"Do you want to talk or something?"
"I'd love to" I replied
We both sat down on my bed and I began unloading all of the problems I have been facing, but I was stopped halfway through due to the fact that i started to cry. I placed my hand on my swolen stomach and was rewarded with a small nudge from my unborn child, Ricky's unborn child; this of course made the tears even heavier. Suddenly I was trapped in a toght embrace from Ashley, who was also crying. I knew I shouldn't be worrying her with my problems but I just couldn't help it, I knew i couldn't hold it in any longer. After a long bear hug Ashley decided to break the silence.
"I know that you are going through alot but I just want you to know that i am always here for you to talk to"
I nodded but my tears just wouldn't stop
"Stop your crying and get to sleep, we will talk about this tomorrow" Ashley said
She left and as soon as my head hit my pillow and I was in a deep sleep.
*******
The next morning i was awoken by the ringing of my phone, the caller ID said Ben; I answered my phone
"Hello" I said
"HI Amy I love you" replied Ben
"Listen Ben I don't want to talk to you right now"
"Why Amy?"
"I just don't feel like it, bye Ben"
"Ok.... fine, bye Amy I love you"
I hung up my cell phone without saying that i loved him, I was hoping he would get the hint that I really didnt love him. But I knew that he wouldn't actually get it because he never did, and I really didn't like hurting others feelings even though it was for my own good.
To take my mind off all of these problems, I decided to get dressed. After I finished getting dressed I headed downstairs to get some breakfast, when i entered the main floor of my house I found my mom sitting at the kitchen table.
"What's for breakfast?" I asked
"Whatever you can make for yourself" she replied
Just when things were beginning to turn sour, the door bell rang. I hesitated and then slowly walked to see who was at the door. I looked through the small window by the door and I was surprised to see Ricky standing on the other side. I opened the door and he said "Amy I love you"