Summary: This is a longish drabble, chronicling Cloud's sojourn from the Midgar wastelands after losing Zack, and an imagining of how he met up with Barret. Inspired heavily by the newest FFVII remake trailer, in which we see a rather skinny and sickly looking Cloud, trying to find his place in Midgar and with AVALANCHE. [Also inspired by "Outside" by Staind.]

Disclaimer: Don't own them, wish I did - Final Fantasy is owned by Square Enix. Any lyrics quoted within are credited and attributed to the original artist.

But I'm on the outside,
And I'm looking in….

Outside - Staind

Cloud….you remember what I told you….right?

"Yeah. I….I remember." I think? Who – who is that? Cloud shook his head, trying to get his bangs out of his eyes as he slowly and painfully dragged the massive sword alongside of him, across the wasteland. He glanced backward through the still-unsettled dust; if he squinted, he could make out a dark shape just beneath a crop of large rocks and boulders. Something caught in his chest, a squeezing –

-like a heart attack am I having a heart attack? -

- and he staggered, stumbled - nearly fell over, sword and all. Grunting, he used the sword as a staff, pulling himself back up, trying to ignore the squeezing pain in his chest, and his racing pulse by sheer will. So many memories flooded his consciousness – too many, coming too fast – all disjointed, all of them too fantastic to believe.

We were in the tubes. We were in the tubes, and then –

-broken glass everywhere, I couldn't move, he was shouting at me, asking if I was okay – dragging me out of that horrible place –

He. Him….the friendly man with the dark hair and the pleasant face, the kind voice. I know I knew him, but – how? What was his name? He's the one who saved me, I think. Where were we? It was like….hell. I don't remember anything except….pain. Feeling sick all the time.

Why can't I remember his name? The frustration mounted, the sickening realization suddenly came over Cloud that his mind was not what it once was – that it was not whole – bubbled and boiled, and he halted, threw his head back and yelled. Screamed to the sky, out there in the wastelands, where nobody was around to hear him, his voice echoed off of the small canyons and ravines.

Nobody. Silence. Alone. Finally, Cloud heard the unmistakable caw of a vulture, then another – they were gathering in a group now, circling an area hundreds of yards behind him. He looked up, and could see the hulking mass of concrete and steel that he knew was the city of Midgar. His destination, wasn't it?

We'll go to Midgar, Cloud. We can find work as mercenaries, once you get your strength back. Don't worry. I'll take care of you.

"Who are you!" Cloud shouted at the relentless voice in his head. He was on the verge of crying; he was strung-out, exhausted, and starving. His last meal had been several days ago; they'd caught a couple of jumpers and roasted them over a makeshift spit. That was before Shinra's troops had descended upon them.

You'll live, Cloud….you'll live for both of us. You'll be….my living legacy.

"Both of us…." He gripped the sword, arms painfully thin compared to what they'd been four years before, when Cloud had been whole in both body and mind. "I'm…my name is Cloud Strife - "

- Cloud Strife….of Nibelheim –

You've got what it takes, Cloud. You've got a good heart, and that's what being SOLDIER is all about – it comes from the heart. Honor, perseverance – I've seen all those things in you. You'll make it someday, don't give up.

Midgar was growing closer now, still another half a day's walk, but Cloud dug in his heels and trudged on, finally settling on a way to balance the massive broadsword on his back. He could almost stand upright now with it as he walked along the dusty landscape; it was not without great difficulty, and he would have to stop soon to find food and drink; he was emaciated and dehydrated.

I don't even have any money…I'll have to find a way to make some gil so I can eat.

You can do it, Cloud. You can survive. You've gotten this far, right?

"I – I don't know - "

He came to a small encampment, just beyond the city gate; out of the scope of the Roboguards, well hidden, though the scent of food drew Cloud in automatically. There was one man there, a giant hulk of a man, cooking something over a small campfire. As Cloud drew closer, the man sensed his approach, and quickly got to his feet, leveling a massive gun-arm in Cloud's face.

"You got five seconds to tell me who the hell you are before I blow your damn head off!" The man scowled at him in the semi-darkness; his skin prickled when he saw green-glowing eyes staring back at him. Shit. Mako eyes! This guy must be with Shinra?

"Who the hell are you! Are you with SOLDIER? I ain't got time for this shit, man!"

"Just shut up and let me talk," Cloud snapped, though he raised his hands to show he wasn't about to attack – yet. Not unless this guy gave him reason to.

"My name is Cloud. I was in SOLDIER….but I'm not anymore, " he began. "I'm looking for work. I need to eat."

"Ha, so….you defected from Shinra, huh?" The man relaxed his gun-arm, pointing it down toward the ground. "Guess you can't be too stupid, if you left the Shinra. Siddown," he added ,pointing toward a small boulder near the fire.

"Name's Barret," the large man informed him. "I might be able to use your help….maybe we can work something out. You can fight, yeah?"

"Of course I can," Cloud replied, though in his current weakened state, he wasn't sure how well he'd actually do. Gaia, he would give anything for a hot meal, and a place to sleep.

"Hah," Barret grunted. He passed a canteen of water over to Cloud. "Well, you look like hell, man. When's the last time you ate?" Barret shook his head; this was one of the skinniest damned SOLDIERs he'd ever seen. Then again, if the man had defected from Shinra, he might have been on his own for a while. Barret was skeptical, but AVALANCHE was desperate for help. He was willing to feed the kid and try him out, see what he was capable of.

Cloud gulped the water greedily; he was starting to feel a little bit better already. Those voices I heard…I must have been hallucinating from lack of water, he decided. His head felt clearer than it had in days, and he handed the canteen back to Barret with a polite 'thank you.'

"I ate most of it," Barret grinned, gesturing toward the remains of a jumper, sizzling over the open flame of the campfire. He passed a tin plate over to Cloud. "But you look hungry, man….so help yourself." Cloud didn't have to be told twice; he took the plate and heaped as much roasted meat on it as he could, eating with his fingers, answering Barret's questions in between bites of food.

"So….you got no more loyalties to Shinra, I take it?" Barret asked, suspicious. This could blow up in his face if it turned out this Cloud was lying.

Cloud shook his head. "No. I mean….Shinra…..they took a lot from me. Everything, really." His face darkened as he thought of Nibelheim and the fire and Sephiroth. That much, he could remember. Maybe he couldn't remember how he came to be here, wandering the outskirts of Midgar, but he remembered the wholesale destruction of his hometown.

"Where ya from, anyway, Cloud?" Barret asked Cloud, curiously.

"Nibelheim."

Barret raised an eyebrow at that. "Really now? Funny….I got a friend who's from Nibelheim too. Wonder if you know her. Come on…when you're finished eating, I'll take ya to meet her. But I got one job I gotta do first. You think you're up for it?"

Cloud nodded, slowly. "Yeah. I feel a lot better now that I've eaten. Thanks."

Barret waved his hand, embarrassed. "Naw, don't mention it. Now, the job we're gonna do – "

"How much will you pay me?" Cloud interrupted. Barret scowled at him.

"You'll get your money after we do the job. I'll give you a thousand gil."

"Two thousand," Cloud countered. Don't be afraid to drive a hard bargain, Cloud suddenly remembered the words his mother had always drilled into him.

Barret frowned. "We'll see. I wanna see you in action first, ex-SOLDIER. I'll give you two thousand if I'm satisfied with the job you do." The first job Cloud would work with Barret and his team would be a test; though AVALANCHE was hard-up for help, Barret would be keeping a watchful eye on this newcomer. One false move, and that would be the end of it.

It wasn't as if Cloud had very many options at this point, and he shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever. I'm done. Let's go." He stood, brushed himself off, helped Barret douse the remains of the campfire, and off they walked, back toward Midgar, in the twilight.