"Kiss me." you say, with eyes as bright as the sky's many constellations, and I can see the want and the need behind the stars. You run a hand through my hair, because you know I'll melt between your fingers if you do that. "Please, tell me you love me." you say, with your heart beating like the wheels of a train upon a track. It's so loud, Natsuki, please settle down. Please, for me. You're acting so rowdy tonight. "Give me your tongue," you say, but I'm tired, and my breath will smell if I open my mouth. It's late, Natsuki, please go to bed. You're so frail, have you been eating while I was away? I'll make you some curry tomorrow for dinner if you behave tonight. You tilt your head, looking at the dull, white ceiling. The bed is so soft, please just lie back down. We both danced in nothing but our underwear when I made it back, feet drumming on the ground to the beat of some song that sounded like the clinking of a woman's many bracelets. It also sounded like velcro scratch and felt cold. You listen to some odd music, Natsuki. You look down at me again and grin. "Bollywood music." you say, giggling like those times when we started dating and I tried to make you laugh by telling horrible jokes in hopes of you forming a pleasant opinion of me. My nose wrinkles up, like a cat trying to bite a flea in its mess of fur. My old man listens to that type of stuff, but not me. You lie back down. Finally. "You are an old man." you say, fingers knotting into mine. You close your eyes. I love you a lot, Natsuki, I love you. You smile, and I can feel you drifting off. "Me too, babe." you say, and you sound like the 19-year-old that you are. Goodnight, prince. Goodnight.
it seems like im only able to write like this when it's 4 am and im at my lowest. my spineless, sniveling, cowardly lowest.
happy birthday, Natsuki.