~The Chapter in between~
Congratulations, Questor. You have unlocked the secret 'hidden' chapter. You have come so far and there's only a short way to go now. This little chapter slipped in between the pages, hidden and forgotten. It's got an answer to a question I'm sure some of you were wondering about. A certain promise.
And she's Dru from now on.
"Dru," Fili whispered and shook his head, "Dru, not now."
Her eyes narrowed slightly and her gaze hardened. She didn't back off.
"Yes, now."
His hands came to her shoulders and he tried to move her away, avoiding her eyes as he shook his head.
"Please-"
"This may be our only chance, Fi!" She didn't want to make it sound like she was begging, but he was doing a fine job in pushing her and the subject away.
"I'm leaving. I'll meet you outside."
He eventually managed to prise her arms off of him and gently push her away. She took a step back with hurt and angry expression.
He turned from her and shut his eyes. Then immediately opened them in surprise when her arms came around his waist and she practically lifted him off the floor. His feet dangled and he grabbed hold of her arms, trying to get her off.
"Toad! GET OFF!"
She pulled him backwards and he felt his body shift as they both went crashing to the floor. She avoided getting him to land on top of her, however, by quickly diverting his body to the side. He groaned at the impact, but he was mad now. He quickly turned himself over so he could sit back and glare at her.
She was already up on her hands and knees and her eyes brimmed with fury.
"DON'T BE SO STUBBORN AND JUST BLOODY TALK, ALL RIGHT!" She snapped at him.
For a few moments, they just stared at one another. Both of them breathing heavily as they glared at one another. But it was Fili that technically broke first. They'd both had tiny twitches in their faces and a twinkle in their eyes, but Fili was the one that laughed outright. It had been just a small chuckle until his grin broke out and she smiled back at him. Soon they were both laughing at one another, Druili even clasping at her stomach when it began to ache.
"I can't believe you tackled me," he shook his head and snorted, "you haven't done that since...when did you last get rat faced with us?"
Druili bared her teeth in a very animal-like smile.
"Your birthday. Twenty years ago," she reached forward and smacked his leg, "and you bloody deserved it for shoving cake down the back of my shirt."
"Perfectly reasonable, you were misbehaving."
"Bloody waste of good cake."
He looked at her. His beautiful, stubborn, infuriating and wonderful sister. Kneeling a few feet in front of him and her eyes sparkling.
And she looked at him. Her Handsome, cantankerous, pig-headed and adoring brother. One of his legs was splayed out before him and the other propped up so he could lean his arm on it.
The never said these words out loud to themselves, one another or others. In regards to their feelings to one another, it was not spoken because they both feared the same thing: if it was spoken or said out loud, then the other would leave them. Not only a rejection of some romantic affection but as a family. They didn't want to lose one another, so neither spoke.
But they had made a promise. And Druili was determined that Fili wouldn't go back on his own word.
"I said no!" Fili stormed into his bedroom door and tried to shut it behind him, but Dru was already in the doorframe and shoved the wood as hard as she could with her shoulder.
"Don't you bloody try to shut me out," She managed to barge her way by him so he couldn't shut her out of his room, "we're not finished talking-"
"I am!" He yelled, but since he could see he wasn't getting rid of her anytime soon, he pulled her farther in and shut the door. No one else in the small cottage, but it wouldn't do for anyone to overhear such a sensitive conversation. Or argument since that is what it had turned into.
"I thought you'd be happy or grateful! I just saved your backside from a loveless match!" She folded her arms and glared up at him.
Fili took deep breaths to control his anger.
"I didn't ask you to do that, you SHOULDN'T have done that," he shut his eyes in exasperation and tightened his balled fists until it hurt, "Don't make promises like that-"
"I can and I will. I'm not...I'm not going to let you marry someone you don't love and be bloody miserable because of it!"
For too long, there was silence. He opened his eyes and looked at her. Her arms were no longer folded and her eyes no longer burned with the same anger he was so familiar with. She was looking at him as if the weight of the world were on her shoulders.
"With me you...you don't have to marry me. Heck, you don't have to love me just...Once is enough, right? All they want is for you to produce one babe-"
Fili couldn't control his groan and rubbed his face with his hands, exasperation rising again.
"DRU."
He felt her hands atop his. Holding him gently, prising them away from his face so she could look into his eyes.
"Listen...do you want to marry and have children with any of those girls that matchmaker brought for you to see?" A little flicker of uncertainty went across her features as if she was afraid he actually did. But he just shook his head and felt his anger finally leave him.
"No, but-"
"Then don't! It's your duty as the next heir to wed and bare a child but it shouldn't be at the expense of your happiness. You don't have a mountain," she lowered her face and chuckled, though no one could hear, "heck, you don't have a kingdom. It's just a name. So ...Let my duty to you be to help. Please, Fi."
He felt his resolve begin to weaken but needed answers. Why would she offer herself in such a way?
"Why? Why do you want to do this for me?"
"It wouldn't be just for you, you idiot! It'd be for all of us. There would be an heir, the pressure would be off, Mam would be over the moon to have a grandchild and you," she smiled brightly at her own idea, "you would have a child to call your own. You boys both know I won't marry. It's not...it's not for me. But if I were to marry...if I WERE to bare anyone's children...it would be yours. And I'd be...I'd be honoured to carry them. Not because of your blood, but because I've known you for almost my entire life. And there's no other family I would want to be in, other than this one. And you wouldn't have to marry for it. No one would question their position and as your sister, that's what I'd stay as," she couldn't hold the cheeky grin that spread across her face, "good thing I'm not blood, aye'?"
He closed his eyes again with a sigh, still trying to fight it.
"I don't know."
Her hands came to his face and held his cheeks, her thumbs stroking the braids on the sides of his lips. He relaxed almost instantly and chanced another look at her.
"Listen...we don't have to do this now. This can be a-," she seemed to quickly debate something, "distant thing to think about. If it comes down to it and we're REALLY desperate and like?"
She waggled her brows at him and he couldn't control the smile at her ridiculous expression.
"Even if I disagree, you'll bloody find a way around it."
"Oh...I already discussed it with Thorin."
His eyes widened at her. If it hadn't of been for the fact he clearly heard what she said, he would have thought she made any other casual statement.
"What?!"
"He was...surprisingly ok with it. He didn't yell or scowl he just...he said he'd work out a contract of some kind but I told him it was no rush."
Fili couldn't believe it. He actually couldn't believe how well she'd already planned this out before she'd even approached him with it.
"I think I have a headache."
Dru laughed and wrapped her arms tightly around him, patting his back as if he'd just fallen and hurt himself. She couldn't see the way he leaned into her and pressed his face into her hair.
Whenever she embraced him, he cherished every moment. It was the only time he felt like he was truly whole.
"I promise you...I promise you, you will have a child to call your own."
But Fili didn't seem to care about that. He just cared about holding her. He knew she couldn't see his face and he didn't care. She was in his arms and that's all that mattered.
"Fi."
He'd been staring at her. He'd been staring and gotten lost in his thoughts about her. His eyes refocused and looked back at her own.
"I know what you want," he eventually replied, "but you don't have to. We don't have to because of some promise we made-Dru?"
She had been sitting back on her knees, but then settled on her backside, her legs coming round as she began to untie and unbuckle her boots.
"Just," she didn't look up at him as she spoke but he watched as her fingers shook, "Just listen all right. Fi, we could very well die tomorrow. There's no maybe or 'try to look on the bright side' about it. It's a very realistic possibility. And it terrifies me."
She managed to squirm out of both of her boots, shoving them off and throwing them to the side.
"I'm scared none of us will get home alive. I'm scared that we'll never see Mam again," she got up on her knees and shrugged off her coat, "I'm scared that we'll never see our friends or family and that we'll all die here. But with all that fear...with it bubbling away inside of me, I remembered my promise to you. At least I'll know I tried to keep my promise to you. It's important to me."
Finally, she looked him in the eyes. He hadn't moved nor had he taken off any of his clothes or shoes. He'd just watched her with a strange look in his eye.
She sat back again on her knees, leant forward and placed her palms on the floor. She began to slowly crawl towards him.
She was shaking the entire way. They didn't say anything to one another as she broke the distance and crawled in between his legs. Her hands came down either side of his hips and her face was level with his.
Fili suddenly felt very much like he did back at the apple tree, all those years ago. Her face was so close to his, her wild hair fell against his chest.
"Dru," he managed to whisper out, just when she broke the last bit of distance and kissed him. One sweet, chaste kiss before pulling back.
"Please. Please, Fi. Just for this night...be with me."
When she kissed him again and again, he finally felt his resolve weaken. That wall he'd built up, that line he'd drawn. He forgot them all as she urged him on with her sweet little kisses.
His arm came about her and she gasped when he finally held his lips against hers and began to move.
Slowly, eagerly parting her lips he finally tasted her with his tongue.
The butterflies had returned in both their chests.
Her hands moved to his and pulled him away. He stared at her, wondering what he had done wrong but her hands kept a hold of his and she looked at him as she settled them back down. She blushed and looked down at his chest.
"Do you want me to undress you?" Her gaze flickered back to his, unsure. He'd never seen her look so vulnerable. So not 'his' Dru. He couldn't help but smile.
"You can help," his hand came up and rested on the side of her neck, "together?"
She nodded and returned his small smile.
In between returning small kisses and just reaching out to touch one another, they managed to get him out of his heavy coat and boots. When he was kissing her and reached up underneath her tunic, he paused as his fingers brushed against bare skin where he was expecting to meet leather. She broke the kiss and smiled at him.
"I took it off already. I hope-I hope you are all right with that?"
He nodded at her and pulled back just enough to place his other hand underneath. He watched her eyes flicker with doubt and uncertainty.
"Are you sure?" His thumbs brushed against her stomach and she shuddered. Nodded. Raising her arms in the air, she shut her eyes. His hands came back to grab the fabric and in one quick motion, they'd divested her of her tunic. Her naked torso was bare for him.
She slowly opened her eyes. She'd been expecting to see pity, fear or even (dare she say it) disgust. But he was just looking at her. His hands back on her stomach as he continued to stroke her nearer and nearer. She fought the urge to cover herself as she lowered her arms back down.
Her breathing quickened when his fingers came to rest on her damaged breast. It didn't hurt, but it was a strange sensation for her.
"You've never let me know about this." He finally looked back at her eyes, questioning whether she was truly all right with him touching her like this. She didn't want to stop him. He wasn't disgusted by it or her.
"What's there to know? It's hideous and I hate it," she tried to keep control of her shaky voice as the sensation of him just touching her took over.
"Does it still bother you?" His other hand began to stroke and knead her good breast with the same light ministrations.
"...Sometimes. When I fight too hard...when it's very cold...and when I take bad hit-Fi," she shut her eyes when his fingers brushed against her nipple, "Fili, if you keep doing that I don't know what I'll do."
A deep chuckle answered her. She opened her eyes in time to see his head disappear downwards and felt his warm mouth latch onto her skin. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders as she cried out and almost lost her balance.
He pressed hot, wet kisses against both her breasts, his beard brushing against her scars. And when he moved to her full one, his tongue came out as his mouth latched onto her nipple. Her head went back and she moaned his name.
She could feel the warmth spread over her body and pool below her belly.
Her hands moved of their own accord. She pushed him away from her breast and kissed him with as much force as she could muster. They didn't fight for dominance, Fili was more than happy to let her win.
They made quick work of his tunic and somehow, with some awkward shuffling and suppressed giggling, they both knelt against one another. His hands held onto her face, her neck, her shoulders and back. Grasping and smoothing out her skin.
Dru's hands came down to his trousers and carefully unlaced him with breaking the kiss. Fili did, however, break the kiss when she suddenly wrapped her hand around him and slowly began to move.
He rolled his hips towards her, gasping for air and letting his eyes shut as he just enjoyed the sensation.
"Oh, Mahal...you're amazing," his forehead came to rest against hers and his lips quivered with excitement.
"That's your cock talking. You're welcome." She laughed at him before his lips found hers again and silenced her.
Sooner than they thought possible, they were both naked. If you'd asked either one of them how they got their trousers off, they wouldn't be able to tell you. But when their naked bodies pressed against one another, they both clung fiercely against the other. Afraid of falling. Afraid of letting go.
She sat upon his thigh, a leg either side of him and her head resting against his shoulder. His arms were around her and stroked small, soothing circles against her back.
"Stay like this," Fili held her close, his nose pressed to her skin as he greedily inhaled her scent, "I don't want to hurt you. I've...I've done this before and two of them hurt and it made me feel awful. Stay like this for a bit longer."
Dru pulled back and looked at him with a small smile.
"You won't hurt me."
He just shook his head at her, frowning.
"You say that now, but then-"
"Barry Turner."
Fili squinted at her.
"...What about him?"
She bit her bottom lip and avoided eye contact as her mouth quirked up at the corners.
"You won't hurt me because...well, me and Barry...you know," she dared a look at Fili's face and couldn't stop her laugh at his aghast expression.
"Barry Turner?! That Human dullard with the big ears?!"
She slapped his bare shoulder.
"Shut it you, bully! Anyway, you can talk, look at the size of ours!" She purposefully reached up and grabbed the edge of her ears, demonstrating that he was being a hypocrite. He just furrowed his brow and stammered.
"But-when...and why?!"
Her hands rested on his shoulders as she began to recall.
"Three Summers ago. Down by the stream after that big festival, where you and Kili got very drunk...where we all got a little drunk. We went swimming and he just blurted out how I was the best fighter he'd ever seen. Even better than you or Kili."
"Ah, that's how he got ya'."
"I sort of...jumped the poor man. Didn't fight me off though." She snorted and Fili couldn't help but grimace.
"But...Barry Turner?!"
She groaned and rolled her eyes.
"Yes, I know! He's got the emotional constitution of a spoon and only ever talks about bloody horses. You forget I had A LOT of Damson gin that day. And...I was curious as to what the fuss was about."
Fili finally managed to stop scowling.
"And?"
"Well...let's just say, there's a reason Barry has an affinity for horses. He's going to make some girl a very happy wife someday." She had an almost wistful smile on her face and Fili let his head fall forward in disgust.
"Did not need to picture that."
Her hands came to his cheeks and forced him to look back at her.
"Come on, Barry Turner has nothing on you. You'll be the king under the mountain one day."
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.
"Don't remind me."
Druili was actually shocked.
"What? I thought you were happy about that?"
Fili's hands continued their work on her back, though she didn't know it was also to help him relax.
"I suppose I shouldn't be ungrateful but...all our lives...all my life, Thorin has talked with me about this. 'One day, Fili, you shall be King of Erebor and you shall lead our people to greatness.'"
His sad expression pulled at her heart and began to stroke her fingers through his hair, trying to soothe and comfort him the best was she could.
"I envy Kili. Almost every day, I think, how lucky he is that he doesn't have to deal with the knowledge that one day, he'll be King. He'll be a Prince and a lord, but unless I abdicate or die, he'll never be king. And Thorin...he's talked with me like a father should but...he's not. I can't even remember my own father. it's been so long. Thorin is the closest thing I've ever had, but...he won't allow us that. I don't know if he ever will. He'll lead us and he'll be our king, but never our father. Even though, I think he wants to."
Dru pulled his head forward and rested her forehead against his.
"The pressure of being a King. He does love you. He's loved you for all these years, I can see it. From the day he first started teaching you to sword fight, to when he took you hunting. Look at it this way, until a few months back, I wasn't even sure he liked me at all," she laughed to encourage him along and he smiled, "And Kili. Kili used to be jealous of you. I know, because he told me."
Fili didn't mask his surprise. Now was not the time to be hiding things from one another apparently.
"But he realised...he knew how you felt. He knew the pressure you were under, that's why he doesn't give you a hard time for it. Thorin expects a lot of you and...sometimes, that's wrong. But... I don't think he knows he's wrong. I think, in his mind, this is the only thing he can do for you...you know what I'm saying?"
She pulled away and Fili immediately missed the closeness. He nodded at her and brought one hand to rest against her face.
"This might not be the time to talk about all of this," his eyes suddenly twinkled with amusement, "considering what we're about to do."
'This might be our only time to talk about this.'
She nodded and brought her lips back down to his. They held onto one another as they let their passions rise and their bodies mould together.
Fili pulled her down and rested her back against their discarded clothes and coats, not breaking the kiss until he knew she was comfy. He began to move slowly down her body, crawling away from her as he planted kisses and tiny bites against her skin.
When he settled between her legs and she felt his beard brush against her thighs, she pushed herself up on her arms and looked down at him.
"Fi?"
His eyes danced hungrily and he smiled at her before he turned his head down to the mass of curls between her legs.
With both his hands wrapped around her thighs and holding her tightly so she couldn't escape, his mouth and tongue were suddenly pressed against her.
Dru did try to move away but his grip wouldn't let her.
"Fi-Fi you don't have to," she managed to whine out but stopped when his tongue suddenly parted her and found that small bud that had been throbbing all night. She fell back and cried out, her hands gripping the fabric below her as every nerve in her body came to life. She felt hot and yet she was shivering.
Fili was going to send her over the edge, just with that damned mouth of his. And she was letting him. She felt her hips buck against him and when he finally twisted his tongue, sucked in JUST the right place and his hot breath landed on her, she came undone.
She fell over the edge, crying his name. And when she was coming down from the peak, her hands finally reached down and grabbed his hair.
"Ow!" He cried out as she gave a tug and crawled frantically up to relieve his head of her pulling. But she merely kept pulling until his mouth was level with hers.
He pressed his body flush to hers as she greedily sought his lips and tasted herself on his tongue. In his mouth. Fili suddenly felt hotter than before at the thought.
With great strength, his arm came around her and he pulled them both up and off of the floor. He sat back down with her in his lap. All this he did and did not break their kiss.
His hands came down to rest between them and only then did he break away to look at her.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded.
Slowly and carefully he aligned himself to press against her and they both cried out at the feeling of her warmth pressed against his. And slowly, almost agonisingly slowly, he slipped inside of her.
He could have cried. Dru was.
"Am I hurting you?" He carefully brushed her tears away with his thumbs.
"No," she smiled at him and actually gave a shaky laugh, "no, it doesn't hurt. It...It feels good."
'Wonderful. Fantastic. Brilliant. FINALLY.'
She could have screamed at him, but instead, she bit back her words. She just looked down into his eyes and rolled her hips.
He gasped and clung onto her fiercely. Neither wanted to blink when she did it again, their faces contorted into mirrors of the pleasure they both felt. Fili began to move with her. His hands grabbing at her waist, guiding her. Clinging on. Urging her. She shifted ever so slightly and drove against him, harder than before.
"Dru," her name became a ragged cry, torn from his throat as his eyes screwed shut in pleasure. She became lost in the sensation and shut her eyes also.
She held onto him as she came undone again, her hips wildly bucking as she rode out her own pleasure.
As she came down from it, Fili again shifted them. Without pulling out, he laid her onto the floor below and she desperately clung onto him when he sheathed himself in and out of her in an erratic rhythm.
She shifted her hips and wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him in even deeper.
"Fi-Fi, let go-" He cut her off with a powerful kiss, continuing his thrusts.
He didn't want it to end. He knew, that as soon as he stopped then it would be finished. There would not be another moment like this and he couldn't face that. So he savoured every moment as he looked down at her. He memorized her taste, her cries and the way her skin felt against his lips.
It was the hand on his back, the roll of her hips and his name escaping from her throat again that sent him over the edge. He couldn't stop it and his hips stuttered as he rolled inside of her a few more times. Crying out her name and trying desperately to look at her face as he came, but screwing his eyes shut when the pleasure overtook him. He collapsed against her, his body curling down to feel her against him. He knew he was crushing her, but he just wanted to feel her. Feel them together.
After a few quiet moments, with only the sound of their heavy breathing filling the air, he felt her tap lightly against his skin.
"Fi...Fi are ye' dead?"
He pressed his lips against her neck, wanting to hide there.
"Yes." He grumbled out.
She laughed and placed a small kiss against the top of his head.
"Okay...Fi, you're crushing me."
He did feel guilty about that.
He reluctantly pulled his limp cock out from her, wincing as the cold air hit his skin. But he didn't pull away from her completely. As he rolled onto his back, he pulled her with his and laughed at her shriek of surprise. She quickly laughed with him when they settled down, her head resting against his chest with his arms wrapped around her.
Dru knew he couldn't love her that way and the thought made her ache, so she stopped herself thinking about it. She didn't explore her feelings any more than that, for now just content at the moment they had shared.
Fili felt that ache in his chest again. He had so much to say but no way to get it out without tripping over his tongue. He mentally berated himself when he thought 'not now. Later', because as far as he knew, there wouldn't be a later. Tomorrow, they'd be off to the Mountain and for all he knew that could be the end of their journey. His heart clenched painfully and his arm tightened around her instinctively.
"Fi?" Dru's head lifted and she looked up at him. He almost didn't want to look at her, the pain evident in his eyes.
"You know I'll protect you, right?" He whispered and finally looked at her, remembering her as she was now. The healthy afterglow, her sweat. Her eyes glowing the way he'd never seen them before.
She managed to wiggle herself free out of his grasp and pulled herself up so her face hovered above his.
"And you know I'll do the same for you?" She leant over and placed a small kiss at the corner of his mouth before pulling away, "Come on now. We should get back and get some sleep."
Fili had to restrain himself from pouting. His hands were still on her body, his fingers flexing over the skin of her hips and waist.
"We could just sleep here?"
"Pfft, fat chance. You know what will happen if we miss the boat? Thorin will have our hides." She casually reached out and moved pieces of his hair away from his face.
He knew that had to move. He knew that they couldn't stay in this moment. But that didn't mean he wanted it to end. Before she had a chance to move away, he pushed himself up, grabbed the back of her head and gave her one last smouldering kiss. He poured all he could into it. She kissed him back with just as much force. Their bodies began to react again and Dru pulled away reluctantly, knowing that if she didn't they would lose themselves in the heat.
'Thinking with his cock again'. She smiled down at him and felt his hand carefully work up and down her body again, before stilling.
"Come on. Let's get back," he nodded at her, finally agreeing that it was time.
Dru tried to hide her sad smile. She quickly crawled away from him and turned her attention to the room around.
They dressed again in silence and it was killing both of them. Not looking at one another, not speaking. Just silence.
Dru watched him reach for his boots and got an idea to break the tension.
"Here. Let me."
She moved over to him and signalled for him to sit back with his leg out. She slipped on his boot and took great care buckling and lacing it back up, making sure he was safe from the cold.
"Someone's got to do this properly. Don't want you tripping onto that face of yours," she started on the other boot, briefly looking up at him to smile, "You'll be king one day."
He actually laughed at that and the tension dissipated.
They talked about everything and anything that wasn't the quest. They laughed and bullied one another and Fili took any punches she threw at him and he would pull her hair when she tried to tackle him again.
Inside that warehouse that wasn't their home, inside that dingy and dusty room they had one another. And no matter how their journey ended, they had come this far together.
And now, we return you, dear Questor, back to what you desire.