Summary: When Maura comes back from a three month exchange programme in Europe she brings an unexpected surprise with her. Coming to terms that maybe things will not turn out the way she secretly hoped, Jane throws herself at work and pushes herself to the limit. Her relationship with Maura becomes strained. But when disaster strikes every single life will forever be changed and some people are forced to look at some of the choices they made that brought them to where they are.

Pairing: It will be Rizzles later on but it will take me a little while to get there. No hate for what happens in the beginning please. I will ONLY write and ship Rizzles..

Rating: T.

Disclaimer: Rizzoli & Isles belongs to the amazingly talented Tess Gerritsen as well as the ingenious Janet Tamaro and TNT. Just adding to their brilliance with a twist of my own.

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
~Michael Leunig

Chapter 1

The last rays of the afternoon sun disappeared behind the Boston skyline and slowly the streets began to fill with commuters making their way home after another long way at the office. The highway soon became gridlocked with cars nose to tail for as far as the eye could see. Darkness was falling rapidly. In December the days always felt shorter. Now that Thanksgiving was out of the way, the shop windows were illuminated by Christmas lights and bright coloured posters begging costumers to buy the latest toys, make-up or some other meaningless present. The wind was bitter cold and those making their way on foot were wrapped up in thick winter coats, hats with matching scarfs and gloves. The weather forecast promised snow. By tomorrow morning a fine dusting of crystal white snow would bring Boston to a surprising halt.

Detective Jane Rizzoli had only just walked back into Boston PD Headquarters. She rubbed her hands together in an attempt to regain some of the feeling in her fingers. Of course she had forgotten her gloves when she rushed out three hours earlier, about to arrest a guy suspected of killing his ex-girlfriend and running over her dog. It had resulted in a chase down some dodgy alleyway and for a split second it had looked like the guy was about to get away. Then Jane had gone into overdrive and caught up with him. For the next week or so he would bear the imprint of a metal fence across his face.

Her eyes subconsciously darted to the windows and she watched the darkness set in. She could smell the snow in the air and she wanted nothing more than to go home, put on her sweatpants and watch ESPN. Her head snapped up when she heard footsteps behind her and Frost and Korsak came in.

"Jane, I hear our perp's got a new facial tattoo," Frost snickered and Jane feigned a grin.

"Yeah. He's gonna look real good in his mug shot."

"Time to go home. There's going to be snow later and I don't fancy digging out my car," Korsak said as he took his coat from the back of his chair and when Jane and Frost sent him a questioning look he shrugged. "What? Paperwork can wait till the morning!"

Frost didn't protest and went about collecting his own things. Jane stood by her desk and her hand slipped in her pocket and pulled out her cell. When Frost caught her eye she sighed. "I'm just going to call Maura and…." Her voice trailed off when the realisation that she could not call the brunette medical examiner. She couldn't tell Maura what kind of day she'd had. She averted her eyes and ignored Frost's kind attempt of diverting her mind.

"Anything good on TV tonight?" he tried.

"Red Sox," Jane muttered and picked up her coat. Without looking at either Frost or Korsak Jane turned around and marched out of the homicide department. She pressed the button on the elevator and waited for the doors to swing open. She appreciated that Korsak and Frost stayed behind, knowing that she wanted to be alone. Sometimes she hated that she was surrounded by cops. They had perfect instincts and knew when it was safe to approach. This was not the right moment. The silver lift elevator doors swung open and Jane stepped into the confined space. To her irritation an annoying Christmas jingle started playing. Jingle Bells had never felt more misplaced.

Jane could not get used to not having Maura around. The sound of the medical examiner's heels clicking on the cheap lino that covered the department's floors was something she strangely missed the most. She had even come to miss Maura's uncanny habit of stating random facts at the most inappropriate moments as well as making startling observations most of the general population would miss. The morgue seemed strangely cold, colder than usual, without her. Jane did not like Maura's replacement. A stubborn and grumpy man in his mid-fifties with bad teeth and thinning grey hair. These days Jane made the effort of not going down there too often, unless she had to. The morgue no longer felt like home.

Jane had never before realised that twelve weeks could feel like an eternity. Maura had accepted a placement in Europe as part of a medical examiner's exchange programme. She was currently working in London, England. And, according to her emails, she was enjoying it and she was learning and discovering a lot. They were very Maura like, those emails. Detailed where others would neglect to mention the way the English coroners handled their victims. There was surprisingly little tourist information but Jane doubted Maura was driving around on a red double decker somewhere.

Jane glanced at her watch in an attempt to once again familiarise herself with the time zone differences. They had Skyped every so often, which meant that Jane had stayed awake till some unholy hour in the morning just to talk to Maura for a few minutes. She sounded excited whenever Jane spoke to her but what really made it worth the lack of sleep was seeing her smile on her laptop screen. It felt crazy, talking to a machine, but hearing Maura's voice somehow made it look better. Jane never told her she missed her, of course. She rambled on about the crazy replacement they had sent and every so often she passed on some messages from her colleagues. Actually, it was usually her mother who had things to say. Angela was housesitting whilst Maura was gone and she made a point of thanking her whenever the opportunity arose. It was surprisingly difficult to keep a conversation going whilst separated by thousands of miles.

Her mind was blurred by all those thoughts and it took a while for the time reflected on her watch to really sink in. But when it did Jane felt her heart suddenly skip and she swore under her breath. "SHIT!"

The doors swung open and Jane ran across the police headquarters' main reception hall and out of the glass front door. The cold wind robbed her from her breath and her lungs were instantly pressed against her ribcage. She reached the station's parking lot, unlocked her car from a distance and jumped behind the wheel. She reversed with squeaking tyres and joined the line of traffic trying to get out of Boston. Upon realising that she wasn't going to get out of the traffic jam anytime soon, Jane did the only thing she knew would get her to her destination on time. She reached for the siren on the front desk of her car and switched on. Blue and red lights as well as loud wailing caused the cars in front of her to disperse and with a smirk Jane increased her speed and finally got on her way.

~()~

Logan International Airport was relatively quiet and Jane walked into the Arrivals Hall with only a few minutes to spare. Her eyes trailed over the list of flights that had arrived in the last few minutes and felt her heart leap up when it showed the flight from London had landed half an hour early. She made her way through some of the waiting crowd towards the door and made sure she was in plain view. She pushed her hands deeply into pockets of her black slacks and cursed herself for not having gone home earlier. Instead she had tried to mask the vague scent of sweat with some deodorant and hoped that Maura would understand.

She was back today. Her best friend had landed and was probably waiting for her luggage on the other side. Jane took her cell and sent a quick text message. "I am here. Please tell me you brought me a souvenir."There was no reply but Jane didn't mind. Maura was probably loading her tremendous amount of luggage on a trolley.

It didn't take too long for Jane to find Maura walking into the hall. The brunette pushed a trolley with four separate suitcases and her handbag hung over her shoulder. Hazel eyes scanned the Arrivals hall and lit up when she discovered Jane leaning against one of the billboards. Jane smiled sheepishly as she walked up her best friend and eagerly enveloped Maura in her arms.

"Hey," she said as she took in the sweet scent of Maura's perfume. How was it possible that this woman still smelled and looked amazing even after a 6 and half hour flight?

"Hi," Maura smiled and her arms closed around the raven haired detective's back.

"Did you miss me?" Jane asked playfully when she and Maura let go of each other.

Maura blinked. "Jane, I was only gone for twelve weeks!"

"I think you and I have a completely different perception of time," Jane smirked and went to reach for Maura's trolley. "Twelve weeks is the whole first trimester of a pregnancy!"

Maura's eyes darted to Jane's stomach in confusion. She furrowed her brow. "You're pregnant?"

"Never mind, Maur," Jane grinned and began pushing the trolley towards the exit. Maura fell behind. "Come on, I'm double parked and I am not sure if my badge will get me out of a ticket."

"Maura?"

Jane turned around when an unfamiliar woman's voice called her friend's name and she watched how Maura walked back towards the door through which she had just appeared. A woman, about Jane's age, with a short brown bob and dressed in pale jeans and a black sweater pushed a trolley containing two cases and she stopped now that Maura reached her. To Jane's surprise the two women then walked back towards her and when they reached her Jane noticed how Maura averted her eyes.

"Emily, meet Jane Rizzoli."

"Ah, the famous homicide detective I've heard so much about," the brunette said and extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Jane."

Jane frowned. "Yes, that would be me," she replied hesitantly. She glanced at Maura. The medical examiner still did not meet her eye and Jane felt suspicion build up in the pit of her stomach. The familiar sharpness to her voice emerged when she shook the unknown woman's hand. She made it extra powerful. "And I am afraid I have no idea who you are, Emily."

"Emily Browne," the brunette replied in a way that made it sound like that the dark haired detective was supposed to know her name already. Jane's ears pricked up at the distinct British accent. "I work as a forensic pathologist for an independent lab in London."

"I see," Jane replied apprehensively and let go of the other woman's hand. "And this brings you to Boston?"

Emily smiled. "Yes. Well that and Maura of course."

Jane swallowed and her throat suddenly felt uncomfortable dry. "Maura?"

"She kept telling me how beautiful Boston is during the winter and I had a few holidays left to take so I decided to celebrate Christmas stateside this year," Emily answered and Jane watched in shock as she placed her hand on Maura's arm in a way that she had never expected a friend to do. The pieces of the puzzle began to fall together and she grabbed Maura's arm and practically dragged her away. The medical examiner nearly tripped over her feet. Jane sent Emily an apologetic look and made sure she and Maura were outside of hearing range.

Jane's dark eyes pierced into Maura's hazel brown. She felt betrayed. She felt lied to. All the emotions she had already felt once before, when Maura didn't tell her about Tommy being a suspect in a robbery case, returned. She thought they had moved away from that. She believed they had moved on. "When exactly were you going to tell me about this?"

Maura tried to speak. "Jane…"

This is NOT what I meant when I said 'bring me back a souvenir, Maura'.

"You didn't think it would matter if you brought some British woman back to Boston who is clearly a lot more than just a friend?" Jane hissed through clenched teeth. The hurt was written across her face. "Gees Maura, we talked regularly during the twelve weeks you were gone. Half an hour, three days a week and you didn't think you could at least tell me?"

"I didn't think that Emily would actually come," Maura confessed and Jane's eyes widened in surprise. Maura fumbled with her fingers and she reminded Jane of what she had looked like on that fateful day when Tommy got arrested. She could see the emotions flicker in her eyes. "I said that she should visit Boston some time and she took the invite literally, I think. Jane, I never intended not to tell you. I just…"

"Forgot to mention you're sleeping with a woman?"

Maura looked like a deer caught in headlines and there was a hint of surprise in her voice. "You don't approve?"

"It is not about my approval Maura; it is about you not feeling safe enough to tell me. Did you really think I wouldn't be your friend anymore just because you're latest bed bunny is a woman? For God sake Maura, my uncle Marty has slept with half the male population of Boston and my uncle Francis wears dresses."

"I'm sorry, Jane," Maura whispered. "I'm really sorry."

"Forget it," Jane groaned and she walked back to fetch the luggage trolley. Emily cast her a curious look but Jane ignored it. She walked past Maura with her luggage and stalked towards the exit, not waiting for the medical examiner or her newfound lover to catch up. When she stepped out into the bitter cold night the sharp wind drew tears from her eyes. She had brushed them away by the time Maura and Emily appeared at her side and Jane went ahead to her double parked car. Glad to see she hadn't got a ticket she loaded Maura's luggage in the trunk and apologised to Emily for having to keep hers in the backseat.

"I wasn't expecting an extra passenger."

The venom didn't remain unnoticed by Maura and as she got in the passenger's seat she looked at the dark haired detective. She resisted touching her though she wanted to. Her hand hung frozen in mid-air. Her voice was soft and nearly broken. "Jane, are we OK?"

Jane didn't look at her. "Ask me that when I have made up my mind about whether I hate you or not."

She turned the key and the engine began to roar. She quickly manoeuvred the car from the drop off car park and overtook a slow driving taxi and a dodgy looking van. When she glanced beside her she found Maura staring straight ahead, her hands folded in her lap. Jane reached to readjust the rear view mirror and she caught Emily staring at her. Her stomach tightened.

There had been others. For both of them but especially for Maura. Jane knew about every single one of them. She felt angry and upset that Maura had not trusted her to talk about Emily. And Jane resented her for it. As she drove across the now slightly less busy highway she found herself occasionally looking at some of the streetlights as she passed them. Soft, delicate lights against the ink black sky. Jane didn't look at Maura for the remainder of their journey. It was quiet in the car with only the Christmas tunes on the radio for their company. Jane wasn't sure what had just happened but she felt like she had just lost the most beautiful thing in in her life.