In every class there's one kid who refuses to be social. They're by themselves during class, hiding behind a book or looking out a window to wherever their eyes set upon is what catches all of their attention. Recess is just another place to sit alone. No other children bother with them, for that they've tried many times with no avail.
There's one specific boy, though, that matches this description. His name was Ryan. Being eight years old and anti-social, Ryan had no friends. No partner to play games with, no friend to get into trouble with. But he didn't mind. In fact Ryan loved being alone. No one person could make him happy like his notebook could. All he had to do was draw and or write, then everything would be fine. Just Ryan and his notebook.
It was like the notebook was a shield. As if when he held it tightly against himself the names people spat at him wouldn't cause any wounds, but they did. Every name was like a stab to the chest. The notebook shielded the wounds from Ryan's eyes; he never noticed how much they were hurting him.
One day during class, Ryan was looking out the rooms window. A piece of paper which slid onto his desk caught his attention. With slight hesitation, Ryan turned his head and stared at the slip of paper, Before the boy knew it, he grabbed the white sheet and opened it before his eyes. There was messy writing which covered the sheet.
"Hey I'm new here! My name is Felix, what's yours?"
Ryan felt a pair of eyes on his covered up face, it made him uncomfortable. He slumped back lower into the plastic chair while placing the note upon his desk with no intention of answering. A few minutes passed and Ryan got more uncomfortable.
'Can't he just leave me alone?' Ryan thought to himself. The ticking clock soon caught his attention. One more minute until recess. Just one more uncomfortable minute.
Once 'his' beloved bell rang the boy took no time in reaching into the small oakwood desk to retrieve his notebook. His hand searched around, feeling for it's familiar texture and rectangular shape until coming upon it. Swiftly, the book slid out from under the clutters of textbooks and loose papers.
Ryan was the last one out of the once children filled classroom, which surprised him. Most of the other kids usually would stay back inside, trying to get a few more extra minutes of needed warmth. He didn't focus too much on the question bouncing around in his head; why the change?
Whilst hugging the precious paper filled notebook, Ryan made his way out into the empty halls then eventually out the door which lead outside. It was like walking into a sheet of glass; the crisp, cold air hit his face harshly. A fit of shivers took control of Ryan, his sweater didn't help keep the cold out in the least. Winter didn't want to wait much longer
It wasn't hard to notice children everywhere, huddling together in warmth. Some actually managed to find warmth by themselves and were running around, playing regular schoolyard games. Upon finding his special spot which he could sit without the screams of laughter from his fellow schoolmates blasting so loudly in his fragile ears, Ryan sat down, his notebook resting on his lap. Fifteen minutes to draw or write; whichever he deemed right for the moment.
He opened the book to a fresh page placed the led of his pencil lightly onto sheet. Within a few moments the pencil moved swiftly along the page without any thought. At first it all looked like bunch of random lines. Once a final stroked line was added the drawing made sense. It was of a little toy soldier standing, separated from the other toys. All the pieces of a puzzle were fit together to make one, the coloured lego pieces were stuck together to make a structure. Everything was together but that one soldier. It was fine, though, he wanted to be by himself.
The army might've not been completed but what difference was one petty soldier? Really no-one would be affected. The army could go on without him.
Ryan took a few minutes more to add specific details to his drawing but once finished, he was proud. The image upon the paper seemed like a mirror of his life; the soldier all by his lonesome was Ryan, the other toys were his classmates.
The small boy exhaled, a puff of white air blew from his mouth, the air really was cold. Only then did he realize that only his cheeks and ears were cold, everywhere else felt normal. It was strange. Ryan leaned back against the brick wall of the school, closing his eyes for a brief moment.
"That drawing is amazing bro! How'd ya do it so well?" A voice came from beside Ryan which made him gasp slightly in shock. 'when did someone sneak up on me?' thought Ryan. The boy opened his eyes and looked to the right to see a blond sitting next to him, his blue eyes and smile radiated onto Ryan whom didn't answer the question.
Ryan could tell that the boy in front of him was wondering about the white poker face mask he wore. Why did he wear it? And why did it only cover everything on his face but his mouth and down. Ryan gaze drifted down to his lap in a shy manner 'leave me alone please,' He thought to himself. He just wanted to be alone.
"Why do you hid your face behind that mask?" Typical… "Can you please take it off?" The other reached a small hand towards Ryans mask. He moved away then stood up with his notebook, running far away from the boy who tried to unmask him.
'Nobody should touch my mask….. It's not right it's mine,' Ryan thought as his small legs quickly carried him inside the rather warm school. He walked into the boys bathroom, locking himself in a stall. He sat there until the bell rang.
'What's wrong with my mask? Is It bad that I wear it? Well that's okay. No matter where I go people will wonder and judge me. It's fine I'm used to it….,' His mind was being corrupted with thoughts of his own mask. He was questioning why he really does wear it. Ryan was smart for his age. He thought over every detail or plan before putting it into action. He realized that the sky is blue. He knew his hair was brown. And he definitely knew that Halloween wasn't everyday. The reason of wearing the pokerface mask wasn't just to dress up or stand out, rather the opposite. Standing out was the exact opposite of what he wanted.
The mask was there for a reason.
What reason?
For security.
Ryan knew that he could not always have his notebook with him. He loathes the fact, but he knew it. Instead of having no shield to protect him, Ryan wore a mask. An emotionless mask which hid his emotions. It was perfect and he loved his mask as he did his notebook.
Maybe a few minutes after the bell had rung, Ryan stood from the toilet seat, opened the stall door, then walked out. He stood in front of the mirror and looked to the boy standing before him; brown hair which fell over the top of a white poker face mask. He wore casual blue jeans with a green hoodie which said 'sup?'
Then there was a frown.
There wasn't any signs that he'd been outside. With an annoyed sigh, he brought his hand to the exposed area of cheeks then pinched them harshly. After a few seconds Ryan retracted his hands to reveal bright red marks on the lower of his cheeks. It looked like the cold got to them; like he actually was outside the whole recess.
After doing so Ryan hugged his notebook to his chest then slowly trudged back to class. As he walked in, a women who stood in front of a black board turned and looked at the boy, a stern look was set upon her face. Ryan could still see the gentle kindness in her eyes, though.
"Ryan, you're late to class. Where were you? Is everything alright?" The brunette boy looked to his tied laces and with a shrug he walked to his seat at the back of the class.
The teacher sent him a worried look then went back to explaining the assigned project to the class.
"For the next several weeks you're going to be working on a small project, since this is an even class this'll work out perfectly," The lady clapped her hands together with a large smile "I will be pairing you up into a group of two. I can promise your partner will not be a friend, or someone you know quite well for that matter. Because…! your assignment will be to get to know your partner and by the end of the next month you will write a small paragraph or two about the person. It may be surprising but by the end of this you'll probably be good friends. now for the pairs….,"
The teacher was all smiles when she held a sheet of paper in front of her eyes.
"Felicia and Carli, Peyton and Malix….," The list went on until two names caught Ryan's attention. "Ryan and Felix," He looked up at the sound of his name.
"Felix? Isn't he the one who wrote that note?" Thinking back on the note, he remembered that Felix indeed was the writer. Ryan released a quiet sigh and placed his notebook onto the oakwood desk, opening to a new page. He began to sketch randomly with no intentions in store. In the boys head was nothing, his surroundings became something he didn't focus on. All the sounds faded until Ryan was in a distant place where he could be in renascence if only just for a few minutes. In the middle of drawing a circular shape, the paper was gone and Ryan was staring at his desk.
He looked up and saw the same blond from recess holding his beloved notebook with a wide grin.
The brunette shot out of his seat, teeth clenched. The chair made a high pitched screech before toppling backwards, defeated on the ground. Ryan clenched his hands into fists as he pounced onto the taller blond. They both fell backwards onto the hard floor, Ryan on top of the other. His knees were planted on the floor on both sides of the blonde's hips.
"I-I'm sorry! You weren't paying attention! W-We needed to start working so I….. I took this so you'd pay attention,"Ryan thought for a moment then his eyes widened. Quickly, he stood from the other and bowed his head in an apologetic manner. The blond had only taken his notebook because Ryan was spaced out. It was Ryan's fault.
He felt a hand on one of his shoulders so he looked up and saw the boy who was on the floor, standing in front of him with a signature grin.
"It's fine bro. Here have your notebook back, it seems important to you," Ryan reached forwards and took the notebook , holding it tightly against his chest. They both sat in a chair, facing eachother. Ryan felt awkward, yes, but something about the other put him at ease. Maybe it was his constant smile which beamed with friendliness.
"So uh I guess to start the project off we should introduce ourselves," He paused for a second then continued. "My name is Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg. You can call me Felix though," Ryan nodded then said nothing. How could he tell his name without speaking? WIth slight hesitation he rested his notebook on his lap and began writing;
'I'm Ryan Terry,'
Then held it out for Felix to read, which he did.
All up until lunch they both talked about random things. Well, more like Felix started up a conversation and Ryan soon ended it by writing a three word response.
It was the first interaction with another of his own age for Ryan in the longest time. The time went by a little too quickly.
The day went on as it normally would. Ryan didn't say a word during class then at recess he sat in his special place and drew. The only difference was that Felix was at his side every moment, silently sitting beside Ryan during class and recess.
The bell which signalled the end of the day rang throughout the school and all the kids cheered; finally freedom.
Ryan slung his packed bag over a small shoulder. As usual he hugged his notebook closely to himself. Soon he was out of the school and waiting for his mom to pick him up. The weather was still pretty chilly, it wasn't helping that the cold wind stung everywhere it touched. In search for extra heat he shuffled a bit until a hand was placed on his shoulder. Ryan jumped a bit then turned around to see not his mother, but Felix. Felix laughed at how jumpy Ryan was.
"Hey! Can I come over your house? So we can work on the project," The brown haired boy thought for a moment. It was obvious that they needed a lot of more work done on their project. With an unnoticeable sigh, he nodded in agreement.
"Great! Now what are we waiting for?" Turning around, Ryan noticed his mom and pointed to her then motioned for Felix to follow as he walked to her.
"Hello sweetie! Oh who's this?" Mrs. Terry looked from Ryan to Felix with a kind smile.
"I am Felix. Ryan and I are doing a project together. You must be his mom! It's nice to meet you," The two exchanged smiles as Ryan snuck into the car. He opened the rather heavy door and climbed inside, closing it behind him. It wasn't long after his seat belt was buckled when two of the car doors opened; his mother got into the drivers seat and Felix hopped in beside Ryan. Everyone was set to go and they were off, down the road to Ryan's house.
The blur of trees passing by stopped as the car rolled into the driveway. "We're here boys,"
The three of them exited the car. As soon as the front door was unlocked, Ryan rushed in and ran up the stairs, disappearing from sight. Felix was about to follow but decided to ask the mother something before hand. He'd been wondering something all of that day.
"Why doesn't Ryan talk?" He randomly blurted out. Felix didn't really have his curiosity under control. Ryan's mother was just about to walk to the kitchen but stopped when hearing Felix. she turned and looked at the small boy. A small 'hm?' escaped her lips.
"Well….. all of today he didn't say a word to me or even the teacher. Why?" paused then sighed. She tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear before responding.
"I don't really have a proper answer for you Felix, I do not know why Ryan doesn't speak. There's nothing wrong with his vocal cords as the doctors say. I'm assuming he just doesn't know how to yet…. maybe Ryan has to learn and try a bit harder," Felix nodded slowly "Ah, well. We'll figure it out someday. Now why don't you go upstairs to Ryan's room, he should be there. The second room on the right," He did as told, winding up in Ryan's room where Ryan was sitting on his bed with that notebook.
Felix didn't say anything as he walked into the average sized room. 'Ryan can't speak? I'll fix that soon. I'll get Ryan to speak to me!' Felix thought to himself as he sat beside the slightly shorter boy. Ryan's head shot up at the feel of his bed moving. Looking to the side he saw Felix sitting there, a small smile gracing his face.
"So what do you like to do for fun?" WIthout any hesitation a finger was pointed at a series of games and devices set up in one corner of the room. "Cool me too! Let's play a game!" Ryan nodded as the two stood up and walked over to the games.
They chose a game and played for a few hours.
Felix talked. Ryan, well, didn't. Just as expected.
Once the round was finished, the blond looked over to the other 'He really doesn't say anything even at his own house. How can I get him to speak….' He thought while unintentionally staring at Ryan. In response Ryan turned his head, giving Felix a questioning look.
"Sorry bro," Ryan shrugged. A wave of awkward silence went upon them. Awkward….
"Boys dinner's ready come down now please," Ryan's mother called from down the stairs. Both boys stood from their seated positions. The TV was left on as the two walked out of Ryan's room, down the stairs. Smells of delicious assortments of food filled the air.
The two boys sat at the table just as placed plates upon plates of food on the table. Mouth watering scents emitted from each steaming dish. "Serve yourselves. Oh and Ryan, dad's going to be late… again," A small sigh was heard.
'It's like he's not even part of this family anymore. Dad's never home,' Ryan thought to himself while putting a small amount of food on his plate.
Everyone was close to finishing the meal. There was a conversation going on for a bit between Felix and but that died off eventually. Just as Ryan lifted the last spoonful of corn to his mouth, the front door was pushed open aggressively and slammed shut. A male voice boomed in a furious manner.
"That is absolute bull crap! It was one simple task! You obviously can't understand a single fucking command… you are fired I want you out of the building by the morning so grab your shit and go. I don't want to see you again!" The man shouted through the phone he had clenched in his hand. He furiously hung up and stomped through the hall until he was in the dining room. stood from her seat then walked to the man with a confused look. "Honey what happened?"
"Some idiot fucked up. Now one of the trucks is lost somewhere in Canada. We probably just lost a customer because of that fucker."
"Sweetie, watch your language in front of the children," The male looked passed and set his eyes upon Felix "Who's this?"
"That's Ryan's friend, Felix. They're working on a project together," Ryan's attention was caught at the sound of the friend. Felix and Ryan. Friends? No, They were just mere acquaintances. Classmates. Assigned to do a project together. Nothing more.
Ryan glanced over at Felix and saw the other looking right back at him "Your dad has a mouth," He whispered. Ryan nodded. A large and dirty mouth filled with swear, indeed.
"My apologies boys, I was upset. Just please don't repeat my language," Both boys nodded. He then looked back to "I'll be going out in about an hour or so and I wont be home until you're most likely in bed," She nodded slowly thinking about how that it was the third time that week he had to go out. And it was only thursday.
Ryan stood from his seat, taking his and Felix's empty dishes to the dishwasher, placing them into the machine. The two then went back up to Ryan's room to actually work on the project.
Some time passed. Ryan learned plenty of things about Felix; his main language was actually Swedish, he moved to Florida just a month previous and that his birthday's October 24th. On the other hand Felix learnt hardly anything about Ryan. All he could squeeze out of him was that his birthday was June 11th. That was all.
'If things keep going like this then the whole project will be horrible….,' Felix thought to himself. From the corner of his eyes he saw the time. 8: 30 PM.
"Dang it's late. I have to go Ryan I'll see you at school," The minute Felix walked out the front door Ryan raced to his room then closed the door behind himself. He was tired, although it was still early in the evening. Quickly he stripped himself of his clothes, putting on a shirt that was a few sizes larger than needed. He still wore boxers. Ryan padded over to his bed then folded the sheets back and jumped in, pulling them over himself. Looking at the side table he made sure his notebook was safe before laying down and allowing the darkness of sleep overcome him. He had no dreams, rather nightmares.
He was on the floor, cold tile lay underneath his body. There was a pain in his gaw and it hurt like hell. Everything was black. Then he realized his eyelids were closed. When they opened his breath hitched. A hallway went down as far as Ryan could see, every few metres a door laid. The hall was dimly lighted, the lighting made it gloomy. Everything was at a deafening silence. Ryan felt as if he should stand from the floor so he did. Upon standing, Ryan looked behind himself quickly. He swore he felt a breath on his neck.
The first few steps were shaky but Ryan caught control of his wobbly legs and steadied them, walking forwards. The first door he came to had a blue handle Ryan grabbed it but quickly retracted his hand. The metal handle was freezing cold. The second door had a red handle. Because of the last experience Ryan cautiously poked the handle. It burnt his finger.
Ryan walked passed several doors until one with no handle caught his eye. He stopped in front of it
'how does it open?' He thought. A nagging feeling brought him to stuff s hand into his green hoodies pocket. His fingers latched around a cool feeling object. He brought his hand out of his pocket and saw a small thin metal column in his palm. Ryan's eyes came upon a hole in the door where a handle should be. Ryan shoved the column in the hole and the door made a 'click' noise then cracked open on it's own. The boy peered inside and saw old dusty furniture. He stepped inside.
That was a mistake. As he stepped in the door slammed shut and locked behind him. Ryan jumped at the sound. What was happening? The rooms light flickered then went out completely. Ryan felt suffocated. He heard very high pitch screeching. The light returned once the sound ended. Everything was different.
There was no furniture.
The walls had moved.
The room was only big enough for Ryan.
He was closed in.
No way out.
Ryan screamed, his voice was raw from the underuse of it. Claustrophobic is what he felt. Ryan screamed and clawed at the walls once a pair of hands grabbed onto his ankles a bit too tightly. He tried to grip onto something, anything but he couldn't, the hand just pulled on his legs until Ryan had no more strength. The hands dragged him under. He couldn't see anything, but he felt himself slip into something warm, of a thick liquid substance.
First his legs were dragged in. Then his torso. And then he was completely submerged into the substance. No way of breathing but that hands dragged him deeper and deeper in. All until he saw a line of light. It got closer and closer.
Then, he shot up, eyes opening. He was in his room. Ryan was sweating and shaken. That was no dream… it was a nightmare. It was sad, though. That was the best dream he had so far…..
More To Come