Can't Go Home Again
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE HUNGER GAMES. REALLY
"You don't have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back." ― James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room
A/N-For my friend, Ginchy-Amanda, who asked for a meeting between Gale and his namesake. I do hope this is what you had in mind.
Beginning
The train slid into the station at District 12, steam curling out like embracing fingers toward the lone figure who stepped lightly into the gray morning light. Uncomfortable in his civilian wear, Gale Hawthorne pushed a weary hand through his hair and let his eyes wonder over the town. It was home, where he had grown up, and yet it wasn't. The last time he saw it, the area was in ashes. The fires had been extinguished but the acrid scent of burning still hung in the air. There was nothing left that was familiar. Nothing left of home. And yet it was the only home he had. The only one he had ever known.
The buildings stood tall, not the rubble that still haunted the worst of his dreams. They were not blanketed in the gray coal haze that used to cover the district. It was as if the past had been swept clean, wiped away in orange light. Gale shook himself free of the memories, breathing deep and slow until his heart rate calmed. The panic ebbed away leaving a residue of tired, aching dread. He hadn't been back here in fifteen years. He didn't know what to expect. He knew what he hoped. Gale had learned a long time ago that hope was an expendable currency. It was often the first thing to go.
Heading off the main thoroughfare, he angled off toward the row of twelve houses set separate and isolated from the rest of the town. The green stretched out immaculately tended with thickly leafed trees bordering the paths cutting back and forth. Flowers of every hue bloomed in lushly planted beds edging the white fence where rolling lawn met empty pathway. The Victor's Village had been built long ago by the Capital to house the tributes who returned home as winners, celebrated and revered. District 12 had the honor of three victors. Three houses should have been occupied. In any other district, this was the norm. But District 12 was home to the star-crossed victors of the 74th annual Games. Beloved country wide, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen had provided the spark that lit a blaze hot enough to burn the Capital to the ground. The Mockingjay and the Boy with the Bread. His best friend and the baker who spoke like a seasoned statesman. The people he had travelled halfway around the world to see.
He stopped before her house, a nervous knot of nestled firmly in his belly. Would she even agree to see him? Would Peeta let him see her? How could he look her in the eye not knowing if he was responsible? Gale stomped down on these self-defeating thoughts. He had come all this way. He refused to be cowed fifteen feet from her front door. Stepping through the gate, he walked purposefully up the path. He was raising his hand to knock when a small voice piped up, "Who are you?" He swung around, eyes scanning the porch. When he finally located the source, he felt his throat dry up and panic sent an acid tang into the back of his throat.
She was tiny. Her dark hair was threaded into two tidy braids that flowed down below her shoulders. Her blue eyes were bright and questioning. Gale noted the ragged teddy bear and the small feet peeking out from beneath a pink frothy gown. She was camped out in the corner porch swing, eying him with wary interest. "Who are you?" she asked again, cuddling the teddy bear closely.
"My name is Gale. I know your mommy and daddy. Are they home?" he answered softly.
She giggled inexplicably and twisted the end of one braid. "Mommy is in the woods. Daddy is in the kitchen." She climbed out of the swing and skipped across the porch. "You're tall. You're bigger than my daddy."
Gale shifted somewhat uncomfortably. He had no desire to compare himself to Peeta, especially not when the mirror image of the man's eyes was looking at him so directly. She had her father's eyes set in her mother's face. Gale's stomach clinched, panic twisting though him like a knife. "Can you please let your daddy know that I'm here? I came a long way to see both him and your mommy." The girl nodded eagerly and gathered the teddy bear and a few other toys up into a bundle.
"Did you know my Aunt Prim?" She asked suddenly. Gale froze. His jaw worked but no sound escaped. "Mommy says that I look like her. Do you think I look like her?" Gale nodded numbly, another pair of blue eyes dancing just beyond sight, light laughter echoing just beyond hearing. The girl, suddenly looking pleased, grabbed his hand and squeezed excitedly. Gale swallowed, suddenly torn between going tamely and running hysterically all the way back to the train station. His fingers twitched, jerking in the little grasp, and confused blue eyes looked up at him questioningly. He was just about to twist free when he heard the door open and another pair of blue eyes met his gaze.
"Hello, Peeta." Gale choked out, quickly extricating his hand from the small girl's grasp. "It's been a long time."
Peeta's gaze flipped quickly between his daughter and his wife's former best friend. A brief flash of something clouded the man's gaze before his face settled into an expression Gale recognized, having seen it an uncountable number of times in his youth. Living with Katniss for fifteen years, Peeta had obviously picked up some of her habits. Most notably, the inscrutable expression she often wore when confronted with something unexpected. Peeta's hand came up and reflexively Gale grasped it. "It has been a long time, Gale. Welcome home."
A slight smile played about Gale's mouth. Trust Peeta to remain the gentleman even now. He was unfailingly polite, unquestionably good, and Gale had never taken the time to appreciate that fact. He did now. "I'm glad to be back. It seems the same and yet different." Peeta nodded in understanding as Gale continued. "I've wanted to come back for a long time. I just didn't know how. I didn't know what I could possibly say…" he trailed off not exactly sure how to continue. Peeta smiled somewhat reassuringly his hand idly toying with one of the small braids as the little girl eyed both her father and his visitor with bright interest.
"I think the best thing is to be honest. She respects that. You should know that better than anyone." He laughed softly. "She doesn't blame you anymore. She is actually in the same boat you are. She wants to come back but she doesn't know how. She's never been comfortable with making the first step." Peeta grinned as his eyes met those of his daughter. "She's unbelievably stubborn. I know that better than anyone. It took me a while to convince her that it was possible to live again. That it was okay to laugh. Maysilee helped with that lesson more than I did."
Gale nodded in remembrance. Katniss was stubborn, willful, and tended to react before thinking. She was also loving, loyal, and wouldn't hesitate to put herself in the line of fire to protect those closest to her. He knew that she had finally agreed to have children from a brief conversation with her mother years ago. He hadn't been able to hide his surprise. She had been abundantly clear that she never wanted children. As he met Peeta's eyes, Gale knew that his best friend was no longer the scared, prickly girl he had met in the woods. She had changed and he was looking at the one responsible for instigating that change. It was an unnerving thought. But, Gale reminded himself, he had usually tended to underestimate Peeta Mellark. He knew enough not to make that mistake now.
"Gale, I think that we should probably make the introduction formal, don't you?" Peeta grinned suddenly. "After all, you did come all this way. Besides, she is probably going to hurt herself if she keeps hopping like she is."
Gale's attention swung to the little girl and saw that she was practically skipping in place as she looked from him to her father. He could see the curiosity burning in the azure gaze. He felt something twist again in his gut. She could have been his, in another life. But that life had ceased to be a possibility years ago, cauterized in the ashes and ghosts of District 12.
Peeta saw the play of emotions on Gale's face. He correctly guessed the cause and a somewhat bittersweet smile graced his features. This moment had been dreaded and anticipated by him for far too long. It wasn't about winning, not to Peeta. If Gale had been capable of making her happy, Peeta would have stepped aside. It would have broken his heart and damaged him beyond all that the Capital had ever put him through. But he would have done it. He decided years ago, four to be exact, that he wasn't going to let that dread define him. He was going to live on his own terms. That decision solidified the moment he gazed into his daughter's beautiful blue eyes.
"Sweetie, this is your mommy's best friend in the world. His name is Gale Hawthorne. He used to live here in District 12 and helped your mommy hunt. Will you tell him hello?" Peeta smiled proudly, his hand gentle on the twined braids.
"Hello, Mr. Gale," a little hand reached up toward his and Gale's lip twitched upward. "Are you really mommy's best friend?"
Gale gently took hold of the small fingers and shook her hand briefly. He grinned at her and said," Once upon a time, I was your mommy's best friend. We hunted together every day. Since I've been gone, I think that your daddy is her best friend now." He saw Peeta shift out of the corner of his eye but kept his gaze on the little girl. "You look just like your mommy when she was a little girl."
She leaned forward and stage whispered, "I don't think Daddy is Mommy's friend. They kiss a lot. It's yucky! Friends don't kiss do they, Mr. Gale?" Gale felt a flush run up to his hairline. His horrified gaze met Peeta's amused one and he shook his head at a loss for how to answer.
Peeta laughed out loud at Gale's obvious discomfort. "Don't let her get to you, Gale. She does tend to say exactly what's on her mind, no punches pulled. Remind you of anyone?" Gale grinned back, immediately at ease. Peeta put his hands affectionately on the small shoulders, pulling her in front of him. "Formally, this is our daughter, Maysilee Gale Mellark. I'm sure that she's very happy to meet you." Gale's mouth dropped open, his eyes wide and staring.
"Maysilee Gale," He stuttered. "Gale? Did Katniss…" his voice trailed off unable to complete the thought.
"We decided together. It was my suggestion but she agreed. I'm glad you came home, Gale. I've been waiting for this for a long time." His gaze fell to the dark head in front of him. "Too long."He said almost to himself. "She should be back anytime. I know that she will want to see you."
Gale couldn't take his eyes off the little girl who bore his name. It was almost too much to take in. He couldn't process it. He was still trying to make sense of everything when Maysilee Gale let out a shriek, twisted free of her father's hands and darted across the yard. "Mommy," Maysilee squealed and curled herself around her mother's legs. Gale swung around and met the wide gray Seam eyes of his best friend.
She stood, bow in one hand, her quiver slung over one shoulder and a game bag perched on her hip. Her free hand smoothed her daughter's swinging braids. Her eyes roved his face, taking in fifteen years of changes. Her gaze met his briefly, then past his shoulder to where her husband stood watching silently. Gale glanced back at Peeta then toward Katniss . Their gazes were locked, conversation spoken in glances. He noted the second she decided to accept his presence. Peeta's small smile reinforced that everything was going to be all right.
"May, let's go in and finish up breakfast," Peeta said brightly. "Let your mother and her friend have some time to talk." May tossed Gale a grin as she raced toward her father. "Gale, you staying for breakfast?" Peeta asked as he slipped back through the door.
He met Katniss' gaze, taking in her peaceful expression and the exasperated head shake as she watched Peeta herd the excitable girl into the house. He noted the slight swell of her belly and how her hand rested comfortably there. She smiled slightly and barely inclined her head in his direction. Gale felt a weight slide off his shoulders, a weight that had been there for fifteen years. "Yeah, Peeta." He answered huskily. "Breakfast sounds good."
"Can Mr. Gale stay for a tea party later too?" He heard Maysilee ask brightly.
"Let's go easy on him the first day, May. We don't want to scare him off." Peeta replied laughing.
Gray eyes met gray eyes and laughter rang out in the early morning stillness. It was, Gale thought, good to be home.
The End
A/N I considered having this as somewhat comedic. I couldn't get it to work like that. I felt like this seemed so much more in character for them. Hopefully, you will agree. Review if you are so inclined and let me know what you think.