A/n: Ok, so this is a story about Christian and Taylor, and it contains minor elements of abuse and BDSM.

Also, a Big Thanks to my amazing Beta: Stargazer93. I couldn't have done it without you ;)

Second choice-A Story of Christian and Taylor.

Taylor hears screaming upstairs and, with a sigh, downs his glass of whiskey. Christian should've been with him instead…

Inside, Taylor knew. He knew that, once night fell and Christian was sick of his brown haired submissive, he'll come running to him. Taylor will be the one that he's fucking.

Taylor's eyes are sad and tired as he absentmindedly twirls the yellow liquor in his cup and stares hard into the distance. Taylor wonders if it was going to be the belt or cane tonight.

Upstairs, Taylor recognizes the sound of crying and, in his mind, he can imagine Christian comforting his submissive. They were girls, and it was acceptable for them to cry and hurt. But he was a man, and in society, he was taught to show no emotions, to be stoic no matter the cost. However, Taylor desperately wanted what each and every one of Christian's submissives had.

Aftercare.

Yes, that's right, Taylor wanted aftercare. He wanted to cry, and to be able to express the pain he's feeling. He wanted Christian, his master, to wrap his arms around him and gently rock him. He wanted Christian to press his soft lips against his bruises and welts and tell him everything was alright. He wanted Christian to hold him in his arms, or even play him a song.

It was stupid, really.

In his heart, Taylor knew that it was impossible. Christian didn't feel anything for him. If his submissives were his fuck toys, then Taylor was merely a piece of trash that Christian could kick around as he pleased. Christian never comforted Taylor, and of course, Taylor never asked for comfort either. Aftercare wasn't a part of their contract, and Taylor knew, he knew that he looked liked the pimp that once burned Christian, and that Christian hated him.

Taylor knew that he was Christian's second choice.

He was Christian's second choice, and his submissives were his first choice. They resembled his mother, who, although a bad mother, never harmed him. He. He resembled something much worse.

He will always be Christian's second choice. He will always be his useless, little toy. He will never get aftercare, and Christian will never care for him. He was second. Not first. Taylor needed to remember that.

Taylor wished that he could just walk away and leave the bastard. He wished that he could leave behind all of the hurt and pain and suffering. However, every time Taylor looked at the elevator door, he knew that he couldn't. All of his life, Taylor has experienced pain, and when he joined the army, the pain only intensified. War has done something to him that could never be erased. War has etched a scar so deep in him that without the constant pain and suffering, Taylor felt empty. In many ways, the physical punishments Taylor received was a way for him to mask his emotion turmoil, because, without the physical pain, all that Taylor had left were haunted memories filled with blood, tears, and war.

A knock sounds on Taylor's office door, and he gets up to answer it. He already knew who it is so he bows his head.

Christian stands before him. His grey eyes are the color of frost, and Taylor can see his feet, set about shoulder width apart.

"How was Jessica, sir?" Taylor asks, hiding the hurt in his voice by focusing on Christian's bare feet.

A small frown mars Christian's feature as he thinks of how to respond. Jessica wasn't a great sub, she had a low pain threshold, and their session left Christian filling unsatisfied.

Finally, he decides that he should answer honestly. "She doesn't have that high of a pain tolerance level. I'm afraid our session is going have to be harder than usual."

Taylor shrugs. That was ok.

It was always ok.

Christian's frown deepens. For some reason, he can't figure out why, Taylor wasn't his self today. However, Christian decides to let it go. Maybe it was just stress.

"I want you to be ready in five minutes." He says, tilting Taylor's chin up with two fingers so he could stare into his beautiful, dark brown eyes.

"Yes, sir." Taylor murmurs before quickly darting his gaze away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Taylor lays, naked, over the whipping bench in Christian's playroom. He can feel Christian moving around behind him, probably selecting a cane or a belt, before Christian lightly touches him.

"I'm going to give you sixteen with the cane, alright? Are you ok with that number?" Christian asks, not unkindly.

Taylor debates this for a second. Christian usually only gave him 12 strokes, max, but 16 was ok as well.

Like he said, it was always ok.

"Yes, sir." Taylor answers.

"Do you remember your safe words?" Christian asks. He wanted Taylor to know that it was always ok to use his safe words, no matter what, even if he knew Taylor never used them.

"Red and yellow sir."

"Good boy." Christian gently praises.

Taylor feels Christian lightly tap the tip of the cane against him, measuring his swing, before the cane comes whistling down, right across the center of his buttocks as he sucks in a sharp breath. Christian was hitting quite hard.

The second and third stroke followed.

By the sixth stroke, Taylor was gripping the edge of the bench as he bites his tongue to prevent himself from screaming.

The eighth, ninth, and tenth stroke were lower, against the sensitive skin of his thighs.

Just six more, Taylor can do six more.

Taylor grits his teeth and screws his eyes shut for the next three, but by the fifteenth stroke, he can't help the lone tear that trickled down the side of his face. He can no longer help the feeling of betrayal.

He was the second choice. He was the one that Christian didn't care about. Christian would've never given any of his submissives sixteen strokes. The maximum amount for them was usually six, maybe eight. Not sixteen.

The last stroke fell.

XXXXXXXXXX

Christian's breathing heavily, his nostrils flare, as he regains his composure and comes down from his high.

It's only until now that Christian realizes Taylor didn't move. He was still laying, quietly, over the whipping bench, welts layered over his butt.

"Taylor, baby, it's over. You did great." Christian gently says as he moves around so he can see Taylor. That's when he notices the droplets of water.

Taylor was crying. This worries Christian.

Taylor never cried. Never.

"Taylor? Baby? Are you ok?" Christian asks, rubbing the top of Taylor's arm.

Sorrowful, red rimmed eyes slowly blink up at Christian. "I'm ok." Taylor croaks, turning his head and smearing his tears so he didn't have to look at Christian. "Sorry I'm crying. I didn't mean to." He softly admits.

Christian frowns. "Tay." He uses his nickname for Taylor, hoping to make Taylor feel better. "Tay, baby, it's ok to cry. It's nothing to be ashamed about. It was meant to hurt. You did so well, baby. I'm so proud of you." Christian says.

Taylor feels Christian's now-gentle, large hand brush against his back. Christian was being nice tonight. He called him baby and rubbed his back. Was it because he felt guilty for making him cry?

Christian crouches down in front of him, gently thumbing away few of Taylor's tears. He was becoming increasingly more worried. This wasn't his Taylor. His Taylor was always strong and smiley. What happened?

"Tay, did I go too hard? Please tell me if I did, and I won't do it again." Christian begs. Taylor wasn't even talking to him, it was like he wasn't there.

Taylor looks at Christian, eyes gray and concerned, before softly smiling. "You didn't go too hard." He answers, even though that was lie.

Christian furrows his eyebrows. Something was wrong; he can feel it. Christian gently takes Taylor's hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"Ok, baby, I'm going to go get you some cream, and I'll be right back, ok? Maybe we can watch a movie or something, yeah?" Christian asks.

Taylor's eyes widen. His master wanted to watch a movie?

Christian never watched movies with him.

Christian hurries out the door, taking the steps two at a time, before tip-toeing into Jessica's room and grabbing the arnica cream and hurrying back out again.

Taylor's in the exact, same position he left him, still bent over, and Christian gently applies a layer of arnica cream over the abused area, silently cringing when he sees Taylor flinch.

Fuck, he really messed up.

Christian pulls Taylor up, and his heart scrunches up and practically dies on the spot when he hears Taylor sniff.

"Ok, baby, let's go watch a movie, yeah? What do you want to watch, huh?" Christian asks, gently leading Taylor to the couch and wrapping a blanket around him.

"Doesn't matter." Taylor mutters.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Christian frowns, and gently, very gently tugs Taylor towards him. Taylor was hurting, and he somehow neglected him.

He needed to fix this.

On TV, Game of Thrones, is playing, and Taylor leans his head against Christian who tightens his hold and presses a kiss to Taylor's hair.

Taylor realizes that he was getting the aftercare he always wanted. Christian was taking care of him and they were snuggling on the couch watching TV. Christian was actually spending time with him. Christian was spending time with him and not fucking him.

And although Taylor was still hurting, having Christian's arms around him made the pain worth it.

For the first time, Taylor felt like the first choice.

The whole time, Christian couldn't focus on the TV, and if he wasn't looking at the screen every five minutes, he was checking to see if Taylor was breathing.

Christian tries to suppress his nagging subconscious. You're such a shitty Dom. Did you, even once, consider Taylor's feelings? Just because he never asked for aftercare doesn't mean he doesn't need it. Just because he never vocalized his feelings doesn't mean he's an emotionless bastard like you. Sixteen strokes? Really? What were you thinking? Did you really have to make him cry, which he never does, to make you happy?

Christian lets out a huge sigh as he presses another kiss to Taylor's forehead. He has always assumed Taylor didn't want aftercare, assumed Taylor didn't need the comfort, assumed Taylor only wanted kinky sex and nothing else. He thought Taylor viewed him as nothing more than his boss, and his master, no strings attached. He didn't know Taylor had been hurting.

Christian thinks back to Elena, how he longed for a hug after a hard caning, and the familiar stab of guilt pinches him. That's how he's been treating Taylor.

For the longest time, Christian has been trying to deny his sexuality. He wanted to be straight and date girls. He couldn't let anybody think otherwise. What would the world say? What would his employees think? What would happen to GEH?

All of his hard work could become ground zero if he came out.

Christian couldn't risk that.

So, he put on façade; he pretended that he was straight and convinced himself that, at the very least, he was bisexual, and that he was still interested in woman. If he had submissives, then surely, he wasn't gay, right?

For an entire year, this worked perfectly fine. It worked until Taylor entered his life.

The minute Christian laid eyes on Taylor, Christian knew he had to have him.

However, even with Taylor in his life, Christian persuaded himself that Taylor wasn't interested him. He convinced himself that Taylor merely wanted a "friends with benefits" type of relationship, and in the process of trying to distance himself from Taylor, Christian treated Taylor like shit.

He felt horrible.

That night, Christian kissed Taylor before he went to bed. The kiss wasn't harsh or demanding. Instead, it was gentle and comforting. Almost reassuring.

Reassuring of what?

XXXXXXXXXX

Taylor watches Christian. He's sitting at the breakfast table, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and he's reading a newspaper, coffee cup in hand.

Taylor thinks about going to say hi. He thinks about telling him that his backside wasn't as sore as he imagined, although that was a lie. He thinks about going up and giving him a morning kiss.

Just when Taylor musters up enough courage and steps foot in the kitchen. Jessica comes skipping down. She's dressed in only Christian's dress shirt and she smiles a little, embarrassing smile at Taylor.

Taylor didn't hate Jessica. No, she was a sweet girl and she knew nothing about Christian and Taylor's relationship. Taylor was jealous of Jessica.

He was jealous of Jessica as he watches her give Christian a morning kiss and the way Christian grins. He was jealous of Jessica as Christian pulls her onto his lap and tickles her. He was jealous of Jessica as she snuggles against Christian and he gives her a sip of his coffee.

He was jealous of Jessica because she was his first choice.

Taylor was the second choice.

He was the one waiting on the sideline.

From the corner of his eyes, Christian catches Taylor's hurt look and looks down at Jessica, and then at Taylor again.

Christian knew. He knew how unfair this was to Taylor, and for that matter, Jessica. He should be devoted, monogamous to only one person, but he couldn't. He needed to cling to that little shred of hope in order to convince himself that he wasn't gay, and with Jessica in his arms, Christian could more easily lie to himself. He could say that he was still straight. He was still with a woman.

However, looking at Taylor, so hurt and small, made Christian's heart ache. Taylor was always a big, tough guy. He sported a buzz cut, and his eyes were a dark brown, almost black. Taylor usually kept to himself, and he never showed any emotion. He graciously accepted Christian's contract and over the past year, took every one of his punishments, never complaining. He asked for nothing, even if he knew he could ask Christian for anything.

Christian gives Taylor a small, tired smile. "I'm sorry." He mouths, referring to Jessica.

Taylor shrugs. It was ok.

It was always ok.

XXXXXXXXXX

Taylor was in his room, sitting on the couch, and Gail was talking to him. Taylor liked Gail, not a romantic type of like, but Gail was his friend and she was always warm and grandmotherly.

If he wasn't gay, Taylor thinks Gail and him could make a pretty good match.

"How are you?" Gail asks, squeezing Taylor's knee and gazing at him with benevolent, hazel eyes. Gail knew about Taylor and Christian's relationship, and she didn't approve. No, not because they were gay, that didn't bother her at all. What bothered her was the way Christian treated Taylor. Only to Gail, will Taylor seldom open his heart and tell her how he wished Christian cared about him.

Gail wanted to smack Christian. She knew Christian cared about Taylor. He too, often told her about Taylor. How he liked Taylor's eyes, how Taylor had his mother's name tattooed on the small of his back, how Taylor liked the show Game of Thrones. Gail knew Christian cared about Taylor, but he never showed it.

Sometimes, guys are idiots.

A knock sounds on Taylor's door, and Gail recognizes her cue to leave before quietly scurrying out the door as Christian enters.

Christian sees Taylor and gently smiles. He had something special planned. He was going to show Taylor how much he meant to him. He was going to be gentle, and sweet, and loving, everything a boyfriend should be. Last night was a wake up call to Christian. Last night, he realized how wrong he's been treating Taylor.

He was going to make it up to him.

Tonight wasn't going to be about pain. Tonight was about pleasure.

"Taylor, baby? Can you meet me in my playroom in five minutes?" Christian asks, making sure his voice was gentle and kind.

Taylor glances up, and his heart constricts. No, he can't do this. He can't continue to let Christian hurt and beat him. He needed to protect himself and safeguard his own heart.

"Red." He whispers, bowing his head.

The room is silence, the only sound Taylor can hear is his own heart thumping.

Thump…thump…thump…

Christian blinks slowly, as if someone has slapped him. The irony was bitter.

"Tay?" He tentatively asks, stepping towards Taylor. Christian was afraid, he was afraid to move, to breath. He was afraid that any sudden movement might make Taylor bolt.

"Red." Taylor whispers again as Christian places two fingers under his chin and tilts his head up.

Christian feels hot tears sting his eyes and he furiously blinks several times. What has he done? Was Taylor afraid of him? Has it gotten to that point?

There are tears in Taylor's eyes as well. "Sorry Master, I can't." Taylor croaks hoarsely, his hand slightly shaking as he feels Christian's thumb gently brush along his cheek bone, collecting the moisture from his eyes.

Christian doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what to do to make Taylor feel better. He doesn't know how to express his emotions and tell Taylor everything was alright.

So, he does the only thing he can think of.

"Do you want a beer?" he asks.

XXXXXXXXXX

Taylor's head hurts. Badly. He tries opening his eyes, but even that, he can't manage. His head is pounding and he can feel the blood pulsing through his brain. Last night memories come tumbling out like a tsunami trying to consume him.

"You don't care about me! You just care about your precious submissives!"

"What are you talking about? Taylor, baby, I care about you. You know I do!"

"Yeah? Really? Then why do you always leave me? Huh? You leave me for your submissives….but that's ok. I don't care about you either."

"Taylor, you know that's not true."

"But it is. Isn't it? I was always your second choice…everybody comes before me…I'm just like your slave…I'm not even as worthy as your fuck toy. It's ok though, it's always ok. You can kick me to the curb…I know you will… you can throw me away…Tell me, can any of your submissives bring you pleasure like I do? Who do you always come running to? Me!...This is what happens…you get sick of them and you come running to ME!"

"Taylor! That's enough! You can't drink anymore!"

"See? You're always telling me…what to do… We both know you're gay, but do you acknowledge that? No! You're too cowardly and worry too much about society taboos. I know you're worried about GEH! But guess what?! I am too! Do you think I would allow GEH to burn to the ground? Huh? Did you not know that I would destroy anyone who tried to mess with you? Huh? Do you know that? Do you?!"

Taylor groans as he rolls over. There was too much yelling and screaming going on. Why was everything so loud? How much did he drink?

Taylor tries sitting up but a large hand presses down on his shoulders. "Shhh, just rest for a while."

The voice belonged to Christian.

Taylor stifles another groan when he thinks of Christian. He doesn't even want to imagine his punishment.

After a few more minutes, Taylor finally opens his eyes, and Christian was bent over him, concern etched on his face.

Christian gives him a soft smile before handing him a tall glass of water and two Advil. "Here, take these, you'll feel better."

Taylor accepts the medicine and water with a small, grateful smile. "Thank you sir, I'll go get ready for my punishment."

Christian furrows his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

A puzzled look flashes across Taylor's face. "Aren't you going to punish me, sir?" he asks, confused.

Christian twists his mouth into a little frown as he purses his lips. "No, Taylor. I'm not. Why do you think I'm going to punish you?"

Taylor looks down. "Well, I said some things last night…"

Christian softens. "Taylor, babe, I'm not going to punish you for being honest, ok? You didn't say anything wrong."

"Yeah…but…" Taylor trails off, but before he could finish, Christian stands up and wraps him in a hug.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't know I made you feel that way. I didn't know you felt like that you were second and not important to me. I know I don't act like it, but baby, you're so important to me. I just wished I knew sooner so I didn't leave you feeling like this." Christian mumbles into Taylor's shirt.

Christian pulls Taylor towards him and gently rubs small circles on his back.

Last night, Christian's heart almost broke. Not figuratively, but literally, he felt it rip and shatter in two. The way Taylor broke down destroyed him. If he had known, he wouldn't have ever hit Taylor in the first place. If he had known, he would've wrapped Taylor in his arms and rocked him to sleep. If he had known, he would've done anything.

Christian could no longer lie to himself. He loved Taylor. It was as simple as that. He loved Taylor and although their love was a special kind, although society might not see their love as normal, he loved Taylor, and he was tired of denying this piece of truth. He loved Taylor, and that was that.

Last night, after Taylor spilled his feelings and wore his heart out on his sleeve, Christian gently carried him to bed and tucked him in. He stayed with him for an entire night and, while Taylor was asleep, sang him a song and rubbed his arm.

Taylor whimpered in his sleep. Christian never knew. He can only assume it was from nightmares. Taylor's nightmares were different from Christian's. Christian usually thrashed and kicked and screamed, but Taylor's were just soft, small whimpers, as if a hurt, little puppy. And if it was the last thing he did, Christian would make sure Taylor never had another nightmare, or at the very least, he wanted Taylor to know, from now on, he will be there to catch each and every one of Taylor's bad dream...

Christian tightens his hold on Taylor. "Do you forgive me?" He whispers, scared to hear the answer.

Taylor's lips involuntarily twitch up. Christian was so adorable with his wide, gray eyes and messy copper hair. Gingerly, Taylor reaches up and runs his hand down the side of Christian's face. "You know I could never say no to you." He whispers back as Christian grins, hugging him even tighter if such a thing were possible.

"I swear. I'm going to make everything up to you." Christian mumbles again as Taylor softly smiles.

Perhaps, Christian did love him.

Taylor's watch beeps, signaling it was 9 in the morning and his eyes shoot opens.

"What is it?" Christian asks, eyes wide and mirroring Taylor's.

"Jessica." Taylor breaths. "It's Monday morning. I was suppose to take her home." Taylor says but becomes confused when Christian chuckles, the deep sound reverberating through his lungs.

"Taylor." Christian says, pulling Taylor towards him and smiling a wide, I-love-you smile. "Taylor, Jessica's not here." Christian explains. "I already took her home, and today, I'm making a public announcement about my relationship with you."

Taylor's eyes widen. Could he mean...

Christian smiles another bedazzling smile as his eyes crease and sparkle in the morning sun. "Yes babe, I'm coming out."

Epilogue

"Daddy!" Sophie screams as she jumps into Christian's arms, causing him to drop his brief case as he catches her.

"Hi, darling girl, I missed you." Christian says, planting a kiss on Sophie's forehead as she beams from face to face.

"Daddy, guess what Papa got me today?" She cheers as Christian slants an eyebrow at Taylor who's smirking in the corner.

"What did Papa do?" Christian asks, deciding to amuse both his daughter and Taylor.

"Papa let me eat a whole a chocolate bar." Sophie exclaims as Christian shoots Taylor a disapproving look. Taylor only shrugs and laughs.

"And how are you going to eat dinner with a whole chocolate bar in your tummy?" Christian asks Sophie, rubbing her belly button as she giggles.

"Don't worry, Daddy, I have lots of room in here." Sophie declares, patting her stomach and Christian can't help but laugh.

"Ok, sweetie." He says, setting her down. "I'm going to go say hi to Papa now, ok?"

Taylor's smirk widens when Christian saunters over and pulls him into a deep and harsh kiss. "What am I going to do with you?" He playfully growls in Taylor's ear once Sophie's out of ear shot.

Taylor grins against Christian's lips. "I don't know, whatever sir pleases." He whispers as Christian hardens.

"Later." He murmurs.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, when Christian comes home, he immediately notices something's wrong. Sophie's nowhere to be seen and Taylor comes rushing down the step, looking quite worried himself.

"What happened Taylor?" Christian immediately demands.

"Sophie's been made fun at school."

"Why?" Christian asks, confused, and Taylor gives him a look.

"Oh." Christian mutters, suddenly understanding and hurrying up the stairs with Taylor.

He gently knocks on Sophie's pink princess door before pushing it open, and his heart breaks when he sees their little baby girl curled up on her bed, crying. Big, crocodile tears roll down her cheeks.

"Hi, baby." He says, sitting down on the bed and rubbing Sophie's back. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asks softly.

Sophie sniffs as she rubs her eyes and Taylor gets her a tissue. "Kids at school says I'm bad." She cries, her little shoulders shaking.

Christian tugs her onto his lap, pressing multiple kisses along her hairline. "Baby, you're not bad. Why would they say that?" He asks despite already knowing the answer.

Sophie sniffs again. "Because…because I have a Daddy and Papa instead of a Daddy and a Mommy." She wails, almost in hysterics.

"I…I…I…don't want a mommy…I love you and Papa…why…why is not…having a mommy wrong…?" She hiccups between sobs and Taylor comes to sit next to her, sandwiching her between Christian and him.

"Sophie, baby." He starts tracing soothing circles on her back. "Sometimes people are mean to other people because they're different, but honey, it's ok to be different. It's ok to love who you want to love and be who you want to be." Taylor comforts.

Christian nods in agreement. "Yes baby, Papa's right. Do you think it's wrong for Papa to love Daddy, and Daddy to love Papa?" He asks his daughter as Sophie adamantly shakes her head, causing both Christian and Taylor to grin.

"You see." Christian continues. "I had a hard time accepting that I loved your Papa, and for a while, we were both unhappy, but later I realized, you can't let other people influence you. If you don't think it's wrong, and we're not hurting anybody by being who we are, then there's nothing bad about that, ok?"

Sophie nods. She thinks she was beginning to understand.

Taylor helps her crawl under the covers and tucks her in before kissing her forehead. "Sleep, baby. Daddy and I both love you tons and tons, alright?"

In the darkening room, Sophie gives an incoherent, little nod as she drifts to sleep.

Looking at his daughter and Taylor sitting beside her, Christian realized how lucky he was. The past eight years certainly haven't been easy, but it was worth it. When he first came out, GEH did encounter a bit of hardship and lost several of its companies, but in the end, with Taylor's help, it only became stronger. And they also adopted a baby who they named Sophie. Sophie was both Christian and Taylor's pride and treasure, and Christian knew, there was nothing they wouldn't do for each other or her.

Christian smiles at Taylor, thinking of how he almost lost the best thing that happened to him, before pulling him into a sweet and tender kiss.