"The final act through to judge's houses is…" I shut my eyes, I knew it wouldn't be my name but I couldn't help but hope. I'd completely mucked up my performance and there was no chance I'd get through.
I heard the girl scream when her name was called, she was so happy… others like me, not so lucky. I was gutted, it was pretty much my only chance of making it in the music industry and I completely ruined it. I walked off the stage, everything around me seemed like it had stopped. My mind just went blank, that's it… my X Factor experience was over.
I saw other disappointed acts crying and calling friends and families to tell them they hadn't made it, for some it was the end of the world. For me, I didn't know what it was. I didn't feel anything.
"If I read your name out please follow me and make your way on to the stage as the judges want to talk to you all again," one of the producers had the group of us who weren't as lucky to make it all gathered round and started shouting names out. "Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Liam Payne.." Oh great, all boys… of course they wouldn't choose girls. Girls never win, apart from the exception of Alexandra Burke and Leona Lewis of course.
"Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik." I looked over to them, I had spoken to Louis briefly and he seemed nice enough. Zayn and I had been hanging out throughout boot camp, I'd gotten to know him really well, he was sort of like a big brother. He must've thought I was like an annoying little sister because I had been making fun of his dancing. They saw me and I mouthed "good luck" to them.
I began walking away when someone tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around and looked at the girl, "Hey… aren't you Helen?" I nodded. "I'm Katie, did you not hear - our names just got called." I frowned, confused. I swear my name did not get called. "Are you sure? I didn't hear it." She laughed and nodded "Yes, I'm sure. Come on." I didn't want to go without checking first so I looked for one of the producers. This place was massive, I didn't know where I was going… CRASH! "Oh shit!" I looked at the guy, he was sort of chubby and had headphones with a mic attached… "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I cringed. "Yeah, watch where you're going next time" he rolled his eyes, ah! It was one of the producers. "Excuse me, can you please tell me if my name was read out again… One of the girls told me it was." He stared at me for a second, "Name, kid?" "Helen MacKenzie," I pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear while he pulled a piece of folded up paper from his pocket and read it… "You're in luck." I grinned, "Thanks!" Ok, so maybe I should've just trusted Katie, but I didn't know her, what if she was just trying to get me into trouble? I ran to the stage like it was a life or death situation.
When I got in, it was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. All eyes were on me. "I'm so so sorry, I didn't hear my name being read out!" I could hear giggles from some of the girls on the stage. Embarrassed, I went and stood next to the other girls, the boys were on the right and we were on the left.
"Now I know you all are probably wondering why you're here, right?" Simon spoke, we all nodded, "Well, you all were too good to let go of… so we're giving you a lifeline. You can choose to accept this and stay on in the competition or decline and leave the dream behind." I bit my lip and looked around me; I knew what was coming next. "If you want, you boys can become a group and so can you girls." Us girls all looked at eachother and without a thought we all nodded in unison, beaming. I had spoken to them all before and they all seemed lovely, I knew we'd get on. We all ran off the stage with the boys cheering, it was the best feeling ever. Being told no and then getting a yes… it was amazing!
"I'm serious, it's not like we can go to judges houses without getting to know eachother and rehearsing!" I laughed. All of us girls had been sitting in a café deciding what we'd do before judges houses. We'd also been chatting about when we were younger, like the time I had broken my arm by falling off a wall, Katie had given me the name "Humpty Dumpty" and it seemed to have stuck. Caitlin told us about how her and her friend used to play with her mum's crutches and go into school with them so they didn't have to do P.E. The girls were all super talented and so pretty, I felt so insecure around them but none of them were vain and we all seemed to get on so well, they had brilliant banter.
I had told them that they could come and stay at my house for a while before judge's houses. "Are you absolutely sure, we don't want to just land on your doorstep," Gillian piped in, bless her she was so polite and quiet. I could tell she was going to be the hardest one to get a word out of! "I'm fine with it and so are my parents, they want us to do the best we can… the boys are doing the same, Zayn told me. They're all going to Harry's for a while." "Well thank you so much Helen, that's so kind of you" Gillian grinned. "Yeah thanks," Katie smiled and the rest of the girls joined in. Caitlin seemed sort of worried and when we were all walking out of the café, I walked beside her. "Hey… are you alright?" She nodded, "Its just, I've never stayed away from home before without any family." We were all still young, it was so new to us. "It's okay, you'll be fine. Think of it as a practice for judges houses," I laughed. She smiled and gave me a quick hug. "Thanks, see you later!"
Damn, it was pretty cold outside. I looked around, it was getting dark too. I zipped up my jacket and waited for a taxi to come when I heard a familiar voice. "Hey Helen, need a lift?" I turned round and grinned. "Alright then, thank you!" I bit my lip and followed him to his car.