1. Revelations

I found myself standing in the meadow…OUR meadow. I looked around, calling HIS name. I heard a low growl coming from the trees. I followed the sound and the growling became louder. All of a sudden, I saw a pair of blood red eyes…watching me, stalking me, like prey. I called out HIS name again. And the red eyes squinted slightly. Everything became dark as the creature began to emerge from the trees.

"Edward? Oh, Edward no." I pleaded. I felt my heart begin to shatter into a thousand pieces.

"But Bella…you smell fantastic. And I'm so thirsty." He smiled the half smile that I used to love. Now it had a look of smugness. It was as if he was saying, "You can't win, Bella…so just endure it."

He was behind me at lightning speed, and gently grabbed my arm. Although I knew this was the end of my life, I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was HIM. He was my everything, and if my life had to end this way, so be it. I felt his cold lips press to my neck, and he inhaled. Then seething pain…

I awoke with a start, screaming bloody murder. I turned on the light and put my head in my hands. Tears fell and I struggled to catch my breath. This was the fifth time I've had this dream, but in the dream, he's never bitten me. I wiped my eyes and got out of bed to wash my face. I don't know how long I can endure without going insane. He was gone, he didn't want me anymore, and he was never coming back. No matter how many times I've told myself this, a little part of me doesn't want to believe it. That little part believes that, perhaps, he did still love me. I grabbed my phone and dialed my best friend, Jake's, number. After a few rings, a tired voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Jake?"

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"I've had the dream again….can you please come over?"

"Sure, sure. I'll be there in a few."

"Thanks."

I hung up and brought my knees to my chest. Jake and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. I've never had a problem relying on him. He had always been there for me, during the good and bad times. When Ed-I mean-That Boy left, I was heartbroken. I had abandoned all of my friends and never went out. Jake was the only thing keeping me from going insane with sorrow. My thoughts were interrupted when there was a soft knock on my window. Jake, who was sitting on the tree outside my window, gave me a small smile. I smiled a little back, and opened the window. He climbed through and quickly pulled me into a hug. Although very strong, and large for his age, Jake was always gentle with me. The heat radiating off of his body added to the comfort. I inhaled and coughed slightly, making a face.

"Jake, you smell!" I lightly laughed.

"Do I?" He lifted up his arm to smell himself, and the full force of his stench hit me right in the face.

"Oh God, Jake!" I held my nose and ran to my closet, after some rummaging around; I tossed him a towel and a washcloth.

"You know where the shower is…" I said, and then smiled so he knew I wasn't trying to be mean. He tossed the towel and washcloth in the chair on the far side of my room, and then picked me up, tossing me over his shoulder.

"Don't act like you don't love it, bells! Smell the scent of a man!" He laughed freely and I playfully hit his back.

"Put me down, little boy."

"Oh, I'm a little boy, huh?" He grinned and started spinning around.

"No, no Jake, okay, okay I'm sorry!" I stopped struggling and he put me down, grinning from ear to ear.

"Now go shower." I said, handing him his towel again. He sighed and did as he was told.

Since Jacob was here so often, he had a bag in the corner full of clean clothes. Even though he hardly ever wears shirts, he always has to keep a few here. One day, when Charlie came to check on me in the middle of the night, he caught Jacob walking out of my room shirtless. Charlie was furious, so we have to be more careful…not that I look at Jake like that. I mean he was really handsome and he protects me. Not to say that Ed…HE didn't care about me, but he always treated me like a baby. Always taking things away, and telling me something was too dangerous. Maybe him being gone wasn't entirely bad…who am I kidding? It's horrible. My arms crossed over my chest, trying to cover the hole that widens in my heart everytime I think of him. I felt sick to my stomach, and I sat down trying to breathe. The room started to spin and I closed my eyes. Is this what withdrawal from a drug feels like? I gulped and took a deep breath. It hurt too much to even think of him. I started to think of something else. I started to think of Charlie and how he must feel. I instantly felt bad for bringing all my depression home and dumping it all on him. He didn't deserve to be unhappy just because I was…

"I can't do that to him anymore…" I sighed to myself and glanced at my fingers. They were still a bit scarred from tearing the radio out of my truck. Although it happened months ago, it feels as though a fog has been lifted and all my senses seemed sharper. As I sat thinking to myself, I came to the conclusion that there are two options: sit here and wait for HIS possible (yet highly unlikely) return, or move on with life as he had wanted me to. As painful as it sounds, letting him go is possibly what's best. He had once told me that he had no life after me…and like a fool I believed him. The more I thought to myself, the angrier I became. I felt my face flush red and I felt the corners of my mouth fall dramatically. So everything was a lie, it seems. I suppressed a sob and dropped my head into my hands.

"Bella don't cry." I jumped at Jacob's voice. As usual he was shirtless but he wore knee-length denim shorts. I looked up and felt water cool on my hands…I didn't realize I had started to tear up. He sat next to me and wrapped a heavy warm arm around my shoulder. I curled up next to him and a small smile spread across my lips.

"Bella, I will always be here for you, no matter what. Don't you forget that, ok?"

When I didn't say anything he lifted my face up to his and I looked him in the eyes. They were the deepest brown color, far darker than I was used to with…..Edward. I gulped at his name in my mind and I nodded at Jacob's words.

"Yes." I whispered simply.

I pressed my cheek to Jake's chest and heard the seemingly unfamiliar sound of a heartbeat. It made me appreciate him being around and it made me remember what I'd missed for so long: warmth, the feeling of being loved, and comfort. We sat in silence for a while.

"Hey Bella, I was thinking…" Jacob began smiling softly and playfully. That was the Jacob smile that I had missed so much, "we should go for a drive. I need some fun…you in?" These days, I've seen nothing but the faces of Sam Uley, the Alpha of the wolf pack. When he was with Sam, Jake seemed to always be gloomy; either that or angry. He did whatever Sam told him to do, and constantly referred to…the Cullens- I cringed- as bloodsuckers or leeches. While he was here, he had a glimmer in his eye that always made me smile.

"Sure Jake, where are we headed to?" I asked enthusiastically despite my opposing thoughts.

"You're just gonna have to wait until tomorrow, Bella." He grinned and lay back on my bed, resting his head on his hands behind him.

2. Anticipation

It was a cool April evening when Jacob and I left for our weekend trip. I convinced Charlie that we would be safe out there on our own. I comforted him by letting know all of the nearest gas stations, police stations, and rest stops. I sort of told half-truths because I wasn't all too sure where we were going. Little to Charlie's knowledge, I had a werewolf with me, and I was positive Jacob wouldn't let anything happen to me. As I backed out of my driveway in my handy, yet decrepit, truck, I thought of where Jacob would be taking me. I was driving to La Push to meet him, because he was against taking my car to where he wanted to go. He felt that it wouldn't survive the distance. That didn't narrow out much, due to the fact that my truck could barely survive the ride to Port Angeles. When my noisy motor announced my arrival to La Push, Jake sauntered out of his small house-which looked much too small to hold a person his size-carrying a bag that looked about as large as he did. His smooth russet skin crinkled at the corners of his eyes which had a youthful twinkle in them. I couldn't help but smile just as wide, which felt completely odd to my face. I hadn't smiled in so long that it felt almost unnatural. I grabbed my travel bag and climbed out of my car, meeting Jacob, and closing the door behind me.

"Hey." He simply greeted, lowering his bag to the floor and pulling me into a tight hug. He towered over my comparatively small body, and completely covered mine with his own. I gasped for breath,

"I can't breathe, Jake."

He chuckled and let me go a bit. I could tell that he wasn't going to let me go so easily.

"Are we ever gonna leave, Jake?" I teased.

He pressed his face into my hair and inhaled deeply. I twisted myself out of his arms semi-playfully and he smiled again.

"Right, we should get going now…"

"Yea…" I smiled back, despite the awkward moment that had just passed.

He respectfully took my bag from me and put it into the backseat of his newly finished Rabbit. As he opened the door for me, and I climbed in, I immediately thought of when….Edward….and I 1st started dating, and I wouldn't let him open the door for me…my womanly pride I suppose. He definitely took that with him too.

"Bella, wake up." A soft voice whispered in my ear, and the hot breath on my skin woke me up.

"Hmm?" I mumbled incoherently, trying to adjust my eyes to the new sunlight. I looked up at the source of the warmth. I realized I was resting my head on Jacobs shoulder and that we were no longer driving.

"We're here." He grinned, all of his white teeth gleaming in contrast to his russet skin. I sat up and stretched a bit.

"Where's here?"

In response to my question, he rolled down the window and I instantly heard the crashing of waves. I was more alert as I realized where we were. The sky was a brilliant royal blue with a few puffy clouds in the sky. A warm breeze blew through the open window, however in contrast with Jacob's warm skin, it felt a bit cooler.

"Holy crow, where are we Jake?"

He smiled wider and opened his car door to get out. I did the same and walked around the car to meet him. I raised my face to the sun and took in its warmth. I felt him instinctively grab my hand, and per the usual I didn't pull it away. I don't remember the last time I'd been in weather like this. It hasn't been for a while…a distant memory. Renée would often take me to the beach on my last day of school. The last time I'd been to the beach-just her and I- was right before her marriage to Phil. Technically, I'd been to the beach in La Push, but it wasn't exactly the same in my mind. When I thought of a beach, I thought of warm sand, bright sunshine, tropical trees and refreshing ocean spray. When I opened my eyes and looked to my side, Jacob was doing the same, taking in the sun. Looking around, I was reminded of all those past visits to the beaches in Arizona and some in California. As I thought more about it, we probably were in California.

After a long moment of silence, I inhaled the fresh beach air.

"It's beautiful Jake…really. I can't believe you thought to take me here." I was deeply touched. I felt a mixture of awe and gratitude. The beach was the last place I would have guessed. I figured we'd go on some type of camping trip.

"I've been here a few times, before I met you of course." He looked out onto the water, thinking, and his eyes were unfocused as if remembering something.

"The 1st time I came here was with my mom and dad. I was just a kid, probably 7 or 8, when I came here for the 1st time. My mom took me over there to those rocks," he pointed to a group of large dark rocks, rounded on one side by erosion while the other side jutted out at a sharp angle. It looked similar to a sideways teardrop. Jacob continued, "I remember she and I used to go looking for shells and skipping stones. She taught me how to skip them, you know." He looked at me and the love for his mother was present in his eyes, gleaming in a mixture of joy and sadness. He'd never talked about his mother before, and I sat down in the sand looking up at him as he went on. He sat down next to me and held my hand, playing with my fingers while deep in thought.

"And with the shells…I always used to carve shapes into the shells. My dad taught me that. Before, when my dad could walk, he and I would always race to see who could swim to this sandbar in the middle, and back the fastest. He always won because he had such strong arms and legs, but sometimes he'd slow up just enough to let me pass.

"Everything was so much better back then." He paused to look down at my fingers, and I waited patiently for him to continue.

"When my mom died, my dad didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I was afraid to leave him alone so I never went anywhere either. When I was about 14, I met this girl at school. Her name was Lydia." The frown that I realized was on his face formed into a light smile. I knew that Jacob was fond of someone before me, but it was hard to imagine. I tried to imagine the girl that he admired long before me. What did she look like? Was she older? Did she still live on the Rez?

"Lydia was a year older, already in High School, but she seemed to like me too. She was so beautiful…"I twitched a bit and I wasn't sure if he'd noticed. Was I feeling jealousy? "Eventually we started dating. A few months into our relationship, I took her to this beach. I remember her deep brown hair blowing in the breeze as she sat next to me in the water. And her smile would take my breath away. She had a dimple in her chin and curious eyes." I hadn't heard Jacob speak about a girl this way. Adoration dripped from every word he spoke.

"Whatever happened to her?" I asked. My voice sounded odd to me after not speaking for so long.

"Well…it was on this beach that I told her my true feelings. I figured, 'why not take her to the place where love was the most prominent in my life'? As it turns out, the day I decided to tell her my true feelings was the same day she decided to tell me about her true feelings for someone else. That and about the fact that she was leaving to move to the southwest." He frowned and my heart broke for him. I felt the intense need to pull him close. I reached out for him and before I could hesitate, I was curled up in his arms. Despite his changes, he still was the same Jacob I knew when I 1st moved here…vulnerable, human…MY Jacob. He pressed his cheek to the top of my head and inhaled deeply. I felt his cheeks rise up and I knew he was smiling.

"And then," he continued, "you came back, into my life…like a tidal wave. I mean when I saw you last, you know before that (I nodded in understanding), you were-well we were just kids. And I see you now…" He brushed my cheek gently with his warm hand and I looked up at him. He looked back into my eyes and they danced, in thought. I looked away, overwhelmed with feeling. This was already turning into a summer I knew I'd never forget. How long has it been since…he…left? He left in September and it was currently June. Nine months? How much has he missed? I've graduated; I've been accepted to Northwestern University due to my good grades. I wondered how different everything would be had he stayed. Would I be leaving Washington? Would I be on speaking terms with Jacob? Would I be aware of these newfound feelings? And that's when it hit me. It hit me like a wrecking ball.

"Jacob…"

"Yea, Bella?"

"When I was with…" I cringed, "Edward…"it was my 1st time saying his name out loud and it hurt a bit, "I-I mean-was I-was he controlling towards me-I mean was he manipulative?"

He bit the corner of his mouth, and I couldn't tell if he was trying to hold in laughter or if he was thinking. The twitch at the corners of his mouth gave him away and I pouted, furrowing my eyebrows. I tried to squirm out of his arms but he held me closer, chuckling deeply.

"Are you sure I'm the right person to ask?" He fought a smile, and I suddenly felt silly for asking him.

"I always thought he was trying to protect me-um- trying to keep me from hurting myself. I am super clumsy, always getting in trouble, and causing trouble for everyone. No wonder he…left." I choked on the last word and I tried not to cry. I cleared my throat and the tears seemed to evaporate from my eyes. I heard a growl deep in Jacob's chest, and he adjusted my body so that we were sitting face to face. He rested his hands on my arms and looked me directly in my face. His face seemed stoic but his eyes gave way to a hint of anger.

"Isabella Swan, don't you ever say that about yourself. I won't let you. Don't you see what he's done to you? He's broken you down and taken your spirit."

"He didn't," I defended him; however, I wasn't so sure why I was doing it, "he was trying to protect me, he was saying that he didn't want to hurt me."

The entire time, Jacob was shaking his head angrily.

"Psh, is that what that filthy bloodsucker told you? I can't stand to see you this way: so…dead. You're like a ghost of your former self. It seems like he was just trying to make a clean cut! He didn't, once, think about how this would affect you in the long run.

"Bella, what he did to you is unforgivable."

I looked down feeling a sense of defeat. He was right. I couldn't even cry. I felt empty.

"You're probably right." I murmured.

"Bells," I looked up and he placed both of his large hands on my face gently, "I hate seeing you hurt…"

I frowned and gently pulled his hands off of my face.

"I'm gonna go for a swim." He grumbled and jumped to his feet gracefully. He jogged to the car t0 get his trunks as I sat in the sand, glowering at the water.

3. Intuition

The ride to the cabin where we were staying was a quiet one. The tension was strong, and I wanted nothing more than to just turn on the radio or something. Music wasn't my favorite thing at the moment, however. I kept my face away from Jacob, and out the window, watching the trees pass. I felt Jacob's finger trace patterns on the back of my hand and I moved my hand away. He sighed in frustration and put both of his hands on the steering wheel.

"You're gonna have to talk to me sometime."

"I don't have to do anything, Jacob Black."

He chuckled and grinned at the windshield.

"You're such a stubborn chick sometimes."

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm glad you find amusement in my irritation."

I wasn't so sure if I was more irritated at him or at myself. I asked a question and Jacob answered. No matter how blunt he put it, he was looking out for me. After staring outside for a while I turned to look at him.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?"

I was being so stupid; I should've known you were right. What I mean is, I understand what you're trying to do and in all honesty…

"I'm sorry" was all I could spit out.

He smiled wider.

"I forgive you, honey." He chuckled freely.

"You know you can't stay mad at me, beautiful." He added, smugly.

"Sure, sure." I teased grinning back at him.

He stuck his tongue out at me immaturely, and then his face fell quickly. He pressed down on the brakes and we stopped short in the empty road. He looked around frantically and gripped onto the steering wheel, almost breaking it. He growled.

"Damned leeches." He snarled under his breath and my heart stuttered.

"Vampire…here? But how?"

By this time, the whole car was shaking with Jacob's tremors. I closed my eyes and thought for a second, keeping calm. I pulled Jacob's face to mine, holding it in my hands. His eyes were dark and angry, and the face of the wolf clan was ever present. His lips were pulled into a deep sneer and his eyebrows were tilted forward in anger.

"Jake, Jake look at me. Relax. I want you to calm down."

The tremors decreased but never stopped. I looked him deep in the eyes and traced my fingers under his eyes. He breathed in deeply, and blew his hot breath onto my face.

"I can smell it." He spoke through his teeth as if trying not to breathe…it reminded me of-I wouldn't dare think about it.

"The smell is so strong it burns my nose." He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Edward

I couldn't stay away from her anymore. The time I spent in Rio, thinking, made me realize how truly pathetic I was without her. When I finally made up my mind to go back, I got a call from Alice, as I had expected. What she mentioned, however, is what I didn't expect.

"Good evening, Alice." I calmly greeted.

"Edward, are you sure you want to go back?" Her high voice was full of doubt, and I felt that she was keeping something from me.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Um…" She hesitated, and I wasn't sure if she was trying to decide how to tell me, or decide if she was going to tell me. I waited patiently.

"Edward, I've seen Bella's future disappear." If I had a heart, I think it would have stopped beating at that very moment.

"What do you mean, Alice?" I said through clenched teeth, hoping my voice wouldn't quiver from pain.

"Edward, I-I don't think she's dead if that's what you're thinking…" She paused, thinking that I would respond and when I didn't she continued.

"I don't know where she is. I can't see Charlie's future either."

I had an idea of what was going on, but I hoped with every fiber of my being that I was wrong.

"I have to go back, something's not right." I finally said after what seemed like minutes of silence.

"I'm going to be meeting you in Forks, at the house."

She hung up and I stared out at the city outside my balcony. I knew I shouldn't have left her.

The flight to Forks from California was a difficult one. Although it only took a few hours, I was anxious to see Bella again…

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