Read this or don't read my story!

Warning: If I feel like writing it, I will. If you don't like it, don't read.

If you are not 18 please don't read, I am almost absolutely positive that at some point there will be explicitly adult material, so don't get me in trouble.

To all the dumb asses who read shit they don't like for the purpose of flaming others: Notice

I did nothing to force you to read

I warned you before you read

It's rated M for a reason

You can stop reading at any time

You're a useless bother that needs to get a life

For the rest of you: I don't know what I want out of this series yet other than that I want the name theme to revolve around Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. I'm sorry if any of my idea's sound like someone else's since the series and these characters are so hot it is impossible to be completely and utterly original (if I was then I would have to plagiarize someone's story anyway to make sure everything was the complete opposite as their's) I swear it's not on purpose.

I haven't watched all the Inuyasha episodes and I haven't read the manga (only the ending and random tidbits); nor do I speak Japanese (yet *evil smile*). I try to research everything before I write about it but even if I was an expert (and true experts don't actually exist by the way) or a English professor there are bound to be mistakes, for that I apologize sincerely, but there is no avoiding that. I also apologize in advance for any Kagome/Kikyo bashing that may or may not occur as well as some most likely inevitable OOCness and lemon that may occur at any given point (I really hate OOC myself so I will do my very best not to) [again: no like = no read]

Enjoy; review or don't to your choosing. WARNING: don't tell me an idea you don't want used! My subconscious obeys no one! I would say I would love to hear what you have to say, but from people, like afore mentioned flamers, I really don't want to hear from. Don't let that discourage you, (seriously, what I think shouldn't matter to you anyway) most of you I'm sure I'd love to hear from, and please don't get offended if I don't write back (I'm incredibly lazy).

obvious: I do not own Inuyasha

What InuYasha Doesn't Remember

He watched the boy, as had he always watched the boy. Careful never to give himself away. The boy had his pride, as did all of the noble Inu clan; he would not cake kindly to knowing how monitored his every moment was. The boy had chosen his path. When his mortal mother had died, Sesshomaru had expected to take in his half-bread brother and raise him as loyal retainer, but the boy had had the pride that set him apart from other inu-bastards and proclaimed him a true son of the Inu clan. True to his father's wishes, as well as ancient tradition, he had allowed the head strong child to make his own way in the world and prove himself a power in his own right.

The boy probably never remembered the incident; he probably thought himself abandoned from the moment of Izayoi's death. It was unlikely that the hanyou understood, even if he had remembered the incident, that he choose to be alone. Nor would the prideful, head strong, youngest son of the late Inudaiyōkai's known children have ever guessed that he had never truly been alone. Despite all the multifarious times Sesshomaru had given himself away, never had the half-breed, nor any of the various companions he happened to be retaining at the time, ever noticed how conveniently placed his, or that of his retainers, appearances happened to be. Not once had the boy questioned how his aloof brother knew so much about various aspects of his life, or how uncanny his and his companions' luck happened to be. A simple, enfeebled excuse was all that he needed to divert all of the little hanyou's suspensions from nearing the truth. It was not his father's word that made him keep such a close surveillance on his half-brother, nor was there any such ordainment written the family ledgers. No, this compulsion belonged to this Sesshomaru and this Sesshomaru alone loath as he was to admit it, even to himself. That one day, that day alone out of all in his existence, had he openly held his disgusting, half-breed brother in love. Although the young, ungrateful pup would never remember the occasion, the feel of the heart broken, tender, young body cuddled in his arms would haunt the young, noble Inudaiyokai for the rest of his life.

memory from the day of princess Izayoi's death

He had been watching the young hanyou for some time. Loyal to his father's wishes, occasionally, he had checked on the pup from the shadows; assuring himself of the young half-inu's healthy development. It had not really occurred to him to check on the development of the pup's human mother other than to arrange and pay for their shelter, provisions, and safe-keeping within the local mansion where he had found the human woman after she fled from her castle with her newborn. Foolishly, he had forgotten to account for her quick passing mortal life in comparison to the hanyou's apparently yokai inherited longevity, and even worse, his yokai paced development. And so, the traitorous human whore had fallen to some mortal frailty or another and was soon confined to her room. By the time he had come again to check on his sibling the bitch had already been hidden away in her quarters, and with no desire to enter the mingle of humans on the off chance of understanding what mortal impairment would mercifully dispatch the disgusting creature from the earth, he never knew exactly what she had died of.

The boy, and the boy alone, held his attention now. The pup was far too young, too innocent! His shinning amber eyes held not knowledge of how to protect one's self or those various depravities that roamed every conner of the earth. Simply looking at the pup anyone could see an overwhelming torrent of emotions brimming up from a never ending void inside the child; emotions whose very intensity Sesshomaru simply could not understand, and which he secretly envied. Despite the harsh ostracisation the mother and child had suffered at the hands of the humans around them, the toddler had yet to suffer true persecution or torment. Such was the life of those in the class of the much despised hanyou, and without a protector, or even with one, soon it was inevitable that he would meet with true horrors. With an inward sigh, Sesshomaru resigned himself to obtaining another bothersome retainer, and continued to watch the proceedings. After a previous incident wherein the pathetic monkeys who inhabited the mansion had thought that they were free to due as they pleased with the mother and child after they had received payment and the noble inuyokai had left, the entire town was very careful to make sure no fault could be found in what duties they owed the distant relatives to the new Lord of the East. It was due to this incident, and the humans' fear of the ominous demon lord whose interest the whore and her abomination held that they went as far as to hold a funeral for the deceased woman.

And so it was that the princess and lover to the Mighty Inu General finally passed from this world. Sesshomaru watched the toddler's horrified incomprehensive face as the mean people who picked on him burned his mother and her few belongings until their were nothing but ashes left. At this point, the villagers, townsmen, and nobles, who had been whispering complaints throughout the arduous ceremony while each turned periodically to glare at the mourning dog-boy who dared to walk among them even if cast in his own expatriated bubble, fell silent as they came to notice the sudden appearance of the inuyokai whom stood as if he had been behind their oblivious backs for hours, which, in a way, he had, albeit not out in the open. The smell of fear and their nervous, incessant twitching was beginning to annoy him beyond belief, when he noted that the teary toddler had yet to notice his presence, so caught up was he in his sorrow. This will not do; such a weak being is unlikely to survive as long as a century or two, even with MY protection! What was father thinking to burden me with such an impediment? He mentally sighed, again, while retaining his perfectly stoic exposition.

"Leave us," he ordered the mortals, confident in their compliance, and, indeed, soon he was left alone with the child. The youngster had noticed him at some point and had even made an attempt at hiding his lament. Good, Sesshomaru noticed in approval while noting the unmistakable tell-tail signs of heavy bawling. The puffy red eyes glared at him and a small chin jutted out past tear swollen cheeks.

A transparent and feeble arrogance filled the small chest as he tried to hold himself with dignity before the haughty figure he faced. The boy's wish to break down and wail of the lose of his mother could be easily read, and Sesshomaru secretly found it amusing that the creature was still capable of standing. The boy must be infinitely naive to allow others to so easily read his thoughts and emotions.

He knelt before the tiny figure and looked it strait in those hypnotic, honey amber orbs. "Cry and be done with it," he ordered of the child, and watched as the toddler proceeded to do just that. Some long forgotten emotion swelled weakly within his abandoned heart until it unexpectedly overwhelmed him. Giving in to the alien reasoning he removed his cuirass, picked up the weeping babe and cradled him in his arms as he cried. (sorry about the unspecified pronouns) Another strange feeling became interposed with the first as tiny fists clutched his kimono, small creeks ran from puffy lids hidden in the cloth dampening little spots on his chest as huge sobs shook the petite body. His eyes, and, unnoticed, his heart as well, softened as he looked on the frail frame so guilelessly grasping at him for comfort.

Some time later the near infant had cried himself out and both had composed themselves. Sesshomaru had led the boy away from the grave sight and had begun the trek that would eventually bring them to the Inu clan castle. Eventually, as he recovered from his trauma the child became extremely animated in voice and body, alternately divulging his every secret to the idol who lead him and running around in some sort of fantastical play that once again secretly amused the supposably apathetic high yokai lord.

Eventually, they made camp and Sesshomaru killed a squirrel for the child and ordered him to eat.

"You are at a cross roads in your life," he began as the civilly raised hanyou worried over how to eat the raw meat with no utensils or other implements he was used to. "At this time you have the option of becoming my retainer," the impudent child interrupted him to ask what that word meant. After explaining and firmly commanding the runt not to interrupt again, he continued, "You can also choose to go off on your own and at such a time as you have acclaimed presage and power in your own right," the boy interrupted again to ask what that meant. A good hit on the head and an explanation later the child was quiet and the other continued unhindered, "if you can..." he searched for simple words, "get this then you can claim a place among the Inu clan as a true son."

The child was silent.

Sesshomaru frowned, wondering what was taking the boy so long to replay. Then his heart skipped a beat.

Oh, Kami, no!

Worse, the child had a thoughtful look scrunched into his young face. Sesshomaru had asked the question simply out of ritual, because his father had instructed him too at the time the child became an orphan, but it seemed as if the boy was going to seriously consider it. Oh Kami, please don't let the fool think he can survive that long on his own! He felt helpless. As of yet the child was his responsibility, but he could not make this decision for the boy, it was taboo to even try. Still, he could not help feel, that if the boy chose to go off on his own and got himself killed, as if he had failed his father once more, and he mentally begged any empathetic force that may be listening to please make the child decline the offer.

But the pup had accepted the challenge, and so Sesshomaru's habitual surveillance had been established. After some time, he had perfected the art; employing others to watch over his half-brother with instructions to not interfere with any of the hanyou's dealings unless absolutely necessary and to do so in a not just a second but third handed manner whenever possible.

The incident with the war between the dog clan and the cat clan where Inuyasha had been disposed by a human miko had caused Sesshomaru to loose all faith in the bastard. He had sent Jaken to ask the half-breed to join him at his side as part of the great Inu clan and a leader to the western forces beside his brother. He had expected his brother to finally raise and take his place beside him; so that they may fight together as true kin. When the useless imp had returned alone he had smiled at the pride and bravado of his half-brother in refusing the summons of his lord and the calling of his clan. He was infuriated when he found that the impudent half-breed that had so strongly declared his independence when still a toddler and had won his own place and name in fame and prestige was to cast his clan's name as low as to play pet to mortals. When he had sent Jaken the hanyou had earned a place in the Inu clan and was to be presented as a true son of the late Inu no Taishou with all the rights a full yokai would have been granted.

The war had changed all that. At its horrid conclusion, a horror that could have been avoided had the sons of the late Inudaiyōkai joined together in the frey, the western lord had returned to his castle and cast the bastard's name from the clan's record. Never! Never would that traitorous wimp ever be acknowledged as part of HIS family! Despite this seething anger, he had continued to keep watch over his the boy. Although he never freed the hanyou, as he could have easily found way to do, nor did he wake him from his sleep, still prisoner, or allow disaster to befall the prone body.

At the latest take over bide from the cats he had come to see the incident differently. His experience with Rin, who sadly reminded him of the long ago child whom had blindly fallowed him as he lead them through the forest, with her human ways and honest intensity had brought him some understanding in regards to his brother's overall thought and actions. The boy had come a long way from the toddler Sesshomaru had held in his arms as he cried over the lose of the only family he had ever known and even since his ill begotten tryst with the miko known as Kikyo. Inuyasha had learned to hide his thoughts behind a bumptious or even oblivious air, and although he was still overflowing with emotions, he could hide some behind others or simply mark them with an insidious arrogance as to confuse anyone who may have glimpsed the true motions of his heart. And it was obvious upon close inspection that the "idiot" knew far more than he let on. The Inu Dai Yokai doubted that even those close companion's of his, despite how much the hanyou genuinely loved each of them, really knew the half-demon.