The anonymous back
The whole thing started, as these things often do, because one person had an amusing idea, that became a reality and then a trend that would haunt participates to their graves. This time around it was nude calendars for charity. (Collective scream of horror)
Anko had brought back one from outside, a civilian publication featuring the local fire brigade with half their uniform artfully arranged, the other half missing and various pieces of equipment used in a suggestive manner. This created a ripple of interest in the ninja populace and annoyed Jiraiya because it lessened interest in his latest book. It probably would have stopped there too, if a drunken Tsunade hadn't proclaimed that Mr. October had the best butt, that Konohagakure's only decent butt had been the deceased Hayate (when he was 4) and that no one in her village had the guts to bare all for charity. She then fell off the table, and was forcibly confined to bed and paperwork for a week.
It was enough to spark off an avalanche of interest. Surpriseingly Ibiki took control as soon as it became apparent that the idea was not going to go away, so he laid down the following ground rules.
All proceeds go to the orphans funds. (always under pressure)
No female ninja were to be involved, especially those who specialized in seduction to complete their missions. (no he's not being sexist just paranoid)
All Photos were to be anonymous as possible.
No one had a problem with the first, but the second and the third did cause outright arguments until Ibiki quietly told them that the photos could always be used to identify bodies both alive and dead. Most took the hint; those that didn't had intelligent friends to explain it to them. (Gai and Asuma had to tie Kakashi up, apply a truth serum and explained it to him in small words over 3 days, so great was his disappointment).
A weaken by paper work Tsunade , after some discussion with Ibiki and other security persons, then officially laid down the following ground rules.
No ninja who used seduction techniqces involving nudity was to take part. (unorthodox means of identification to targets)
All photos were to be chest, torso or back shots in black and white or sepia tones. ( no easily identifiable head shots or skin colors)
All photos to be anonymous to outsiders, but inhabitants of Konohagakure could nominate and vote for their favorites, but the results would be kept secret and only a full list of those nominated would be published.
Only twelve, those with the highest vote counts would be published, but the centre fold photo would be the best photo taken, not the most popular.
All the usual rules of over the age of 18 etc. would apply.
Anko as the party held responsible for introducing the idea was placed in charge of the nominating process and as such forbidden to enter. She promptly went into bitch mode and had to be restrained from killing Genma who kept opening his mouth at the wrong time. After much kafuffle, argument and outright threats, approximately 2 thirds of the chunnin and 1 quarter of the jonin were qualified and nominated.
The official photograher was seen with tears of joy running down his face on hearing he was at last allowed to do more than argue with snotty genin. His artistically beautiful photo style that had gotten him the highest paid job in the village would now be used to its greatest extent. He thrilled to the challenge of the limitations; oh it had been years since he felt his heart beat with such enthusiasm. (He was so unrecognizable from his usual grumpy self that Ibiki put him under surveillance just to be sure no enemies could replace him.)
Ibiki, together with the heads of Anbu, arranged a secure studio space and the schedule the nominees were to adhere to. No one was allowed to back out simply because greater anonymous numbers meant more security for everyone. (Even though the large numbers threatened everyone's sanity. Ibiki discovered a fetish for self abuse via headache that surprised him.)
Finally, after 2 months since the start of the …trend, communal headache, nonsense, fiasco? The photos were selected and turned into a rough copy that ended up on Tsunade's desk for final approval.
It contained beautiful photos of 8 men and 4 women with the most beautiful bodies, all artfully lit in subtle tones and sensuality. Then there was the centerfold photo, a male viewed from the back on a cane chair. Done in sepia tones he was only visible from the hip bones up and as he had his head resting low on his forearms on the back of the chair, all you really saw was an artful mass of bedroom hair that came to rest just below his nape. His build was of average height and weight but had the beautifully defined muscles of a gymnast. Tsunade spent 5 minutes drooling at him and then tried to steal the photo.
At last the calendar went officially on sale (which again annoyed Jiraiya as his book sales hadn't really recovered since the start of this fiasco). For the next week 'guess the ninja' was the game everyone played. The identities of most were never made public, but there were exceptions.
First and most obvious was Gai's photo, no he was not doing his thumbs up pose, it's just that the tight green jumpsuit leaves nothing to the imagination especially on a hot sweaty day when it practically molded itself to his body. He was in black and white tones, a full front torso shot that started at his hips and stopped below his chin. It was a classic wilting pose against a Greek pillar with ivy. For once people agreed that he was indeed in the springtime of his youth.
The second ID was somewhat slower; a woman shown neck to thigh from the side sat in a window frame toying with a necklace, a ribbon and of course a kunai. It was proven to be Kunari when Asuma, back from a mission of a couple of months, first saw the calendar, fainted from blood loss (mission related wounds, cough, cough.) and then marched over to her apartment for the loudest domestic argument in recent history.
Kunari then ID Asuma in the calendar to shut him up. He hid in shame for about a week. His photo, done in silver nitrate, consisted of torso shot, a lot of discarded wrapping paper and a large metallic ribbon ornately wrapped about his manfully furry chest and shoulders. (Yes, a lot of enterprising people started selling 'Asuma' teddy bears as soon as they found out).
And so over time, eventually most people discreetly found out who was in their favorite photo… except for the centerfold. No one ever found out who that was… until Naruto bothered looking at it, and then he started to laugh in spite of the fact that Sakura had him in a headlock. (He really wasn't interested such things since training under Jiraiya).
He laughed so much he ran out air and went unconscious to Sakura's surprise. She dropped him on the floor picked up the centerfold for another look to see what could possibly cause his reaction. Sakura saw nothing new, not even with a magnifying glass. It was the same beautiful male back with his head resting on his forearms on the back of the chair. All lovely muscle tones set off with reflective oil and artfully arranged light.
Naruto recovered and spent the next week giggling at her every time she asked about it. Finally Tsunade (tired of her student's constant distracted state of mind) demanded he tell her what he knew; Naruto grinned, and started babbling about hiding in plain sight and how reflective surfaces could fool the eye. Tsunade threw him out after 5 minutes then went and looked at the photo again. She eyed it carefully and then started to laugh.
Right there in plain sight, but carefully camouflaged by the reflective surfaces created by the oil and light was a thick scar about 10cm long, smack in the middle of his back at shoulder line. Yes, she had seen it before and heard the story behind, during several routine health checks. Oh boy was she looking forward to seeing it again.
Tsunade and Naruto then had the most wonderful time teasing the rest of world, who of course then had to go back to the photo for another look. This again annoyed Jiraya; he had another new book out.
PS. Naruto did tell Iruka sensei about it over ramen and fell off his stool laughing as the rather modest man turned the color of a cooked lobster.